My participation as the “Stress Doc” ™
at the USPTO Health Fair reminded me of two basic facts: 1) people like to laugh, especially when they
can share a gentle and knowing laugh at their own flaws and foibles and 2)
especially in a high demand-production work environment and a “TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – Driven- and
Distracted World, many folks are hungry for concepts, tools, and strategies
that will impact and improve the quality of daily life. In particular, professionals want to: a) facilitate
stress resiliency (to bounce back
with energy, conviction, and spirit from a high tension-demand situation) and b) enhance brain agility (to address or anticipate problems effectively and
efficiently; building upon yet moving beyond familiar patterns of thought, cognitive
focus and flexibility yields deep and diverse, productive as well as innovative viewpoints
and real-time action plans).
Let me illustrate the high energy,
interactive, and time-conscious approach with participants visiting my vendor
table. Within five minutes, the use of
fast-paced, purposeful, and personal questions stimulated both engagement and
open-mindedness about strengthening a stress management regimen and overall
work-life balance. Specifically, I employed a two-step approach:
First,
getting people’s attention by using an unconventional method of evoking
memories of past performance pressure situations and then breaking the tension
with a knowing laugh, and
Second,
offering the “Stress Doc’s Formula for Natural SPEED,” that is, asking people about
key mind-body health-life style choices along with communication-relationship
styles; my goal is to help others more purposefully think about and plan ways
to strengthen personal everyday stress resiliency and brain agility.
Finally, whenever possible I tried to
inject some self-effacing mirth.
Remember, people are less
defensive and more open to a serious message when it is gift-wrapped with humor.
Preparing
the Mind with Humor
My opening gambit was offering those
strolling by a “free stress-relieving laugh.”
In general, people took the bait.
While handing them a copy of an old “Shoe” cartoon, I suddenly declare,
“Okay, but you have to get serious for ten seconds. You’re back at school, you have a tough
professor, facing a tough final exam…Read this to yourself – begin!” Most quickly adopt a serious game face, and
then proceed to read the caricature: Shoe’s teenage nephew, Skyler, is ready to
take a big exam. Skyler declares, “I’m psyched,
I studied all night…let’s go.” He
suddenly sees a box asking for “Name.”
Skyler is confused, blurting out:
“Name who? Name what.” Skyler starts climbing onto his desk as signs
of panic distort his face. Finally,
hitting his head, the teen sheepishly says, “Oh my name…Come on Skyler, get a
grip!”
Whether reading alone or with a group
of “test-takers,” an array of knowing smiles and chuckles along with some laugh-out-loud
guffaws invariably emerge or erupt. Personal
experience definitely affects the intensity of the reaction. Nonetheless, almost all can relate to a
previous “deer in the headlights” test-taking or stage fright type of
experience. Several parents ask to keep
the cartoon, wanting to share it with a child.
Having effectively captured the
individual’s or group’s attention while creating some anticipatory curiosity
about this Stress Doc character, I now ask if they are ready for a rapid-fire
quiz. More specifically, “Would you like
to assess and/or strengthen a capacity for personal stress resiliency and brain
agility?”
All it takes is a slight nod of the
head, and I’m asking participants self-reflective questions around my “Formula for Natural SPEED” – Sleep,
Priorities-Passion, Empathy, Exercise & Diet. Are you
ready for the quiz?
S
= Sleep. Are you getting at least seven hours
of sleep a night? Alas, many people
aren’t; either they have trouble falling asleep or getting back to sleep upon
waking during the night. Sufficient
sleep is critical; for many people, consistently getting less than six hours of
sleep is associated with an array of mind-body problems including deficient
information processing and memory retention, along with mental mistakes and a
greater propensity for accidents. Recent
sleep studies suggest that chronic insomnia may lead to both the loss of brain volume
and the build-up of Alzheimer’s-related brain plaque.
In addition, chronic sleep deprivation
is associated with cardiovascular complications, strokes, as well as obesity and eating
disorders, as well as the onsite of diabetes symptomatology. (Of course, there is a physiological-family
predisposition factor, that is, biologically some people can function well on
less than six or seven hours of sleep; however, this minority often have
learned the art of “power napping.”)
Here
are some “Sleep Hygiene” tips:
1.
Unplug: Turn off all
visual electronics one half hour before getting into bed. Watching TV and especially being on the
computer or tablet typically stimulates your brain. If you were a cabdriver, now’s the time for
that “Off Duty” sign.
2.
Transition to Sleep Mode:
To facilitate drowsiness, consider such sleep transition activities as
taking a bath or shower, light reading, listening to soothing music or a sounds
of nature CD (helping induce a meditative state); if work angst persists, itemize
the things that are troubling you or make a next-day “to do” list, and then
continue into sleep mode. Of course, if
sleep problems are disruptive and chronic, affecting your day-to-day mood, mindsets,
and performance, then seek medical and/or psychological consultation.
3.
Power Napping: Some folks
have difficulty taking short “cat naps.” Listening regularly to soothing sounds as part
of bed-time preparation may well generalize into a capacity for a “ten to
fifteen minute” rejuvenating post-lunch or mid-afternoon nap. Wellness savvy companies are discovering the
link between brief nap intervals and sustained employee productivity.
4.
Nutritional and Supplemental Support: Some folks opt for warm milk, chamomile tea,
or a small bowl of low-sugar granola cereal to help prepare for bedtime. Others find supplements such as melatonin a
useful sleep aid. A hormone made by the
brain’s pineal gland, melatonin helps regulate your wake-sleep cycle, rising in
the mid-to late evening and dropping during daylight. Seasonal (and artificial) light affects the
body’s melatonin production, as does aging.
Natural melatonin levels slowly drop with age. Some older adults make very small amounts of
it or none at all. Trace amounts are
found in foods such as meats, grains, fruits, and vegetables. (Consult with a
medical professional about melatonin and other sleep aid supplements.)
P
= Priorities. Three questions were posed to establish
“priority consciousness”:
1) Are you comfortable saying “No” to
people?
2) Are you comfortable disappointing
others?
3) Do you understand when “being
mindful” needs to replace “multitasking?”
In my mind, the first two questions
are linked, though a number of folks might say “yes” to one question and “no”
to another. As people acknowledged,
difficulty saying “No” or setting limits leads to being stretched too thin
(trying to be “everything for everyone”) or being used or stepped on “like a
welcome mat,” to quote one quiz-taker. A
perpetual pleaser, someone who never wants to disappoint, is inviting
trouble. Remember, burnout is less a sign of failure and more that you gave yourself away! Consider this golden rule, a requisite of
adult maturity: “If you don’t find a balance between giving of yourself and giving to
yourself, you are surely at risk for losing your “self”!
Some
quick tips for saying “No”:
1.
With a Colleague – when a colleague, friend, or family member
asks for a favor and your plate is momentarily overloaded, after hearing them
out, say, “Right now I can’t assist you with “abc” but I may be able to help
with “def.” Or, call me back in two
days, and I might be able to help with “abc.”
(You are allowed to put some responsibility on the favor-asking
party.) Of course, some may be grumpy
with your new boundaries. Again, hear
them out and concisely reaffirm your initial position. Over-talking or excess
justification erodes a sense of integrity and conviction, both in your own mind
and in the eyes of others.
2.
With a “Big Boss” – when this authority declares there’s an
“emergency,” the “sky is falling down,” it is critical not to let this person’s false sense of urgency become your anxiety. (Remember, emergencies are truly life and
death matters.) Take a few breaths and
respond, “I know this is a very important
issue. Because it’s critical, let’s
take five minutes. Help me reprioritize
so I can give this important project
the time, energy, and focus it deserves.”
Don’t just jump off a problem-solving cliff when asked or ordered; down
the road, this only invites mistakes and misunderstandings. By reframing the emergency as an “important
problem” and by asking for some guidance, you are actually establishing
appropriate, reality-testing boundaries, as well as gaining some
stress-reducing time and sense of control.
And you may even be massaging the boss’ anxiety and ego. (Okay, at least think about it.)
Finally, the third question about
“multitasking vs. mindfulness” is actually a trick question. Increasingly, research is revealing that our
brain doesn’t multitask but quickly switches back and forth among the various
tasks. Unless the activities are simple
or rote, or involve non-distracting background “noise,” multitasking yields all
too predictable results: compromised
concentration and reduced performance. When
constantly “switch-tasking” the brain never gets sufficient opportunity to warm
up to a specific task, thereby inhibiting the mind’s optimal potential for productive
and imaginative problem-solving.
P
= Passion. The second “P” is linked to
Priorities; when viewing our “TNT” world through a Natural SPEED survival lens, one must set work-life boundaries to purposefully
design “Passionate” space-time; especially for the high priority of a personal
hobby. Hobbies that stimulate both mind
and body like sewing, gardening, cycling, dancing, playing an instrument or a
sport, etc. not only are relaxing and nurturing, but may also facilitate skill
development, expand curiosity and new learning curves, along with a tangible
sense of accomplishment.
In addition, research has found that
activities that exercise the brain-body, e.g., formal dancing, with its need
for both precise and spontaneous moves along with quick decision-making, is especially
effective in helping slow down cognitive decline or dementia. (For me, an equivalent experience/hobby was
running a weekly AOL “Shrink Rap and Group Chat” group for a number of
years. As Instant Messages (IMs) would
flood the screen in real time, orchestrating cross discussion, adding some
concise insight, having my responses challenged, asking thought-provoking
questions, and providing useful tips, while quickly setting limits on
inappropriate comments, definitely kept my fingers flying and brain humming.)
E
= Empathy. My question: “Do you have a Stress Buddy (SB) in your life,
especially at work?” For example, when
you’re upset with a supervisor, ready to storm into his or her office, your SB
is the colleague to whom you turn:
“Before I put my foot in my mouth or someone’s butt…talk me down!” Alas, it’s not so easy finding a mutually
supportive, give and take partner.
First, listening to or reassuring others
can at times itself be stressful. Second,
some folks just do a lot more taking than giving or listening. Just make sure the shoulder lending is not a
one-way transaction. If you are always
the pillar, those who lean on you may not be quick to see when you're feeling
shaky. Remember, “E” is for the “Empathy” found in a caring shoulder, but all give
without take is a big mistake for now you shoulder a boulder! Beware playing the heroic,
self-denying superman or superwoman role.
Have at least one Stress Buddy with whom you can let your hair down (especially
on a "bad hair day”).
E = Exercise. Do you get thirty minutes of brisk
exercise three-five times a week? Regular
exercise provides both physical and psychological advantages. Thirty minutes (or even two fifteen minute
segments) of vigorous, non-stop, large muscle movement activity – brisk
walking, swimming, bike riding, dancing, etc. – releases brain chemicals such
as endorphins and dopamine which are the mind-body's natural mood enhancers and
pain relievers. It's less a runner's
high and more that we can step back and see things with a calmer disposition
and fresher perspective.
When stressed, everything feel’s up in the air. The answer: to feel grounded. There is nothing like a brisk thirty minute
walk for creating a beginning and end point for a tangible sense of
accomplishment and control. Actually,
you’re developing a “success ritual.”
And while I don’t always love to exercise, after my ten-minute “while still
in bed” morning routine of stretching, sit-ups, push-ups, yoga positions, etc.
and my early evening walk…well, I do like feeling virtuous.
And finally, in addition to mood, endurance, and
cardiovascular benefits, daily exercise aids peak performance – whether in the
boardroom or bedroom!
D = Diet. And the last question: “Do you engage in “Brain Smart” eating?” A diet high in saturated fats (red meat,
whole milk products, fried oyster po-boys; having lived in New Orleans, I’m
convinced the restaurants are owned by the cardiologists) and simple sugars
(sodas, Twinkies, even most fruit yogurts are loaded with fructose or sugar)
may induce a short-lived energy boost.
However, many of these selections invariably induce drowsiness and
mental torpor, not to mention fostering clogged arteries and diabetes. And too much alcohol and caffeine is a roller
coaster headache – moodiness or depression often follows aggression and
agitation.
To get a mind-mood advantage, try this nutritional regimen:
1) Omega 3 Fatty Acid Fish
– salmon, sardines, tuna, and mackerel; especially good for brain health; these
fatty acids counteract free radicals that can cause oxidative damage (akin to
the rusting) of brain cells; may improve the efficiency of nerve signal
transmission at synapses
2) Antioxidant Fruits and Berries – blueberries (aka
“brainberries”), strawberries, raspberries; “the purples” – prunes raisins,
plums, and cherries; also reduce oxidative damage to cells; in addition to
slowing cognitive decline, diets rich in fiber may lower blood pressure, reduce
the risk of heart attack and stroke, obesity, and diabetes; may also lower bone
loss; a recent study also revealed that the men in Asian cultures with high fiber/bran
intake have significantly lower rates of prostate cancer and problematic polyps
3) Leafy Green and Cruciferous
Vegetables – broccoli, spinach, kale, cauliflower, red bell peppers,
beets, onions, corn, eggplant; loaded with essential vitamins, minerals, and
antioxidants these veggies promote brain health, heart health, and have cancer
fighting potential; a ten year study of 13,000 nurses who ate more cruciferous
and leafy vegetables in their 60’s had a lower rate of decline on a variety of
learning and memory tests; the more of these vegetables eaten, the better the
test scores
4) Go WACky Over Nuts
– three nuts with body-mind-mood benefits are walnuts, almonds and cashews;
walnuts are high in omega 3 fatty acids, decreasing cardiac risk and increasing
blood flow; eating almonds daily is associated with reduced rates of heart
attacks; almonds also lower blood sugar and insulin levels after meals; cashews
have similar properties to heart healthy olive oil and may reduce the intensity
of migraine attacks; these nuts have minerals such as magnesium, phosphorous,
and copper that strengthen bones and teeth while relaxing nerves; however, don’t go nuts over nuts – have 7-10 nuts
at a time to maximize dietary and weight management benefits
5) A Quick High Fiber Snack
– try a celery stalk with almond butter – helps lower blood pressure and has
Vitamin K, which helps fight osteoporosis; one INOVA Hospital nurse who took the
SPEED test mentioned that celery may also help reduce the incidence of breast
cancer.
Finally, remember, just because taking some vitamins is good don’t
assume taking more is better. There are
vitamins, like Vitamin E, that can be dangerous in high doses,. Also, vitamins and other herbal supplements
can also interact with prescription medications, lowering their effectiveness or
causing harmful side effects. Again,
consult with a medical or nutritional expert.
Closing Summary
I can’t think of a better way to conclude this essay than with
the closing verses from my “24/7 SPEED (Shrink) Rap ™.” (Email stressdoc@aol.com
for the entire poetic lyric.)
It's time to end this Shrink Rap
With final tips for you:
"A firm 'No' a day keeps the ulcers away, and the
hostilities too."
So to lessen daily woes, "Do know your limits; don't
limit your 'No's!"
Ponder this Stress Doc wit and wisdom
Try to live it day after day:
Burnout is not a sign of failure
You simply gave yourself away.
Remember, sometimes less is more
And more is really less.
Balance work and play, faith and love
And, of course...Practice
Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW,
LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social
Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational
Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive,
inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major
corporations. A training and Critical
Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company,
Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc is also leading “Stress,
Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed
Services. Mark is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by
National Public Radio (NPR). For more
info on the Doc's programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com.
