"Cutting-Edge" Strategies for Reorganizing or Downsizing: The Stress Doc's Top Ten Tips for Tip-Top Management

Warning: This satire may be hazardous to the ironically impaired.

In this era of organizational restructuring or downsizing, or better still, rightsizing, or most on target, what I call "frightsizing," the challenge for top management is having the savvy and guts to gut much of your workforce while still maintaining survivor productivity and team morale - that "esprit de corpse." While some advocate a market- or politics-driven streamlining, I believe in a higher-level, visionary downsizing mode. To create a "lean-and-MEAN" working machine requires an Olympian management team capable of thunderously jolting a downtrodden, de-motivated workforce and being down-to-earth, "hands-on" role models. (Oh yes, in these hypersensitive, politically correct times, just be careful where you place those hands. If you have any questions, please refer to Mitsubishi's manual of personnel policies and procedures.)

Be Wary: Some critics will claim that these forthcoming strategies produce less "lean-and-mean" operations and more "lean-and-mean-spirited" organizations. Ignore such softheaded, liberal posturing. Now for your cutting-edge commandments. Go for it! The Top Ten Commandments:

1. Keep Employees Grateful and Humble. Continuously remind employee survivors that they should be thankful to have a job. By not filling those vacant positions, there's less competition for eventual promotions, assuming, of course, there's not another RIF - Reduction In Force - that, of course, is very unlikely. (Even if there is a RIF, and some employees manage to survive it, then surely they will have to be uncomplainingly thankful.) For recalcitrant, insufficiently grateful employees, some cheerfully designed signs - "thank you for not whining" and "beware the effects of second-hand whining" - may be prominently displayed in the work and break areas.

2. Avoid Negative Feelings through Positive Motivation. Hire a hotshot outplacement team to motivate people to ignore their feelings of betrayal, fear, and rage and to generate employee enthusiasm and positive thinking about updating their resumes, leaving the organization, or applying for positions in economically- and demographically-challenged areas. Reassure confused and vulnerable employees that a change of job or an out-of-state position is the new learning curve they've probably needed. At minimum, this will help them escape that seven-year or seven-month itch (whether they know they need to scratch or not). Hey, it's so prehistoric, so "p.b." - pre-boomer - to work for twenty or thirty years in one place.

3. Separate the Transitionally Displaced. Create a transition center for the dispirited who no longer have a job (but are still on payroll) that removes them from the rest of the company. (And don't let anyone mistake this center for a leper colony; the displaced are ill-fated, not contagious.) Without distractions, these isolates will focus expeditiously on their future career plans. An additional benefit to quarantining: with these folks out of sight, they'll also be out of mind, i.e., other employees would never suspect that such a treatment might happen to them.

4. Beware the "Blame Game." Refuse to hold management-employee team building/group grieving sessions; open expression of feelings just makes management the target of another "bitch session." (Please do not impute any sexist connotation to either open blabbing or the aforementioned "b"-word. These days, being a strong, silent John Wayne- or Rambo-type is not just a male thing. There are plenty of Rambettes out there.)

5. Don't Get Predictable. Keep information about the restructuring as vague and inconsistent as possible. In fact, the more disinformation the better. A certain amount of uncertainty heightens group competition and, hopefully, will disorient your best people and/or discourage them from leaving (until you think it's appropriate, especially if they may be a threat to your own tenured position).

6. Demonstrate Decisive Displacement. Have new managers rapidly fill some of the positions of displaced managers, especially those managers who were well respected; people don't need to dwell morbidly on the past. On a more positive note, this transition-transfusion also provides a real opportunity for new blood. (Of course, one hopes we are speaking figuratively here. You might want to have escorts, though, for these new managers as they leave work.)

7. Instill the Spirit of Overload and Accommodation. Make sure middle managers and supervisors appear to accept cheerfully "doing more with less," even if their employees feel that they are at the breaking point. Low morale, heightened staff tension, and anger or especially that self-serving term "burnout," are not sufficient counterindicators to "sucking it up"; nor is psychobabble about psychosomatic, stress-induced illness acceptable. (Cardiac arrest, however, continues to be grounds for excused leave.)

And don't let any of those wimpy stress experts tell you "Burnout is less a sign of failure and more that you gave yourself away." Remember, a manager or supervisor who selflessly takes on an ever-expanding workload without renegotiating priorities and time frames is an icon of company loyalty and dedication. Such a role model will surely inspire even surly subordinates to meet the plantation's, I mean the organization's, new goals.

8. Consider Token Team Building. If in a careless moment you do allow employees or supervisors to form support/work productivity teams that meet on company time, shortly thereafter insist that the company can't afford to have this many people away from their assignments or work stations. Reduce the size by half; especially eliminate any indigenous leaders. If this small matrix group is to meet sporadically, they must provide only positive ideas; your mood should not be disturbed in order to pacify others' upsets or egos. And while giving lip service to dilettante democracy, expect absolute buy-in for your ever-evolving company vision. (Or is it a hallucination? So often it's such a fine line.) Eventually retire the group with gilt framed team-building certificates.

9. Create Social Diversions. Plan a company picnic, a Christmas dinner party, or some diversionary event for your beleaguered "survivor shock" employees. When not enough people sign up (or refuse to contribute a potluck dish), send an e-mail saying that regretfully, because of lack of employee interest, the party had to be canceled. You can also organize a committee to discover the reasons why people didn't sign up. The results should be forwarded to the above-mentioned token support team for prompt and decisive action.

10. Retreat Reorganizationally from Reality. Avoid a sustained relationship with a consultant trained in reorganizational crisis, conflict, loss, and grief work, as this intervention will surely make things worse. You know because you once attended one of those touchy-feely retreats where they even made people briefly hug one another. Or you heard about a workshop facilitator who used a "let it all hang out" encounter-group-like method on a law firm retreat with thirty litigators. Big surprise…The workshop turned into a primal attack/scream session and people didn't speak to one another for the next six months. (So the retreat was a wash; there probably had been too much socializing around the company coffee machine anyway. Or maybe it was just one of those retreats where people took their vows of silence to heart.)

A sure sign that you're dealing with a true consulting superstar: this leader will totally work out all those minor post-restructuring adjustment problems in a weekend retreat. In addition, on the same reorganizational retreat, such a stellar management coach, if you act right away, should offer to place a big positive motivational bandage on all pre-crisis dysfunctional work relationships, at no extra cost. If you do dismiss the retreat approach, there still is a safe, effective image-enhancing option: send a couple of key personnel on a three-day "team building" workshop. Then you can answer "affirmative" if anyone asks whether yours is a team-based operation.

In conclusion, if you or your executive management team has the courage and foresight to enact one or more of these cutting-edge strategies, please let me know. As a reorganizational consultant, I certainly aspire to work with such a visionary, progressively "lean -and-MEAN" upper management team. I understand loneliness at the top. And believe me, you'll need all the help you can get!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions and Brigades, Ft. Hood, Texas and Ft. Leonard Wood, MO. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

The Dynamics of Creative Leadership-Partnership: Forces and Concepts for Transforming Change and Conflict into Creativity and Community

What does it take to be a creative leader? I definitely have been giving this some thought, developing and increasingly applying three programs in the past two years:

<> “Transforming Change and Conflict into ‘Passion Power’: The Art of Inspiring Leadership”
<> “Does Your Organization Need a Jolt of CPR – Generating Creativity, Passion and Risk-Taking”
<> “A Leader’s Greatest Gift – TLCs: Inspiring Trust, Laughter and Creative Collaboration”

A variety of companies and organizations have experienced the leadership programs – each program also having a strong team building component – from the IT department at Booz Allen Hamilton and members of the IT leadership staff in the Dept. of Commerce to senior officers and senior sergeants for US Army support commands and brigades at Ft. Hood and Ft. Leonard Wood.

While many variables are involved, for now let’s consider “Four Fertile and Flowing Forces of Creative Leadership and Partnership”:

1) Designing an expanded conception of team,
2) Harnessing the interrelationship between “creativity,” “conflict” and “change,”
3) Extolling a motivational mindset, and
4) Experiencing the connection between complexity and creativity.

1. Designing an Expanded Conception of Team. You may have heard this common motivational poster-type saying: “There’s no “I” in team.” For me, that’s not sufficient. Consider this amendment: “There may be no ‘I’ in team…but there are two ‘I’s (and ‘eyes’) in winning.” From a linguistic perspective, the two winning “I”s refer to teams that encourage both “individual integrity” and “imaginative interactivity.” (Hey, I wear glasses: two “I”s readily become four “I”s. And an ability to employ self-effacing humor is a key leadership tool. See below.) The challenge of creative leadership is to facilitate relationships and environments that both encourage and expand individual perception, skills and opportunity while building a mindful and heart-filled interactive community.

In fact, when leader and group foster vibrant, give and take communication, then individual difference and member diversity become the fertile ground for uncommon collaboration and enriched integration. I recall a problem-solving study with submarine personnel. Invariably, the most diverse teams came up with the most creative solutions. Of course, diversity-driven problem-solving may be less efficient (it usually takes non-homogeneous individuals more time to reach consensus or get on the same page) but, remember, it’s often more effective. The tension among the individuals as well as between an individual and the group, paradoxically, may generate an expanded whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. For example, think of a well-performed concerto in classical music, with its vital interplay between the soloist and the orchestra (as well as harmonizing among the distinctive sounds of the orchestral sections). Clearly, when a team is flowing with synergy, parts transform into vital partners.

And returning to our “winning” expression, from a poetic perspective, the two “eyes” refer to a capacity to “look back” and reflect on past experience as well as an ability to springboard from the past and “look ahead,” that is, to imagine, explore and/or design a future. Of course, the new or unexpected, to quote an attendee commenting on a recent closing “CPR” program, may be “shockingly different.”

2. Harnessing the Interrelationship between "Creativity," "Conflict" and "Change." A “cutting edge leader” recognizes the reciprocal relationship between “change and conflict”: major change often stirs up personal and interpersonal-group conflict and major conflict often challenges parties to “let go” of the tried and (perhaps, once) true.” And significant transition and tension may compel you to problem-solve anew if not innovatively adapt. So dynamic leadership must confront and harness the energy and precious opportunity (while appreciating the potential danger) found in “change and conflict.”

While Shakespeare’s exhortation may be extreme, “There is a tide in the affairs of men which taken at the flood leads on to fortune…omitted all the voyages of their lives are bound in shallows and in miseries,” creative leadership must recognize the transformative – progress or regress – juncture of change and conflict. For example, the 19th century pragmatic philosopher and “Father of Public Education,” John Dewey clearly recognized “conflict” as a change agent, potentially influencing both creativity and community:

Conflict is the gadfly of thought. It stirs us to observation and memory. It shocks us out of sheep-like passivity. It instigates to invention and sets us at noting and contriving. Conflict is the sine qua non of reflection and ingenuity.

3. Extolling a Motivational and Mirthful Mindset. A passage from Adam Gopnik’s recent publication, Angels and Ages: A Short Book about Darwin, Lincoln and Modern Life (Alfred A. Knopf, 2009) captured my imagination: “Repetition is the law of nature but variation is the rule of life.” That is, in the long run creatures most fit for survival are not necessarily the “strongest” (by sheer physical strength). No, superior fitness evolves for the species (and in my model the leader-partner team) that best responds to or harmonizes with the various dynamic forces in a changing-challenging environment thereby developing novel, even a bit strange, yet ultimately effective adaptation traits and uncommon problem-solving capacity. Surely this is another formula for becoming a “winning leader-partner team.”

And my new motivational mantra definitely reflects this notion of survival. Actually, I want more than “variation.” Are you ready for “deviation?” Let’s push the creative envelope or, at least, the creative adage. My mantra is not content to simply “think out of the box.” No, to be cutting edge “Think Out of the Box, Perform Outside the Curve – the Bell Curve, (though when deviating significantly from the norm sometimes you risk performing Inside The Bell Jar) and Be Out-Rage-ous!”

And I especially like to be playfully “Out-Rage-ous,” by following the conceptual footsteps of a great American humorist. Mark Twain illustrated a notion of mind play that captures a desired motivational (and deviational) mindset for a cutting-edge leader. Talking about “wit,” Twain’s vivid descriptor gets to the head and heart of being a thought-provoking motivator: “the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation!”

Perhaps not so surprisingly, in his groundbreaking work on Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman has found that the best managers – those effective and innovative problem-solvers and motivators – use humor three times more than their less talented peers. And as I once penned: “People are more open to a serious message when it is gift-wrapped with humor!” We are now ready to connect theoretically the seemingly unconnected and to practice my “thinking, perceiving and being” motivational mantra.

4. Experiencing the Connection between Cognitive Complexity and Creativity. To determine if the audience is ready to walk the “Creative Leadership” talk, I lead them through a thought-provoking and, possibly, unsettling exercise. The exercise was inspired by the research of Dr. Albert Rothenberg, as reported in his book The Emerging Goddess: Creativity in the Sciences and the Arts. (The title evokes the mythic imagery of Athena, Greek goddess of both war and creativity, being born from the head of her almighty father, Zeus.) This Yale Psychiatrist and Cognitive Psychologist found that subjects who responded with more opposites or antonyms in a word association test – e.g., "wet" to the word "dry" or "fast" to the word "slow" – had higher scores on certain creative personality measures than subjects generating mostly synonyms or "original” responses. (My informal workshop trials suggest that usually less than ten percent of the audience free associate predominantly with antonyms.) While his sample was small and the results can only be suggestive, why might there be a correlation between contradictory association and personality differentiation? To expand your worldview and leadership vision, consider these Seven Cognitive Complexity-Creativity Keys:

a. Challenge the Conventional. To think oppositionally reveals a willingness to confront the conventional and the accepted or even "the respected authority." You will not be confined to obvious assumptions or expectations. As von Oech wryly noted in his classic on creativity, A Whack On the Side of the Head: "Sacred cows make great steaks." Or more potently and paradoxically, consider the pioneering 20th century artist, Pablo Picasso’s refrain: “Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction!” (Guess sometimes to “think out of the box” is not sufficient; you have to blow up the sucker to start fresh and be fertile.) So things that appear oppositional or contradictory may, in fact, conjure a complex or ironical, volatile or subtle relation that yields a higher truth.

b. Recognize Yin-Yang Perspective. This Eastern symbol depicts a complex truth: that seeming opposites don’t necessarily result in division or separation, but potentially flow into each other forming a greater, interconnected whole. Also, the symbol illustrates how a small circle of contradiction embedded in its opposite (as represented by a small black dot in the largest part of the white flowing amoeba-like space or a small white dot in the largest part of the black flowing amoeba-like space) is seeding the emergence of its counterpoint, that is, the white space ultimately transforms into black space and the black into white.

A Yin-Yang perspective was articulated by the pioneering actor and comedian, Charlie Chaplin, who, for example, believed the “light-hearted” emerged from darkness: “A paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it is precisely the tragic which arouses the funny. We have to laugh due to our helplessness in the face of natural forces and in order not to go crazy.” And the pioneering humanitarian, Helen Keller, also recognized a poignantly similar paradoxical truth – how crystals of delight live within the darkest corners or caves of man’s mind or milieu: “The world is so full of care and sorrow it is a gracious debt we owe one another to discover the bright crystals of delight hidden in somber circumstances and irksome tasks.”

c. Develop Forest and Trees, Tactics and Strategy. Oppositional thinking is not simply reactive: by definition it’s positioning one concept in relation to another – such as by quality, e.g., “wet vs. dry,” quantity, e.g., “large” vs. “small” or by position, “above vs. below” or “hill vs. valley.” That is, oppositional perspective challenges you to see multiple points of view. Grappling with polarity encourages the rejection of simplistic “black or white” and “good or bad” thinking. A capacity to make discriminations, to see shades of gray and, especially, for examining both sides of an issue is critical for being a guide “on the leading edge.” (And remember, these days, “If you’re not living on the edge you’re taking up way too much space.”)

Additionally, creative leadership requires some feel for details (the trees), but you also want a sense of the big picture (the forest); and you often need to be fluent in and flexible with both short-term tactics and long-term strategy. For example, a dynamic leader employing oppositional thinking, goes into the forest, cuts down a few trees (as few as necessary, and thinking ahead, plants new ones), then uses the trees to build conceptual bridges between him- or herself and a perceived opponent or rival. By reaching out both parties now have opportunity to communicate; to see how the other side thinks if not lives. Having a bigger picture helps you appreciate better where the other person is coming from, that is, a paradoxical perspective may facilitate empathy by transcending differences and finding common ground between “self” and the seemingly alien “other.” And this piece of wisdom provides a natural lead-in to section d.

d. Blend the Analytic and the Empathic. For me, oppositional processing also means building a mind bridge within, bringing an androgynous perspective, that is, integrating the masculine and feminine, the head and the heart, or cultivating brain-wise, according to one neuropsychological researcher, “bi-hemispheric peace of minds.” Of course, the different sides of the brain-personality are not always in perfect harmony. On a personal level and in the performance arena, I need time and space for my manic-like, “out there” and charismatically relating to others stage persona. But I also must have room for being a sometimes melancholy or a frequently introspective and analytically insightful cave dweller. (Alas, sometimes one soars then crashes or at least burns or runs out of energy before the rejuvenation cycle kicks in.) But when I have both these energy, ideational and relational sources smoldering and interacting…then I’m “Touched with Fire” (the title of psychologist and best-selling author, Kay Redfield Jamison’s book; its subtitle – “Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament”). Again, the cutting-edge leader needs to be able to talk the language of the verbal and the visual, the logical and the psycho-logical, and the tough and the tender. (For example, how about this integrative, thought-provoking notion of TLC: “Tender-Loving Criticism” and “Tough-Loving Care.”)

e. Pay Homage to Janus, F.Scott and A. North. Many in the arts and sciences have recognized the importance of reconciling seeming opposition to achieve a sense of wholeness or enriched integration, what Albert Rothenberg called “Janusian Thinking.” This cognitive process was named for the dual and opposite profiled, Roman deity, Janus, whose image was often found on gates and doorways. And appropriately, Janus was the god of “beginnings and endings” and of “leavings and returns.” Consider my Janusian-like linguistic loop of beginnings and separations: “One must begin to separate…one must be separate to begin.”

Moving from the mythic, to the more contemporary, thinkers of all stripes, including Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Alfred North Whitehead and acclaimed 20th century author, F. Scott Fitzgerald, have embraced the latter’s ideas about the significance of grappling with opposition: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the capacity to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. For example, one should see things as hopeless yet determined to make them otherwise.” Sounds like another leadership mantra!

f. Explore and Express Text and Context. As a “word artist” – both on the page and on stage – the importance of grappling with “text” and “context” is inescapable. “Text” is the “on its face” data or “utility” of a message while one notion of “context” is the envelope of personal, interpersonal, cultural, historical background or circumstance in which the message is embedded, thereby providing or coloring it’s full meaning and “significance.”

Another way of thinking about this “text-context” distinction, especially as a leader or educator, is through the lens of “style” and “substance.” As Francois La Rouchefoucald, the 17th century French classical writer, observed (quoted in Kay Redfield Jamison’s Exuberance: The Passion For Life, Random House, 2004), “Passions are the only orators which always persuade. They are like an act of nature, the rules of which are infallible; and the simplest man who has some passion persuades better than the most eloquent who has none.” As a sales manager in one of my workshops noted, “Logic tells and passion sells.” And I believe the paradoxical and passionate cutting-edge leader who knows how to share his or her personal story “compels.”

The best leaders understand that both text and context, in yin-yang and forest-trees fashion, must be accounted for if real meaning is to be gleaned, or if “message sent is to be message received.” Can you relate to this vexing example of one-dimensional information flow: have you ever received directions for assembling a product with only verbal instructions and no supportive images? GRRR!

Of course, accurately receiving a message is only half the battle. The cutting edge leader is not simply passionate but also knows how to deliver a message, especially by telling a story. According to Daniel Pink, in his book, A Whole New Brain, most of our thinking and our knowledge are organized as stories. Storytelling is the ability to place facts in context and to deliver them with emotional impact. A story blends high concept and high touch (see “Blending the Analytic and Empathic” above). Stories are high concept because they sharpen our understanding of one thing by showing it in the context of something else, a basic tool for understanding.

Finally, as James Lukaszewski, founder of The Lukaszewski Group Inc., a crisis communication firm, observed in a recent speech: “Telling stories is far more powerful than all of the studies, analyses, data, and information piled together on any given subject you can name. Data is debatable; stories permit everyone who hears, sees, or reads to make up their own minds from their own perspectives. Great leaders tell great stories. Stories help others learn to be leaders…Be a storyteller and you'll become known for being helpful, memorable, and a source of inspiration, insight, as well as self-evident truths."

g. Generate and Tolerate Thesis-Antithesis Tension. When trying to reconcile the seemingly irreconcilable you may experience what psychiatrist, Richard Rabkin, called a state of “thrustration,” which I defined thusly: “Thrustration occurs when you’re torn between thrusting ahead with direct action and frustration as you haven’t quite put together the pieces of the puzzle.” Some are not able to tolerate such tension. A truly classic New Yorker cartoon, playing off the opening lines of A Tale of Two Cities, forever lampooned the dangers of self-righteous rigidity in the face of contradiction. A nattily attired, pompous looking publisher standing behind his power desk begins to chastise a humbly dressed, hat in hand Charles Dickens: "Really, Mr. Dickens…was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could scarcely have been both!"

However, if you can stay with such cognitive tension and confusion, the angst just may fire the right hemisphere of your brain with the potential for sparking metaphorical images and analogies along with surprising and paradoxical visual puns. The reward may be worth the risk. Here’s a personal illustration of how the tension between thesis and antithesis yielded a creative and integrative “Aha!” Back in the early ‘90s, I wound up writing some rap-like lyrics for a black beauty contest theme song. (Don't ask. I had periodically tried my hand at poetry, including a bluesy number called “The Burnout Boogie.” Email stressdoc@aol.com for any and all.) One morning, shortly after my noble, beauty contest effort, I awoke chastising myself: I was a university professor, a psychotherapist (thesis)…What was I doing trying to write rap lyrics (antithesis)? A blazing flash scattered my sleepy haze. As the mist lifted, there…a mystical (if not hysterical) conceptual vision; a catalyst for my pioneering efforts in the realm of psychologically humorous rap music. I was no longer just playing in a field of dreams: “If you write and “Shrink Rap” ™ it…they will come” (creative synthesis). Clearly, my goal in life has a paradoxical bent: to be a wise man and a wise guy. Again, a pretty good recipe for a cutting edge leader!

Closing Summary and Strategic Story

This article conveys “Four Fertile and Flowing Forces of Creative Leadership and Partnership”:

1. Designing an Expanded Conception of Team,
2. Harnessing the Interrelationship between “Creativity,” “Conflict” and “Change,”
3. Extolling a Motivational Mindset, and
4. Experiencing the Connection between Complexity and Creativity

The latter was further differentiated through “Seven Cognitive Complexity-Creativity Keys.” These keys help cultivate a paradoxical, passionate and personal leadership perspective:

a. Challenge the Conventional,
b. Recognize Yin-Yang Perspective,
c. Develop Forest and Trees, Tactics and Strategy,
d. Blend the Analytic and the Empathic,
e. Pay Homage to Janus, F. Scott and A. North,
f. Explore and Express Text and Context, and
g. Generate and Tolerate Thesis-Antithesis Tension.

Now let’s close with a case example that hopefully illustrates and pulls together the above “Four Forces” and “Seven Keys.” The scenario describes a one-sided management decision to mandate operational change (thesis), the employees’ alleged “resistance” to the new procedures (antithesis) and the “creative leadership” challenge to discover a higher order solution or “the pass in the impasse” (synthesis). Strategic resolution will require more than just “out of the box” thinking. To rebuild morale and trust, to generate team purpose and unified performance will require both the public expression of anger and the public acknowledgement of error along with a show of remorse. As I once penned:

For the Phoenix to rise from the ashes
One must know the pain
To transform the fire to burning desire.

Turning a Funeral into a Festival

When you can reframe stereotypic oppositional tension, enabling all parties to consider a new reality, then you are ready to transcend bitter division and even transform a funeral into a festival. Let’s see how. In the early ‘90s, I was consulting with a federal court that was automating their record keeping process. As I recall, management had not solicited much input from employees directly impacted by the technical changes, especially involving a key administrative form. The employees were not just anxious about an uncertain future but were also angry at being bypassed in the decision-making and implementation process. In the employees’ minds their professional status and experience were being ignored or discounted. And not surprisingly, there was passive group opposition to the change. People were reverting back to the old form and former process.

Memos and motivational exhortations were having minimal effect when an epiphany began percolating. In a meeting with top management, I noted that we missed the boat on the front end of implementation, but believed we could still get back on. However, management had to stop simply defining employee behavior as “resistance to change.” Court leaders needed to appreciate and truly understand the employee’s sense of loss of control and even a loss of identity, especially for those most directly impacted by the change. We needed to grasp the reality that a new learning curve often generates anxiety and, depending on the circumstances surrounding the change, perhaps even a diminished sense of self-confidence and competence. And, of course, not being consulted on the nature of the change process only enhanced the feeling of being organizational pawns, and disrespected ones at that. Clearly, the employees’ emotional responses and subsequent behaviors were motivated by a complex mix of psychological and situational dynamics, not unlike an involved and intense reaction to the death of a loved one, the breakup of a once close relationship and the loss of a cherished belief (or even a fantasy, such as management wanting input from professionals in the trenches).

Once I recognized that the employees were actually grieving, achieving a starting point was possible: "Let's have a forms funeral." (Going way beyond the box…obviously I now was thinking “out of the coffin!”) Suddenly, we had a forum in which a common reality could be acknowledged and emotional intensity be shared. And exaggerating the circumstances proved a lot more creative and productive than an all too familiar gripe session. Employees now had a public forum for: a) mourning the loss of the old data processing system, b) expressing frustration with management's unilateral process and c) articulating concerns about the upcoming changes. Steps to rebuilding trust required management actually listening to criticism, acknowledging mistakes had been made and not punishing people for speaking their minds. This group grieving enabled folks to gradually and more objectively recognize the limitations of the old and the productive potential of the new. Employees were now willing to give the new system a chance to succeed, and all levels in the organization realized that the whole had to be part of the problem and part of the solution.

In summary, initial common ground was forged when a symbolic funeral was able to be both an arena for giving and accepting genuine feedback and a forum for reaching closure. The conceptual playing field shifted from employees resisting mandated top-down procedures and memos to the need for bottom-up expression of grief and appropriate articulation of grievance. This diagnostic and strategic reframe laid the groundwork for management taking responsibility for missteps and for management-employee dialogue and consensus. And by creatively thinking and acting out of the box-coffin, a significant measure of trust had been restored while a more cohesive and responsive Organizational Phoenix rose from the administrative ashes of unilateral decision-making and dysfunctional struggle.

In closing, there’s no better starting point than having your group genuinely, insightfully and imaginatively grapple with change and conflict to inspire individual creativity and interactive community. Not only will you be following the path of the cutting-edge leader, you will also be helping one and all…Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas and Fort Leonard Wood, MO. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Combat Strategies at the Burnout Battlefront

Today’s world is 24/7, wired and always on and often cycling between upgrading and reorganizing--if not outsourcing and downsizing. And as company mantras become “do more with less,” it’s no surprise that more and more people are struggling with job stress and burnout.

The Erosive Spiral

The classic set-up for burnout is a professional or personal situation that places high ongoing demands and responsibilities upon you while restricting your sense of control, autonomy and/or authority. Inflexibly high expectations and elusive goals only add fuel to the fire. Consider this: If, no matter what you do or how hard you try, results, rewards, recognition and relief are not forthcoming and you can’t say and mean “no” or won’t let go, trouble awaits. The groundwork is laid for apathy, callousness and despair.

Burnout is a gradual process by which a person detaches from work and other significant roles and relationships in response to excessive and prolonged stress and mental, physical and emotional strain. The result is lowered productivity, cynicism and confusion--a feeling of being drained and having nothing more to give.

The Four Stages of Burnout

Physical, mental and emotional exhaustion is the first stage of burnout. Do you recognize this sequence? Maybe you are still holding it together at work, but as soon as you get home you go right for the fridge, turn on the TV, hit the sofa and are comatose for the rest of the evening. Normally you pride yourself on doing a thorough job. But budget cuts have you looking for shortcuts, if not cutting corners, and this gnaws at your self-esteem. A case of the “brain strain” is developing, accompanied by an energy shortage and feelings of exhaustion.

Shame and doubt manifest themselves in the second stage of burnout. For example, if your supervisor asks you to take on a new assignment your first reaction is to be helpful, but suddenly a voice inside screams, “Are you kidding?” You’re feeling shaky in the present and losing confidence about managing the future--you can even start discounting past accomplishments. Remember, this is not a logical process but a psychological one.

Cynicism and callousness are how people often respond to feeling vulnerable. They put their guard up and look out for No. 1. In the short run this strategy may work, but over time this hard exterior can become a heavy burden. Remember, burnout is less a sign of failure and more a sign that you gave yourself away. Not surprisingly, you can become resentful and feel that people are taking advantage of you. Sensitive individuals begin developing calloused skin for self-protection.

This stage of burnout doesn’t just facilitate a hardening of the psyche. When your stress starts to smolder and turns to frustration and anger it can lead to a hardening of the arteries. High blood pressure, hypertension, cardiovascular complications, even heart attacks and strokes are potential health risks.

Failure, helplessness and crisis are symptoms of the fourth stage of burnout. And while it sounds terrible, consider this: hitting bottom means there’s no more downward spiral. And if you can reach out, there’s nowhere to go but up. Being caught in a career catch-22 often signals the final stage. Burnout is like trying to run a marathon at full speed. Without pacing, the body parts wear out, and the mental apparatus breaks down. In fact, one reason the fourth stage is so disorienting psychologically is that there are cracks in your defensive armor.

Fourth-stage burnout is the crisis point. Are you ready to reach out for the help and resources you need? A person recovers and expands his or her strengths and possibilities by:
Getting proper support from a professional trained in crisis intervention and loss;
Confronting denial, false hopes, cynicism and helplessness;
Grieving past and present losses, while turning guilt, anxiety and aggression into focused energy; and
Acquiring skills and technology for transforming new awareness and motivation.

Rehabilitation and Rejuvenation

While the erosive spiral of burnout is dangerous, it also provides opportunity for growth. I know from personal experience. Back in the 1980s, I was an unrealistic doctoral student. Low self-esteem and determination to silence critics and doubters had me trying to turn a mystical-like experience in psychoanalysis into a doctoral dissertation. For the sake of brevity, let’s just say I was definitely off the ivy-covered wall. And for several months, I was sidelined by exhaustion, existential emptiness and frightening, stress-induced dizzy spells. Fortunately, a silver lining emerged from the academic ashes. I became an expert on stress and burnout eventually evolving a self-care, recovery and prevention process.

It took several months of grieving and tending to mind-body wounds to recover. I needed to know that significant others still loved and respected me despite my feelings of academic failure. You may need a mentor or a counselor to reconfirm your pre-crisis identity; to help you see strengths when you are fixated on your weaknesses. And the earlier one can begin grieving and “letting go,” the easier for emotional catharsis to become a tool for rebuilding healthy purpose and passion.

As I once penned: For the Phoenix to rise from the ashes, one must know the pain. To transform the fire to burning desire!

Four Rs of Burnout Recovery

Running – Get moving with 30-40 minutes of exercise, such as jogging, brisk walking, cycling or swimming, which will get those disposition-enhancing endorphins pumping. The chemical influx helps slow a racing mind and helps lift a sluggish mood. There’s a beginning and end point for a tangible sense of control and accomplishment. Your routine becomes a success ritual fueling burnout recovery.

Reading – Turn to humorous novels or cartoon books to add some absurdity, if not levity, to your perspective. Hearty laughter also releases endorphins, giving vital organs a brief but vigorous internal massage.

Retreating – Take time to reflect on this ego- and identity-shattering experience and answer some of the big, existential questions: What are my skills, gifts and talents? What are my emotional, knowledge and learning gaps? The blank canvas is scary--but also exciting. To paraphrase poet Walt Whitman: Follow the open road and discover or recover your soul.

Writing - Research indicates that taking the time to express and analyze your emotions through writing provides a stress-relieving anchor in a stormy, troubled sea. Reflective writing can also be a source of self-discovery--a tool for your healing, understanding and action.

Shake Things Up

Rebuilding may involve shaking up the personal-professional puzzle, exploring anew or even returning to one’s passionate roots. This might include job or career path changes.
Restructure current roles and responsibilities; work in another department or division.
Take a sabbatical or travel.
Consult independently or work for a foundation, an association or an institute.
Go back to school to pursue a heartfelt interest, or even return to the classroom as an educator.
Go into business for yourself or, if you’re self-employed and running on empty, join a company.
Recover a previous creative pursuit and turn it into a career path or, perhaps, balance a job with a passionate hobby.
Pursue a different professional setting or field or a new geographical location.

Burnout Prevention Strategies

Burnout evokes an experience of loss--from loss of control or abandoning a cherished goal to a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. However, wrestling with loss often yields renewed energy and transitional possibilities.

To reduce chronic stress and prevent burnout, the Stress Doc prescribes "Natural SPEED."

Sleep – While recent research questions the health benefits of excessive sleep (more than eight hours) a pattern of less than six hours for most people yields a loss of mental sharpness. Also, sleep research supports brief napping (10 to 40 minutes) during the day for mind-body rejuvenation.

Priorities – Focus on the essentials when trying to be productive. To meet expectations and to achieve goals, it’s often vital to establish limits and set boundaries. Learn to say no and to negotiate. Tactfully yet assertively discuss what’s urgent versus what’s important.

Empathy – Listening to or supporting others can be stress relieving, just make sure the shoulder lending is not a one-way transaction. At work and/or in your home life, have at least one stress buddy with whom you can let your hair down.

Exercise – The benefit of regular exercise is both physical and psychological. Thirty minutes of vigorous activity releases endorphins--natural mood enhancers and pain relievers in the brain. Also, when everything feels up in the air, an exercise regimen provides a tangible sense of accomplishment and control -- a "success ritual."

Diet – A diet high in saturated fats (red meat, high-fat dairy) and simple sugars (sodas, cookies and excessive chocolate) induces drowsiness and mental torpor, not to mention clogged arteries. And too much alcohol and caffeine is a roller coaster headache--moodiness or depression often follows aggression and agitation. Balancing protein, fruits and vegetables, complex carbs, grains, nuts and plenty of water is vital for optimal energy and alertness along with cardiovascular health.

Psychological Hardiness

Psychological hardiness is a concept developed by Dr. Suzanne Kobasa and her research team while studying the health of AT&T executives during the stressful breakup of “Ma Bell.” Some execs were having a hard time physically and emotionally, while others were coping effectively with the transitional storm. The hardiest executives demonstrated what I call the Four C’s of Psychological Hardiness.

Commitment – While not happy about the major restructuring and resulting turbulence, the hardiest executives did not give up; they were determined to do quality work. They also had a life outside the office and received support from family, friends, colleagues and spiritual activities, as well as from hobbies. Hobbies allow you to take time out and to stimulate and nurture yourself.

Control – The hardy execs also had a realistic sense of control and less rigid need to wield it. They understood the necessity of giving up some turf positions and status posturing. Letting go of your cherished territory often provides a new vantage point for strategically surveying the emergent big picture.

Change – The hardy individuals had a realistic attitude toward change. For them, change was a natural part of life, not something to be resisted. Even when facing unpleasant or unhappy changes, they quickly grappled with their emotions. They grieved the loss of their familiar world, and then prepared themselves for the new or unknown. With this enlightened perspective, change was more a stepping-stone than a stumbling block.

Conditioning – Finally, the most hardy of the execs engaged in regular aerobic exercise or physical conditioning. Why is it so critical? As we’ve seen, not only does exercise help you stay fit, manage your weight and improve your cardiovascular health, but it also releases mood-lifting endorphins, a good antidote to mild feelings of agitation and/or depression. Also, when everything’s up in the air--you can’t seem to close any projects or sales or meet elusive deadlines--structured exercise provides a self-defined beginning and endpoint.

When you add natural SPEED to your routine and emulate the hardiest executives, you will have established a work world and a lifestyle that is balanced, has boundaries and also is bursting with energy. You have an awareness and action plan that prevents stress smoke signals from smoldering and erupting into that burnout fire. You will have truly learned how to "Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Logical and Psychological Approaches to Goal Setting

In an uncertain, rapidly changing climate, goals often are as slippery and mercurial as they are critical. They often defy short-term definition let alone engagement and capture. And survival reality is simple, if not stark: key aspects of conventional goal-setting strategy must adapt or become outmoded and out-dated.

Ironically, the approach needed may involve getting out of your “success” goal box. Remember, sometimes reflexively relying on our niche of success (if not resting on our laurels) ultimately can have you stuck in the ditch of excess. How do you negotiate this critical crossroad?

Frequently, the challenge is to move outside your comfort zone, explore the new or transitional landscape (and mindscape) and to “Confront Your Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure.” Consider these steps for blending rational goal-setting and creative risk-taking, four keys to “The Art of Designing Disorder”:

1. Aware-ily Jump in Over Your Head. When it come to productive risk-taking, don’t “Just do it!” Notice the above neologism: “Aware-ily” – a mix of aware and warily. Still, sometimes the only way to truly test the temperature and water current is to finally jump in. (Of course, as we’d say in the bayou, first check for alligators.) The value of emersion is that you quickly learn your strengths along with gaps in social and technical resources, skills, emotional hardiness and experience. You will likely have to dance with performance anxiety and feelings of loss of control. And while often humbling, taking the plunge surely sharpens focus and imaginative gifts while motivating maximum survival effort.

2. Strive to Survive the High Dive. While there are no guarantees, here are four survival measures:
a. Strive high and embrace failure. Forego perfectionist voices and fantasies; see so-called failure as the temporary gap and transitional space between an ideal state and your present reality. Of course, for failure to motivate progress, distinguish among high expectation, vision and hallucination.
b. Develop a realistic time frame. Remember, establishing a beachhead doesn’t mean you’ve conquered the island; recognize that many battles are fought and lost before a major undertaking is won
c. Be tenaciously honest. If the pressure is getting to you, come up for air and for an ear. Continuously assess the impact of actions and outcomes, the changes within yourself and your environment, and the rules underlying your operation.
d. Establish a support system. Risk-takers definitely need some TLC: “Tender Loving Criticism” and “Tough Loving Care” for staying the labyrinthine course, managing the stress of edgy living (“Hey, if you’re not living on the edge you’re taking up way too much space”), and for bathing psychic, if not physical wounds.

3. Thrive On Thrustration. Become more problem-minded, not just solution-oriented; don’t rush to judgment. Be a psychic volcano. For awhile, tolerate the conflict between thrusting ahead with direct action and frustration, that fertile state yet volatile state of “thrustration.” Heightened pressure and a “no exit” challenge can shake the habituated, settled mind. And then, learn to let go. With these steps you are feeding the creative fires and priming the imaginative, emotive and visual right hemisphere of your brain. So take an “incubation vacation” to hatch a new perspective. Be ready for an upsurge of repressed memories, novel images and associations and, possibly, an “Aha!” explosion. Remember, problems are not just sources of tension and frustration, but are opportunities for integrating the past and the present, the conscious and the unconscious, the obscure and the obvious. Here lies creative perspective.

4. Design for Error and Opportunity. Innovative and risk-taking individuals and organizations are more attuned to a range of possibilities than to “one right way” or rigidly ideal goals. These systems initiate action without absolute predesign predictability and prefer experimentation to preoccupation over imperfection. Having the courage to flounder through a sea of novelty and confusion often yields new connections, long-range mastery and an uncommon big picture. A narrow, safe course creates the illusion of achievement and short-lived control. Of course, limited predesign means opportunity for errors. In open people and systems, startup misplays are vital signs for self-correcting and self-challenging feedback.
With these keys in mind, a closing message, if not passage, for valuing both the destination and the journey:

Remember, errors of judgment or design rarely consign one to a state of incompetence; they more likely reveal inexperience or immaturity, perhaps even boldness. Our so-called "failures" can be channeled as guiding streams (okay, sometimes raging rivers) of opportunity and experience that ultimately enrich – widen, deepen and expand – the risk-taking passage...If we can just immerse ourselves in these unpredictably roiling yet so often rejuvenating waters.

Here’s to double-edged and cutting-edged goal setting!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

The Definition and Evolution of Professional Wisdom: The Paths and Processes of Mentoring and Meandering

By Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the “Stress Doc” ™

[Adapted from my article first published in PCMA Capital Chapter, The Chatter, June 2003]

While exploring a theme during an association committee meeting, two thought-provoking questions were posed: What is “professional wisdom” and how does one gain the same? The Webster’s Third New International Dictionary helps launch an investigation. To summarize, as an adjective, “professional” refers to an individual engaged in an occupation requiring a high level of training and proficiency. The role is characterized by technical and/or ethical standards, such that this individual demonstrates a fine artistry or workmanship based on education, the application of sound knowledge, conscientiousness and experience.

“Wisdom” seemingly emerges from a professional foundation or, at least, reaches some maturity through “hard-earned,” growing pains process or journey that enriches both the head and the heart. Wisdom is:
1) Accumulated information or lore, or instinctive adaptation;
2) The intelligent application of learning; that is, the ability to discern inner qualities and essential relationships; and,
3) Characterized by integrity and character.

Perhaps Benjamin Franklin said it best: “The mouth of a wise man is in his heart.”

Now that we have defined our terms, let’s identify two wisdom-generating paths and processes – “mentoring” and “meandering.” While posited separately, clearly, these “M & M”s can come together and nourish a life journey. And, like everything else, overdosing on these “M & M”s can have consequences:

1. Mentoring. Most of us can think of a knowledgeable and understanding, more senior supervisor or colleague (or relative, teacher, coach, therapist, etc.) who took us under his or her wing. This individual shared ideas and preached from experience, helped us bathe wounds or got us back on our feet during or after daunting learning curve trials. He or she also provided practical shortcuts based on greater time on the battle lines. For many, this person becomes a role model significantly influencing both our professional substance and communication style, especially in those identify-forming years. One caveat: totally embracing a mentor’s way – because one sees the mentor as God-like or because it’s easier following a familiar or safe trail – may hinder the development of one’s own individuality and confidence to explore.

Let me provide an example. When I first moved to Washington, DC in 1990, after sixteen years in New Orleans, I was hungry for connecting with another collection of oddballs and outcasts. In the Big Easy, all it took was strolling down the street; in DC I had to join an “Artists Support Group.” One of the mind-opening discoveries was the fact that many of the visual artists, with BFAs and MFAs, were lamenting the loss of their distinct visual style and “voice.” These folks believed they had aligned too closely with a graduate advisor or other faculty member, forsaking much of their previous interests, perspectives or style. Also, for practical reasons many had crossed the border from fine to commercial/graphic arts. Now, often struggling with a seemingly mid-career malaise or burnout, they wanted to return to their creative roots and rediscover a vehicle for personal if not singular artistic expression.

Now consider this anti-academic saga. As a speaker and writer, my odyssey began by dropping out of the Tulane University School of Social Work doctoral program in 1981. A mystical-like experience propelled me to attempt a wildly creative dissertation topic that was, frankly, “off the academic wall.” (In hindsight, I understand why my advisors were skeptical. At the time I wasn’t going to let those conservative academics stifle this budding talent.) Eventually, I burnt out on the process, dropped out of the program and was on my own – a state both scary and exhilarating. My professional canvas was blank. How was I going to fill it? There were two silver linings: I was ready to become an expert on stress and burnout (I may be hard-headed but I’m no dummy) and New Orleans definitely needed a “Stress Doc” ™.

In the early ‘80s, oil had gone bust and the state of Louisiana had passed West Virginia as the most economically depressed state in the union. The burnt out “Bayou State” was ready for an expert who could so personally and vividly talk about the experience of the “erosive spiral.” Through sheer “chutzpah,” I broke into radio and TV and began experimenting with and developing my own style of brief essays that blended good psychology with irreverent wit (my “psychohumorist” ™ voice), memorable phraseology (“Practice Safe Stress” ™) and fast-paced energy. For example, one early radio essay title was: “Breaking out of a hell of a Shell or Don’t Feel Too Sorry for Humpty Dumpty…He Needed to Hit Bottom.”

Actually, these substance and style attributes, supplemented by an ability to generate engaging and fun group exercises for audiences of any size, over time led to designing uncommon programming as a speaker and workshop leader. As a former girl friend noted, I have been on “the journey of a word artist.” This example of the dangers of mentoring and, conversely, the opportunities that opened once outside of academia, leads to the second path for gaining professional wisdom.

2. Meandering. In contrast to mentoring, one may evolve skills, experience and ultimately, some wisdom, less by coaching and more by on the job training, especially when (mostly) flying solo. A meandering learning curve, not surprisingly, is often of longer duration, with unexpected detours and learning paths and has greater frequency of errors. Self-defeating consequences may arise: one can get lost or stuck when rigidly defying authority or custom or always having to do it “my way.” Still there may be two distinctly positive outcomes: a) the development of a more individual, fresh and authentic voice or uncommon modus operandi and b) a greater willingness to take risks and a begrudging acceptance of the need for and, even, value of both failing and of challenging the conventional. Solitary meandering may well help foster inner resources and resolve.

Evolution and “The Secret of Wisdom”

Whether through mentoring or meandering, when character develops in the course of meaningful, give-and-take interaction or integrity builds from soul-searching solitude, and these maturational markers gradually learn to dance together, here is a path and process for personal-professional evolution and wisdom. As Jonas Salk, one of the groundbreaking discoverers of the Polio Vaccine, observed: Evolution is about getting up one more time than we fall down, being courageous one more time than we are fearful, trusting just one more time than being anxious. And along with a sense of persistence, everyday struggle and appreciation for even small triumphs is the need for serenity: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know where to hide the bodies." No...Just kidding. ;-) "And the wisdom to know the difference." And the older I get, the more profound "The Serenity Prayer" seems. Yet, a fundamental question remains: how the heck do you get the wisdom? Okay, folks. Here it is...The Secret of Wisdom.

Once there was a young woman who heard that an old wise woman had the secret of wisdom. The young woman was determined to track the old woman down. After traveling many months, the young woman found the old woman in a cave. She entered and addressed the old woman: "Old Wise Woman, I hear you have The Secret of Wisdom. Would you share it with me? The old woman looked at the youth and said, "Yes, you seem sincere. The Secret of Wisdom is good judgment." "Good judgment, of course," said the youth, thanked her mentor, and started to leave. However, as she got to the entrance of the cave she paused, turned back and said, "Old Woman, I feel funny, but, if I may ask, how does one obtain good judgment?" "That's a good question," said the sage. "One obtains good judgment through experience." "Experience, of course," said the young seeker, and proceeded to leave. But once again she stopped in her tracks, and humbly walked back to her mentor. "Old Woman," said the young woman, "I feel foolish, but I have to ask: How does one obtain experience?" The old woman paused, nodded her head, and then proceeded: "Now you have reached the right question. How does one obtain experience?. . . Through bad judgment!"

Remember, errors of judgment or design rarely consign one to a state of incompetence; they more likely reveal inexperience or immaturity, perhaps even boldness. Our so-called "failures" can be channeled as guiding streams (okay, sometimes raging rivers) of opportunity and experience that ultimately enrich – widen, deepen and expand – the risk-taking passage...If we can just immerse ourselves in these unpredictably roiling yet so often rejuvenating waters. Here are words that spur the striving for higher levels of professionalism and wisdom and also help us all…Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

The Post-Metro Malaise: Strategic Steps for Managing Post-Trauma Aftershocks

Hi,

In light of this week's Wash, DC Metrorail tragedy, a number of folks in federal agencies responded positively to my idea for an article providing strategic tips for managing the emotional aftershocks and to help the community heal.

Mark Gorkin, LICSW, The Stress Doc ™301-875-2567 and stressdoc@aol.com

P.S. If I can help you plan a speaking or workshop program that will provide some relief and rejuvenation while building a stronger sense of team and community, email or call.
---------------------

The Stress Doc reflects on the recent Metrorail tragedy and outlines key steps and strategies for those of us not directly injured but nonetheless still dealing with lingering dis-ease or any post-trauma effects.

The Post-Metro Malaise: Strategic Steps for Managing Post-Trauma Aftershocks

For many of us, another date, Monday, June 22nd, has been painfully etched in personal and collective memory. For folks in the Metro-DC area, this tragedy erupting so close to home, the aftershocks are palpable and unnerving. Still, this is more than a local story. While Metro is a vital part of the DC psyche and lifeline, and is the hub of the region’s transportation fabric, it is also a national icon. Especially for many millions of visitors, one might say Washington, DC, is known far and wide for its “Three ‘M’s”: Museums, Monuments and Metro. People from all walks of life felt the impact of the fatal collision.

Of course, our hearts, tears and prayers go out to the victims and their families. Alas, words alone cannot console the grief and heal the pain of lives tragically torn asunder; one fervently hopes that family, friends, faith and renewed focus over time may provide some relief and encourage psychic healing and human bonding. So my purpose, then, is to mostly speak not to those physically injured or jolted by the catastrophic collision but to address all of us who must continue riding Metro as well as those who can imagine someday riding Metro and are weighing the pros and cons. My words are for those likely no longer in a state of shock, but possibly in a present state of dis-ease, feeling that one’s world is shadowed by a greater sense of vulnerability and diminished control.

For me this essay is personal. Monday I was on the Red Line. I had just attended a seminar on “Mentoring” at the Dept. of Homeland Security (a tad ironic, perhaps). I stopped to have lunch across the street at L’Enfant Plaza, and was sitting outside soaking up the sunshine. Around two thirty in the afternoon I began my northward trek to the Wheaton station, unconsciously passing the Fort Totten stop. Just another day in the life of a Metro-DC citizen/consultant.

But, of course, it wasn’t. Now questions linger: how do you/we make sense of the unthinkable? And how do you/we come to grips with any trauma or emotional angst that is an understandable byproduct of closely identifying with the specific tragic event and the overall psychosocial-infrastructural-“the degree of safety in my world of Washington, DC” gestalt now shaken in light of the Metrorail disaster?

Let me say that we in Washington – whether inside or beyond the Beltway – are no strangers to tragedy, whether it manifests as 9/11, sniper fire or an anthrax attack/scare. (In fact, I have drawn on some of my previous post-trauma strategic reflections for this article.) Many of us are battle-hardened; still each tragedy must be acknowledged and wrestled with on its own terms. And also worth mentioning is that we are presently living in uncertain times – economic, job- and budget-related challenges, mortgage crises, depleted savings, etc. abound – stressors which may propel uncertainty into outright anxiety or lack of control moodiness. Finally, the nature of a post-traumatic stress reaction may be influenced by three dynamics:

a) in general, the overall level of work and home life uncertainty or vulnerability, non-stop demand or disorganization that one is currently experiencing when tragedy or trauma hits,
b) the degree to which a person has had significant losses, especially early in life, one example being a child who experiences the death of a parent; or the degree to which significant losses throughout the life cycle have not been sufficiently or adequately grieved; for example, persistent upsetting dreams about earlier experiences of loss -- whether of a love one or of a “loss of control or hope” scenario -- might be a signal for seeking some grief counseling, and
c) intimately knowing someone involved in a tragedy or being physically near the calamity in place or time (experiencing that “close call”) often heightens a feeling of identification and may ratchet up personal anxiety or a sense of loss.

The Stress Doc's Tips for Managing Post-Trauma Stress

With this descriptive and diagnostic opening, let me share some tips and strategies for maintaining a realistic sense of control, some healing humor and grace in these trying times.1. Do a Self-Inventory. Are you experiencing any of these common post-traumatic stress symptoms?:
a) generalized anxiety or helplessness; loss of concentration or racing thoughts
b) eating or sleeping disturbance; increasing your use of alcohol and drugs to chill out
c) feeling numb or unpredictably weepy; sudden crying
d) somatic stress, e.g., headaches, muscle tension, rise in blood pressure, etc.
e) loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, roles and relations
f) impending doom; preoccupation with what will happen next.

You don’t have to have all these indicators to be a candidate for increased nurturance or reassurance, whether personal or professional. When one or two of these “smoke signals” reach intense levels, consider reaching out. Fortunately, federal employees have access to agency Employee Assistance Programs (EAP), that is, free, time-limited counseling. Talking with a trained and objective professional may be the best way to engage your thoughts and feelings and regain a sense of emotional equilibrium and perspective.

2. Stay Connected, Not Compulsive. As a general coping strategy, don't just bury your head in work as a way to tune out anxiety. Conversely, beware the deer in the headlights syndrome from CNN or internet overload. Beware being mesmerized by “news addict” media. Talk with significant others to help release and reduce your fears; however, seek a serene mean: constant venting (or being exposed to such an invasive "stress carrier") likely will fuel anxious ruminating.

3. If at All Possible, Get Back On the (Iron) Horse. The next two post-trauma management/prevention tips come from post-9/11 experiences. About a week before 9/11, I confirmed a visit to my folks in NYC via AMTRAK. I was to arrive on the 14th. Then 9/11 happened. Despite some anxiety, on the phone we agreed that short of a credible bomb threat at Penn Station I would head up. And I’m glad I did. Traveling on the train, landing in Penn Station, and later that weekend walking around Union Square with a friend, viewing the candlelight vigils, hearing the haunting strains of music and seeing the heart-wrenching, “Have you seen…?” photos, letter scraps and posters, was incredibly poignant and also cathartic. Confronting the myriad of emotions helped me tangibly feel the loss as well as find some sense in the ineffable and the irrational. I believe this emotional immersion ultimately prevented the development of phobic-like avoidance reactions and reduced the length and severity of the post-trauma experience. (Again, the experience is very different for an individual or family who more directly and tragically experienced “ground zero.”)

4. Sustain Commitment, Demonstrate Courage. When it comes to managing trauma and strengthening emotional muscle, more is on the line than just individual stress. How you handle challenges, including personal stress, often has important implications for others, especially the ones closest to you. Consider this second post-9/11 vignette. (I’m not equating the two tragedies; just trying to present a story for your consideration.): a Ph.D. Research Psychologist working at the National Institutes of Health (in the Metro-Washington area) at a Center meeting recalled the terror-induced distraught weeping of her ten-year-old daughter. The girl was trying to dissuade her mother from attending an out-of-town conference about one month after the September attacks. Despite having left the child with her parents, this single mother was still not sure she had done the right thing. Once discerning that the daughter was doing fine, I asked this Mom to loosen her guilt knot and to consider that, "You've been a role model for courage. That despite having some fears, the message you gave your daughter was not of neglect. Your actions revealed having enough confidence in yourself and in her, and a belief in meeting important responsibilities even in tough times."

5. Share the Humor. Clearly, there's no joking away today's litany of fears, scares and tragedies yet, as the comedic genius, Charlie Chaplin, understood, more than ever we need to laugh: "A paradoxical thing is that in making comedy the tragic is precisely which arouses the funny...we have to laugh due to our helplessness in the face of natural forces and (in order) not to go crazy." Right now, some light and enlightening in-house training and conference programs filled with some safe venting, laughter and fun just might make a timely and invaluable healing and inspiring gift.

Sometimes, though, major planning isn't necessary; healing humor may only require a deft touch at a sensitive or "higher power" moment. Consider the repertoire of a Southwest Airlines employee at a traditionally somber interlude. Reviewing takeoff procedures, the steward, holding both oxygen mask and float cushion, suddenly says, "Since part of this trip will be over water, in the unlikely event that this flight becomes a cruise"…and before he could complete his instructions, waves of laughter rolled through the cabin.

Whether getting on a plane, train or being apart from family while attending a conference, being able to find some humor or a sense of the absurd in the face of our doubts and demons are all vital components for long-term relief and rejuvenation. According to psychiatrist, Ernst Kris, "What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at." And as the Stress Doc inverted: "What was once feared and is now laughed at is no longer a master!"

But it was the great humanitarian and disability pioneer, Helen Keller, who truly captured the importance of humor as a heart-to-heart healing and uplifting source, especially in trying times: “The world is so full of care and sorrow it is a gracious debt we owe one another to discover the bright crystals of delight hidden in somber circumstances and irksome tasks.” Amen and women to that!

6. Distinguish Probable vs. Possible. As the former Washington Post reporter, Doug Feaver, who covered Metro and other local and national transportation issues, stated in his June 24 op-ed piece, despite the recent tragedy and the age of some of the trains, “Metro is extraordinarily safe. About 40,000 people nationwide were killed in traffic accidents in 2007, the last year for which totals are available…A total of 12 passengers and two metro employees have been killed since the system opened.”

When decision-making is driven by "the possible" (adverse consequences) then we are nearly always anxious, vulnerable and on the edge. With a fertile mind, almost any negative influence or occurrence or omen can be lurking in the shadows. However, by evaluating situations more objectively, often with the help of fact-driven feedback, thereby discerning what is a reasonable expectation or likely result, that is, "the probable," we can: a) better assess past and present issues and events as well as future warning indicators, b) identify more accurately the problem-solving content and context, what's relevant background data, what's noise, and c) generate more reliable, optimally risk-taking and more likely to be effective individual and collective response options and actions.

Of course, using a probability perspective means randomness and hazards are to some degree in play; you cannot be omniscient or be totally in control of all contingencies. We all want to know as quickly as possible the causes of the tragedy. Let the investigators do their job. Be careful not to jump to premature conclusions just to resolve anxiety and create the illusion of control.

Remember, wisdom is usually seen as a yin-yang mix of having knowledge and being able to tolerate uncertainty; taking action yet knowing when to exercise judicious restraint; becoming emotionally involved and demonstrating some detachment. The Serenity Prayer, once again, seems prescient:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

7. Take Timely, Concrete and Positive Action. Try formulating two or three action steps that might help you feel a small but significant degree of enhanced safety and security. If you are considering using Metro again, how about riding with a friend or “stress buddy?” For example, I’ve been doing work with officers, soldiers and spouses at Ft. Hood, TX. When the soldiers deploy to Iraq, not surprisingly, it’s a stressful time on the home front. In highly coordinated fashion, the spouses' “battlefield buddy” network swings into action, establishing phone trees and help lines, peer social and support groups, family outings, etc. The BLUF (“Bottom Line Under Fire, not "Bottom Line U Fool"): “Don’t suffer alone in silence!”

Like the state of crisis, post-trauma effects are time-limited; a person will typically regain a state of mind-body equilibrium within one to six weeks. The equilibrium may reflect: a) positive problem-solving and the further development of one’s mind-body-spirit resources or support systems or b) regression using avoidance coping strategies that constrict the choices and boundaries of your life. This is why the Chinese have two characters for “crisis” – “danger and opportunity.” So strike when the ego is hot, for there is a timely learning curve: effective coping during the one-six week vulnerable window not only restores a sense of confidence and competence but often helps develop cognitive and emotional muscles for managing future trauma or crisis effects.

In summary, there is cause for hope and even optimism. Post-traumatic stress is natural, and if purposefully engaged may heighten an individual's problem solving capacity, enhance one's communal circle of support and, in addition, the grief process may be a catalyst for potent healing and growth producing energy. As I once penned: Whether the loss is a key person, a desired position or a powerful illusion each deserves the respect of mourning. The pit in the stomach, the clenched fists and quivering jaw, the anguished sobs prove catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like Spring upon Winter, the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful renewal.

8. Develop Natural SPEED. Finally, try this daily formula for natural stress inoculation:S = Sleep. Don't be cheap with your need for sleep. Less than six hours a day for most folks dulls cognitive sharpness, a critical faculty for firmly grounding those fear factors and exploring problem solving opportunities.

P = Priorities. One example: distinguish "the urgent" (which must be handled immediately) from "the important" (which can be prioritized). The second approach when it comes to establishing priorities: “learn to say no.” Remember, burnout is less a sign of failure and more that you gave yourself away. Consider these Stress Doc maxims: “A firm ‘No’ a day keeps the ulcers away, and the hostilities, too” and “Do know your limits and don’t limit your ‘No’s.”

E = Empathy. Have a stress buddy at work and/or home; someone with whom you can both give and get support. As I once penned: “E” is for the empathy found in a caring shoulder. But all give without take is a big mistake for now you shoulder a boulder!

E = Exercise. Not only does aerobic level exercise stimulate the mind-body's natural mood enhancing chemicals, but walking two miles or a 30-minute workout at the gym provides a beginning and endpoint for a tangible sense of accomplishment and control. In uncertain times, success rituals definitely strengthen psychological hardiness and resilience.

D = Diet. This is not the time to use food to numb your angst. High fats and simple sugars along with excess alcohol dull the brain in the long run and can even trigger moodiness and depression. A conscious healthy eating regimen will be another self-control component in your strategic plan for mind-body safety and personal-professional integrity.

Hopefully, this article has raised some questions and outlined some steps and strategies for positively responding to these trying if not traumatic times…words to help one and all Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Transforming Critical Feedback into Purposeful Play

Hi,

Here's a concise essay on how a clever and courageous leader was able to give her partners palatable critical performance feedback by presenting a message that was both meaningful and mirthful. Of course, some foundation of mutual respect and TLC modeling is advisable.

And upon reading my essay, here's the quick response from the above cutting-edge leader:

Thanks, Doc! :-)

And thanks so much for attending on Saturday -- I am so glad that the "Whimsical Awards" went over well -- I was SO nervous about doing those! :-)

I would LOVE to have you participate as a contributor to the Regional newsletter!! And I'd like to share your articles on leadership and team-building with colleagues here at NGA as well -- don't be surprised if I ask you to come give a workshop here! :-)

I will gladly share this information with the Chapter Presidents, and with the other Regional Managers to share with their chapters, too, and look forward to seeing you again real soon!! :-)

Have a Great Monday!

Valerie

Valerie Stringer
Regional Manager, DC Metro
Federally Employed Women
[Working for the Advancement of Women in Govt.]

[MG: If anyone is interested in using my articles and essays in an organizational newsletter, please email stressdoc@aol.com or call -- 301-875-2567.]
----------------------------

Transforming Critical Feedback into Purposeful Play
Or Confronting the Intimate FOE: Turning Fear of Exposure into the Fun of Embarrassment

I just experienced a wonderful way of giving relevant performance feedback, especially of the critical variety. And, challenging feedback convention, the “calling out” is even occurring in a public forum. In addition, making the process surprising and special is the fact that all are laughing, including the object of the criticism. But all are laughing with not at the so-called target; everyone can and has walked in those far from perfect performance shoes (and can feel the overworked bunions). One analogy coming to mind is a celebrity “roast” except, in this particular instance, there are a number of sacrificial lambs who, actually, have already been lionized earlier for various achievements. (Once again we see the value of pairing positive affirmation when providing some critical comments.)

To be specific, I attended one of those end of the year Awards functions. It was for the DC Metro regional and chapter reps and chair persons of FEW – Federally Employed Women. Actually, all members were invited. And despite it being a rainy Saturday, about forty were in the audience. The program was humming along with the dispensation of diploma-like appreciations in blue folders and an occasional small plaque with neat lettering, followed by the requisite photo op with the Regional Manager. (I suspect we were also humming in anticipation of the bountiful potluck lunch provided by attendees.)

However, about three quarters of the way through the program, said Regional Manager, Valerie Stringer, definitely went outside the Awards Box. Valerie announced that this year’s proceedings would be spiced up with some “Whimsical Awards.” Let me share some of my favorites. For the chapter that has still not quite been able to get their website and a regular newsletter up and running, Valerie gave an FTL – “Failure to Launch” Award. (Wisely, Valerie mentioned that some of the inertia occurred under her tenure with the local chapter.) Another personal favorite was the recognition bestowed upon the chapter behind in collecting members’ dues: “Treasurers Need Not Apply” Award. And a general award for attitude, “You Got Some Nerve” went, appropriately enough, to DC Women with a Mission! Of course, Valerie, herself did not escape a touch of roasting by a chapter rep. For a busy if not at times beleaguered leader, what better recognition than an “If You Send Me Another D..M Email” Award. (Actually, the “D” word was “Darn”; forgive my poetic emphasis.)

“Whimsical” Context

Of course, some interpersonal context is needed. During the initial business part of the event, Valerie’s openness to feedback – whether general observations or, more pointedly, what the chapter leadership needs to be initiating or following-up on – was evident. In fair turn, when necessary, this Regional Manager seemed comfortable providing summation or direction after some group discussion. Group, communication was clearly two-way. Also, obvious was Valerie’s low key, occasionally self-effacing and playfully sly sense of humor. I suspect most folks understood the “Whimsical Awards” (WA) was a reflection of her mirthful and mischievous nature and not an attempt to play gotcha with the recipients.

Still, Valerie was exercising a necessary leadership function: holding accountable those she most directly counts on to fulfill the organization’s mission, goals and objectives. Enough different individuals received a WA so I doubt any one person felt truly singled out. And despite the public critique, which in other contexts can have a humiliating impact, poking good-natured fun evoked cheers of acknowledgement. It’s true, one or two recipients appeared mildly embarrassed walking up for the award. However any touches of red were quickly overshadowed by the audience’s warmth and an award winner’s own knowing laughter. For example, one recipient reframed her dues collection issue as a “marketing strategy to get new members.” And, finally, a bear hug from Valerie quickly dissolved any lingering discomfort.

With hindsight, in light of the potential risk, perhaps a necessary foundation for a successful “Whimsical” process is some baseline level of mutual respect and reciprocity between a leader and partners. And it certainly didn't hurt having Valerie model what I've called "A Leader's Greatest Gift -- TLCs: Inspiring Trust, Laughter and Creative Collaboration." [Email stressdoc@aol.com for the original article or information about my speaking program of the same name.]

Playful yet Purposeful Conclusion

Let’s summarize the ingenious nature of this two-way, leadership-and-partners feedback process:

1. The leader transforms her concerns or frustration into clever and relevant quips; aggressive energy is converted into creative activity
2. While providing an element of risk, the public forum enables the leader to underscore key operational issues and values; simultaneously, everyone hears and, potentially, takes to heart the meaningful messages
3. The light-hearted nature of the messenger and message softens its pointed quality
4. A “being singled out” effect is also tempered by the preexisting reciprocity, trust and respect in the room, as well as the event’s and the audience’s positive energy
5. Finally, when a group can allow for the mutual poking of fun around significant issues without generating feelings of disrespect or humiliation – in fact, eliciting just the opposite, cheers and reassuring acceptance – the result invariably is an enhanced feeling of camaraderie and trust. And just maybe, developing such relationship skills and strategies can help us all…Practice Safe Stress!


Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.