Recently
I led a one-day team building retreat for two city government divisions. This is the fourth or fifth time I have led
retreats or workshops over the past five years for these divisions. As evidenced by the first two testimonials, once
again, all had a rich and fun learning-sharing experience. However, perhaps most important, there were
follow-up strategic steps, for both preserving the spirit of the retreat and
for tangibly building upon its foundation.
(See the third, June 2nd, testimonial.)
Community
Services-Wells Robertson, Gaithersburg, MD City Govt;
"Teaming, Timing, and Unleashing Our Talent: A Stress and Team
Resilience Retreat," 1-day
May 28, 2015
Thank you Mark for a wonderful presentation on Friday. Your knowledge and
energy were inspiring and the day was a lot of fun too! I really
appreciate your ability to engage everyone in the room in an enjoyable and
productive way.
We enjoy working with you and appreciate your flexibility and friendship.
Take care and hope to work with you again soon.
Maureen Herndon
Division Manager
Community Services
City of Gaithersburg
301-258-6395 ex 1
------------
Mark I concur. I have not heard anything but good feedback about the retreat,
although I am not the least bit surprised. You are a 10 good buddy!
Jimmy Frazier-Bey
Division Manager of Homeless Services
City of Gaithersburg
(301)
258-6398 (Main line)
-----------
June
2, 2015
Hi Mark,
It was nice meeting you too. It seems the team definitely had a good gathering
and came away with some fresh ideas and desire to bring about change for both
staff and the people we serve. We were discussing the retreat in staff meetings
yesterday.
Although it has been a few years since I have worked there, I think the
Montgomery County Coalition for the Homeless could definitely benefit from your
services. I am not sure who the point of contact would be but I am sure it can
be found on their web site www.mcch.net.
Everyone here at Wells/Robertson and Community Services has been incredibly
welcoming. It was especially nice to end my first week at the
retreat. Hearing staff voice their issues and also being able to see the way
staff interact with each other has been helpful for me to get to know the
team.
Thank you and take care,
Lee
ljansky@gaithersburgmd.gov
Intake
Supervisor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Setting and
"C"-ing the Learning-Sharing Ambiance
I suspect the "Get FIT" -- FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking -- individual and group learning-sharing framework,
tone, and energy of the one-day program was established within the first hour. Key start-up components included:
a) summarizing the previous retreat's compelling "communicating
with authority" opening group exercise; in addition to refreshing
memories, there were several new employees attending the present retreat
b) my sharing a newfound appreciation for the dynamics and value
of "interdependency" based on a first time experience speaking and
interacting with a distinctly diverse cultural group
c) another unprecedented learning experience: reflecting on a very recent "live
in" coaching opportunity with a long-time friend grappling with major
depression; one outcome: a better
understanding of the essence of building a healing partnership
d) an opening exercise that asked small groups to engage in
"individual reflection before collective brainstorm" to generate
varying definitions of team; this helped illuminate the concept of "synergy"
and facilitated pinpointing two concrete arteries for "head and
heart" team development
e) generating a synthesis of "Consciousness" and
"Communication" as well as "Creativity" and
"Community" for strengthening resilience
and collaboration.
As I reflect upon this list, to be illustrated momentarily, two
aptitudes crystallize critical to shaping the retreat learning objectives along
with its "Get FIT" structure and rhythm, substance and style: a capacity
for stress- and team-resilience consciousness
and a capacity for give-and-take communication.
But let's not stop at these two "C"s. Another overall facilitating if not
philosophical agent is my personal IC2
mantra about teaming.
Basically, I challenge the old saw:
"There's no 'I" in team."
While on its face discouraging self-centered egotism, for me, this group
gospel can too easily morph into suppressing self-integrity and encouraging
blind loyalty. There's potential for an anti-diversity
if not an Orwellian sense of group-speak homogeneity. Reminds me of the Stress Doc's "Law of
the Loyalty Loop & Lock": Those who never want you to answer back
always want you to back their answer!
And as we'll see shortly, forever holding up any (at least human) authority
or guiding principle on a rigid or unquestioned pedestal, may well invite
serious trouble. So here's my challenging
proposition:
While there may be no "I" in team...There are two "I"s in WINNING.
And these "I"s can "C":
Winning teams blend Individual Creativity and Interactive
Community!
Illuminating the
Foundational Five
To truly capture some of the purposeful and passionate, individual
and interactive IC2
atmosphere, let me briefly describe and analyze the initial five learning and
sharing concepts and activities of the retreat.
In particular, notice my attempt to encourage a "Four 'C'-ing"
process: cultivating
"Consciousness" and "Communication" along with
"Creativity" and "Community."
1. Communicating with Authority Study. The previous
retreat opened with a commercial case history outlined by Malcolm Gladwell in
his best-selling book, Outliers. In the 1980s, the Korean and Columbian
Airlines were experiencing an inordinately large number of fatal accidents, way
above the industrial average. After technological problems were ruled out,
a cultural connection was discovered.
The critical factor it turns out was who was flying the plane -- the
senior or junior pilot. (The retreat
exercise involved small groups deciding who was flying the plane at the time of
the fatal accident and why was this significant for solving the safety
dilemma.) Challenging the obvious, the
senior pilot was steering the craft. And
the lethal flaw: these cultures
venerated seniority and authority. Upon
sensing early signs of danger, the junior pilot hesitated instead of
immediately issuing a strong warning.
And if he did finally call out, it was often too late: out of the clouds...a side of a
mountain! The safety monitors discovered
that the navigator was restrained by such dysfunctional-cultural beliefs as: a) he would come across as being disrespectful,
b) the older, more experienced pilot must know what he's doing, and/or c) it
wasn't his role to correct or criticize his elder partner (if in the unlikely
sense the less senior pilot identified himself as a partner; nor in this
status-conscious culture was he likely recognized as such). And the hypothetical proof was in the
performance pudding: as cited by
Gladwell, at least for the Korean Airlines, once trained in Western
assertiveness skills, lethal accidents plummeted and the airline's safety
record matched the industry's statistical standard.
Not
surprisingly, once again the retreat message was loud and clear: how do we create an atmosphere where everyone
on the team or in a division feels free to speak their mind, to dissent or disagree
(hopefully, without being all-knowingly or condescendingly disagreeable) and, certainly,
to express a different viewpoint with all levels of authority? And surely this study addresses issues spanning
our generational-digital divide. (Or as
I once penned, Don't be afraid to pet the
dinosaur!)
Of
course, acknowledgement does not necessarily
mean agreement, but individuals wish to know they've had an honest
hearing. A passive colleague, the
absence of timely feedback and open discussion invites error and serious
disruption. And will surely impede or
erode any sense of trust. Clearly
there's a price to pay if and when an organization's culture (akin to a
nation's) places the idea of authority, conventional wisdom, or guiding
principle on a rigid, unquestioned, and soundproof pedestal.
2. Dynamics and Value of Integrity and Interdependency,
Humor and Courage. Building on the importance of open and
reciprocal communication, I shared a powerfully moving experience that occurred
this
past fall working with the Texas State Govt Division of Blind Services. About a third of the 120 attendees were blind
or near-blind employees. I’ve not
previously had such an immersion experience in this distinct culture. Three eye- and mind-opening experiences stood
out in the realm of interpersonal communication and trust-building. (And yes, the word "eye-opening"
was a conscious choice.):
a)
how a blind woman quickly sensed my "fish out of water" discomfort in
a casual social situation and encouraged me to be myself and just speak up. “Don’t be afraid to use words like ‘see’ or
‘blind.’ Speak as you normally would…and
if you’re not sure about something, ask questions.” Her insight and guidance definitely helped
break the ice and relaxed my mind.
b)
the use of playful aggression or teasing in all manner of relations, but
especially between the blind person and his or her sited guide. This good-natured "in your face"
interaction helps place these individuals on a more equal verbal footing despite
visible differences (actually, maybe because of them). Such bantering blurs physical and status disparities,
and both parties are able to better appreciate and realize the value of a back-and-forth
emotional partnership.
Humor
is also used with non-sighted or limited-sight peers, for example, frequently
reminding one another to “watch where you poke that guide stick.” And the sighted don't escape their
observational powers and clever tongue: when
walking with their guide stick on a crowded street, most people nervously and
quickly step aside or scatter as if the oncoming tapping was a fire engine blasting
its horn…or the non- or limited-sighted individual becomes a Moses parting the
Red Sea! Clearly, these men and women have
done some “head work, heart work, and homework” to achieve this level of
comfort in their own skin. (A few days
after the conference, I shared my cultural experience with a former Army First
Sergeant who certainly had seen his share of battlefield casualties. His immediate response: “They owned
their disability!”)
Actually,
these folks use of self-effacing humor reminds me of a wonderful quote from
Ernst Kris, psychiatrist as well as student of Freudian psychology and
humor: What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at. And as the Stress Doc inverted: What
was once feared and is now laughed at is no longer a master! Humor as a tool for affirming integrity and
facilitating social parity.
c) the
final "Blind Services" learning lab proved to be a madcap/multi-GPS
car ride to a BBQ restaurant; it truly was worthy of a scene from a Marx
Brothers movie. Carol, the driver of the
car and I were up front, while Anne (my original mentor) and Billy, a
sharp-witted gentleman in his fifties with a refined Southern drawl, were
talking up a storm in the back. The madness
reached its peak when we appeared to be lost.
Carol asked me to check her Smart Phone’s directional GPS, while Anne
and Billy were doing the same with their audio GPS systems. People are calling out wildly different route
options. While I was fumbling around
with Carol’s phone, not making much headway, and knowing how far I am from a
technology maven, a thought suddenly arose:
What we have here is the technically
blind leading the blind! Alas, I was
unable to spontaneously voice this… However, the next morning, during my
opening keynote remarks, I shared our road trip story, including my
self-conscious/self-censored quote. The
audience’s laughter was palpable.
Finally, I thanked one and all, especially Anne, for: a) being so welcoming and encouraging me to find
my genuine voice, b) awakening me to the integrity and richness of the blind
and sight-impaired community and c) helping me better appreciate the array of personalities
and communication styles therein.
3. Live-In Coaching and a Healing Partnership. The third leg of my
relationship-building platform
involved an individual grappling with a non-visible, often silent
disability. I briefly reflected on my
recent "live-in" experience helping a long-time friend struggling
with major depression. And as previously
noted, "Consciousness" and "Communication" are vital
components for building a bridge between individual resilience and intimate
collaboration.
a. Doing Honest Self-Inventory...Leading to Synergy
-- assess individual and team strengths and vulnerabilities for "high task
and human touch" intervention. To
have depth and breadth, a resilience inventory takes both personal courage and
interpersonal feedback. This necessary
first step helps differentiate the ideal or illusion from the real or
achievable. Can we bravely look into the
gap between the theoretical and the actual, between ability and disability, between
future possibility and present, down to earth, "what we can realistically
achieve right now" perspective? And
might we grapple with assessment anger or angst without feeling so diminished, despairing,
enraged, helpless, or bereft...or seek appropriate
support if engulfed by the latter?
((For example, my depressed friend seemed to cycle between holding on to
a miracle cure (though his meds were not producing the once achieved rebound
effect) to despairing of ever being his old self. Not fully owning his current disability
hampered motivation to discover small but meaningful rehab and recovery steps
at his design or disposal.))
More pivotal questions:
has something significant changed within our person or situation that is
effecting our ability to manage, adapt to, or engage with our bio-psychosocial
ecology? To what extent have we
contributed to meaningful gaps and shifts?
Can we use both heart and head to authentically examine the breach, to
contemplate a new trial and error learning curve? If so, then a shortcoming or blunder is not
an omen of shame or failure. It's more a transitional space for skill-building
or adding needed resources, for creatively and courageously exploring an
uncertain or troublesome psychic or physical territory; for discovering whether
you can reduce a learning gap; perhaps it's time to venture into a new arena. However, a capacity for "letting
go" is critical; not necessarily forsaking dreams and goals but accepting that
there may be a fluid mix between disappointment and excitement. Being at a loss often means meandering
anxiously or grappling with momentary defeat.
Still, wandering in the desert is a time-honored way of stumbling upon a
subterranean spring; but especially of uncovering one's own hidden oases. This "dark night of the soul" is
often an uncertain if not agonizing interlude, a prerequisite for illumination
if not rebounding; a period of incubation for designing or discovering a fresh,
even unchartered perspective, pathway, and plan of attack.
And by definition, a team retreat is a time and space to
step back and reassess; an uncommon opportunity for personal and collaborative
reflection if not group imagination and innovation. For me a retreat is synonymous with synergy:
not only does this blank canvas with its free-flowing communicational
space spur "a whole greater than the sum of its parts" but, even more
magical...in a true sharing-learning lab parts
have the potential to become vital partners!
b. Designing Structure and Sharing -- generate operational
structure that establishes a purposeful goal, facilitates control while also
allowing time and space for give-and-take feedback and meaningful
problem-solving. The best example was
our initiating a half-hour brisk early morning "walk and talk." This activity helped us both intentionally
rise and rapidly focus, mentally anticipate and structure our day, as well as
discuss any looming problematic issues.
Clearly, the retreat's use of several interactive exercises speak to the
importance of structured focusing and sharing, supporting and strategizing.
c. Surmounting Stigma of Dependency -- recognize that it
can be difficult for many people to reach out and ask
for help, perhaps fearing that a knowledge or skill gap may be revealed,
thereby triggering those "critical voices." My strategy:
engaging in candid and courageous two-way discussion, asking my friend
direct questions about his needs and preferences, frustrations and anxieties. (So
too sharing my own personal concerns and quandaries.) I'm a big believer in asking "good questions"
and exploring various options, especially before making suggestions or giving
advice. For me a good question is a hallmark
of "respect": paying careful attention to a person's lived
experience, emotional framework, and world view. Valuing another's ideas or perspective can be
a powerful tool for reducing status differences. The implicit "open and humble"
message: I want to hear your thinking on this issue; I may learn something. Finally, to reduce the onus of
"dependency," we have also employed some of the playful bantering
illustrated in my brief "blind culture" travels. We seem to be evolving toward that "give
and take," open to difference state of healthy interdependence, essential for trust-building
as well as interpersonal and productive team relating.
4. Defining and Modeling "Team Exercise". I wanted to illustrate the
concept of "team" by having small groups come up with a
definition. I also varied the task for
each unit: a) one group was to define
"team," b) the second illustrated a "high performing, high
support, and morale-building team," and c) the final group, a "CS-Wells
high performing, high support, and morale-building team." Our definitions went from the general to the
specific. Another purposeful
wrinkle: I wanted the individuals in
each group to come up with his or her own definition before engaging in the
collective definitional brainstorm.
Research suggests this two-step process maximizes brainstorming results. And true to my hypothesis, the definition of
team both expanded and captured more discrete components as the groups'
dialogue evolved from general to specific.
In each case, the definitions had a synergistic quality; the
resultant group definition was conceptually richer and more insightful than any
one members' semantic scribble. Perhaps
most important, two concepts were found in a majority of the groups: stress
resilience and honest collaboration!
The exercise also sparked a critical question from an experienced
employee: "We all agree that honesty
and openness are vital...but how do we really achieve them?"
My first response: creating
a safe atmosphere and opportunity for genuine dialogue around important communication
channels and conflict issues. I then
showed a Power Point Slide on Building
Team Resilience -- The Magnificent
Seven: Helmet’s Off & Hands On. Let
me summarize key open team communication and trust-building structures and
strategies:
1)
Wavelength Segment:
setting aside ten minutes in agenda-driven task-oriented meetings for
factors positively and/or negatively impacting emotional communication-conflict
and team coordination; key is to gradually evolve a "helmet's office"
atmosphere where status distinctions do not inhibit idea or emotional
expression or determine the value of shared ideas or information; the goal is
the opposite of groupthink
2)
Two Hats: team leader
wears a member hat not just a managerial one; ironically, this helps
facilitates helmet's off, no rank in
the room discussion,
3)
Rotate Facilitators:
instead of the supervisor running the meeting, employee team members
lead the meeting on a rotational basis; the peer leader meets with the
supervisor and other team members to help set the agenda; supervisor gains new
leadership perspective as participant-observer; this "hands on"
role-learning often increases employee ownership-responsibility, participation,
and commitment to meeting success,
4)
"Morning Quickie":
finding a morning time when all or most can gather for a five-minute
huddle to discuss late-breaking news or unexpected developments, reaffirm
schedules and plans, to share a funny story, and for starting the day with a
"we're all in this together" mindset,
5)
Organizational IRAs & Career/Team Planning: a Branch manager at the National Institutes
of Health (NIH) had a potent idea for solidifying her relationship with
individual team members and with branch employees
as a whole. Twice a year she had a
barbeque at her house; the primary objective:
How can I help you advance your career!,
6)
Manage Stress Carriers; Build-in Ongoing Rejuvenation and Connection: two resilience fostering and idea/cross-team-building
interventions:
a. it's vital that leaders not ignore
dysfunctional performers and team members; nor should these leaders ask other
team members to "just focus on your job"; such a "blind
eye" or avoidance strategy allows a virus to fester with the potential to
corrupt all manner of people, programs, and operations; also, a leader's
credibility with her people is on the line; both documentation of a problematic
pattern and a "soft referral" to, for example, the Employee
Assistance Program (EAP), are the ideal way to proceed
b. a monthly pizza party, for example,
is a great venue both for some "R & R" but also for creative
cross-pollination, hopefully encouraging people and programs that don't often
meet to have some fruitful mind-melding, and
7)
When to Call On a Stress Resilience/Team Conflict Guide: periodically, interpersonal or team issues or
conflicts arise that require a level of
experience and expertise beyond a supervisor or manager's domain; this is when
the savvy leader consults with HR or an EAP Consultant and/or looks for an
outside Stress Resilience & Team Coordination Consultant; he or she knows
to seek counsel and expand team resources and, ultimately, the problem-solving and
emotionally supportive potential of the team.
5. Putting the Four 'C'-ing" Process Together: Cultivating "Consciousness" and
"Communication" along with "Creativity" and "Community." Finally, just about at the hour mark, we
launched into an group exercise that spoke to the earlier, heartfelt question
about fostering interpersonal organizational openness as well as the general
concern about managing workplace stress, also noted in the opening "team
definition" exercise,: a) identify
real workplace barriers to stress resilience and honest collaboration, and b)
role-play a scenario that both captures the selected conflict issues and
demonstrates some possible problem-solving bridges. Suffice to say this released both
"individual and interpersonal theatricality and creativity," along
with considerable knowing laughter.
Combined with the audience responding analytically and emotionally to
each of the workplace skits, we also were nurturing meaningful
"interactive community." The IC2 model and method was
coming to life!
Closing Summary
An "inspiring" team building retreat that "was also
a lot of fun" along with igniting "some fresh ideas and
desire to bring about change for both staff and the people we serve" spurred this analysis of the initial five learning and
sharing retreat concepts and activities. In particular, the first hour generated
"Four 'C'-ing" energy and framework, introducing concepts and group
exercises that challenged participants to explore
"Consciousness-Communication-Creativity-Community." Specifically, the foundational five were:
1. Communicating with
Authority Study
2. Dynamics and Value of
Integrity and Interdependency, Humor and Courage
3. Live-In Coaching and a
Healing Partnership
4. Defining and Modeling
"Team Exercise"
5. Putting the Four
'C'-ing" Process Together"
From the importance of speaking truth to authority and the
criticality of give-and-take interdependence to helping participants identify
barriers to stress resilience and collaboration, and then act out
problem-solving bridges, the IC2
mantra dominated our morning:
Winning teams blend Individual Creativity and Interactive
Community!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW,
"The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote speaker and
"Motivational Humorist" known for interactive, inspiring and FUN
programs for government agencies & major corporations. The Doc is a
training and Stress Resilience Consultant for The Hays Companies, an
international corporate insurance and wellness broker. He has
also led “Resilience, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of
the Armed Services. A
former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service,
Mark is the author of Practice Safe
Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Resiliency
Rap. For more info on the Doc's
"Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter,
email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
