Discovering and Declaring Your Genuine Voice: Lessons for Any Age or Stage – Part II

Beginning to prepare for my Sunday, March, 12 guest sermon debut for the Cedarhurst Unitarian Universalists.  The invitation itself has added to my conception-label of role and voice with the help of my “sister.” Miss Eva added to the litany of nicknames over the years bestowed and self-generated:  Stress Doc ™, Motivational Psychohumorist ™, Shrink Rapper ™, and the latest – “The Sermonator” ™.  (The UU gathering is north of Baltimore; 2912 Club House Road, Finksburg, MD 21048.  Services are from 10:30-12:30pm; http://cedarhurstuu.org/home/;  Contact:  info@cedarhurstuu.org.)  The sermon theme:  “Finding Your Voice at Any Age.”  So, it’s a good time to complete Part II of “Discovering and Declaring Your Genuine Voice.”  The opening segment (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/discovering-declaring-your-genuine-voice-lessons-any-age-mark-gorkin) explored the meaning of “discovering and declaring your voice” and also outlined the first five Finding Your Voice Lessons:

1.  Confront Your Intimate FOE

2.  Play with a Child

3.  Try Poetry and Pictures

4.  Be Out-Rage-ous

5.  Recognize It’s a Digital World.

Time to ring out 6-10.  P.S.  Would love to meet you on the 12^th.

The Stress Doc’s Finding Your Voice Lessons – Skills and Strategies:

6.  Quietly Listen and Blend the Unconscious and the Conscious.   Discovering your voice begins in the quiet recesses of your unconscious cave-mind.  First you listen for the subterranean ebb and flow:  the confluence of subconscious images and intuitions, shadowy ideas and insights streaming randomly and/or rhythmically from the psyche, heart, and gut.  Then, after a while, your conscious mind comes into play, akin to slowly awakening from a dream state.  Now you ponder or, as likely, mentally meander through the compelling imagery that survives the unconscious to conscious transition.  Turning over the mind-body fragments, feeling some tension as you look for Lego-like connections among the discrete, kaleidoscopic bits of data, until the psychic path fades out or…Aha!

7.  Envision a “Cutting Edge” Voice.  Building on #6, let me illuminate that unconscious-conscious-creative path by drawing on parts of the “Introduction” from my recent e-book, Preserving Human Touch in a High-Tech World.  In the early ‘90s, living in DC, I was invited on a radio show hosted by an African-American woman to talk about stress.  We hit it off; upon discovering she had some connections to the music industry, I sent her a bluesy/rap-like verse penned a few years earlier, while living in N’Awlins.  Here’s the opening:

The Burnout Boogie

Well I got the burnout boogie

My mind just wants the snooze

Well I got the burnout boogie

Guess it's time to sing the blues.

(Chorus)   'Cause I'm all burnt out

                 And I'm full of self-doubt

                 All I want to do is shout

                 And baby, just get the hell out.

Now the boss says, Do this project!"

And you know I'd like to please

But I'm feeling like a reject

And I'm down upon my knees.

Well I got the burnout boogie

So I guess I must refuse

Well I got the burnout boogie

Man, I need to take a cruise.

(Chorus)

Rap was starting to catch on big-time.  In addition, she was also promoting a beauty contest, and I volunteered to write a thematic anthem – “The Electrifying Lady.”  It wasn’t selected, but got serious consideration.  (They were confused by my line, “She's a sister and a brother.”  Guess when it comes to male/female psychological ambidexterity and/or gender possibilities I was just ahead of the times.)  Here’s the opening stanzas and chorus:

The Electrifying Lady

The Electrifying Lady
The hottest in the land
Her look will drive you crazy
Her mind is in command.

The lady's smart and sassy
So don't tell her where to go.
She's not your little lassie
This Black Goddess stops the show.

     'Cause Electrifying Lady is shock energy
     For a mind and body surging to be free.
     Now Lady Electric just don't know her place
     That Ms. E. L. is hyperspace.

©  Mark Gorkin   1992
"Shrink Rap" Productions

[Email stressdoc@aol.com for the entire lyric.]
~~~~~~~~~~

In the meantime, a month or so passed without a word about my “Boogie.”  So, I called the radio host.  She had sent it to a rap group in LA who liked it…but then the LA Riots broke out.  She hadn’t heard anything.  I guess it became “The Burnt-Up Boogie!”

From Twilight “Aha!” to Out of the Rapper Closet

To put some closure on this meandering tale…one morning in bed, in a dream-like state – neither sleeping nor awake – I start musing:  “Mark, you’re a therapist, you’ve been a university professor…what are you doing trying to write rap lyrics?”  And then, percolating up from dawns early depths, pushed to consciousness by identity conflict…a flash out of the contradictory haze:  “Of course, you’re into Shrink Rap.”  And eventually, a paradoxical insight:  A new voice may emerge from a novel vision of self!

And with the early ‘90s concept, a number of works quickly followed, with a Shrink Rapper twist.  After hearing the original “Stress Doc’s Stress Rap” ™, an African-American lawyer-friend noted:  “Oh, so you’re into ‘Aristocratic Rap.’”

Finally, talking of finding a new voice, it took some “trial and terror” to basically lose all inhibition and sense of proportion.  With an evolving entertainer’s mindset, I added a Blues Brothers hat, black sunglasses, and a black tambourine.  Now I started performing my homegrown rap during “Practice Safe Stress” speaking programs and workshops.  To this day, with a tad more method than madness, I don my ensemble, one by one, while slyly acknowledging a secret identity.  (Naturally, I share the suspicion that the audience might prefer my keeping this secret in the closet.)  Alas, too late…”The hat’s out of the bag.  I'm pioneering the field of psychologically humorous rap music and as a therapist calling it, of course, 'Shrink Rap' ™ Productions."  Predictably, there's an audible groan from the audience.  And my response:  "Groan now.  We'll see who has the last groan." And then, “The Stress Doc’s Stress Rap”:

When it comes to feelings do you stuff them inside?

Is tough John Wayne your emotional guide…

To…

Now I made you feel guilty, you want to confess

Better you should practice “The Art of Safe Stress!”

In truth, initially, mouths are agape.  Midstream, people are laughing knowingly, spontaneously providing rhythmic backup and, by the end, hands are engaged in energetic applause.  Of course, as the clapping subsides, I get in the last word, declaring:  “I’ve been doing this long enough…I know when an audience is applauding out of relief!”

A Closing Musing:  A twilight vision crystallized the edgy Shrink Rap concept, placing me on an ever-

evolving, “Four ‘C’-ing Psychohumorist Path-Voice”:  Seeking to be Creative-Courageous-Comedic-Compassionate!

8.  Reflect on Nature.   The recesses of the mind and being somewhat “out of your mind” help cultivate a newfound voice.  However, so too when outside the mind’s normal chattering state, that is, when meditatively and then poetically absorbed in the wonders of nature.  Consider this passage from my essay, “Gospel of a Country Road,” based on a mid-October, overnight retreat to a remote mountain village in Helvetia (“Little Switzerland”), West Virginia:

And speaking of the brain and the senses, for me, the color of the leaves also evokes an overpowering chemical reaction. When bathed in sunlight, the shimmering waves of lemons and apricots and orange-cranberry hues overwhelm the logical left-hemisphere. All I can do is gaze and sometimes gasp. And from a distance write:

The forest as the artist/Trees willowy and bold
The brushstrokes of the branches/Leaves afire red and gold.
And then God-like fingers/Stream down from above
Solar rays caress you both/A touch of nature's love.

[From my "Mountain Vision" lyric.]

While not brilliantly breathtaking, the colors have a more subtle, a more mature beauty this year. (Maybe it's a projection of a fifty-year-old psyche ;-)

And when the color disappears and night descends, then the other big picture show takes center stage. Walking in the cool, clean, crisp mountain air, down another country road, beyond the last remnants of man-made lighting, reveals the truly majestic and miraculous mystery. As wonderful as cyberspace is, it can't compete with the real thing.

9.  Allow Yourself to Be Challenged.  Accepting an unexpected assignment or the challenge around a performance task, or emotionally stretching outside one’s relationship comfort zone, can be the impetus for a new or expanded voice.  For example, recently, a friend strongly suggested that I transform my anti-bullying Power Point Slide Children’s Song (to the tune of the camp favorite, "B-I-N-G-O") into a lyric for adults.  Actually, many adults, upon hearing or hearing about my child’s' version say, in essence, bullying is not just for kids...It's rampant in the workplace!

My initial “adult version” angst was brought on by self-comparison:  would I be able to generate a worthy companion piece to my child’s lyric?  Eventually, I followed my own risk-taking advice:  Aware-ily Jump In Over Your Head! and “Strive to Survive the High Dive.  Would love to hear your thoughts on my meeting the challenge.  If inclined, feel free to share...maybe slip it under someone's door! ;-)  P.S. If you'd like to see the original Bully Boy/Girl Slide Song, just e-holler.

BULLY Guy/Gal:  A Workplace Variation

[In this version, the four (or five lines) of each stanza are sung with the same melody as in the original.  The same rules apply to the B-U-L-L-Y chorus as in the B-I-N-G-O chorus.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~

At my work, there’s a “big” dude

And Bully Guy’s his name, oh

Blaming me for what he did

Pumps his inflated ego.

B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y…

And Bully Guy’s his name, sigh.

Stalking me all down the hall

Controlling is his game, oh

When did “scarcasm” get so cool?

Isn’t this against the rules?

Not when the boss’ bud, oh.

Why does he just pick on me?

The Guy should be ashamed, oh

Is he green with jealousy?

Or just a red bull guy, oh…

B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y…

And Bully Guy’s his name, sigh.

Meetings are ruled by his “facts”

There is no room for doubt, oh

Speaking up gets you the axe

Or, he will just storm out, oh.

Just because he makes it rain

All look the other way, oh

While morale goes down the drain

Does money make a hero?

B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y…

And Bully Guy’s his name, sigh.

I must learn to take a stand

And overcome self-blame, oh

Not just bow to his demands

Nor play the helpless zero.

I will find one trustworthy

To talk out all my pain, oh

Then stand tall as an oak tree

Or walk away, nothing to say

But with my head held high, oh…

B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y…

And Bully Guy’s his name, sigh.

Now I see…the real tragedy

Leaders’ heads in the sand, oh

A virus kills a company

When no one takes command, oh…

B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y… B-U-L-L-Y…

I’ve overcome self-doubt, oh

B-R-A-V-O… B-R-A-V-O… B-R-A-V-O…

I will give a shout, oh

No longer just an also ran

I now am my own wo/man

Cause I got the way hell out, Oh, Yeah!

© Mark Gorkin  2017

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

10. Perceive, Play, Practice, Pilot, and Project.  You might call these “The Five Voice-Performance ‘P’s”:

1) Perceive and be curious about your inner voice and vision

2) Play with it; try out different sounds, shades, and dimensions

3) Practice with purpose:  what will be your agenda, structure, and key objectives

4) Pilot in front of an audience (or two or three)

5) Project your new voice…perceive the feedback…Then repeat the five-voice cycle!

You can find and evolve a voice for just about any age and stage.  Consider these inspiring words of acclaimed medical pioneer, Dr. Jonas Salk:  Evolution is about getting up one more time than you fall down; about being courageous one more time than you are fearful; and about being trusting just one more time than you are anxious.  All I can add is, Amen and women, to that!

Closing:  The Stress Doc’s Finding Your Voice Lessons – Skills and Strategies 1-10:

1.  Confront Your Intimate FOE

2.  Play with a Child

3.  Try Poetry and Pictures

4.  Be Out-Rage-ous

5.  Recognize It’s a Digital World.

6.  Quietly Listen and Blend the Unconscious and the Conscious

7.  Envision a “Cutting Edge” Voice

8.  Reflect on Nature

9.  Allow Yourself to Be Challenged

10. Perceive, Play, Practice, Pilot, and Project

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative.  Current Leadership Coach/Training Consultant for the international Embry-Riddle Aeronautics University at the Daytona, FL headquarters.  A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.  Presently Mark does Critical Incident Debriefing for organizational/corporate clients of Business Health Services.  The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info, email:  stressdoc@aol.com.