Capturing and Captivating No Matter the Setting: Mastering the Interview Process and Training the Trainer

Two pieces on how to capture and captivate, whether during an interview (an essay) or as a public speaker-trainer-educator (a program blurb-objectives on Training the Trainer and Educator: Informing and Inspiring through Passion Power & Interactive Humor).  Enjoy!

Mastering the Interview Process: Turning (and Dancing On) the Tables

After reading a colleague’s essay on how companies can better manage an interview process, my Janusian nature, quick to discern both (or multiple) sides of an issue, fairly jumped out of its skin, declaring, Au contraire!  How about the interviewee strategically, if not outrageously, stealing the evaluative show?  (FYI, Janus, is the double-profiled ancient Roman God.  The god of beginnings and endings, leavings and returns, gazes left and right simultaneously.)

Actually, I had been quietly percolating on this subject ever since an HR Professional at a Washington, DC Public Charter School recently commented on my unique approach to being interviewed.  Meeting with her, her boss, and the COO of the school, my mission was clear:  to convince the troika that the “Stress Doc” ™ was the best person to deliver a training workshop on “Managing Conflict” to school administrators, faculty, and staff.

My method, apparently, was compelling.  Actually, the HR Pro (who I’ll call Z), in a post-workshop chat, acknowledged that my unexpected methodology was outside her realm of “interview” experience, and certainly made an impression.  Let me illustrate.  Almost from the outset, not letting the encounter settle into a predictable Q & A rhythm, I suddenly turned the interview into an interactive performance-learning lab.  More specifically, I challenged them to play my “Four Faces of Anger” Game.  Basically, it was a word association to constructive or destructive, purposeful or spontaneous expressions of anger.  Instantaneously, the room became alive with energy and expectation:  I definitely had their attention and all were wondering where this quirky fellow was taking them?  This instructor-expert was challenging his “students” to think on their feet.  (I was no longer the only person in the room being evaluated.)  And no matter the responses, some encouraging if not affirming feedback was provided…The first rule of “how to make friends and influence people.”

And to prove I was not a one-hit wonder, we jumped into a second exercise.  I had the HR folks pair off:  one had just given an important presentation at a board meeting; her colleague was to give her feedback.  In the instructions, it appears that the feedback will be balanced; the reality is quite different.  Her colleague, reading from a sheet that I quickly scripted, the presenter hears, Wow, you fumbled the data.  I thought you said you prepared!  While the first exercise mostly challenged the head, this one definitely massages both head and heart!

And finally, the COO’s use of the word “compromise” as a conflict-resolution ideal became my cue for introducing the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory.  The five styles are based on the “high” or “low” degree of an individual’s “Assertiveness” and “Cooperativeness:  Competition-Avoidance-Accommodation-Collaboration-(and in the middle)-Compromise.  While each style has positive and negative aspects, I differentiated my ideal – “Collaboration” (High Assertiveness and High Cooperativeness) – from middle-of-the-road “compromise.”  Compromise is quick and dirty, a convenient agreement.  Collaboration takes time and energy as you uncover hidden ideas, agendas, and emotions, allowing difference and diversity to spark short-term conflict for evolving creativity.  Another potential payoff:  an opportunity for real buy-in and to forge productive partnerships.

And, in fact, during the interview process we had generated some synergy:  not only had the individual pieces/people created a whole greater than the sum of the parts, but magically the parts had begun building a partnership.

Actually, there were two final steps – first, homework was assigned:  I would write-up a program draft with objectives based on our discussion, and the interview team would solicit staff to further shape our workshop focus.  Then I ended the meeting giving all a small sample of my pioneering efforts in the field of psychologically humorous rap music…Shrink Rap ™ Productions!

Key Structures and Strategies for Capturing the Interview Process

1.  Quickly take charge of the interview process

2.  Initially, don’t be afraid to puzzle your audience, or to be a bit edgy or quirky

3.  Actively engage interviewers in some structured (even if spontaneous) learning exercise

4.  Turn the interview process into your planned and improvisational stage

5.  Make sure the “audience” is part of the show

6. While an educational and entertaining experience, give the interviewers a chance to “show off’ their knowledge and expertise; as Ernest Becker, acclaimed American philosopher, observed, The most important human urge is the desire to feel important!

7. Make it easy for the interviewer or interview team to imagine you as a dynamic performer-contributor in whatever your future role-assignment with the company or organization: Stand Out, Don’t Just Be Outstanding!

8.  Assign post-meeting tasks that encourage follow-up

9.  Between the interview and your “start date,” share and discuss new or evolving information and ideas

10.  And finish with a memorable close, one that has both pith and punch, that is, the Stress Doc’s “New KISS” – Keep It Short & Smart!

Oh yes, a little “lagniappe”:  The process generates real synergy – the individuals begin working as a motivated and coordinated team!

Some tips to help you Practice Safe Stress before, during, and after an interview.

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Training the Trainer and Educator: Informing and Inspiring through Passion Power and Interactive Humor

In a TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – Driven and Distracted World, getting and holding people’s attention is critical.  Capturing your audience is necessary, but still not sufficient.  As noted by a Diversity Consultant and Program Coordinator for Human Resources of Palm Beach County, FL, the local SHRM affiliate:  (The Stress Doc ™) has a way of captivating the audience and makes them want to hear more…a must hear!

When information inspires and inspiring methods inform, then the Director of Diabetes Education, Mercy Medical Center/Baltimore, acclaims:  Great presentation. It really inspired me to improve my own presentation skills and brainstorm with my coworkers how to make our diabetes education classes more fun.

Have no fear…Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc, acclaimed speaker, author, educator, therapist, Stress Resilience Consultant, and “Psychohumorist” ™ is here to share his experience and expertise.  Help your folks “Get FIT” – through FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking – speaking, training, and workshop methods and programs.  Enable your organization or company trainers and educators to be informative and inspiring…and to share the wealth of stimulating and strategic ideas and exercises with potential learners.  Actually, the Doc’s “how to” blend of mind-jolting concepts and dynamically engaging small-large group exercises is for anyone that wants to be a more compelling leader-communicator.  Or for a leader that wants to build more productive, better communicating and coordinating teams.

Whether in a one-hour keynote or a two-day (or more) intensive, let the Doc boost your team or your company to the creative learning-performing edge!

Objectives:  Dynamic Dozen

[This menu can be adapted to your specific time logistics and learning needs]

1.  The Five “A”s of Arousing Communication: Attention-Anticipation-Animation-Activation-Actualization

2.  Opening Techniques for Quickly Capturing an Audience’s Attention…and Wondering, “What’s Next?”

3.  Harnessing the Power of “Self” and Dealing with Group Process to Hold, Captivate, and to Build Trust

4.  Imparting Concepts (& Power Points) with the Stress Doc’s “New KISS”:  Keep It Short & Smart!

5.  Turning Key Concepts into Playful and Powerful Group Exercises for Applied-Integrated Learning

6.  Discover the “Stress Doc’s 5 ‘P’s of Passion Power”:   Generating a More Compelling Presence & Creative Essence – being Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful-Philosophical

7.  Using Healing & Harmonizing (esp. Self-Effacing) Humor without being a Stand-up Comic

8.  Helping the Audience Generate Its Own Playful and Powerful Sharing Experiences:  The Art of Storytelling and Group Drawing; Transforming Angst and Aggression into Artful Absurdity

9.  Fielding Difficult Audience Questions; Dealing with Challenging Audience Members

10. Defining the Role of the Individual and the Group to Maximize Brainstorming

11. Group Reflection on Learning Achieved and Gaps, and Techniques/Tools for “Saving the Retreat”

12. Designing an “M & M” – Memorable and Motivating – Close…and Have Them Wanting More!

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You!

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc.

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  The Doc is a training and Stress Resilience Consultant for The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group.  He has also led “Resilience, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Part III: Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding (Section A); Be Out-Rage-Ous…Not Just “Out of the Box”: (Section B)

Section A:  Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding

 

As the first two essays of this four-part series – “Less Is More…More or Less and Play to Strengths” and “The New KISS:  Keep It Simple and Smart” – illustrated, leaders, really all communicators, more than ever need to consciously craft clear and concise yet also compelling messages.  (Clearly, the Stress Doc is still learning to “heal thyself.”)  The never ending digital/media bombardment, a) not only strains attention spans, and b) fosters ever-lurking “d and p” – distraction and procrastination, but c) can foster social isolation d) rigid fixation, and e) drain energy for even looking at another message, let alone thoughtfully ingesting and responding.  (And being so digitally sedentary and sedated is not good for the brain, back, or belly.)  Is today’s new mind-body mantra, Time to detox from your digital inbox?

 

In fact, with this ever-present “brain-body strain” and constant cacophony of data, dalliance, and diatribe, as one author succinctly asked:  Are You Being Heard or Are You Just Making Noise?

 

Designing the Pass in the Impasse

 

In a TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – driven and distracted world, being “clear and concise” are increasingly necessary conditions for a message to be noticed.  However, these two message components may not be sufficient for your missive to be recognized and received, let alone engaged and embraced.  In a media jungle one must have distinctive verbals, visuals, and nonverbals (including body language, volume range, expressions, gestures, tone, pacing, etc.).  Even being loud or commanding may fall short.  One must project a message that radiates compelling contrast.  And my “Contrasting Message Mantra”:

Ø  Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding

Ø  Be Out-“Rage”-Ous…Not Just “Out of the Box”!

 

So let’s examine both components for fighting “digital distraction” and “in-box burnout”:

1. Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding.  Outstanding or exceptional knowledge and experience in a complex skill- and practice-based endeavor or field typically requires ten years and thousands of hours of trial and error learning and practice.  An extended apprenticeship is necessary for consistently performing consciously and skillfully and for improvising as needed.  High performance relies on both overt and implicit or “muscle memory.”

 

With this rite of passage, an insightful communicational leader develops well-honed “Substance and Style, Structure and Strategy” concepts and skills, tools, and techniques.  Such a conceptual-performance matrix is foundational for launching a truly meaningful and compelling – or “outstanding” – message and media platform.  And, once into a mutual engagement process…an authority’s savvy, integrity, and wisdom (or lack thereof) will often be affirmed (or exposed).

 

Finally, three key components of savvy, integrity, and wisdom:  a) a well spring of conscious and unconscious knowledge and memory along with comfort with uncertainty or complexity; at the same time, a drive to learn continuously, b) an ability to engage in both decisive action and judicious restraint, and c) a capacity for discerning the need for intimate involvement and emotional detachment; a recognition of the yin-yang nature of pain, partnership, and progress, i.e., to achieve “growing pains and evolving paths” wisdom.

The Challenge of Getting Started

However, there’s that start-up/engagement problem.  Let me provide an analogy.  Most of us know the time-honored adage:  “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”  Alas, these days that text/book may never be sighted, picked up, or downloaded, let alone evaluated, without an eye-catching and mind-grabbing verbal-visual or audio-video “brainbow”-colored jacket.  (Brainbow comes from 2013 Surfaces and Essences by Douglas Hofstadter and Emanuel Sander, a ground-breaking work on the power and omnipresence of analogical thinking.  A brainbow is an analogy that vividly connects diverse or distant minds).  When folks are in scan (or emotional stress) mode, they may not have the focus and persistence nor take the time to begin distinguishing foundational or underlying excellence from a seemingly hot, smoke and mirrors façade…unless you fight smoke by providing some brain fire.

 

The Triple “A” of Audience Engagement:  Attention-Anticipation-Action

Three steps for powerful engagement:
1) In multi-sensory fashion, your first task is to grab an actual or potential audience’s attention.

2) You want them on the edge of their seat in anticipation of your next communication or action.  (And being seen as edgy or quirky or deemed a “firecracker” – as personally dubbed by a Ft. Hood Senior Sergeant – is often a differentiating plus.)  So in addition to being eye-catching or “brilliant,” increasingly you must bring and trigger energy, illumination, and “heat.”  One must risk being provocative, even at times generate mind-challenging friction and conflict.  (Of course, a danger as a communicator is that your heat mostly morphs into message smog and “hot air”; e.g., while some may find her “hot,” I’m most aware of Fox News pundit Ann Coulter’s “light-weight” yet deceptively oppressive and often toxic “air quality” index.)

 

3) Finally, to solidify your connection with an audience, and to stimulate their sense of commitment and involvement, provide an opportunity for group’s to take meaningful problem-solving action.  I always introduce or illustrate a concept or skill with a “hands on” small group activity: buying-in to a new vision or viewpoints, skills and strategies, or tools and techniques requires applied knowledge.

Soular and Lunar Power

 

This engaging “Triple ‘A’” will help you reach your “stand out” goal:  achieving genuine and meaningful connection and contrast!   You must be the solar (and “soular”) power among the competing planetary platforms and programs.  And even if smaller, you can still be unpredictably lunar by possessing dimensional variability or bring a touch of divine lunacy; loom in the shadows, disappear and return, have ebb and flow (obvious and subtle) influence on the currents and characters of change; cast an indelible, luminous image on the waters, place events in a bewitching light or mysterious perspective, etc.  All of the above help you both exert a gravitational-motivational pull while out-shining other “stars” in that swirling and swarming social media galaxy.  Such an uncommon performance would truly be “outstanding.”

 

 

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Creative Risk-Taking and Performing in a “TNT/3-D” World: Pathway and Process, Partnering, and Platform Building

This essay is for anyone communicating with small or large groups of people, especially a leader-educator-trainer-counselor trying to awaken, engage, and inspire minds of all shapes and sizes…to work and play smarter, both as individuals, as a team, and/or a community.

Creative Risk-Taking and Performing in a “TNT/3-D” World:  Pathway and Process, Partnering, and Platform Building

As the testimonials below illustrate, two recent “kickoff and keynote” programs powerfully and personally resonated with 100 + audiences.  While having previously received enthusiastic testimonials, I’ve had to make modifications in presentational style and substance to keep up with these “TNT/3-D” – Time-Numbers-Technology/Driven-Distracted-Disruptive – times:

a) people seem to have more data distracted minds or digitally induced shorter attention spans;

b) the balance between lecture (or even Q and A) and group exercises and role play-type encounters must be increasingly skewed to the active, participatory learning dynamic,

c) participants want relevant tools and techniques they can apply RIGHT NOW, and

d) ideally the learning process is one that helps folks become more FIT – by being Fun-Interactive-Thought-provoking!  (And I find all generations are receptive, not just Millennials and Gen Texters.)

The Insightful-Interactive Performance Foundation:  From Concept to Application

Let me start this reflection process from a foundational perspective.  For over thirty years I have led and facilitated highly interactive speaking and workshop programs.  Playing in this arena has fostered the conviction that people buy-in and learn more when they experience and engage with “concepts in action and interaction,” especially ones that have personal-professional relevance for:

1) Work-life-relationship wellbeing – enhancing personal wellness and vitality or mind-body integrity; strengthening work-skills ability and productivity and transitional stress resilience; and improving communicational and relational capacities,

2) “Helmet’s Off” atmosphere – establishing “helmet’s off” and “hand’s on” trust through listening, sharing, and suspending status barriers while setting and exploring healthy boundaries, that is,

3) Openness and collaboration – facilitating safe levels of emotional openness, along with collaborative problem solving,

4) Dialogue, diversity, and depth – understanding how both expressing one’s personal viewpoint and considering diverse even seemingly contradictory input often broadens and/or deepens perspective while stimulating individual and group creative output, and

5) Individual and community growth and goals – achieving individual and/or team goals while becoming more comfortable in one’s own skin and demonstrating commitment to a larger community.

Rapid, Real, and Relevant Small Group Interaction:  Engagement, Vulnerability, Risk-taking, and Intimacy Effects

Especially when time is limited, this process of exploration and reflection, discovery and application is often energized and expedited by engaging in small group exercises, whether there are twenty or two hundred in the program arena.  The exercises, even opening “ice breakers,” are always based on meaningful “real world” needs or desires, problems or conflicts.  The interpersonal interaction grabs people’s attention and heightens a sense of unpredictability.  It’s difficult to hide in a small group.  The setting alone stimulates some emotional risk, reactions, and responses:  there’s both encouragement and some pressure to tentatively, purposefully, or playfully share.  Of course, sharing can take the form of all manner of self-disclosure as well as questioning, supporting, playing with, and/or challenging a partner or team members.  The exercises gradually increase the level of personal and group sharing, along with a sense of common task involvement and an acceptable level of vulnerability.  As some degree of trust evolves, the result invariably is a more interactive and intimate team and community.  A presenter can help participants create this “safe” atmosphere by reminding the audience that these are not “true confession” exercises:  do not share at a level that basically feels uncomfortable; emotional sharing and risk-taking should be a stretch…not a strain.  The individual ultimately (hopefully) determines his or her own pace and level of participation.

Rethinking and Reworking the Performance Ground

As mentioned above, the technological and social media revolution has me rethinking that optimal formula for presentational and interactional content and design – substance and style, form and function – especially:

1) the percentage of time, emphasis, and energy allotted among lecture, including being serious and humorous, Q and A and group discussion, and generating interactive exercises and

2) the selective juggling of roles – including educator and entertainer, time conscious audience reader, questioner, and organizer; of course, emotional energizer and group motivator; also skills and tools supplier, group interaction – process, support, and problem solving – facilitator, as well as challenging and inspirational leader (e.g., being an open and authentic, vulnerable and risk-taking role model helping individuals and teams bring out their best music), and even a community builder.

A Personal Path of Creative Risk-Taking (CRT)

There is a fluid and oftentimes unpredictable interplay of structure and spontaneity in most Stress Doc programs.  A determination to engage the multiple roles effectively and efficiently insures that I will be engaging in “Creative Risk-Taking:  The Art of Designing Disorder.”  (Not surprisingly, this is the title of an article forged over thirty years ago upon breaking into Cable TV with no prior media experience.  Over the decades, a few variations have been penned.  For example, two subtitles: “Cox Cable Chaos” and “Confronting Your Intimate FOE:  Fear of Exposure.”

Here is an article synopsis followed by a link:  The Stress Doc, drawing on his experience as a public speaker, takes a conceptual look at why challenging our need for rigid perfection and control is vital for becoming more risk-taking and more creative. The practical and comical comes next.  http://www.stressdoc.com/creative_risk_taking2.htm .)

The basic “Four CRT Steps” (with slight recent upgrade) are:

1. Aware-ily Jump in Over Your Head
2. Strive to Survive the High Dive
3. Thrive on “Thrustration,” Take an “Incubation Vacation”
4. Design for Error and Opportunity, Exploration and Integration

From Individual Path to Interactive Platform:  Strengthening Performance and Partnership Methodology and Message

As mentioned, the foundational four steps are elaborated upon in the above linked article.  However, let’s transition to the next set of steps that build on this CRT base.  On one level the first four steps help an individual test out and begin to flex his or her resilient and creative risk-taking muscles.  Let’s call this the “path.”  The second set of four enables this individual (let’s say she’s a presenter) to strengthen her methodological efficiency (“do the right thing”) and effectiveness (“do the thing right”).  At the same time the second skillset sharpens message clarity and contrast.  This is the “process.”  And as I’m discovering, these seemingly small but highly meaningful steps or adaptations (“tweaks” sounds slightly de-meaning) have tangible consequences for energy and empathy, motivation and morale, engagement and connection, shared learning and partnering, as well as creative performance and output.

So what are the “second set” tools, techniques, and tactics?  For now, here are the four adaptive step labels:

A.  Less Is More…More or Less; and Play to Strengths
B.  Keep It Simple and Smart
C.  Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding; Be Out-Rage-ous Not Just “Out of the Box”
D.  Design an IC² Platform for Creative Play, Performance, and Partnering

You also might say the first four are akin to the “forest” and the following four comprise the “trees.”  The latter fill in and give nuance and shading to the big picture; these second set of micro-tools help you fulfill the vision-mission, e.g., as a presenter staging an experience that strengthens participant FIT-ness:  by generating a program that’s FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking.  The opening set gets you quickly into a resilient and risk-taking, exploratory and skill-building (sometimes “hell-bent on survival”) pathway, both for presenter and the audience.  A “first set” image comes to mind:  a risk-taking presenter jumping off a diving board, holding the hand of the audience, and taking them along for the splashdown.  (Hopefully, this is not a Jim Jones/“drinking the Kool-Aid” moment.)  Actually, the second set of strategic communication tools and techniques not only protect against a crash landing, these method-message stratagems enhance a sense of competence and trust.  Skills and confidence levels enhanced through peer interaction motivate an audience to climb the board again, ready to venture into another group exercise.  Mindfully blending path and process yields a more purposeful plan and platform that facilitates practice, performance, and partnership!

Medium, Method, and Message:  The Chance to be “Four-‘C’-ing”

The second package definitely refines the path through process, streamlining and sharpening the message. e.g., how ideas get shared and transformed in a variety of interactive channels.  Such media channels include:

1. a leader engaging with, a) an individual, b) a small group and/or c) the audience as a whole; whether presenting data verbally and/or visually, role modeling communication or leadership concepts or techniques, or singing a “Shrink Rap” ™, a definite risk-taking moment.  (Leading mostly interactive programs, I will bypass analyzing the use of Power Point Slides, only lingering long enough to note that slides can strengthen or suffocate audience engagement and learning.  This dynamic often depends on the “high tech or human touch” nature of the program, audience expectation, and a presenter’s slide usage. For example, problems may arise when, so attached to a slide show regimen, the presenter loses touch with his audience.), and

2. small groups engaging with, a) their own members, individually, as a subgroup, or as a whole, b) other individuals, including the leader, or with other groups, and/or c) the audience as a whole; having a chance to practice group interaction, that is, gradual sharing and risk-taking over a number of exercises typically enhances am evolving team’s capacity for partnership and problem-solving.

Over the years, I’ve come to appreciate that a speaker or group facilitator who is conscious and competent regarding self and systems (including cultural) dynamics as well as confident and calculating as a risk-taker (might we say one who is “four –‘c’-ing”?) has an array of performance and partnership variables to purposefully play and experiment with.  And according to Adam Gopnik, author of Angels and Ages:  A Short Book about Darwin, Lincoln, and Modern Life, this dynamic just may have Darwinian survival value:  Repetition is the law of nature but variation is the rule of life!

The Stress Doc’s Four Step Fine-tuning of Strategic Presentational Methods and Messages Tools and Techniques – Variations on Performance and Partnership Themes

It’s time to conceptually flesh out the aforementioned “second set” process-adaptive techniques and steps:

A.  Less Is More…More or Less; and Play to Strengths
B.  Keep It Simple and Smart
C.  Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding, Be Out-Rage-ous Not Just “Out of the Box”
D.  Design an IC² Platform for Creative Play, Performance, and Partnering

A.  Less Is More…More or Less; and Play to Strengths

In this day and digital age, capturing people’s attention amidst all the competing sources of data and diatribe, entertainment and excess is no small feat.  And then holding that ephemeral attention span borders on the extra-ordinary:  consider this feedback from a mix of Human Resource Managers and Professionals after an hour-long keynote:  Mark’s presentation was both “insightful and engaging”…. “very exciting and informative”…“very interactive and useful.”   He has a way of captivating the audience and makes them want to hear more… Mark Gorkin is a must hear!

1.  The Range, Reins, and Rewards of “Less Is More”

a.  Have an Initial Tight Program Outline and Be Ready to Let Go and Go with the Flow.  Especially when time is limited, taking up the “Less Is More”…More or Less” challenge is critical.  Hopefully, based on some preliminary discussion and research with event liaisons, you can whittle down your offering to three or four key conceptual areas of audience interest and need.  And even with this streamlined menu (“less is more”), when interactivity and spontaneity predominate, the overriding goal is to “go with audience flow.”  You may not get to all of your pre-planned agenda (hence, “more or less.”  Of course, when it comes to quantity and quality, sometimes less is less and more is more.  However, I recall reading of a succinct apology to a contemporary by one of those noted 18^th c. English scribes due to his verbiage in a correspondence:  I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to write a brief letter.


Remember, you can’t do it all, that is, another “more or less” exemplar; and perfection is an ideal if not an illusion.  Establishing boundaries sets limits; it also provides borders, challenges, and demarcations to be purposefully surveyed, surmounted, or surpassed.  With prescience and pith, acclaimed translator, James Falen, captures the power of constraint:

 

There are magic links and chains

Forged to loose our rigid brains,

Structures, structures, though they bind,

Strangely liberate the mind.

 

Finally, be prepared to improvise based on audience feedback, program time frame, setting and seating structure, i.e., are people around tables, in an auditorium, etc.  My “Less Is More” Mantra:  Plan for More, Discover what’s Best, and Toss the Rest!

b.  Make the Audience Part of the Show.  Hopefully, folks are so engaged in the learning-sharing-purposefully playing moment that they are not perturbed that some material has not been covered.  Let me elaborate.  I briefly sketched my “Four ‘P’s of Passion Power” Model – being Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful – as a way of introducing a final exercise.  This exercise, in fact, created a small group platform, for encouraging folks in surprising, if not startling, fashion to expressively emote by sharing personal stories.  Using both verbal and visual channels (there was a lot of spontaneous storytelling body language) the room was increasingly filled with a high octane buzz and knowing-affirming laughter.  Having a group share brief yet poignant personal stories, especially stories that reveal our imperfect, all-too human natures, quickly breaks down status barriers while enhancing a common humanity and stirring group camaraderie. And some competitive spirit is obvious when one team member says to a colleague who's just shared a story:  That was good...let me tell you what happened to me!

People were definitely doing some risk-taking, bringing out their IPP (Inner Passion Power).  Having noticed that the Chapter President was captivating his small group, I volunteered him to share his animated story to the entire congregation.  And an exercise debrief captured why this exercise is especially primed to help today’s leader appear more accessible and be a risk-taking role model.

So by letting go and going with the audience flow, we did not get to my closing segment on Developing Natural SPEED – Sleep, Priorities, Passion, Empathy, Exercise, and Diet.  However, one and all discovered the power of addition by subtraction.

c.  “Less Is More” Payoff.  And the payoff was three-fold.  First, we captured my IC² formula for “winning teams.”  As opposed to the questionable if not tired slogan, “There’s no “I” in team,” we brought to life a new mantra:  “There may be no ‘I’ in team…but there are two “I’s in WINNING”…and these “I”s definitely can “C.”   Winning teams blend Individual Creativity and Interactive Community!

Second, as mentioned above, I received a great testimonial, including these kind words from the coordinator of the Society of Human Resource Managers (SHRM) program:  We especially enjoyed his perspective on Passion and Power.

And last but not least, immediately after the program, this Program Chair invited me to return in two months to speak on Passion Power at the chapter’s annual conference.  Seems like providing less had them wanting more!

2.  “Less Is More” Means Being Pithy and Provocative, Palatable and Powerful

After you’ve selected the key program topic areas, the next challenge is to deliver the content in a manner that promotes the aforementioned FIT-ness:  the experience is FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking:

a. Introduce an Absorbing and Thought-Provoking Subject for Your Audience.  A catchy and pithy introductory title helps, for example, “The Four Stages of Burnout” or “Combat Strategies at the Burnout Battlefront.”  In a “TNT/3-D” world, most people can personally relate!

b) Break It Down and Make It Digestible.  Break down your concept into key or critical, readily identifiable pieces or examples; deliver the data or ideas with a substance and style that’s easy to take in – clear and concise, motivating and memorable – bullet-like components; two or three “smoke signal” examples for each stage will suffice:

1) Mental, Physical, and Emotional Exhaustion – e.g., you may be holding it together at work, but as soon as you get home, do you head for the fridge, get out the Haagen-Dazs and Ben & Jerry’s, turn on the tube, hit the sofa, and you’re comatose for the rest of the evening…or wish you could be?

2) Shame and Doubt – e.g., you sense you’re not your old self; you’re worried friends and colleagues are starting to notice; here’s a giveaway:  you’re considering joining the Stress Doc’s “Frequent Sighers Club”

3) Cynicism and Callousness – e.g., tired of feeling uncertain and vulnerable?  Have you put on your heavy attitude armor:  “No one’s getting to me,” “Look out for # 1,” “Why should I go out of my way?,”  “Are you talking to me!,” and “Who gives a d_ _ m!”; and in the short-run it works…you become abrasive enough, now people are avoiding you

4) Failure, Helplessness, and Crisis – e.g., you start thinking, “Damned if I do, damned if I don’t; damned if I stay, damned if I leave”; you feel like your coping structure’s coming unglued…next stop the Stress Doc’s couch!

c.. Present Info and Ideas in a “Scannable” Format.  When dealing with data overload, people want to take away important points without having to further strain their brain; make the message light and enlightening:  People are less defensive and more open to a serious message when gift-wrapped with humor!  Provide a supplemental handout for optional in-depth exploration at a later time.

4. “Less Is More” Means Emphasizing “How To” Strengths for Participants and Presenter.  Consider these three realms for displaying action steps and strengths:

a. Accentuate Action Over Analysis.  When time is of the essence and you must choose between delivering background information about a problem or issue (diagnostics) or “how to” ideas and action steps (therapeutics), streamline the former (as in the four burnout stages) and concentrate on problem–solving action and power.  As an example, I share the research-based “Four ‘C’s of Psychological Hardiness” (gleaned in the midst of the 1980s Ma Bell breakup).  During this turbulent transition, “hardiness” differentiated the more adaptive and healthy execs from their less functional counterparts.  The former demonstrated an understanding of positive Commitment, Control, Change, and Conditioning.  (Email for more info; perhaps confirming less just may have folks asking for more?  ;-)

b. Facilitate the Sharing of Strengths.  Here’s another tactic based on the unsurprising fact that most people in a workshop group find it easier to reveal strengths than vulnerabilities.  For example, I use a “Stress Building Beliefs” survey that asks about your aptitude in four belief areas:  “Control and Perfection, Competence and People Pleasing.”  Initially I had participants identify and share with team members one of the belief areas in which they felt the most vulnerable.  Too often members of a workgroup downplayed the extent that these were personal problem areas…for them (okay, especially those of the male variety).  I soon inverted the approach:  each team member selects one area in which they feel most proficient, e.g., “Perfection.”  The individual discloses how s/he evolved a degree of stress belief mastery, providing an example of resisting “perfection” along with a positive problem solving application.  The give and take energy, sharing and learning increased dramatically.  People will learn from one another’s strengths, especially when each person has a chance to be strong in their own way.

c. Recognize Generalist-Specialist Multiplicity and Mostly Play to Your Strength.  As your experience and skills evolve in leading and training, there will be a learning curve trial as you juggle various roles.  Being a diversified presenter means playing such roles as an educator, an entertainer, as well as an emotional expression and empathy energizer; for consistency, might we call this expressive-empathic energizer the “evangelist” role?  (Oh, oh…another acronym-sighting:  “Leading and Learning with “E”s:  Educate and Energize, Entertain and Evangelize…and, whenever possible, applying all concepts in group Exercise; actually, more on the value of acronyms and rhyme shortly.)  The challenge is not being one-dimensional: for while some consistency is useful, “rigid consistency,” according to the American Philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson, “is the hobgoblin of little minds.”  It seems that variety is the “spice” and “rule” of life, learning, and leading.

Still, when time is limited and the task is bounded, lead with your strengths.  If strongest as an “Educator,” let this be your trump suit or default position.  However, even if only for a short trial, inject one or two of the other “E”-roles in your presentation.  Be unpredictable; defy expectations.  Not only do you capture people’s attention and generate on the edge anticipation, pleasurable surprise releases pain-reducing and pleasure-enhancing brain chemicals like endorphins and dopamine.  And the continuous practice and expansion of range and repertoire builds one’s risk-taking and performance muscles.  Also, you achieve finer and finer definition especially as you evaluate and integrate audience feedback, that hard-earned source of adaptive wisdom.  Finally, as a risk-taking and variety generating role model, you are also illuminating an evolutionary, multifaceted mind-mood-muscle skill path for your audience.  As Dr. Jonas Salk, a founder of the polio vaccine, observed:  Evolution is about getting up one more time than you fall down; being courageous one more time than being fearful; trusting just one more time than being anxious!   Amen and women to that!

Part II will flesh out the remaining three Process Steps.
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Human Resources Palm Beach County, FL (HRPBC; SHRM affiliate); Developing Stress Resilience, Humor, and Passion Power:  The Gift of Interactive Engagement; Human Resources Chapter Kickoff Speaker; 100 attendees; 1.25 hrs

Feb 27, 2014


Hello Mark.

HR Palm Beach County had the wonderful pleasure of having Mark Gorkin “The Stress Doc” present at one of our monthly dinner meetings. Mark’s presentation was both insightful and engaging. He has a way of captivating the audience and makes them want to hear more. We enjoyed his insights on the factors that cause stress and how to overcome them. We hope to hear more from “The Stress Doc”. It was definitely time well spent. We especially enjoyed his perspective on Passion and Power. Mark Gorkin is a must hear!

Tanya Vaughn-Patterson
HRPBC Program Chair

Diversity & Inclusion Consultant
NEXTERA ENERGY
Ofc: 561-694-4199
tanya.vaughn-patterson@fpl.com
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Hi.  Your presentation was very exciting and informative.  Thank you.  Yes, you may include me on your newsletter. 

I look forward to seeing you in May. 

Joyce Fenhaus, PHR
Human Resources Business Partner
Holy Cross Hospital
1000 NE 56th Street
Ft. Lauderdale, FL  33334

Joyce.Fenhaus@holy-cross.com
(954) 267-6881
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Thanks for your inspiring talk!  I really enjoyed it. 

I will certainly keep you in mind if an opportunity arises where we could use your expertise.

Regards,

Sheri

Sheri Resnick, PHR
Human Resources Analyst
The Scripps Research Institute, Scripps Florida
130 Scripps Way, 3B2
Jupiter, Florida 33458

sresnick@scripps.edu
Office:  (561) 228-2064
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Thiel College; "Building Winning Teams: Blending Individual Creativity and Interactive Community"; Semester Kickoff for 120 Faculty and Staff; 2 hrs

Feb 9, 2014

Dear Mark,

I just wanted to write a sincere note of thanks for your recent program at Thiel College, "Building Winning Teams: Blending Individual Creativity and Interactive Community."  The task force responsible for planning this event was delighted by the overwhelming amount of positive feedback we heard from our faculty and staff that participated.  The program was a lot of fun, and our employees benefited greatly from participating.  It was truly the perfect kick-off to a new semester, and we hope to bring you back in the near future.

Our participants especially appreciate how interactive the program was, and it was energizing to start the semester with so much laughter.  We could not have imagined the program going any better.

I highly recommend The Stress Doc to any organizations looking for an exceptional motivational speaker, especially if they are hoping for a strong dose of humor!

Best Regards,

Mike McKinney '02, Vice President of Student Life
THIEL COLLEGE I 75 College Avenue I Greenville, PA I 16125
724-589-2066 (o) I 724-456-4077 (m)
mmckinney@thiel.edu
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Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.