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Hi,
Agenda:
1) Recent workshops and feedback
2) Upcoming Leadership Program
3) Gentoring essay on Gen Xers and Millennial “Hot Buttons”
4) What do you think?: Will be the keynote speaker for an Indiana Chamber of Conference Wellness Conference in Sep. The theme is "Stress" and they asked me for a clever tagline: Here's my best effort:
"Transforming Stress: Turning 'Fight or Flight' into 'Friend and (Creative) Flow'"
Want to try coming up with a theme? I will forward the entry with your name and email address.
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1) Some recent programs and feedback
College and University Public Relations Association of Pennsylvania (CUPRAP) -- Annual Conference [Practice Safe Stress and Team Building Program]
Mar 24, 2011
Thanks Mark! I really enjoyed your session. We will keep you in mind for our next retreat here at Juniata College, although the date for that has not yet been named.
G
Marketing and Development
(Reference info upon request)
-----------------------------------
International Public Management Association for Human Resources-- Virginia Chapter[Half-day program "From Reorganization to Resilience"]
Mar 21, 2011
Hi Mark -- As I move into post conference recovery just a note of thanks for a wonderful presentation. Your work is always fun, engaging and informative. It was a pleasure to have you a part of our conference. I look forward to working with you again here in Chesterfield County.
Cindy
Cindy Taylor, IPMA-HR-CP
Learning Consultant
Chesterfield County
Center for Organizational Excellence
9800 Government Center Parkway, 3rd floor
Chesterfield, VA 23832
( (804) 748-1552
taylorc@chesterfield.gov
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2) Heading to Chesterfield, VA next week to do a "leadership" workshop for the April 5th Chesterfield County 2011 Supervisory Leadership Conference. Email for more info. Here's a program blurb:
The Responsible, Resilient & Risk-Taking Leader: Turning on Your “Passion Power” and Inspiring TLCs – “Trust, Laughter and Creative Collaboration”
In these economically challenging times, today’s leader must know how to step up – to genuinely connect and inspire. Let Mark Gorkin, aka “The Stress Doc” ™, help you discover your “Passion Power” and “TLC Leadership – Inspiring Trust, Laughter and Creative Collaboration” even during challenging times. Through compelling presentation along with fun-filled interactive team exercises, Gorkin provides energizing tools and techniques for building individual resiliency, team camaraderie and achieving high performance motivation and morale in the face of uncertainty. Transform stress and conflict into Leadership TLC.
You will also learn to recognize the signs of stress, channeling stress and frustration into safe sharing, cooperative and creative action, and group bonding. Gorkin will show you how to more effectively give and receive feedback and disarm power struggles while building trust. Discover the Stress Doc’s cutting edge model and method for reducing stress, expanding “passion power” energy, generating motivation, and creating team synergy.
OBJECTIVES
Participants will:
1. Quickly identify change stress/burnout warning signs and learn psychological-interpersonal skills for dealing with loss and change to maximize personal and professional recovery and resilience
2. Learn to defuse power struggles, productively engage conflict while building trust by asking empathic-courageous questions and by strengthening collaborative problem solving skills
3. Discover two pillars of resiliency: “Capacity for Risk-Taking” and “Turning On Your Passion Power” – being “Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful”
4. Engage in “whole brain” groups exercises that transform transition-leadership tension into productive sharing, greater understanding, creative problem solving, team building and bonding, and healing laughter.
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3) Starting a “Gentoring” ™Program: Barriers to Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide – Gen Xers and Millennial “Hot Buttons”
In the first two segments of my Gentoring essay, a) the concepts of Gentor ™ and Gentoring ™ were introduced (“Gentoring” ™: Building a New Mentoring Role for Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide or “Don’t Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur!”), and b) anticipated barriers or “hot buttons” (“Gentoring” ™: Barriers to Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide – Traditionals and Boomer “Hot Buttons”) were identified, that is, when a generationally older employee, more techno-lizard than wizard, accepts coaching-gentoring from a younger and more computer-multimedia savvy Gen X or Y colleague.
Gentoring: Why the Time is Ripe
Two contemporary factors heighten the importance of initiating a “Gentoring” program: 1) expanding computer-Internet-multimedia competency is critical in today’s 24/7, rapidly changing technology-driven world, and 2) in a time of organizational budget tightening and of a pervasive “do more with less” operational climate, drawing on and maximizing existing internal company and team resources is “bottom line” and mission critical. And a Gentoring program may well provide some “lagniappe” (a N’Awlins phrase for a little something extra, i.e., a “baker’s dozen”): creating collaborative partnerships to help bridge the generational-digital divide.
So let’s move to the junior members and examine the perceived, potential or actual barriers, the psychological and interpersonal as well as organizational and socio-cultural (including current economic) dangers and opportunities that may arise in a Gentoring Start-up. And in this new role and relationship, we’ll especially want to identify likely “hot buttons” of Gen Xers and, especially, Gen Ys (that is, those born after 1964 and 1980 respectively) when trying to coax and coach an older generation of employees across the dino-digital divide. Here are “Five Gen X and Gen Y Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons”:
1. Family Dynamics. Just as a Traditional or Boomer may relate to a significantly younger colleague, consciously or not, as a son or daughter, or a younger sibling, a member of the digital generation may displace some of their unresolved emotional baggage (hopefully not tonnage) onto their older “Gentee.”
An example was provided in my essay on “Traditionals and Boomer ‘Hot Buttons’”: if a Gen Y makes a mistake she may anticipate (without sufficient objective evidence) an impatient, angry reaction from her male Boomer colleague akin to the abrupt and critical temperament of her father.
Also important to note, this displacement or transference reaction is more likely to be triggered or exaggerated when a person is under intensely acute or chronic levels of stress.
2. Authority-Role-Status Shift. When a person relatively young in age subsumes an authority position he or she will oftentimes experience discomfort; this individual may even feel like an impostor. Or, this person may feel more confident in technical knowledge than in interpersonal skills. When the role involves coaching or “Gentoring” a senior colleague who may well be feeling: a) anxious about computer/communication technology, b) belittled by the age differential and perceived authority-status reversal and/or c) defensive and dismissive of anything meaningful to be gained from a learning process with an inexperienced or “immature” younger colleague. (Remember, that senior colleague may fear for his job security and see the Gentor as a definite threat in this “Brave New Techno-World.”)
”Whew! That Gen Xer or Y has entered the lion’s den. And I can quickly imagine two problematic extremes. The young trainer: a) is intimidated by the role and roar, as well as the defensive or aggressive body language, of the older lion and does not really engage, coax and coach and/or b) covers up feelings of insecurity with an analytical or hard-line, “show them who is boss” and “crack the whip” approach. This process likely yields a head and ego butting outcome, once again confirming the senior’s resistance to computer learning. Of course, another possibility is the idealistic yet naïve trainer who believes her energy and enthusiasm will win over the older colleague, who is reachable despite his or her lion or lizard skin. (Sometimes this happens; more often I’ve observed a disillusioned rescuer.)
3. Thin-Skinned and a Shortened Span. Another challenge for these youthful “Gentors” is the perception that this digital generation, especially the Millennials, are overly sensitive to criticism or overly dependent on the need for approval; they forever want to know “how am I doing?” Some attribute these “immature” qualities to a “friendship” and “collaborative”-based partnership with their parents and other significant adults, including teachers. (Then again, some would call this parent-authority dynamic as “coddling” and “hovering,” demonstrating insufficient boundary setting at the relationship core.)
Is Virtuality Reality?
Of course, related to the need for continuous feedback, if not reassurance, is the fact this digital generation has grown up with instantaneous feedback at the push of a button. And while this provides many advantages regarding multiple and simultaneous data processing it also seems to cultivate some problems such as impatience, low frustration tolerance, and at times a limited ability to concentrate and sustain focus. This multimedia generation has been accused of scanning more than understanding. And naturally a Gentoring relationship will put a thin skin and a short attention span to the test.
Is Reality Virtuality?
However, before moving on, it’s worth noting that the younger generation’s (or at least a large segment’s) ability to interminably play video games seems to put any blanket assumptions about scanning and spanning into question. Deserving further consideration is whether span of attention, information processing and understanding is impacted when the digital-ager is placed in a passive or traditional learning situation compared to one that is interactive and provides some “game control” of the engagement process.
4. Rights and Responsibilities, Structure and Freedom. An oft heard cry is that today’s youth feel entitled to their “rights” without earning or shouldering “responsibilities.” And certainly this younger generation cannot step back into the “Sixties” with all of its trailblazing trials and triumphs along with its escapist excesses and errors. But perhaps the issue is not so black and white. Gen Xers and Ys often do want structure regarding what they are supposed to do and feedback of their progress, with timely rewards, or at least the possibility of “working smarter not harder.” Maybe they are not so independent. Then again, in an age that is so networked and multi-connected, perhaps the goal needs to be more interdependence than being the “Lone Ranger or Rangerette.” Yet within the provided structure, this younger generation often wants the freedom to figure out how they will reach the expected outcome. They want to put their own signature on the project or product.
Of course, this need for feedback and individual expression may generate some pushback from an organization run by workplace norms or from colleagues who’ve adapted to “No news is good news” and who espouse the motivational mantra, There’s no “I” in team.
When “I”s Must “C”: The Necessity for Individual and Interactive Vision
As previously cited, I don’t know if it’s my own ego needs or an appreciation of the complexity of group process-motivation that keeps me from unconditionally embracing the above oft-quoted saying. I’ve amended the motivational mantra, thusly: There May Be No “I” in Team”…but there Are Two “I”s in Winning! And while there are several interpretive possibilities, let’s go with a “letteral” one – the winning “I”s stand for “Interactivity” and “Individuality.” And these “I”s definitely “C”: Highly motivated and morale-driven teams are a dynamic if not paradoxical blend of “Individual Creativity” and “Interactive Community.” So the visionary challenge for today’s workplace, not just for launching a Gentoring program, is getting all generations to buy-in to the need for some idiosyncratic expression and design within an overriding mission-based, interdependent and team-oriented community. And if the digitals and dinos don’t quite speak the same language, how will “we all just get along?”
Can You Have Idiosyncrasy and Inclusion?
Also interesting is that while this younger contingent wants room for individual expression and idiosyncrasy, they also eschew more than previous generations a “win-lose” sense of competition. Their modus operandi seems to value trying and embracing recognition if not rewards for all. And while Millennials especially have been ridiculed for all this “we are the world” fuzziness, their sense of inclusion has also fostered greater multicultural acceptance and understanding than previous generations.
5. Communication across the Generational Divide. On one side of the digital divide is a generation that expects to be heard and wants instant feedback; on the other are folks socialized on the benefits of no news, top down communication and the Chain of Command. And we also have the potential for errors of omission and commission. Regarding the former, what happens when today’s younger generation who often “interpret silence as criticism” interact with more senior, privacy conscious, “no news is good news” colleagues…You think there’s potential for “message sent not being the message received?” Duh!!!
Corrupting the Language vs. Cracking the Code
As for the commission conundrum, are you now required to Tweet, blog, or use a mobile device with apps to do your job? Senior eyes increasingly glaze over as the younger workforce texts requests from the home office using acronyms and abbreviations that would have given even a late 20th century high school English teacher Anaphylactic shock? Conversely, how frustrating is it to be the fresh-out-of-college worker trying to crack the “inside code” of the experienced team members? And all too often being hurtled or beamed across the divide are spear-or laser-like antagonisms, such as, “This is how we've always done it, “Wake up and smell the politics,” “Stop being so resistant,” or "They just don't get it”?
Closing Summary
This essay has outlined “Five Gen X and Gen Y Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons”:
1. Family Dynamics
2. Authority-Role-Status Shift
3. Thin-Skinned and a Shortened Span
4. Rights and Responsibilities, Structure and Freedom
5. Communication across the Generational Divide
Gentoring Dangers and Opportunities
Certainly these are real challenges to a Gentoring, trial and error start-up. But we don’t wish to end on a despairing note; there’s a potential pass in the generational-digital impasse. As this series has documented, when the younger generation ("Internet Native" to quote NY Times blogger, Nick Bilton) helps a computer or social media averse member of an earlier generation ("Internet Immigrant") improve their techno-literacy and comfort-level, the former is playing the role of “Gentor.” (Naturally, it’s a play on “mentor.”). And this digital generation likes being consultants. Hopefully, this collaborative relationship will also increase Gen Xers’ and Millennials’ sense of responsibility and commitment to their colleagues and to the company. And while senior workers can give their younger co-workers some of the recognition and affirmation that provides motivational meaning, productive cross-fertilization requires mutual learning and sharing; especially by loosening role-status barriers while building two-way communicational bridges.
Final Preview
So the final segment will illustrate tools and techniques for the younger generation guiding their anxious seniors across the digital divide. But you will also discover emotional and interpersonal skills for helping the more senior generation "Mentor" their younger colleagues in areas such as institutional wisdom, career progress and office politics, as well as workplace values/norms. With a mutual coaching process and some Stress Doc orchestration, Traditionals and Boomers will find it easier to harmonize generationally, to accept digital/social-media skill-building lessons from their juniors and may even better appreciate some of the idiosyncratic Gen X and Gen Y values and ways.
So stay tuned for, “Starting a Mentoring-Gentoring ™ System: Transforming the Generational-Digital Divide into a Mutual Knowledge and Skill-Building Partnership (across the Age-Experience Spectrum).” Until then…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Showing posts with label Professional Wisdom and Mentoring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Professional Wisdom and Mentoring. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Starting a Mentoring-Gentoring ™ System: Transforming the Generational-Digital Divide into a Mutual Knowledge and Skill-Building Partnership
Starting a Mentoring-Gentoring ™ System: Transforming the Generational-Digital Divide into a Mutual Knowledge and Skill-Building Partnership (across the Age-Experience Spectrum)
or
Enabling the Young Mail Clerk to Teach Even the Senior Executive or Partner about the Marketing Magic of Facebook (while helping the clerk learn some Boomer Basics)
Many workforces today face generational challenges. The Traditionals and Baby Boomers and even some Gen Xers have different experiences, especially when it comes to technology and communication. This is leading to increased levels of workplace stress and frustration across the age-knowledge-experience spectrum. Have no fear...the Stress Doc ™ is here!
Call Webster's (or Dictionary.com), a New Concept is Born
In response to a "Bridging Generational Communication" workshop with a major DC Public Utility, the Stress Doc recently invented the concepts of Gentor ™and Gentoring ™. (Email for essay.) When a younger employee ("Internet Native" to quote NY Times blogger, Nick Bilton) helps a computer or social media averse member of an earlier generation ("Internet Immigrant") improve their techno-literacy and comfort-level, the former is playing the role of “Gentor.” (Naturally, a play on “mentor.”) And while "Gentoring" may invert authority-status roles and sound original, challenging and hip, it's in the footsteps of a time-honored tradition of role-status socialization, knowledge sharing, identity formation and facilitating a vital rite of passage.
Ready for Yin-Yang Synergy in Your Workplace?
And building on this idea, let the Stress Doc help you "Start a Mentoring-Gentoring System: Transform the Generational-Digital Divide into a Knowledge and Skill-Building Partnership across the Age-Experience Spectrum." Productive cross-fertilization requires mutual learning and sharing. Learn to loosen role-status barriers while building two-way communicational bridges. Discover emotional and interpersonal skills for helping the more senior generation "Mentor" their younger colleagues in areas such as institutional wisdom, career progress and office politics, and workplace values/norms. With mutual coaching and Stress Doc orchestration, Traditionals and Boomers will find it easier to accept digital/social-media skill-building lessons from their juniors and may even better appreciate some of the idiosyncratic Gen X and Gen Y values and ways.
There's a new "Team Motivational Mantra": There's No "I" in Team...But there Are Two "I"s in Winning! And these two "I"s definitely "C": blending "Individual Creativity" and "Interactive Community."
Do You Need a “Gentoring Program” in Your Workplace?
What generational-communicational gaps or challenges do you face in your place of business? Are you now required to Tweet, blog, or use a mobile device with apps to do your job? Do your eyes glaze over as the younger workforcre texts you requests from the home office using acronyms and abbreviations that would have given your high school English teacher Anaphylactic shock? And how frustrating is it to be the fresh-out-of-college worker trying to crack the code of the experienced team members. Are you tired of the phrases, “This is how we’ve always done it" or "They just don't get it”?
The younger generation likes being consultants, and hopefully this collaborative relationship will also increase their sense of responsibility and commitment to their colleagues and to the company. Senior workers can give their younger co-workers some of the recognition and affirmation that provides motivational meaning. Sounds like a win-win generational-communicational bridge that will help one and all. If you'd like to Practice Safe Stress and strengthen workplace motivation and morale, the Stress Doc can organize a generation bridge-team building workshop or retreat that will span the generational-digital and team-agency-company divide.
Discover the Stress Doc’s acclaimed interactive and inspiring “playshop” experience:
1) supplement the younger employee’s digital facility with upgraded and FUN psychological, communicational-empathic and interpersonal-interactive tools along with "hands on," real world exercises,
2) reduce anxiety and lower resistance to new learning,
3) help computer or social/multimedia averse members of earlier generations improve their techno-literacy and comfort,
4) reduce generational-cultural power struggles by enabling seniors to vent playfully their frustration with their generational juniors while facilitating Gentoring and Mentoring experiences across the divide.
Finally, remember, people are more open to a serious message that’s gift wrapped with humor…So, "Don't Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur" and build a Gentoring Network to “partner” with the employee who is more techno-lizard than wizard and bridge the "dino-digital divide."
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
or
Enabling the Young Mail Clerk to Teach Even the Senior Executive or Partner about the Marketing Magic of Facebook (while helping the clerk learn some Boomer Basics)
Many workforces today face generational challenges. The Traditionals and Baby Boomers and even some Gen Xers have different experiences, especially when it comes to technology and communication. This is leading to increased levels of workplace stress and frustration across the age-knowledge-experience spectrum. Have no fear...the Stress Doc ™ is here!
Call Webster's (or Dictionary.com), a New Concept is Born
In response to a "Bridging Generational Communication" workshop with a major DC Public Utility, the Stress Doc recently invented the concepts of Gentor ™and Gentoring ™. (Email for essay.) When a younger employee ("Internet Native" to quote NY Times blogger, Nick Bilton) helps a computer or social media averse member of an earlier generation ("Internet Immigrant") improve their techno-literacy and comfort-level, the former is playing the role of “Gentor.” (Naturally, a play on “mentor.”) And while "Gentoring" may invert authority-status roles and sound original, challenging and hip, it's in the footsteps of a time-honored tradition of role-status socialization, knowledge sharing, identity formation and facilitating a vital rite of passage.
Ready for Yin-Yang Synergy in Your Workplace?
And building on this idea, let the Stress Doc help you "Start a Mentoring-Gentoring System: Transform the Generational-Digital Divide into a Knowledge and Skill-Building Partnership across the Age-Experience Spectrum." Productive cross-fertilization requires mutual learning and sharing. Learn to loosen role-status barriers while building two-way communicational bridges. Discover emotional and interpersonal skills for helping the more senior generation "Mentor" their younger colleagues in areas such as institutional wisdom, career progress and office politics, and workplace values/norms. With mutual coaching and Stress Doc orchestration, Traditionals and Boomers will find it easier to accept digital/social-media skill-building lessons from their juniors and may even better appreciate some of the idiosyncratic Gen X and Gen Y values and ways.
There's a new "Team Motivational Mantra": There's No "I" in Team...But there Are Two "I"s in Winning! And these two "I"s definitely "C": blending "Individual Creativity" and "Interactive Community."
Do You Need a “Gentoring Program” in Your Workplace?
What generational-communicational gaps or challenges do you face in your place of business? Are you now required to Tweet, blog, or use a mobile device with apps to do your job? Do your eyes glaze over as the younger workforcre texts you requests from the home office using acronyms and abbreviations that would have given your high school English teacher Anaphylactic shock? And how frustrating is it to be the fresh-out-of-college worker trying to crack the code of the experienced team members. Are you tired of the phrases, “This is how we’ve always done it" or "They just don't get it”?
The younger generation likes being consultants, and hopefully this collaborative relationship will also increase their sense of responsibility and commitment to their colleagues and to the company. Senior workers can give their younger co-workers some of the recognition and affirmation that provides motivational meaning. Sounds like a win-win generational-communicational bridge that will help one and all. If you'd like to Practice Safe Stress and strengthen workplace motivation and morale, the Stress Doc can organize a generation bridge-team building workshop or retreat that will span the generational-digital and team-agency-company divide.
Discover the Stress Doc’s acclaimed interactive and inspiring “playshop” experience:
1) supplement the younger employee’s digital facility with upgraded and FUN psychological, communicational-empathic and interpersonal-interactive tools along with "hands on," real world exercises,
2) reduce anxiety and lower resistance to new learning,
3) help computer or social/multimedia averse members of earlier generations improve their techno-literacy and comfort,
4) reduce generational-cultural power struggles by enabling seniors to vent playfully their frustration with their generational juniors while facilitating Gentoring and Mentoring experiences across the divide.
Finally, remember, people are more open to a serious message that’s gift wrapped with humor…So, "Don't Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur" and build a Gentoring Network to “partner” with the employee who is more techno-lizard than wizard and bridge the "dino-digital divide."
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Friday, March 11, 2011
“Gentoring” ™: Barriers to Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide – Traditionals and Boomer ‘Hot Buttons’” – Part III
In the aftermath of a recent “Bridging Generational Communication” workshop with a major DC utility, I coined two new concepts – “Gentor” ™ and “Gentoring” ™. (My Webmaster frequently notes how Spell-check is not impressed by my wordsmith proclivities!) And a showcase essay, “Gentoring” ™: Building a New Mentoring Role for Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide or “Don’t Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur!,” suggested drawing on the digital generations’ computer and multimedia facility to coax and coach an older generation of employees, helping their seniors become more technologically friendly and fluent. Clearly, expanding computer-Internet-multimedia competency is critical in today’s world. (Email stressdoc@aol.com if you missed this essay, or check my “Google Blob”:
Now let’s consider some of the possible psychological and interpersonal as well as organizational and socio-cultural (including current economic) dangers and opportunities in designing and implementing a Gentoring program. First an examination of likely “hot button” issues for Traditionals (born before 1945) and Boomers (born 1945 to 1964) reluctant to cross the “techno lizard-digital wizard” divide yet potentially being techno-coached by GenXers and Millennials (born after 1965). The initial “Five of Ten Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons”:
1. Initial Denial, Dismissive or Disruptive Reaction
2. Authority-Status Shift
3. Family Dynamics
4. Jealousy, Displacement and Acting Out
5. Inadequacy and the “Intimate FOE”
Now for the final “Five Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons”:
6. Feeling Abandoned and Obsolete. Gentoring processes are often needed, if not implemented, during times of major organizational-operational change. And as I witnessed firsthand, just mixing generations, skillsets and cultures together during a period of uncertain job ebb and flow can produce a volatile reaction. Let me provide a most dramatic example from the mid-90s. During agency reorganization, a division of skilled crafts professionals were let go by one federal agency (located at a modern suburban campus) and were temporarily assigned to the dark and dank cavernous belly of the beast…the basement of the Department of Commerce. At the same time, these professionals, mostly senior white males (Traditionals and Boomers), were being threatened on two other fronts: (a) the possible loss of jobs through computerization and privatization (that is, allowing private industry to bid for federal contracts), and (b) the recent influx of younger women and racial minorities into the shop (who were more savvy with computers than the old-timers). Not surprisingly, during this vulnerable period, racial tension was rising and tempers were flaring. Some folks started pulling up KKK websites; others began bringing Louis Farrakhan tapes to work. And upper management didn't know how to handle this transitional tempest…So they employed the ostrich defense, burying their heads in the operational sands.
Stress Doc to the Rescue
It wasn't until an EEO analyst realized the government was hemorrhaging thousands and thousands (potentially hundreds of thousands) of dollars in formal grievance procedures that I was brought in to stop the bleeding and prevent full-scale escalation. In this critical situation, one-on-one interviews were bypassed; however, we held several face-to-face meetings between labor and management. We moved quickly into a full-day stress and anger management workshop with all parties. After two intense and successful workshops, involving culturally diverse small groups and conflict resolution and camaraderie-building exercises, came a series of post-workshop team building interventions. (The grievance hemorrhaging ceased much to the government’s budgetary relief. Ultimately, many of the older employees retired and accepted a moderate buyout.) While this is an extreme case scenario, having younger folks Gentoring older individuals, especially during a tight economy and “lean and mean” job uncertainty or tightened career advancement, can surely contribute to an edgy learning dynamic.
7. Differential Reactions and Usage among the Generations. Overall, the Traditionals are the least comfortable and computer savvy across the digital divide. These folks definitely need coaching, though significant numbers of older Boomers are not much more fluent. (And even some GenXers compared to Milennial Mavens and the upcoming generation – Multi-MIDS ™: Multi-Media Instantaneous Digitals – seem more techno-lizard than wizard.) Actually, Boomers, in general, often view our ever-increasing dependence on computers and technology as a “mixed bag.” I myself have referred to the “e” in e-mail as really standing for “escape.” That is, people of all generations, but especially GenXers and Ys often actively avoid face-to-face (f2f) communication, especially during times of interpersonal conflict. (And the dangers of attempting to clarify or work out misunderstandings and conflicts virtually are glaringly obvious. Attitude and tone can jump off the screen without the benefit of contextual body language, facial gestures and live give-and-take.)
Generational Communication Styles and Substance
Clearly, the various generations have differentially adopted and adapted to the new communication/multimedia options like Skype and Smart Phone Apps to Kindles and I-Pads. Many in the earlier generations don’t understand the need for “Facebook Friends,” nor do they approve of endless tweeting and texting. Speaking of communication preferences, my cousin is a Boomer whose job requires coordinating with vendors around the globe. She finds that vendors of the younger generations basically will not answer their phones; they only respond to or send texts and emails. Again, face-to-face or voice-to-voice is being replaced by a less personal, more virtual exchange; it’s a source of consternation for many, especially those endorsing “Practice Safe Text” or not enamored with “the art of the short but sweet tweet” and other forms of social media.
8. Miscellaneous Hot Button Issues. Four “hot button” issues have become everyday dividers:
a) Focused Attention. Seniors questioning their juniors’ ability to sustain focused attention on a task or solving a problem; the boredom-frustration tolerance threshold seems to be progressively lowering; while this pattern may seem more pronounced for the more youthful employees, once you get plugged into “high speed” technology, waiting becomes more onerous for just about everyone,
b) Scanning vs. Understanding. Gen X and especially Gen Y/Millennials looking for quick (and Trads & Booms, and even GenXers might say) superficial responses or scanning at the expense of more thoughtful, careful and solid trial and error, understanding and/or deliberate problem solving, and
c) Entitlements vs. Earnings. I recall a Boomer business owner articulating what many of his generation are saying about too many of today’s younger employees: “They want their ‘rights’ without having to earn or shoulder ‘responsibilities’!” Let’s try a historical context. For example, a sense of “entitlement” can be particularly irksome for Boomers who helped pioneer the late-‘60s and ‘70s Women’s Movement. When these groundbreakers perceive younger women taking for granted new found opportunities and especially if Xers and Millennials are unaware of or seem disinterested in the history of the social-economic-political struggles and hard-fought efforts for change by their “older sisters,” real cross-generation frustration can arise.
d) Trophy for Winners vs. Trophy for All. Another common dismissive refrain heard by senior folks is the Millennial notion that everyone gets a trophy just for participation. The concept of merit seems to be getting short shrift. I think the younger generations still has work to do in selling the “soft skills” and “it takes a village” value and meaning of “inclusion” as opposed to a competitive edged world of winners and losers.
9. “E & E” vs. “I & I”. Many in the older generation believe one is productive by combining “Effectiveness” (Doing the right thing) and “Efficiency” (Doing the thing right), along with unselfish team effort. For the latter, the prevailing mantra might be, “There’s No ‘I’ in Team.” Despite their facility and infatuation with “smart technology,” numbers of colleagues see the younger side of the digital divide trumping the pair of “E”s with “I”s, that is, Gen X & Ys need to establish their own “idiosyncratic identity” (not a big surprise in the age of websites, blogging and Facebook). Clearly, doing “your own thing” in a culture extolling “workplace norms” will trigger some tension in-house and across the generational-digital divide. And if not feeling challenged or stimulated, young minds and legs (not to mention mouths) just might be off and running. But don’t despair…the Stress Doc ™ is here with another one of his pithy maxims to improve productivity and morale.
When “I”s can “C”: Individual and Interactive Synergy
While not getting into solutions at this point, let me just say that there are a pair of “I”s that have the potential to be pillars of a generational bridge: “Individuality” and “Interactivity.” As a brief explanation, for example, I’ve always had a somewhat unsettled feeling about the above truism, “There’s No ‘I’ in Team.” I don’t know if it’s my own ego needs or an appreciation of the complexity of group process-motivation that keeps me from unconditionally embracing the oft-quoted saying. I’ve amended the motivational mantra, thusly: There May Be No “I” in Team”…but there Are Two “I”s in Winning! And while there are several interpretive possibilities, let’s go with one that allows our “I”s to “C”: highly motivated and morale-driven teams possess two winning “I”s that are a dynamic if not paradoxical blend of “Individual Creativity” and “Interactive Community.”
Benefits of Blending Creativity and Community
If we can develop a team and workplace atmosphere that:
a) encourages individual and team exploration and innovation,
b) helps the larger community open up to new perspectives and meaningful innovation – through “flexibly focused” yet “out of the box” experimentation trials; remember, creative minds tend to gravitate toward the edge of chaos, then pull (or may need to be pulled) back,
c) challenges/supports the mind-opening maverick to engage with the “Tried (and) True (while also generating the) New” (to borrow a theme from my Metro DC-NASW Chapter’s recent Social Work conference), and
d) helps nurture a stronger sense of commitment by the “individual creator” to colleagues, collectives and the company – generating a mutual, optimally stimulating “interactive community” – then we are linking and playing generational win-win hands.
10. Culture of Authority. Popular psycho-cultural commentator, Malcolm Gladwell, in Outliers: The Story of Success (2008), shares a vignette that has great significance for “hot button” barriers across the generational divide. In the 1980s, the Columbian and Korean airlines were reporting a statistically aberrant (high) number of fatal air crashes. Typically, there were two people in the cockpit, the senior pilot and the co-pilot, a junior officer. As it turned out, who was flying the airplane proved extremely relevant to the forensic investigation. Any ideas why? Well, the older, senior officer was flying the plane and, no, the problem wasn’t the pilot being too casual. The problem was cultural and status/age-related in nature. The junior pilot was the navigator. Upon first sensing trouble, he was not able to decisively-aggressively warn his older colleague that the latter was placing the craft in danger, about to make a fatal mistake, e.g., flying toward a cloud covered mountain. According to the “black box” and control tower records, by the time the co-pilots warnings took on a sufficiently urgent tone, if they ever did, it was too late. Ingrained in the junior pilots of these countries was a culture of subservience to authority and age, including indirectness and subtlety in all manner of verbal and nonverbal communication. Sometimes, the junior navigator ignored the visual gauge evidence, assuming that the pilot (because of his seniority) must know what he’s doing. It was not his role to contradict the authority. Whatever the thought-behavior pattern, the result was junior pilot passivity and lack of decisive intervention in the face of critical danger.
A Down to Earth Example
Ironically, and fortunately, I experienced a less dramatic example of this cultural dynamic during training with soldiers at Ft. Hood. A twenty-something male soldier shared having problems explaining to his senior officer why there were some operational delays in moving stock from a warehouse. (And it was this sharing that prompted my telling the above Outliers vignette.) At the end of the training, after most of the soldiers had filed out, the soldier came up to me and said, “Your story had a lot of meaning for me…I was born in Columbia!”
Gentoring and the PDI
So what are the implications of this critical-cultural story and Gentoring? Clearly, when younger employees are partnering with more senior employees one must be aware of multicultural sensitivities, socialization sensibilities and emotionally charged values, especially related to the Triple “A” – Authority-Age-Aggression. Actually, Gladwell mentions a research concept, the “Power Distance Index” (PDI) as underlying whether communication between generations of various cultures is assertive and direct or passive and indirect. He poses three influential questions:
1) how much a particular culture value and respect authority?
2) how afraid are employees to express disagreement with superiors?
3) do individuals/subordinates expect and accept that power is distributed unequally? (For example, one might say that the once prevailing cultural PDI is certainly being challenged across the Middle East.)
What’s the PDI ambiance in your organization or shop? It will definitely influence the quality of your generational bridge, and could well make or break a Gentoring Program! Actually, a rigid or intimidating PDI ambiance can stifle open communication and effective coordination within and throughout all organizational levels.
Oh yes, one final footnote: All Korean pilots eventually received Western style “assertiveness training” and in a triumph of “nurture over (cultural) nature” their safety records soon matched the industry standard.
Closing Summary
“Gentoring” ™: Barriers to Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide – Traditionals and Boomer ‘Hot Buttons’” – Parts II and III have highlighted potential psychological and interpersonal as well as organizational and socio-cultural (including current economic) “hot button” issues for Traditionals (born before 1945) and Boomers (born 1945 to 1964) reluctant to partner with their younger, digital savvy colleagues. Clearly, in today’s workplace and society overall, crossing the dinosaur-digital divide is mission and morale critical. The “Ten Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons” for designing and implementing a Gentoring program are:
1. Initial Denial, Dismissive or Disruptive Reaction
2. Authority-Status Shift
3. Family Dynamics
4. Jealousy, Displacement and Acting Out
5. Inadequacy and the “Intimate FOE”
6. Feeling Abandoned and Obsolete
7. Differential Reactions and Usage among the Generations
8. Miscellaneous Hot Button Issues
9. “E & E” vs. ” I & I”
10. Culture of Authority
And Part IV will examine “hot buttons” for Gen Xers and Millennials when having to Gentor the computer averse or stressed of the more senior generations. Until then… Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Now let’s consider some of the possible psychological and interpersonal as well as organizational and socio-cultural (including current economic) dangers and opportunities in designing and implementing a Gentoring program. First an examination of likely “hot button” issues for Traditionals (born before 1945) and Boomers (born 1945 to 1964) reluctant to cross the “techno lizard-digital wizard” divide yet potentially being techno-coached by GenXers and Millennials (born after 1965). The initial “Five of Ten Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons”:
1. Initial Denial, Dismissive or Disruptive Reaction
2. Authority-Status Shift
3. Family Dynamics
4. Jealousy, Displacement and Acting Out
5. Inadequacy and the “Intimate FOE”
Now for the final “Five Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons”:
6. Feeling Abandoned and Obsolete. Gentoring processes are often needed, if not implemented, during times of major organizational-operational change. And as I witnessed firsthand, just mixing generations, skillsets and cultures together during a period of uncertain job ebb and flow can produce a volatile reaction. Let me provide a most dramatic example from the mid-90s. During agency reorganization, a division of skilled crafts professionals were let go by one federal agency (located at a modern suburban campus) and were temporarily assigned to the dark and dank cavernous belly of the beast…the basement of the Department of Commerce. At the same time, these professionals, mostly senior white males (Traditionals and Boomers), were being threatened on two other fronts: (a) the possible loss of jobs through computerization and privatization (that is, allowing private industry to bid for federal contracts), and (b) the recent influx of younger women and racial minorities into the shop (who were more savvy with computers than the old-timers). Not surprisingly, during this vulnerable period, racial tension was rising and tempers were flaring. Some folks started pulling up KKK websites; others began bringing Louis Farrakhan tapes to work. And upper management didn't know how to handle this transitional tempest…So they employed the ostrich defense, burying their heads in the operational sands.
Stress Doc to the Rescue
It wasn't until an EEO analyst realized the government was hemorrhaging thousands and thousands (potentially hundreds of thousands) of dollars in formal grievance procedures that I was brought in to stop the bleeding and prevent full-scale escalation. In this critical situation, one-on-one interviews were bypassed; however, we held several face-to-face meetings between labor and management. We moved quickly into a full-day stress and anger management workshop with all parties. After two intense and successful workshops, involving culturally diverse small groups and conflict resolution and camaraderie-building exercises, came a series of post-workshop team building interventions. (The grievance hemorrhaging ceased much to the government’s budgetary relief. Ultimately, many of the older employees retired and accepted a moderate buyout.) While this is an extreme case scenario, having younger folks Gentoring older individuals, especially during a tight economy and “lean and mean” job uncertainty or tightened career advancement, can surely contribute to an edgy learning dynamic.
7. Differential Reactions and Usage among the Generations. Overall, the Traditionals are the least comfortable and computer savvy across the digital divide. These folks definitely need coaching, though significant numbers of older Boomers are not much more fluent. (And even some GenXers compared to Milennial Mavens and the upcoming generation – Multi-MIDS ™: Multi-Media Instantaneous Digitals – seem more techno-lizard than wizard.) Actually, Boomers, in general, often view our ever-increasing dependence on computers and technology as a “mixed bag.” I myself have referred to the “e” in e-mail as really standing for “escape.” That is, people of all generations, but especially GenXers and Ys often actively avoid face-to-face (f2f) communication, especially during times of interpersonal conflict. (And the dangers of attempting to clarify or work out misunderstandings and conflicts virtually are glaringly obvious. Attitude and tone can jump off the screen without the benefit of contextual body language, facial gestures and live give-and-take.)
Generational Communication Styles and Substance
Clearly, the various generations have differentially adopted and adapted to the new communication/multimedia options like Skype and Smart Phone Apps to Kindles and I-Pads. Many in the earlier generations don’t understand the need for “Facebook Friends,” nor do they approve of endless tweeting and texting. Speaking of communication preferences, my cousin is a Boomer whose job requires coordinating with vendors around the globe. She finds that vendors of the younger generations basically will not answer their phones; they only respond to or send texts and emails. Again, face-to-face or voice-to-voice is being replaced by a less personal, more virtual exchange; it’s a source of consternation for many, especially those endorsing “Practice Safe Text” or not enamored with “the art of the short but sweet tweet” and other forms of social media.
8. Miscellaneous Hot Button Issues. Four “hot button” issues have become everyday dividers:
a) Focused Attention. Seniors questioning their juniors’ ability to sustain focused attention on a task or solving a problem; the boredom-frustration tolerance threshold seems to be progressively lowering; while this pattern may seem more pronounced for the more youthful employees, once you get plugged into “high speed” technology, waiting becomes more onerous for just about everyone,
b) Scanning vs. Understanding. Gen X and especially Gen Y/Millennials looking for quick (and Trads & Booms, and even GenXers might say) superficial responses or scanning at the expense of more thoughtful, careful and solid trial and error, understanding and/or deliberate problem solving, and
c) Entitlements vs. Earnings. I recall a Boomer business owner articulating what many of his generation are saying about too many of today’s younger employees: “They want their ‘rights’ without having to earn or shoulder ‘responsibilities’!” Let’s try a historical context. For example, a sense of “entitlement” can be particularly irksome for Boomers who helped pioneer the late-‘60s and ‘70s Women’s Movement. When these groundbreakers perceive younger women taking for granted new found opportunities and especially if Xers and Millennials are unaware of or seem disinterested in the history of the social-economic-political struggles and hard-fought efforts for change by their “older sisters,” real cross-generation frustration can arise.
d) Trophy for Winners vs. Trophy for All. Another common dismissive refrain heard by senior folks is the Millennial notion that everyone gets a trophy just for participation. The concept of merit seems to be getting short shrift. I think the younger generations still has work to do in selling the “soft skills” and “it takes a village” value and meaning of “inclusion” as opposed to a competitive edged world of winners and losers.
9. “E & E” vs. “I & I”. Many in the older generation believe one is productive by combining “Effectiveness” (Doing the right thing) and “Efficiency” (Doing the thing right), along with unselfish team effort. For the latter, the prevailing mantra might be, “There’s No ‘I’ in Team.” Despite their facility and infatuation with “smart technology,” numbers of colleagues see the younger side of the digital divide trumping the pair of “E”s with “I”s, that is, Gen X & Ys need to establish their own “idiosyncratic identity” (not a big surprise in the age of websites, blogging and Facebook). Clearly, doing “your own thing” in a culture extolling “workplace norms” will trigger some tension in-house and across the generational-digital divide. And if not feeling challenged or stimulated, young minds and legs (not to mention mouths) just might be off and running. But don’t despair…the Stress Doc ™ is here with another one of his pithy maxims to improve productivity and morale.
When “I”s can “C”: Individual and Interactive Synergy
While not getting into solutions at this point, let me just say that there are a pair of “I”s that have the potential to be pillars of a generational bridge: “Individuality” and “Interactivity.” As a brief explanation, for example, I’ve always had a somewhat unsettled feeling about the above truism, “There’s No ‘I’ in Team.” I don’t know if it’s my own ego needs or an appreciation of the complexity of group process-motivation that keeps me from unconditionally embracing the oft-quoted saying. I’ve amended the motivational mantra, thusly: There May Be No “I” in Team”…but there Are Two “I”s in Winning! And while there are several interpretive possibilities, let’s go with one that allows our “I”s to “C”: highly motivated and morale-driven teams possess two winning “I”s that are a dynamic if not paradoxical blend of “Individual Creativity” and “Interactive Community.”
Benefits of Blending Creativity and Community
If we can develop a team and workplace atmosphere that:
a) encourages individual and team exploration and innovation,
b) helps the larger community open up to new perspectives and meaningful innovation – through “flexibly focused” yet “out of the box” experimentation trials; remember, creative minds tend to gravitate toward the edge of chaos, then pull (or may need to be pulled) back,
c) challenges/supports the mind-opening maverick to engage with the “Tried (and) True (while also generating the) New” (to borrow a theme from my Metro DC-NASW Chapter’s recent Social Work conference), and
d) helps nurture a stronger sense of commitment by the “individual creator” to colleagues, collectives and the company – generating a mutual, optimally stimulating “interactive community” – then we are linking and playing generational win-win hands.
10. Culture of Authority. Popular psycho-cultural commentator, Malcolm Gladwell, in Outliers: The Story of Success (2008), shares a vignette that has great significance for “hot button” barriers across the generational divide. In the 1980s, the Columbian and Korean airlines were reporting a statistically aberrant (high) number of fatal air crashes. Typically, there were two people in the cockpit, the senior pilot and the co-pilot, a junior officer. As it turned out, who was flying the airplane proved extremely relevant to the forensic investigation. Any ideas why? Well, the older, senior officer was flying the plane and, no, the problem wasn’t the pilot being too casual. The problem was cultural and status/age-related in nature. The junior pilot was the navigator. Upon first sensing trouble, he was not able to decisively-aggressively warn his older colleague that the latter was placing the craft in danger, about to make a fatal mistake, e.g., flying toward a cloud covered mountain. According to the “black box” and control tower records, by the time the co-pilots warnings took on a sufficiently urgent tone, if they ever did, it was too late. Ingrained in the junior pilots of these countries was a culture of subservience to authority and age, including indirectness and subtlety in all manner of verbal and nonverbal communication. Sometimes, the junior navigator ignored the visual gauge evidence, assuming that the pilot (because of his seniority) must know what he’s doing. It was not his role to contradict the authority. Whatever the thought-behavior pattern, the result was junior pilot passivity and lack of decisive intervention in the face of critical danger.
A Down to Earth Example
Ironically, and fortunately, I experienced a less dramatic example of this cultural dynamic during training with soldiers at Ft. Hood. A twenty-something male soldier shared having problems explaining to his senior officer why there were some operational delays in moving stock from a warehouse. (And it was this sharing that prompted my telling the above Outliers vignette.) At the end of the training, after most of the soldiers had filed out, the soldier came up to me and said, “Your story had a lot of meaning for me…I was born in Columbia!”
Gentoring and the PDI
So what are the implications of this critical-cultural story and Gentoring? Clearly, when younger employees are partnering with more senior employees one must be aware of multicultural sensitivities, socialization sensibilities and emotionally charged values, especially related to the Triple “A” – Authority-Age-Aggression. Actually, Gladwell mentions a research concept, the “Power Distance Index” (PDI) as underlying whether communication between generations of various cultures is assertive and direct or passive and indirect. He poses three influential questions:
1) how much a particular culture value and respect authority?
2) how afraid are employees to express disagreement with superiors?
3) do individuals/subordinates expect and accept that power is distributed unequally? (For example, one might say that the once prevailing cultural PDI is certainly being challenged across the Middle East.)
What’s the PDI ambiance in your organization or shop? It will definitely influence the quality of your generational bridge, and could well make or break a Gentoring Program! Actually, a rigid or intimidating PDI ambiance can stifle open communication and effective coordination within and throughout all organizational levels.
Oh yes, one final footnote: All Korean pilots eventually received Western style “assertiveness training” and in a triumph of “nurture over (cultural) nature” their safety records soon matched the industry standard.
Closing Summary
“Gentoring” ™: Barriers to Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide – Traditionals and Boomer ‘Hot Buttons’” – Parts II and III have highlighted potential psychological and interpersonal as well as organizational and socio-cultural (including current economic) “hot button” issues for Traditionals (born before 1945) and Boomers (born 1945 to 1964) reluctant to partner with their younger, digital savvy colleagues. Clearly, in today’s workplace and society overall, crossing the dinosaur-digital divide is mission and morale critical. The “Ten Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons” for designing and implementing a Gentoring program are:
1. Initial Denial, Dismissive or Disruptive Reaction
2. Authority-Status Shift
3. Family Dynamics
4. Jealousy, Displacement and Acting Out
5. Inadequacy and the “Intimate FOE”
6. Feeling Abandoned and Obsolete
7. Differential Reactions and Usage among the Generations
8. Miscellaneous Hot Button Issues
9. “E & E” vs. ” I & I”
10. Culture of Authority
And Part IV will examine “hot buttons” for Gen Xers and Millennials when having to Gentor the computer averse or stressed of the more senior generations. Until then… Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
“Gentoring” ™: Barriers to Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide – Traditionals and Boomer ‘Hot Buttons’” – Part II
Hi,
Getting some enthusiastic and thoughtful response to the Gentor ™ and Gentoring ™ concepts:
a) the legal magazine, KNOW, wants to publish my first article (see link below),
b) a Colonel at a military war college wants to brainstorm program ideas re: my "Bridging the Generational Divide" programs,
c) another Colonel and colleague believes, like a good wine, my conceptual products are improving with age,
d) another colleague in the legal field thought the concept, "Hysterical," and can't wait to share with others,
e) a long time reader emailed, Hi Mark, You are so relevant! Always up on the "times." And
f) a colleague and friend, an HR/EEO consultant for a federal govt agency, gently reminded me that, while the phrase "Don't Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur" is cute and catchy, not all will be thrilled by my painting with a broad brush seniors as "digital dinosaurs."
With all of the above in mind, let's push on to Part II and examine potential senior "hot button" issues when crossing the digital-generational divide. Believe me, as a Boomer who is not a technology maven, I'm drawing on many of my own fears, flaws and foibles. Again, any and all feedback is very appreciated. Thanks. Best wishes and good adventures,
Mark
-----------------
“Gentoring” ™: Barriers to Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide – Traditionals and Boomer ‘Hot Buttons’” – Part II
In the aftermath of a recent “Bridging Generational Communication” workshop with a major DC utility, I coined two new concepts – “Gentor” ™ and “Gentoring” ™. (My Webmaster frequently notes how Spell-check is not impressed by my wordsmith proclivities!) And a showcase essay, “Gentoring” ™: Building a New Mentoring Role for Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide or “Don’t Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur!,” suggested drawing on the digital generations’ computer and multimedia facility to coax and coach an older generation of employees, helping their seniors become more technologically friendly and fluent. Clearly, expanding computer-Internet-multimedia competency is critical in today’s world. (Email stressdoc@aol.com if you missed this essay, or check my “Google Blob”:
Click here: Stress Doc: Notes from a Motivational Psychohumorist ™: Speaking/Workshop Program: “Gentoring” ™: Building a New M
or
http://www-stressdoc-com.blogspot.com/2011/02/speakingworkshop-program-gentoring.html .
Now let’s consider some of the possible psychological and interpersonal as well as organizational and socio-cultural (including current economic) dangers and opportunities in designing and implementing a Gentoring program. First an examination of likely “hot button” issues for Traditionals (born before 1945) and Boomers (born 1945 to 1964) reluctant to cross the dinosaur-digital divide yet potentially being techno-coached by GenXers and Millennials (born after 1965). Here are “Five of Ten Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons” – Part I:
1. Initial Denial, Dismissive or Disruptive Reaction. While Gentoring is not formal supervision, I’ve heard enough troubling firsthand accounts of tumultuous early stages of younger supervisor–older supervisee interactions to list this as an early red alert. The more senior employee’s defensive-aggressive reaction – overt or covert – is basically this: “What makes you think that (with your lack of experience, maturity, delusion of competence, etc.) you can teach me anything (of real relevance, meaning, consequence, etc.) or have any authority over me?” This concern about perceived authority and control may surface even if the Gentoring program is voluntary.
2. Authority-Status Shift. The Traditionals and even many of the more senior Boomers grew up with or were socialized by a “Chain of Command” system involving a top-down authority structure and information flow typically based on work-role experience, seniority and status. These folks tend to believe that it takes considerable time and front line experience and accomplishment (as well as knowing the system or political culture) to rise in the ranks, earn your stripes and achieve “managerial” status. All this translates into an expectation that the “Four ‘R’s of Organizational Routine and Responsibility” – Rules, Roles, Rewards and Relationships – be clearly defined, predictable and “by the book” (if not a tad “black or white”). A Gentoring process inverts and, for some, subverts the traditional or conventional authority-role-status relations.
3. Family Dynamics. For both parties across the generational-digital divide, workplace relationships can take on parent-child or older-younger sibling overtones, especially when we consider that for most employees more waking time is spent at work than at home. This kind of role-relationship confusion, for example, a Traditional or Boomer responding to a younger person less as a colleague and more as a child or sibling, in the therapeutic realm is referred to as “transference.” I call the conscious overgeneralization “overt transference” and the unconscious (including visceral, nonverbal) overgeneralization “covert transference.” Conversely, a Gen Xer or Millennial may respond to an older colleague/supervisor as a parental figure or older sibling. For example, if a Gen Y makes a mistake she may anticipate (without sufficient objective evidence) an impatient, angry reaction from her male Boomer colleague akin to the abrupt and critical temperament/behavior of her father.
Also important to note, a transference reaction is more likely to be triggered or exaggerated when a person is under intensely acute or chronic levels of stress. Not only can the role-power inversion be unsettling but Traditionals and Boomers are being asked to jump into the deep end of the pool – increase their computer competency – an inherently stressful knowledge area for many of older generation folks. Hmm...for future cogitation: might we consider the younger generation as both swim coach and life guard?
4. Jealousy, Displacement and Acting Out. If jealous feelings surface there may be several sources fueling this smoldering or charged emotion. Whether the senior party is an employee or a supervisor/manager, he or she may or may not be jealous of the status and skill level, role and power of his or her younger coach or Gentor. However, for the more senior member this relationship may evoke feelings/memories of promotions or advancement opportunities missed or denied (whether fairly or not). Gentoring may also stir up jealousy or resentment for past or present opportunities provided to former or current colleagues.
What this means is that a defensive, unaware or in denial senior learner may well:
a) directly displace his unresolved jealousy or hostile feelings onto the Gentor and/or
b) passive-aggressively act out or resist – from coming late to sessions to being stubbornly silent with, dismissive or negatively skeptical of – the Gentor and Gentoring program.
5. “Inadequacy and the Intimate FOE”. Not surprisingly, overt or passive-aggressive acting out of angst, hostility and rage are frequently smoke signals for core, smoldering emotions and threats:
a) feelings of shame or humiliation, alas, nurtured in childhood, often with a bullying parent, teacher or peer, or even in abusive relations as an adult and
b) having to confront your “Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure,” that is, our persona, mask or public cover will be blown and our shadow side – our lurking, self-perceived inadequacy or incompetency, both in and beyond the realm of technology – will be revealed for all to see.
Stay tuned for Dino-Digital Defenses 6-10. Until then...Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Getting some enthusiastic and thoughtful response to the Gentor ™ and Gentoring ™ concepts:
a) the legal magazine, KNOW, wants to publish my first article (see link below),
b) a Colonel at a military war college wants to brainstorm program ideas re: my "Bridging the Generational Divide" programs,
c) another Colonel and colleague believes, like a good wine, my conceptual products are improving with age,
d) another colleague in the legal field thought the concept, "Hysterical," and can't wait to share with others,
e) a long time reader emailed, Hi Mark, You are so relevant! Always up on the "times." And
f) a colleague and friend, an HR/EEO consultant for a federal govt agency, gently reminded me that, while the phrase "Don't Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur" is cute and catchy, not all will be thrilled by my painting with a broad brush seniors as "digital dinosaurs."
With all of the above in mind, let's push on to Part II and examine potential senior "hot button" issues when crossing the digital-generational divide. Believe me, as a Boomer who is not a technology maven, I'm drawing on many of my own fears, flaws and foibles. Again, any and all feedback is very appreciated. Thanks. Best wishes and good adventures,
Mark
-----------------
“Gentoring” ™: Barriers to Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide – Traditionals and Boomer ‘Hot Buttons’” – Part II
In the aftermath of a recent “Bridging Generational Communication” workshop with a major DC utility, I coined two new concepts – “Gentor” ™ and “Gentoring” ™. (My Webmaster frequently notes how Spell-check is not impressed by my wordsmith proclivities!) And a showcase essay, “Gentoring” ™: Building a New Mentoring Role for Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide or “Don’t Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur!,” suggested drawing on the digital generations’ computer and multimedia facility to coax and coach an older generation of employees, helping their seniors become more technologically friendly and fluent. Clearly, expanding computer-Internet-multimedia competency is critical in today’s world. (Email stressdoc@aol.com if you missed this essay, or check my “Google Blob”:
Click here: Stress Doc: Notes from a Motivational Psychohumorist ™: Speaking/Workshop Program: “Gentoring” ™: Building a New M
or
http://www-stressdoc-com.blogspot.com/2011/02/speakingworkshop-program-gentoring.html .
Now let’s consider some of the possible psychological and interpersonal as well as organizational and socio-cultural (including current economic) dangers and opportunities in designing and implementing a Gentoring program. First an examination of likely “hot button” issues for Traditionals (born before 1945) and Boomers (born 1945 to 1964) reluctant to cross the dinosaur-digital divide yet potentially being techno-coached by GenXers and Millennials (born after 1965). Here are “Five of Ten Dino-Digital Defenses and Hot Buttons” – Part I:
1. Initial Denial, Dismissive or Disruptive Reaction. While Gentoring is not formal supervision, I’ve heard enough troubling firsthand accounts of tumultuous early stages of younger supervisor–older supervisee interactions to list this as an early red alert. The more senior employee’s defensive-aggressive reaction – overt or covert – is basically this: “What makes you think that (with your lack of experience, maturity, delusion of competence, etc.) you can teach me anything (of real relevance, meaning, consequence, etc.) or have any authority over me?” This concern about perceived authority and control may surface even if the Gentoring program is voluntary.
2. Authority-Status Shift. The Traditionals and even many of the more senior Boomers grew up with or were socialized by a “Chain of Command” system involving a top-down authority structure and information flow typically based on work-role experience, seniority and status. These folks tend to believe that it takes considerable time and front line experience and accomplishment (as well as knowing the system or political culture) to rise in the ranks, earn your stripes and achieve “managerial” status. All this translates into an expectation that the “Four ‘R’s of Organizational Routine and Responsibility” – Rules, Roles, Rewards and Relationships – be clearly defined, predictable and “by the book” (if not a tad “black or white”). A Gentoring process inverts and, for some, subverts the traditional or conventional authority-role-status relations.
3. Family Dynamics. For both parties across the generational-digital divide, workplace relationships can take on parent-child or older-younger sibling overtones, especially when we consider that for most employees more waking time is spent at work than at home. This kind of role-relationship confusion, for example, a Traditional or Boomer responding to a younger person less as a colleague and more as a child or sibling, in the therapeutic realm is referred to as “transference.” I call the conscious overgeneralization “overt transference” and the unconscious (including visceral, nonverbal) overgeneralization “covert transference.” Conversely, a Gen Xer or Millennial may respond to an older colleague/supervisor as a parental figure or older sibling. For example, if a Gen Y makes a mistake she may anticipate (without sufficient objective evidence) an impatient, angry reaction from her male Boomer colleague akin to the abrupt and critical temperament/behavior of her father.
Also important to note, a transference reaction is more likely to be triggered or exaggerated when a person is under intensely acute or chronic levels of stress. Not only can the role-power inversion be unsettling but Traditionals and Boomers are being asked to jump into the deep end of the pool – increase their computer competency – an inherently stressful knowledge area for many of older generation folks. Hmm...for future cogitation: might we consider the younger generation as both swim coach and life guard?
4. Jealousy, Displacement and Acting Out. If jealous feelings surface there may be several sources fueling this smoldering or charged emotion. Whether the senior party is an employee or a supervisor/manager, he or she may or may not be jealous of the status and skill level, role and power of his or her younger coach or Gentor. However, for the more senior member this relationship may evoke feelings/memories of promotions or advancement opportunities missed or denied (whether fairly or not). Gentoring may also stir up jealousy or resentment for past or present opportunities provided to former or current colleagues.
What this means is that a defensive, unaware or in denial senior learner may well:
a) directly displace his unresolved jealousy or hostile feelings onto the Gentor and/or
b) passive-aggressively act out or resist – from coming late to sessions to being stubbornly silent with, dismissive or negatively skeptical of – the Gentor and Gentoring program.
5. “Inadequacy and the Intimate FOE”. Not surprisingly, overt or passive-aggressive acting out of angst, hostility and rage are frequently smoke signals for core, smoldering emotions and threats:
a) feelings of shame or humiliation, alas, nurtured in childhood, often with a bullying parent, teacher or peer, or even in abusive relations as an adult and
b) having to confront your “Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure,” that is, our persona, mask or public cover will be blown and our shadow side – our lurking, self-perceived inadequacy or incompetency, both in and beyond the realm of technology – will be revealed for all to see.
Stay tuned for Dino-Digital Defenses 6-10. Until then...Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Speaking/Workshop Program: “Gentoring” ™: Building a New Mentoring Role for Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide
“Gentoring” ™: Building a New Mentoring Role for Bridging the
Generational-Digital Divide or “Don’t Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur!”
In today’s 24/7 always on, multicultural world and workforce, rapidly cycling between constant upgrading and “doing more with less,” creating communication and team coordination bridges among the organizational generations (and among all its culturally diverse components) is mission and morale critical. There’s definitely a need for a wide communication-relationship highway to surmount the digital divide between the Traditionals and Boomers and the Gen Xers and Millenials (not to mention the fast-approaching next generation –- the Multi-MIDS ™ (Multi-Media Instantaneous Digitals). And there’s one generational bridge and new mentoring role ready for operation: Gentoring: Pairing a Gen Xer or Gen Y/Millennial as a coach or mentor (“Gentor” ™) with a more senior and computer/multimedia stressed colleague. Discover the Stress Doc’s acclaimed interactive and inspiring “playshop” experience: supplement the younger employee’s digital facility with upgraded and FUN psychological, communicational and interpersonal-interactive tools and exercises for: a) lowering resistance to new learning and b) helping computer or social/multimedia averse members of earlier generations improve their techno-literacy and comfort. Reduce generational-cultural power struggles by enabling seniors to vent playfully their frustration with their generational juniors while appreciating and learning from the latter’s digital and collaborative fluency. Finally, remember, people are more open to a serious message that’s gift wrapped with humor…So, build a Gentoring Network to “pet and partner” with the dinosaur and bridge the “dinosaur-digital divide.”
Outline/Objectives
A. Overview of Generational Differences and “the Digital Divide”
1. Identify Differences between Generations – Culture, Attitude, Values and Education (Getting Out of the CAVE)
2. Why the Need for Gentoring? Danger and Opportunity on both Sides of the Digital Divide
B. Barriers to Crossing and Connecting the Generational-Digital Divide
1. Fear of Change, Loss of Control and “Confronting the Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure”
2. Intervention in a Generational-Multicultural Workplace Battle Zone: Case Example of Stopping Grievance Procedure Hemorrhaging
C. Psychological-Communicational-Cultural Challenges in the Gentoring Process
1. Psychological Dynamics of Inverting the Authority Role – Recognizing “Hot Buttons” when the Digital Generation (DGs) Partner with or Supervise Traditionals and Boomers (TBs)
2. Exercises for Defusing Power Struggles, Disarming Critical Aggressors, Building Trust and Generating Collaborative Styles of Conflict Resolution (using the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory)
D. Building Generational-Gentoring Bridges across the “Dinosaur-Digital” Divide
1. Benefits of and Necessary Coaching, Active Listening, Empathy and Questioning Skills for One-on-One Gentoring
2. Helping the Generations Appreciate and Value Generational Differences and Commonalities for Creating Yin-Yang Partnership Synergy
-----------------------------
“Gentoring” ™: Building a New Mentoring Role for Bridging the
Generational-Digital Divide or “Don’t Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur!”
This week I led a “Bridging Generational Communication” workshop with a major DC Government utility. The groups of managers and employees (a mix of Boomers and Gen Xers) were asked to identify an area of breakdown in generational relations and then list some problem-solving recommendations. One team focused on how many of the “older” field employees are techno-dinosaurs, at least with computers. And now management wants to put laptops on the trucks so workers can immediately process field reports. Stress and frustration levels are increasing!
I was an observer-participant during this group’s “taming the dinosaur” brainstorm. (My newest mantra: "Don't Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur.") We came up with several recommendations, besides employees attending computer training, including:
1. Have the Mountain Come to Mohammed. Even mandating computer classes at HQ for field employees still might not be the most effective recruiting tool. How about a mobile computer lab traveling to different work sites during the day?
2. One-On-One Computer Coaching. I personally shared my “computer virgin” status in the early ’90s, including struggling with my “Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure.” The smartest thing I did was hire an out of work computer consultant, to sit with me, walk me through key operations, hold my hand as necessary, etc. She came to the office about twice a week for four weeks. I have no doubt that a faster learning curve was my ROI, not to mention the money I saved on anticipated psychotherapy sessions.
3. A Generational Bridge. The group understood the value of personal coaching or mentoring relationship with a potentially anxious or resistant student. One group member discussed the importance of having a trusted colleague as a coach. Clearly, not wanting to feel embarrassed or humiliated was on folks’ minds. Eventually, though, I saw a generational bridge just waiting to be put into operation: how about pairing a Gen Xer or Gen Y/Millennial as a coach or mentor with a more senior and computer stressed colleague? (Naturally, at home the kids can potentially coach the parents, though this might be tricky.)
And later that evening I had a semantic “aha”: a new neologism and “job description” for our multigenerational workplace. When a younger employee helps a computer or social media averse member of a more senior generation improve their techno-literacy and comfort, the former is playing the role of “Gentor.” And the Gentor’s immediate function is to help bridge the digital divide. And while Gentoring may invert authority-status roles and sound original, challenging and hip, it's in the footsteps of a time-honored tradition of socialization, knowledge sharing and facilitating a vital rite of passage.
So get moving on that “Gentoring Program.” The younger generation likes being consultants, and hopefully this relationship will also increase their sense of responsibility and commitment to their colleagues and to the company. And the seniors can give their younger co-workers some of the recognition and affirmation that provides motivational meaning. Sounds like a win-win communicational-generational bridge that will help one and all…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Generational-Digital Divide or “Don’t Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur!”
In today’s 24/7 always on, multicultural world and workforce, rapidly cycling between constant upgrading and “doing more with less,” creating communication and team coordination bridges among the organizational generations (and among all its culturally diverse components) is mission and morale critical. There’s definitely a need for a wide communication-relationship highway to surmount the digital divide between the Traditionals and Boomers and the Gen Xers and Millenials (not to mention the fast-approaching next generation –- the Multi-MIDS ™ (Multi-Media Instantaneous Digitals). And there’s one generational bridge and new mentoring role ready for operation: Gentoring: Pairing a Gen Xer or Gen Y/Millennial as a coach or mentor (“Gentor” ™) with a more senior and computer/multimedia stressed colleague. Discover the Stress Doc’s acclaimed interactive and inspiring “playshop” experience: supplement the younger employee’s digital facility with upgraded and FUN psychological, communicational and interpersonal-interactive tools and exercises for: a) lowering resistance to new learning and b) helping computer or social/multimedia averse members of earlier generations improve their techno-literacy and comfort. Reduce generational-cultural power struggles by enabling seniors to vent playfully their frustration with their generational juniors while appreciating and learning from the latter’s digital and collaborative fluency. Finally, remember, people are more open to a serious message that’s gift wrapped with humor…So, build a Gentoring Network to “pet and partner” with the dinosaur and bridge the “dinosaur-digital divide.”
Outline/Objectives
A. Overview of Generational Differences and “the Digital Divide”
1. Identify Differences between Generations – Culture, Attitude, Values and Education (Getting Out of the CAVE)
2. Why the Need for Gentoring? Danger and Opportunity on both Sides of the Digital Divide
B. Barriers to Crossing and Connecting the Generational-Digital Divide
1. Fear of Change, Loss of Control and “Confronting the Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure”
2. Intervention in a Generational-Multicultural Workplace Battle Zone: Case Example of Stopping Grievance Procedure Hemorrhaging
C. Psychological-Communicational-Cultural Challenges in the Gentoring Process
1. Psychological Dynamics of Inverting the Authority Role – Recognizing “Hot Buttons” when the Digital Generation (DGs) Partner with or Supervise Traditionals and Boomers (TBs)
2. Exercises for Defusing Power Struggles, Disarming Critical Aggressors, Building Trust and Generating Collaborative Styles of Conflict Resolution (using the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory)
D. Building Generational-Gentoring Bridges across the “Dinosaur-Digital” Divide
1. Benefits of and Necessary Coaching, Active Listening, Empathy and Questioning Skills for One-on-One Gentoring
2. Helping the Generations Appreciate and Value Generational Differences and Commonalities for Creating Yin-Yang Partnership Synergy
-----------------------------
“Gentoring” ™: Building a New Mentoring Role for Bridging the
Generational-Digital Divide or “Don’t Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur!”
This week I led a “Bridging Generational Communication” workshop with a major DC Government utility. The groups of managers and employees (a mix of Boomers and Gen Xers) were asked to identify an area of breakdown in generational relations and then list some problem-solving recommendations. One team focused on how many of the “older” field employees are techno-dinosaurs, at least with computers. And now management wants to put laptops on the trucks so workers can immediately process field reports. Stress and frustration levels are increasing!
I was an observer-participant during this group’s “taming the dinosaur” brainstorm. (My newest mantra: "Don't Be Afraid to Pet the Dinosaur.") We came up with several recommendations, besides employees attending computer training, including:
1. Have the Mountain Come to Mohammed. Even mandating computer classes at HQ for field employees still might not be the most effective recruiting tool. How about a mobile computer lab traveling to different work sites during the day?
2. One-On-One Computer Coaching. I personally shared my “computer virgin” status in the early ’90s, including struggling with my “Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure.” The smartest thing I did was hire an out of work computer consultant, to sit with me, walk me through key operations, hold my hand as necessary, etc. She came to the office about twice a week for four weeks. I have no doubt that a faster learning curve was my ROI, not to mention the money I saved on anticipated psychotherapy sessions.
3. A Generational Bridge. The group understood the value of personal coaching or mentoring relationship with a potentially anxious or resistant student. One group member discussed the importance of having a trusted colleague as a coach. Clearly, not wanting to feel embarrassed or humiliated was on folks’ minds. Eventually, though, I saw a generational bridge just waiting to be put into operation: how about pairing a Gen Xer or Gen Y/Millennial as a coach or mentor with a more senior and computer stressed colleague? (Naturally, at home the kids can potentially coach the parents, though this might be tricky.)
And later that evening I had a semantic “aha”: a new neologism and “job description” for our multigenerational workplace. When a younger employee helps a computer or social media averse member of a more senior generation improve their techno-literacy and comfort, the former is playing the role of “Gentor.” And the Gentor’s immediate function is to help bridge the digital divide. And while Gentoring may invert authority-status roles and sound original, challenging and hip, it's in the footsteps of a time-honored tradition of socialization, knowledge sharing and facilitating a vital rite of passage.
So get moving on that “Gentoring Program.” The younger generation likes being consultants, and hopefully this relationship will also increase their sense of responsibility and commitment to their colleagues and to the company. And the seniors can give their younger co-workers some of the recognition and affirmation that provides motivational meaning. Sounds like a win-win communicational-generational bridge that will help one and all…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
"Gentoring" ™: Building a New Generational Bridge and Mentoring Role
This week I led a “Bridging Generational Communication” workshop with a major DC Government utility. The groups of managers and employees (a mix of Boomers and Gen Xers) were asked to identify an area of breakdown in generational relations and then list some problem-solving recommendations. One team focused on how many of the “older” field employees are techno-dinosaurs, at least with computers. And now management wants to put laptops on the trucks so workers can immediately process field reports. Stress and frustration levels are increasing!
I was an observer-participant during this group’s “taming the dinosaur” brainstorm. We came up with several recommendations, besides employees attending computer training, including:
1. Have the Mountain Come to Mohammed. Even mandating computer classes at HQ for field employees still might not be the most effective recruiting tool. How about a mobile computer lab traveling to different work sites during the day?
2. One-On-One Computer Coaching. I personally shared my “computer virgin” status in the early ’90s, including struggling with my “Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure.” The smartest thing I did was hire an out of work computer consultant, to sit with me, walk me through key operations, hold my hand as necessary, etc. She came to the office about twice a week for four weeks. I have no doubt that a faster learning curve was my ROI, not to mention the money I saved on anticipated psychotherapy sessions.
3. A Generational Bridge. The group understood the value of personal coaching or mentoring relationship with a potentially anxious or resistant student. One group member discussed the importance of having a trusted colleague as a coach. Clearly, not wanting to feel embarrassed or humiliated was on folks’ minds. Eventually, though, I saw a generational bridge just waiting to be put into operation: how about pairing a Gen Xer or Gen Y/Millennial as a coach or mentor with a more senior and computer stressed colleague? (Naturally, at home the kids can potentially coach the parents, though this might be tricky.)
And later that evening I had a semantic “aha”: a new neologism and “job description” for our multigenerational workplace. When a younger employee helps a computer or social media averse member of a later generation improve their techno-literacy and comfort, the former is playing the role of “Gentor.” And the Gentor's primary function is helping bridge the digital divide.
So get moving on that “Gentoring Program.” The younger generation likes being consultants, and hopefully this relationship will also increase their sense of responsibility and commitment to their colleagues and to the company. And the seniors can give their younger co-workers some of the recognition and affirmation that provides motivational meaning. Sounds like a win-win communicational-generational bridge that will help one and all…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA and Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
I was an observer-participant during this group’s “taming the dinosaur” brainstorm. We came up with several recommendations, besides employees attending computer training, including:
1. Have the Mountain Come to Mohammed. Even mandating computer classes at HQ for field employees still might not be the most effective recruiting tool. How about a mobile computer lab traveling to different work sites during the day?
2. One-On-One Computer Coaching. I personally shared my “computer virgin” status in the early ’90s, including struggling with my “Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure.” The smartest thing I did was hire an out of work computer consultant, to sit with me, walk me through key operations, hold my hand as necessary, etc. She came to the office about twice a week for four weeks. I have no doubt that a faster learning curve was my ROI, not to mention the money I saved on anticipated psychotherapy sessions.
3. A Generational Bridge. The group understood the value of personal coaching or mentoring relationship with a potentially anxious or resistant student. One group member discussed the importance of having a trusted colleague as a coach. Clearly, not wanting to feel embarrassed or humiliated was on folks’ minds. Eventually, though, I saw a generational bridge just waiting to be put into operation: how about pairing a Gen Xer or Gen Y/Millennial as a coach or mentor with a more senior and computer stressed colleague? (Naturally, at home the kids can potentially coach the parents, though this might be tricky.)
And later that evening I had a semantic “aha”: a new neologism and “job description” for our multigenerational workplace. When a younger employee helps a computer or social media averse member of a later generation improve their techno-literacy and comfort, the former is playing the role of “Gentor.” And the Gentor's primary function is helping bridge the digital divide.
So get moving on that “Gentoring Program.” The younger generation likes being consultants, and hopefully this relationship will also increase their sense of responsibility and commitment to their colleagues and to the company. And the seniors can give their younger co-workers some of the recognition and affirmation that provides motivational meaning. Sounds like a win-win communicational-generational bridge that will help one and all…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA and Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
The Definition and Evolution of Professional Wisdom: The Paths and Processes of Mentoring and Meandering
By Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the “Stress Doc” ™
[Adapted from my article first published in PCMA Capital Chapter, The Chatter, June 2003]
While exploring a theme during an association committee meeting, two thought-provoking questions were posed: What is “professional wisdom” and how does one gain the same? The Webster’s Third New International Dictionary helps launch an investigation. To summarize, as an adjective, “professional” refers to an individual engaged in an occupation requiring a high level of training and proficiency. The role is characterized by technical and/or ethical standards, such that this individual demonstrates a fine artistry or workmanship based on education, the application of sound knowledge, conscientiousness and experience.
“Wisdom” seemingly emerges from a professional foundation or, at least, reaches some maturity through “hard-earned,” growing pains process or journey that enriches both the head and the heart. Wisdom is:
1) Accumulated information or lore, or instinctive adaptation;
2) The intelligent application of learning; that is, the ability to discern inner qualities and essential relationships; and,
3) Characterized by integrity and character.
Perhaps Benjamin Franklin said it best: “The mouth of a wise man is in his heart.”
Now that we have defined our terms, let’s identify two wisdom-generating paths and processes – “mentoring” and “meandering.” While posited separately, clearly, these “M & M”s can come together and nourish a life journey. And, like everything else, overdosing on these “M & M”s can have consequences:
1. Mentoring. Most of us can think of a knowledgeable and understanding, more senior supervisor or colleague (or relative, teacher, coach, therapist, etc.) who took us under his or her wing. This individual shared ideas and preached from experience, helped us bathe wounds or got us back on our feet during or after daunting learning curve trials. He or she also provided practical shortcuts based on greater time on the battle lines. For many, this person becomes a role model significantly influencing both our professional substance and communication style, especially in those identify-forming years. One caveat: totally embracing a mentor’s way – because one sees the mentor as God-like or because it’s easier following a familiar or safe trail – may hinder the development of one’s own individuality and confidence to explore.
Let me provide an example. When I first moved to Washington, DC in 1990, after sixteen years in New Orleans, I was hungry for connecting with another collection of oddballs and outcasts. In the Big Easy, all it took was strolling down the street; in DC I had to join an “Artists Support Group.” One of the mind-opening discoveries was the fact that many of the visual artists, with BFAs and MFAs, were lamenting the loss of their distinct visual style and “voice.” These folks believed they had aligned too closely with a graduate advisor or other faculty member, forsaking much of their previous interests, perspectives or style. Also, for practical reasons many had crossed the border from fine to commercial/graphic arts. Now, often struggling with a seemingly mid-career malaise or burnout, they wanted to return to their creative roots and rediscover a vehicle for personal if not singular artistic expression.
Now consider this anti-academic saga. As a speaker and writer, my odyssey began by dropping out of the Tulane University School of Social Work doctoral program in 1981. A mystical-like experience propelled me to attempt a wildly creative dissertation topic that was, frankly, “off the academic wall.” (In hindsight, I understand why my advisors were skeptical. At the time I wasn’t going to let those conservative academics stifle this budding talent.) Eventually, I burnt out on the process, dropped out of the program and was on my own – a state both scary and exhilarating. My professional canvas was blank. How was I going to fill it? There were two silver linings: I was ready to become an expert on stress and burnout (I may be hard-headed but I’m no dummy) and New Orleans definitely needed a “Stress Doc” ™.
In the early ‘80s, oil had gone bust and the state of Louisiana had passed West Virginia as the most economically depressed state in the union. The burnt out “Bayou State” was ready for an expert who could so personally and vividly talk about the experience of the “erosive spiral.” Through sheer “chutzpah,” I broke into radio and TV and began experimenting with and developing my own style of brief essays that blended good psychology with irreverent wit (my “psychohumorist” ™ voice), memorable phraseology (“Practice Safe Stress” ™) and fast-paced energy. For example, one early radio essay title was: “Breaking out of a hell of a Shell or Don’t Feel Too Sorry for Humpty Dumpty…He Needed to Hit Bottom.”
Actually, these substance and style attributes, supplemented by an ability to generate engaging and fun group exercises for audiences of any size, over time led to designing uncommon programming as a speaker and workshop leader. As a former girl friend noted, I have been on “the journey of a word artist.” This example of the dangers of mentoring and, conversely, the opportunities that opened once outside of academia, leads to the second path for gaining professional wisdom.
2. Meandering. In contrast to mentoring, one may evolve skills, experience and ultimately, some wisdom, less by coaching and more by on the job training, especially when (mostly) flying solo. A meandering learning curve, not surprisingly, is often of longer duration, with unexpected detours and learning paths and has greater frequency of errors. Self-defeating consequences may arise: one can get lost or stuck when rigidly defying authority or custom or always having to do it “my way.” Still there may be two distinctly positive outcomes: a) the development of a more individual, fresh and authentic voice or uncommon modus operandi and b) a greater willingness to take risks and a begrudging acceptance of the need for and, even, value of both failing and of challenging the conventional. Solitary meandering may well help foster inner resources and resolve.
Evolution and “The Secret of Wisdom”
Whether through mentoring or meandering, when character develops in the course of meaningful, give-and-take interaction or integrity builds from soul-searching solitude, and these maturational markers gradually learn to dance together, here is a path and process for personal-professional evolution and wisdom. As Jonas Salk, one of the groundbreaking discoverers of the Polio Vaccine, observed: Evolution is about getting up one more time than we fall down, being courageous one more time than we are fearful, trusting just one more time than being anxious. And along with a sense of persistence, everyday struggle and appreciation for even small triumphs is the need for serenity: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know where to hide the bodies." No...Just kidding. ;-) "And the wisdom to know the difference." And the older I get, the more profound "The Serenity Prayer" seems. Yet, a fundamental question remains: how the heck do you get the wisdom? Okay, folks. Here it is...The Secret of Wisdom.
Once there was a young woman who heard that an old wise woman had the secret of wisdom. The young woman was determined to track the old woman down. After traveling many months, the young woman found the old woman in a cave. She entered and addressed the old woman: "Old Wise Woman, I hear you have The Secret of Wisdom. Would you share it with me? The old woman looked at the youth and said, "Yes, you seem sincere. The Secret of Wisdom is good judgment." "Good judgment, of course," said the youth, thanked her mentor, and started to leave. However, as she got to the entrance of the cave she paused, turned back and said, "Old Woman, I feel funny, but, if I may ask, how does one obtain good judgment?" "That's a good question," said the sage. "One obtains good judgment through experience." "Experience, of course," said the young seeker, and proceeded to leave. But once again she stopped in her tracks, and humbly walked back to her mentor. "Old Woman," said the young woman, "I feel foolish, but I have to ask: How does one obtain experience?" The old woman paused, nodded her head, and then proceeded: "Now you have reached the right question. How does one obtain experience?. . . Through bad judgment!"
Remember, errors of judgment or design rarely consign one to a state of incompetence; they more likely reveal inexperience or immaturity, perhaps even boldness. Our so-called "failures" can be channeled as guiding streams (okay, sometimes raging rivers) of opportunity and experience that ultimately enrich – widen, deepen and expand – the risk-taking passage...If we can just immerse ourselves in these unpredictably roiling yet so often rejuvenating waters. Here are words that spur the striving for higher levels of professionalism and wisdom and also help us all…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
[Adapted from my article first published in PCMA Capital Chapter, The Chatter, June 2003]
While exploring a theme during an association committee meeting, two thought-provoking questions were posed: What is “professional wisdom” and how does one gain the same? The Webster’s Third New International Dictionary helps launch an investigation. To summarize, as an adjective, “professional” refers to an individual engaged in an occupation requiring a high level of training and proficiency. The role is characterized by technical and/or ethical standards, such that this individual demonstrates a fine artistry or workmanship based on education, the application of sound knowledge, conscientiousness and experience.
“Wisdom” seemingly emerges from a professional foundation or, at least, reaches some maturity through “hard-earned,” growing pains process or journey that enriches both the head and the heart. Wisdom is:
1) Accumulated information or lore, or instinctive adaptation;
2) The intelligent application of learning; that is, the ability to discern inner qualities and essential relationships; and,
3) Characterized by integrity and character.
Perhaps Benjamin Franklin said it best: “The mouth of a wise man is in his heart.”
Now that we have defined our terms, let’s identify two wisdom-generating paths and processes – “mentoring” and “meandering.” While posited separately, clearly, these “M & M”s can come together and nourish a life journey. And, like everything else, overdosing on these “M & M”s can have consequences:
1. Mentoring. Most of us can think of a knowledgeable and understanding, more senior supervisor or colleague (or relative, teacher, coach, therapist, etc.) who took us under his or her wing. This individual shared ideas and preached from experience, helped us bathe wounds or got us back on our feet during or after daunting learning curve trials. He or she also provided practical shortcuts based on greater time on the battle lines. For many, this person becomes a role model significantly influencing both our professional substance and communication style, especially in those identify-forming years. One caveat: totally embracing a mentor’s way – because one sees the mentor as God-like or because it’s easier following a familiar or safe trail – may hinder the development of one’s own individuality and confidence to explore.
Let me provide an example. When I first moved to Washington, DC in 1990, after sixteen years in New Orleans, I was hungry for connecting with another collection of oddballs and outcasts. In the Big Easy, all it took was strolling down the street; in DC I had to join an “Artists Support Group.” One of the mind-opening discoveries was the fact that many of the visual artists, with BFAs and MFAs, were lamenting the loss of their distinct visual style and “voice.” These folks believed they had aligned too closely with a graduate advisor or other faculty member, forsaking much of their previous interests, perspectives or style. Also, for practical reasons many had crossed the border from fine to commercial/graphic arts. Now, often struggling with a seemingly mid-career malaise or burnout, they wanted to return to their creative roots and rediscover a vehicle for personal if not singular artistic expression.
Now consider this anti-academic saga. As a speaker and writer, my odyssey began by dropping out of the Tulane University School of Social Work doctoral program in 1981. A mystical-like experience propelled me to attempt a wildly creative dissertation topic that was, frankly, “off the academic wall.” (In hindsight, I understand why my advisors were skeptical. At the time I wasn’t going to let those conservative academics stifle this budding talent.) Eventually, I burnt out on the process, dropped out of the program and was on my own – a state both scary and exhilarating. My professional canvas was blank. How was I going to fill it? There were two silver linings: I was ready to become an expert on stress and burnout (I may be hard-headed but I’m no dummy) and New Orleans definitely needed a “Stress Doc” ™.
In the early ‘80s, oil had gone bust and the state of Louisiana had passed West Virginia as the most economically depressed state in the union. The burnt out “Bayou State” was ready for an expert who could so personally and vividly talk about the experience of the “erosive spiral.” Through sheer “chutzpah,” I broke into radio and TV and began experimenting with and developing my own style of brief essays that blended good psychology with irreverent wit (my “psychohumorist” ™ voice), memorable phraseology (“Practice Safe Stress” ™) and fast-paced energy. For example, one early radio essay title was: “Breaking out of a hell of a Shell or Don’t Feel Too Sorry for Humpty Dumpty…He Needed to Hit Bottom.”
Actually, these substance and style attributes, supplemented by an ability to generate engaging and fun group exercises for audiences of any size, over time led to designing uncommon programming as a speaker and workshop leader. As a former girl friend noted, I have been on “the journey of a word artist.” This example of the dangers of mentoring and, conversely, the opportunities that opened once outside of academia, leads to the second path for gaining professional wisdom.
2. Meandering. In contrast to mentoring, one may evolve skills, experience and ultimately, some wisdom, less by coaching and more by on the job training, especially when (mostly) flying solo. A meandering learning curve, not surprisingly, is often of longer duration, with unexpected detours and learning paths and has greater frequency of errors. Self-defeating consequences may arise: one can get lost or stuck when rigidly defying authority or custom or always having to do it “my way.” Still there may be two distinctly positive outcomes: a) the development of a more individual, fresh and authentic voice or uncommon modus operandi and b) a greater willingness to take risks and a begrudging acceptance of the need for and, even, value of both failing and of challenging the conventional. Solitary meandering may well help foster inner resources and resolve.
Evolution and “The Secret of Wisdom”
Whether through mentoring or meandering, when character develops in the course of meaningful, give-and-take interaction or integrity builds from soul-searching solitude, and these maturational markers gradually learn to dance together, here is a path and process for personal-professional evolution and wisdom. As Jonas Salk, one of the groundbreaking discoverers of the Polio Vaccine, observed: Evolution is about getting up one more time than we fall down, being courageous one more time than we are fearful, trusting just one more time than being anxious. And along with a sense of persistence, everyday struggle and appreciation for even small triumphs is the need for serenity: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know where to hide the bodies." No...Just kidding. ;-) "And the wisdom to know the difference." And the older I get, the more profound "The Serenity Prayer" seems. Yet, a fundamental question remains: how the heck do you get the wisdom? Okay, folks. Here it is...The Secret of Wisdom.
Once there was a young woman who heard that an old wise woman had the secret of wisdom. The young woman was determined to track the old woman down. After traveling many months, the young woman found the old woman in a cave. She entered and addressed the old woman: "Old Wise Woman, I hear you have The Secret of Wisdom. Would you share it with me? The old woman looked at the youth and said, "Yes, you seem sincere. The Secret of Wisdom is good judgment." "Good judgment, of course," said the youth, thanked her mentor, and started to leave. However, as she got to the entrance of the cave she paused, turned back and said, "Old Woman, I feel funny, but, if I may ask, how does one obtain good judgment?" "That's a good question," said the sage. "One obtains good judgment through experience." "Experience, of course," said the young seeker, and proceeded to leave. But once again she stopped in her tracks, and humbly walked back to her mentor. "Old Woman," said the young woman, "I feel foolish, but I have to ask: How does one obtain experience?" The old woman paused, nodded her head, and then proceeded: "Now you have reached the right question. How does one obtain experience?. . . Through bad judgment!"
Remember, errors of judgment or design rarely consign one to a state of incompetence; they more likely reveal inexperience or immaturity, perhaps even boldness. Our so-called "failures" can be channeled as guiding streams (okay, sometimes raging rivers) of opportunity and experience that ultimately enrich – widen, deepen and expand – the risk-taking passage...If we can just immerse ourselves in these unpredictably roiling yet so often rejuvenating waters. Here are words that spur the striving for higher levels of professionalism and wisdom and also help us all…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
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