When One Becomes the "Powers of Two": The Art of Becoming Your Own Creative Partner – Essay & Resiliency Rap

The Stress Doc explores how his new poem/“Resiliency Rap” – “The Gift of Writing” (below) – evolved from, for him, a novel process of dissatisfaction, honesty, discovery, engagement, frustration and, ultimately, synthesis.  The existential question:  at times, is it possible to be your own creative partner?  And if so, what does it take?  Read on.

When One Becomes the Powers of Two:  The Art of Becoming Your Own Creative Partner –  Essay & Resiliency Rap

Joshua Shenk’s thesis in the thought-provoking Powers of Two:  Finding the Essence of Innovation in Creative Pairs, (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2014), is clear:  innovation is powered by the creative tension between individuals in great dyads who are both very much different and very much alike.  Think John Lennon and Paul McCartney, Shenk’s prototypic example.  Both driven musical geniuses (who lost mothers in their teen years), Lennon tempered McCartney’s tendency for soppy romanticism, while McCartney helped soften Lennon’s angry, hard-edge.  Shenk adds: “The heart of creative connection is the felicitous and complementary combination of the familiar and the strange.  These simultaneous extremes generate the deep rapport and energizing friction that defines a creative pair.”  I particularly like this line from Shenk:  We need similarities to give us ballast and differences to make us move.

Alas, what happens when a creative partner is not on the scene?  Are you consigned to creative impotence, or can you improvise?  (I suppose one analogy at hand is settling for self-stimulating pleasures instead of the real thing.  Hey, sometimes second best isn’t so bad; and, when on auto-pilot, the imagination can run a little wild.) 😉  But seriously, I may have discovered another option.

The Pass in the Impasse

Recently, I have been reviewing poems and “Resiliency Raps” ™ penned two and three years ago.  The motive:  I had begun to sharpen my Seussian voice – tackling deep, often complex themes with accessible language, graspable and memorable images, as well as fast, feisty, and fun rhyme schemes.  And, as suspected, a number of the earlier works, especially the longer pieces, are more abstract and less clear, even to the author’s mind.  (Of course, as I continue to age, I do become a little more demented.)

In the early stages of this operational procedure, it dawns on me: in paradoxical fashion, I am in the arena of creative opposition…between my past and present selves! And Shenk’s dyadic proposition may well apply. For as I’m rethinking the early works, it’s not just a matter of substituting a word, phrase or image, here and there. Not only am I seriously streamlining the longer pieces but, within a story-like format, making more tangible and mythical the imagery and references. Bringing an evolved mindset to the remake, I’m separating the poetic – verbal and visual – wheat from chaff; there are original images and ideas waiting to be utilized anew.

A significantly different structure is also emerging.  For example, in the poem immediately below, there are shorter stanzas broken up by a repeating chorus.  In addition, what was a one-time only opening line – I write; therefore, I am – now becomes an opening variation for each poetic section, e.g., I write; therefore, I am memory.  “Memory” becomes the organizing theme for the short segment.

Danger and Opportunity

The challenge of this surgical procedure is as much egotistical as it is operational:  accepting that my earlier work was significantly flawed.  It wasn’t as wonderful as I previously believed.  To my credit, I was experimenting with new poetic formats.  A memorable poem, like a classic city, isn’t built in a day.  For original production, the courage to take an honest look in the mirror, to recognize the circuitous process, perhaps time wandering in the proverbial desert, the opportunity for noodling and trial and error experimentation which allows, finally, the return to familiar territory with a fresh mindset, ready to seek feedback, if not a partnership, is a growing sign of personal-professional maturity that should not be minimized.

Actually, it’s not unlike the “step” work I’m doing.  Areas in my life that seemed “settled,” are presently being exposed as sources of defect and dysfunction (“d and d”).  But instead of being immobilized by feelings of shame, as I may have in the past, or denying the issues altogether, I’m more challenged to wrestle with d and d, in group meetings as well as alone and with one or two fellow “steppers.”  (There’s that “power of two” theme, again.)  So let’s add two “d”s:  new direction and determination!

And “constructive discontent” is often the starting point for creative problem-solving, whatever the generative or innovative domain.  One might say, doing a fierce and fearless, overall life/moral inventory regarding emotional beliefs, behaviors, and relations (the “12-step” forest) is facilitating this poetic reappraisal and risk-taking (of the “word artist” trees).

Naturally, there is risk tearing down an existing structure; one that I’m defining as outdated, of insufficient quality.  Will I be able to construct a worthy replacement?  An image of buildings inadequately designed to withstand earthquake tremors comes to mind.  And after such a trauma, hopefully you are motivated to rebuild with stronger materials and sounder blueprints.  Perhaps I’m in a period of psychic quaking, as it were.  A courageous second look allows for assessing strengths and gaps.  Now there is opportunity for rejuvenating poetic form and function that is both firmer and more fluid.  Hopefully, your work can sway and withstand natural tremors along with human slings and arrows.  (Ultimately, you, reader, will be the building inspector 😉 .)

Closing

A question comes to mind:  do you have other projects (not necessarily involving poetry or even writing, for that matter), that might warrant a second look?  Are you ready to explore the “Powers of Two,” ideally with a partner?  But if one isn’t on the horizon, can you turn your former self or an old work into a provocative antagonist, perhaps an arena where thesis and antithesis do battle.  It just may be time for new creative synthesis.  To good adventures.  MG

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Gift of Writing

I write; therefore, I am

Hey, Rene, ** this is no scam

It’s in the stars of this Aries ram.

Head in the clouds; mind on the lam

Still head-butting that nightmare exam.

I write; therefore, I am memory

Ghost voices smolder in purgatory

Smoke signal secrets of the family:

That “don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel” litany

May one scratch history from jaws of mystery?

Writing, Writing

The art of inner fighting

Writing, Writing

Are you still deciding?

I write; therefore, I have a brain

Word Legos helps design the sane

Till mind meets wall…there’s no more to gain

But REM sleep drama for all the pain.

Red morning eyes know the Sisyphus ** strain:

It’s in your blood…Up the mountain again!

I write; therefore, I have a role

9-5…just not how I roll.

Why do they scoff?  Some try to cajole…

Don’t make me laugh: “Just set a goal.”

For fiery dreams that still burn a hole

Plug in…compose:  lay bare Shadow Soul.

Writing, Writing

A knack for in-sighting

Writing, Writing

No more closet hiding.

I write; therefore, I am not null

All in my head; perhaps full of bull?

Whatever is said, at least I’m not dull.

Seuss-lite illumes the jet-black tunnel…

Rising from ashes – a Phoenix role model:

A keyboard with wings – new mythic seagull.

I write; therefore, I have an image

Is it true vision or just a mirage?

Trapped in a maze or safe passage for rage?

But one way to know…leap to the stage!

Who knows where you’ll go on a blank screen or page!

Writing, Writing

When spirit starts igniting

Writing, Writing

No more simply gliding.

Writing, Writing

Like thunder and lightning

Writing, Writing

On Pegasus **…start riding.

**  Rene Descartes (1596–1650), French philosopher, mathematician, and man of science. He concluded that everything was open to doubt except conscious experience and existence as a necessary condition of this: “Cogito, ergo sum” (I think, therefore I am).  In mathematics, he developed the use of coordinates to locate a point in two or three dimensions. The Cartesian coordinate system is named in his honor. (Oxford Dictionaries)

**  In Greek mythology Sisyphus was the king of Ephyra (now known as Corinth). He was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it come back to hit him, repeating this action for eternity. Through the classical influence on modern culture, tasks that are both laborious and futile are therefore described as Sisyphean.  (Wikipedia)

** Pegasus, in Greek mythology, a winged horse that sprang from the blood of the Gorgon Medusa as she was beheaded by the hero Perseus. With Athena’s (or Poseidon’s) help, another Greek hero, Bellerophon, captured Pegasus and rode him first in his fight with the Chimera and later while he was taking vengeance on Stheneboea (Anteia), who had falsely accused Bellerophon. Subsequently Bellerophon attempted to fly with Pegasus to heaven but was unseated and killed or, by some accounts, lamed. The winged horse became a constellation and the servant of Zeus. The spring Hippocrene on Mount Helicon was believed to have been created when the hoof of Pegasus struck a rock.

In late antiquity, Pegasus’s soaring flight was interpreted as an allegory of the soul’s immortality; in modern times, it has been regarded as a symbol of poetic inspiration.  (Encyclopedia Britannica).

© Mark Gorkin  2017

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker -- on stress & burnout, performance-leadership and captivating communication -- as well as recognized authour, and "Psychohumorist" ™.  Mark is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative and is a current Leadership Coach/Training Consultant for the international Embry-Riddle Aeronautics University at the Daytona, FL headquarters. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army. Presently Mark does Critical Incident Debriefing for organizational/corporate clients of Business Health Services. The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High-Tech World. Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info, email: stressdoc@aol.com.

A Note of Appreciation: The Vital Intersection of Writer and Reader, Coach and Learner, Performer and Participant

As Thanksgiving approaches, the election hangover momentarily ebbs. (I'm counting on Trump and his minion, along with the counter-reaction, to fuel media explosion-exploitation for periodic transition mayhem.)  During this psycho-political interregnum, I wish to express thanks for the chance to contribute in the face-to-face – individual and organizational – arenas as well as through social media platforms.

The Vital Intersection of Writer and Reader, Performer and Participant

Starting with the digital universe, an unexpected note from a reader helps, once again, solidify my decision to walk my “Psychohumorist” ™ talk along that off-the-beaten, writer's path:  Congratulations on the new book. (Ed. note:  Fierce Longing...Fiery Loss:  Relearning to Let Go, Laugh & Love; on Amazon.]  You may not remember me but we met a few years ago. Unfortunately, after our meeting I became ill and have been in and out of the hospital for the last 2 years. Your emails are always refreshing and help me appreciate the gift that God has given you and encourage you to keep up the good work. God bless.  DH

Feedback from readers – pro and con – thankfully, is one of the forces that keep this mind obsessively grinding and, occasionally, trail-blazing.  As I once penned:

For the phoenix to rise from the ashes

One must know the pain

To transform the fire to burning desire!

It was only after my third decade that I sensed the urge, the desire, and the potential to be a writer with a home-grown, meaningful, and playful voice.  Now, after three + decades evolving and honing my craft, first and foremost, I write to harness emotionally intensity, to construct an imaginative bridge between the conscious and the subliminal, to drill for psycho-kaleidoscopic memory, with its fading images yet also sudden bursts of pulsing and streaming color.  I labor at the keyboard (and sometimes still rough out initial ideas by hand), to find and shape my own "word artist" anima, not just a persona, to conjure and express an idiosyncratic conceptual frame, to transform complexity and confusion into a multi-threaded yet singular creative tapestry.  Ah…to choose the right word, to sculpt that compelling metaphor, to grapple with rhythm and rhyme.  Consider this illustration by one of my heroes, Mark Twain, American humorist and man of letters; his cleverly crafted, truly inspiring conception of “wit”:  Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation!

Finally, I write to stand up to and laugh at all those critical, self-doubting voices in my head, that forever emerge as I'm nervously posturing and positioning myself in the new project starting blocks. And despite the anticipatory angst (or, perhaps, because of the same) ...I feel the least need to justify myself when immersed in creative writing.

The Learning, Sharing, and Performing Arenas

But this word artist must thrive on both page and stage (or, at least, a coach’s chair).  And for this, too, I am grateful.  First, as a writing and speech coach, helping an immigrant lawyer's pursuit of both the American Dream and supporting his advocacy message of human – social-educational-economic-political – rights for individuals caged in caste-based systems, especially in South Asia.  In the process, I am better understanding the challenge of the immigrant experience, especially giving up “the once big fish in a smaller pond” status. Sometimes it’s nice to be in the shadows while supporting another’s struggle to recreate the limelight…feeling like an “uncle” as much as a coach.

And a recent stage appearance, as a Leadership Consultant and workshop-retreat leader/facilitator for the internationally-based Leadership Institute of Embry-Riddle Aeronautics University.  I will be expanding my training role with their management and supervisory staff.  I have loved brainstorming and working with the Leadership Institute Team, assisting on webinars and providing university personnel with an in-the-flesh "Stress Doc (Retreat) Experience" (to quote the Leadership Director).  Helping audiences “Get FIT – by making programs FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking – creates a symbiotic and synergetic learning laboratory.

Back to the social media arena, I'm also grateful for the congratulations and "likes" by so many Linked-In contacts to my profile posting of the newly evolving Embry-Riddle position.  In fact, here was my note of acknowledgement:

Thanks...appreciate the congrats. Looks like I'm starting to fly around as a leadership consultant.

Hope you are also in flight. Anything cookin?  Still would love to partner. Best wishes and good adventures. Mark

See recent leadership retreat testimonial (below) for international Aeronautics Univ. (FYI, just been asked by Embry-Riddle Aeronautics U./Leadership Institute, HQd in Daytona, FL, to do another "magical" leadership retreat with university managers, this time at their satellite campus in Prescott, AZ.)

Testimonial

Embry-Riddle Aeronautics University/Leadership Institute, Daytona, FL (Global HQ), "Building Power through Conflict," One-Day Leadership Retreat for 30 managers/supervisors

Nov 3, 2016

Mark Gorkin took our leadership group on a discovery tour of how conflict brings power. He demonstrated and we practiced the art of “letting go of the rope” – that frequent occurrence of two people standing firm on differing sides of an issue. They both keep pulling until one pulls the other over – never a good solution but most often the outcome. The art of letting go gave our participants another great tool for creating a win-win. Mark has a way of creating an environment of safety where people feel free to express themselves – it was a true bonding experience!

Rich Pernell, MS, CPF, CPM
Director – Organizational Development & Design
Human Resources
Embry Riddle Aeronautical University
Daytona Beach, Fl 32110-3900
(386) 226-6995 voice
------------

Rita Avinger, Ph.D., SPHR, SHRM-SCP
Director, Leadership Institute
Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University
Voice: (386) 226-7004

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Closing Thoughts

So, I am thankful for the opportunity to share my complex, ever evolving self with others and to be enriched and enlightened by head-and-heartfelt interaction – whether as writer, coach, or group facilitator.  I am grateful for my small yet meaningful victories, as I recover from the partnership breakup tsunami and rebuild a life.  To quote mid-19^th century American transcendental philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson:

" To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. "

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Perhaps I have “succeeded” more than I realize, or give myself credit.  Fittingly, a final share which has often induced a knowing laugh from others.  Best wishes for a graceful holiday season.

Practice Safe Stress for the Holidays:
The 4 "F"s of Holiday Friction

While many associate the holidays with Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, and its theme of gaining and sharing the holiday spirit, the opening lines from A Tale of Two Cities may have even more relevance:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of time
It was the season of light, it was the season of darkness...
It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.

Like Dickens, I too have tried to capture the complexity of the holidays; if not through a great novel, then with my one classic holiday joke.  I realized with all this talk of pressure during the holidays, I needed to distinguish between "Holiday Blues" and "Holiday Stress."  Now holiday blues is the feeling of loss or sadness that you have over the holidays when, for whatever reason, you can't be with those people who have been or are special and significant.  And holiday stress...is when you have to be with some of those people!

Email stressdoc@aol.com or send me a message on LinkedIn or Facebook to receive the entire essay.

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a Leadership Consultant for the international Embry-Riddle Aeronautics University, HQd in Daytona, FL.  Mark is also a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative.  A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.  The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info, email:  stressdoc@aol.com.

The New KISS: Transforming an Old (and Rusty) Saw

Keep It Simple and …

To my surprise, the result of a long simmering discontent with an educational adage/acronym (along with a somewhat obsessive nature) is driving the evolution of a hopefully “multi-faceted if not elegantly simple” matrix:  The Stress Doc’s ™ Four “C’-ing – Concrete-Challenging-Creative-Collaborative Communication-Leadership Model.  (More about the “C”s in a future essay.)  That is, I believe a presenter or facilitator becomes a most compelling communicator-leader as well as an effective small- or large-group catalyst and coordinator when bringing these “Four ‘C’s” to life.  And this performance-partnership transformation occurs by knowingly engaging with: a) your audience on an insightful, emotional, and skill-building basis and b) encouraging audience members to interact with and share, support, spur on, challenge and cooperate with, and learn from one another.

The KISS of Death (or at least Decaying Brain Cells and Dis-Eased Relations)

However, before fleshing out the “Four ‘C’ Framework,” I want to highlight the formative building blocks, which brings us back to my state of discontent.  As you may have discerned from the title, I’ve never been a big fan of the teaching truism KISS:  Keep It Simple Stupid.  And whether the word “stupid” is a directive for the instructor, drives the content, or describes the audience from a so-called expert’s “bird’s eye” or perhaps more a “bird-brained” view…frankly, for me it’s demeaning; a “superior-subordinate” method of learning and relating.  Most egregious, it ignores the potential for disclosure, discovery, and synergy in the room.  (And by synergy, I’m talking both: a) the interaction of parts such that there’s a “whole is greater than” mind-body energy along with a surprising effect and that b) the parts evolve and transform into high performance partners.)

Actually, I prefer a touch of compassion over a stale kiss, for example, the maxim:  People don’t care what you know till they know that you care…duh!!!  And once folks know you care and you’re willing to “dialog” – acknowledging difference, allowing others to disagree and dare…better be aware; you will be getting much more than you imagined possible!  (I suddenly recall an old Stress Doc maxim:  Difference and Disagreement =/= Disapproval or Disloyalty; nor, conversely, does acknowledgement mean agreement.  But attention and acknowledgement show respect, the foundation for effective and efficient communication in an ongoing relation.)

Bringing KISS Back to Life (or Life Back to KISS)

Then recently an obvious KISS replacement leaped into consciousness:  Keep It Simple and Smart!  And while the new adage-acronym was not word tight it felt right.  Of course, everything is “smart” these days – from phones to cars, with their digital diversity and dexterity.  According to Dictionary.com, from a systems perspective, smart means “operating as if by human intelligence by using automatic computer control.”  (Of course the irony of the aforementioned smart phones and cars is the numbers who engage in “stupid and selfish,” criminally dangerous behavior – texting while driving!)  No wonder at times I wax nostalgic.

Growing up the word “smart” was immediately linked with mere human “intelligence” or being “clever.”  Now, in addition to its technological pedigree, it also connotes being “elegant or fashionable” – as in stylish, trendy, or chic.  Another synonym for “smart” is “lively”:  vigorous, energetic, or quick (which brings us back to keen and clever).  Of course “smart” has a shadow side:  e,g., insolent, rude, sarcastic, etc. and a connection with “pain” as in sting, burn, hurt, etc.  A smart comment can definitely smart; I call this “scarcasm.  With this caveat, I still like my candidate for the new KISS.

“Simple” Isn’t So Simple

Let me also dwell a moment on the first “S.”  While the “simple” of KISS for most traditionalists connotes such terms as mentally deficient, ignorant, unsophisticated, and gullible, the word potentially has more positive connotations, such as humble, tasteful, guileless, unaffected, natural, informal, real, essential, and genuine.  So in my book, a message or story that is “simple and smart” – is clear and genuine while also being clever, lively, and quick, and perhaps it might have a bit of an edge, as this example illustrates.  When reviewing stress smoke signals with an audience, I’ll ask if anyone deals with TMJ.  (It’s often a stress-related condition involving the chronic clenching of the jaw.)  Invariably several hands flutter.  My immediate reply, “And we know what TMJ really stands for:  Too Many Jerks!  Most assuredly simple and smart on several levels.

Ways to KISS

And there are more variations on a KISS theme than the French technique.  (Obviously, I’m keeping said tongue well planted in my own cheek.)  Let me count several ways of enabling your communication-message to be “Simple and Smart”:

1.  Acronyms.  Clearly, acronyms allow a message to be succinct and powerful (if not always “smart” in the “Emotionally Intelligent” sense of the word).  KISS or TMJ…these letters and lines definitely package and pack a punch; see “Alliteration” below.  Through form and function, acronyms allow for the selection of a manageable and digestible number of key “food for thought” elements.  Not only do acronyms help make a message seem meaty, in addition they make it memorable.  For example my “Natural SPEED Formula for Stress Resiliency, Brain Agility and Emotional Integrity”:  Sleep-Priorities-Passion-Empathy-Exercise-Diet.  Of course, use some discretion; it’s easy to OD on acronyms.  I’m a charter member of the new 12-step AA group:  Acronyms Anonymous.

2.  Analogy.  Analogy is a similarity between two things, having features that, at a first glance, are not always seen as related.  This cognitive-categorization process evokes a comparison whereby the resemblance may be more readily and rapidly understood: the analogy between the heart and a pump.  Analogy enables us to a) take familiar knowledge and experiment in a new arena or have a new situation challenge a conventional view, b) to perceive common threads among disparate elements or situations, c) sort wheat from chaff, and d) rapidly and often reliably get to the crux of a problem, thereby facilitating new perspective, applications or adaptations…talk about a smart (and survival-driven) conceptual tool!

Or use metaphor or comparative symbolic imagery to put some meat on a message bone.  Let me provide a personal example.  When I submit program titles for various speaking engagements, a frequent subtitle is:  “Combat Strategies at the Burnout Battlefront.”  People often feel there are war zone elements in their work situation.  I recall VA Head Nurses introducing themselves at the start of a stress workshop by barking out their last names and their wards:  “Walker, W-14, Thompson, W-18, Jones W-20.”  I immediately exclaimed, “It sounds like your reporting from the battlefront!”  Their sighs and nodding heads let me know I was on target.

So even if “Burnout Battlefront” is an exaggeration, folks believe I have a sense of their intense work conditions/stress levels.  Though for these nurses it wasn’t much of an exaggeration.  Their two favorite slogans:  “Do your eight and it the gate; nine to five and stay alive!”  (We’ve previously illustrated, a slogan or an adage is another way of generating an effective KISS.)  As for the extreme conditions, maybe it was a coincidence, though I don’t believe so…the very caring Director of Nursing who brought me in to lead the workshop was dead within a year from cancer.

P.S.  Surely, another way to convey “simple and smart” is through a pithy story, especially one that ranges from the playful to the poignant or vice versa.

2.  Alliteration and Rhyme.  Or try punching up a KISS by using alliteration; repeating the same letter at the beginning of a word, e.g., “burnout battlefront,” or repeating similar sounds, which takes us into the realm of rhyme.  The aforementioned nurses’ slogan will do:  “Do your eight and hit the gate; nine to five and stay alive.”  Walk the talk clearly has permeated mass consciousness.  Alliteration and rhyme give your words a “rhythm” – a beat, a pace, a cadence, a pulse – which makes your message vibrate, makes it distinctive, and helps capture peoples’ attention.  A radio host recently thanked me for being on his show and added, You have a unique rhythm to your speech that I want to tap on and you have great delivery.  Thanking him, I mentioned trying to project the emotional valence of just about every word or phrase that I use.  (Many moons ago, as a novice starting in radio, getting speech lessons from a theatre actress definitely helped.)

3.  Simple and Smart but also Silly or Sly.  Clearly, so many try to employ or simply enjoy humor as it helps grab attention, may facilitate social bonding or defuse interpersonal tension, and a good laugh relieves stress.  As many humor students have noted, laughing with gusto is like turning your body into a big vibrator, giving vital organs a brief but hardy internal massage…talk about a “simple and smart” message!  (Of course, in addition to healing or harmonizing humor there’s the hostile variety.  Darn, now I may need to start an Alliterations Anonymous group as well.)  And when your message can both quickly, and mostly gently, poke fun of cultural icons while helping us knowingly laugh at our own flaws and foibles…well that’s one desirable if not delicious KISS.  Consider the opening lines of the Stress Doc’s Stress Rap:

When it comes to feelings do you stuff them inside?
Is tough John Wayne your emotional guide?
And it’s not just men so proud and tight lipped
For every Rambo there seems to be a Rambette!

As I once penned, People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor!

4.  Be Surprising.  For some a message that’s both simple and smart may seem contradictory if not oxymoronic.  Actually, when you place “simple and smart” content in a quick and unexpected package you basically have captured the definition of “wit” as observed by revered American humorist, Mark Twain:  Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.  “Practice Safe Stress,” anyone?

Ironically, delving into my “wit” memory bank actually short-circuited my “New KISS” campaign.  Recalling Shakespeare’s dictum, Brevity is the soul of wit, I could no longer confine my creative communication concept to “simple and smart.”  The conceptual floodgates had opened.

Designing the Pass in the Impasse

In fact, my conceptual contentment lasted two days; predictably, my mind would not let me rest on “well enough” laurels.  Rumbling from underground were the cries:  “what about short and smart or simple and surprising”?  And of course, with the “fashionable” word smart we were just a small step from another powerful if not trendy “s”-word “sexy” – as in exciting, appealing, and a mind-opening “sexy idea.”

In fact, despite my angst about not getting too complex, I kept pushing the communicational envelope, coming up with various conceptual foursomes and combinations.  For example, my ascending action steps go from the “Concrete to the Collaborative”:
Concrete:  simple-short
Challenging:  smart-sexy
Creative:  surprising-synthesizing
Collaborative:  sharing-synergizing

And, yes, for those with Rubik's Cubed minds, there are all kinds of permutations as you envision the above "Four 'C' Dynamics" cognitively dancing with a "Process" also having four dimensions:  Information, Ideation, Integration, and Interaction.  The most obvious “CI” pairings actual constitute “action step” pathways:  Concrete Information Path, Challenging Ideation Path, Creative Integration Path, and Collaborative Interaction Path.  And this is just the beginning!

But this cacophony will be addressed in future writings and matrix-like images.  Hopefully, for the present, less will have you wanting more...as I buy some time for fleshing out this conceptual- and performance-driven multi-dimensional skeleton.  And the biggest challenge:  trying to maintain the spirit of KISS.  Till next time…Keep It Simple and Smart

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist andTeam Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc is also leading “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online -- HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com.

Critical Intervening and Creative Writing: Parallel Processes for Soothing the Heart, Sustaining the Soul, and Searching Anew for Purpose and Passion – Part l

The Stress Doc illustrates parallel “hybrid” – focused and flexible – processes in preparing for an emotionally challenging Critical Incident Intervention and attempting to relive and capture the “grief debrief” experience on the page or screen.  The paradoxical goal:  to soothe the heart and sustain the soul...and to make order from chaos and even generate some chaos from order!

Critical Intervening and Creative Writing:  Parallel Processes for Soothing the Heart, Sustaining the Soul, and Searching Anew for Purpose and Passion – Part l

At first, the intention of this essay was to provide a “content-process recipe” for a time-limited Critical Incident Debriefing involving the number of folks who crowd into the information-control central area of a typical hospital ward.  (Let’s say about twenty or so.)  And the recipe will be outlined in due course; actually in Part II.  However, as I let my fingers, mind, and words unfold on the keyboard and screen, parallels began percolating between preparing to write this piece and getting ready to lead and facilitate a critical intervention.  Certain events, like public speaking or facilitating a Critical Incident Intervention in the aftermath of some individual tragedy and organizational trauma, helps generate a hybrid mind space and set:  initially hyper-alert yet receptive and, hopefully, responsive as well as goal-driven, there often rises a need and desire for my own personal debriefing. Emotional catharsis and integration is facilitated by a post-intervention transitional space for reflection and written expression.

Linking the Cognitive and the Meditative
 

More specifically, each speaking and writing experience involves some mental rehearsal of key psycho-situational elements and strategies.  Almost simultaneously there’s a meditative-like contemplation of new relations among the ingredients – in real time the unfolding interactive and internal data and theories, tools, and techniques – along with the methods for cooking this informational gumbo.  An “R and R” – Rehearsal and Reflection – process allows swirling elements to slow and settle enough so that a point of entry emerges from the steamy mist.  Naturally, both arenas engage various ideas and memories derived from this and other intervention experiences.  From trial and error (sometimes terror; see below) experiences as a presenter and scribe I’ve gleaned hard earned wisdom:
a) a clear and concise initial focus along with,
b) a subsequent blend of rough logical outline and intuitive-trust your gut (while still seeking feedback) flexibility,
c) tends to be essential for a rational-reflective-responsive performance tool kit.
 

Performance Angst and Analysis, Adaptations and Art
 

In addition, the two settings stir performance anxiety, especially when alone, face-to-face with that computer scream, I mean screen.  To move beyond this “on the edge” self means silencing the “I’m not ready to do this” angst, and then leaping into the abyss.  Okay, I’m being a tad dramatic; it means throwing this cognitive-affective mix onto an electronic canvas – and then exploring next steps.  Sometimes the process is feverish; alas, sometimes I’m seemingly paralyzed, fortunate to be moving at a snail’s pace.

Nonetheless, I’m convinced, in Yin/Yang fashion, the courage to remain vulnerable during this crisis window of “danger and opportunity” heightens the grief learning curve both for presenter and participants.  Being at a loss, angry with or despairing of the status quo, thirsting for authentic connection and new possibility lays the groundwork for emotionally insightful, expressive, and creative vitality and connection.  For me, both speaking and writing are performance arts.  (It’s also possible that periodically watching the Winter Olympics – from preparation to performance, from elation to profound dejection – has helped prime my current thought process.)
 

The challenge is making sense over a period of time of a large and complex data configuration – whether doing a group grief session or, after the fact, trying to analyze the same.  With public presentation or group facilitation, once playing the opening move, a myriad of verbal and nonverbal emotional and communicational data points begin firing back at you.  And the trick is to make adjustments on your feet while still trusting your basic “walk the talk” path.  Also, to mix metaphors, as a writer, knowing when to deviate from the path and make your own finger prints; or expecting keyboard throwing to set the stage for predictable and surprising cutting and pasting, rewriting and editing maneuvers, including seeking input from outside sources.  Of course, as a conference speaker or a hospital grief consultant, I’m making my opening moves and editorial adaptations both in my mind and in front of an audience, an audience that may range from the receptive to the hostile.  And everything is happening Right Now!
 

Speaking and Writing in Rich Air and Ambiance
 

As a writer, I am most focused and impassioned shortly after actively experiencing and authentically engaging with an emotionally, physically, and/or interpersonally challenging situation or crisis state…even, at times, by reliving a provocative or disturbing dream.  Doing Critical Incident Work, interacting with people on the edge of tears and trauma, when words and nonverbal communication truly have the capacity to compassionately touch or turn off minds, hearts, and souls…this unpredictably sensitive yet vital surround enables me to breathe enriched oxygen.  Let me set the stage…
 

Before commencing the critical grief engagement, waiting in the wings to be introduced, the senses are finely tuned; my brain is on high alert.  I’m psycho-physiologically aroused yet, surprisingly, there’s an idling quiet, maybe a tad edgy calm.  The memory banks are open but on standby as I have few preconceived expectations.  My mind-body is in a focused-fluid space, both absorbing the scene with “soft” eyes and ears while scanning the environment for anomalies and possible noteworthy cues.  And this relaxed yet hyper-alert condition records and encodes emotional images and ideas will be accessible for review and reflection, if not imaginative reverie and wordplay, for some extended time period.  (Of course, recall is aided by jotting down brief yet salient points and images shortly after the charged or critical event.  However, if another experience, even more compelling or disruptive, captures or jams my mental radar, then the challenge becomes restoring some dynamic equilibrium.  I have to psychologically work my way back to that relaxed and attuned, “word artist” state; once again attempting to induce a hopefully pregnant, flexibly focused mind ready to plunge into that blank screen, that compelling, Siren-like writer’s web.)  As mentioned above, fortunately, this enriched atmosphere has a fairly long shelf life, enabling me to transport and harness this pulsating O₂ for the keyboard arena.

Finding Order in Chaos and Even Stirring Some Chaos in Order

As a grief consultant, a primary goal is helping employees make some sense of the incomprehensible tragedy of a life suddenly (and sometimes brutally) swept out of their personal lives and communal work space.  I also want to them to better understand the array of emotions and memories often triggered in the face of shocking news; to facilitate some heartfelt sharing while mutually designing a resilient border around the silently smoldering, streaming, or fuming chaos.
 

Clearly, as a grief consultant and writer, I too strive for deepened self-awareness.  Such understanding is enhanced by reflectively sketching, shaping, and sharing ideas and images, intuitions and insights gleaned in the lion’s den.  At the same time, both as writer and speaker, when the timing is right I occasionally induce some chaos (or creative confusion, e.g., through novel conception, unexpected expression, thought-provoking challenge, etc.) from order or convention.  I’ll even inject some “healing humor” when the moment seems apt.  As the pioneering film genius, Charlie Chaplin observed:  A paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it is precisely the tragic which arouses the funny.  We have to laugh due to our helplessness in the face of natural forces…and in order not to go crazy.
 

For example, I recently performed a “Shrink Rap” ™ during a group grief debrief.  Not only did participants begin to relax for the first time in days, staff also began laughing and swaying to my questionable rhythm.  People now realized it was okay to share a light-hearted moment within a dark background and laugh collectively.  Generating order from chaos and stimulating some chaos from order is a high priority objective, whether as a speaker, grief consultant, work-life coach, or writer.
 

Content-Process Guidelines for a Critical Incident Intervention
 

We are finally ready for my strategic intervention recipe, where the meal has to be prepared, served, and digested in twenty minutes.  (I’m beginning to feel like a contestant on some performance-based reality show.)  Actually, the serving a meal metaphor may not be so farfetched.  Shortly after completing the two 20-mintue interventions, the Hospital Chaplin approached me.  She thanked me for coming and then said:  “You had them in the palm of your hands.”  Taken aback, I was truly touched by her words.  Apparently, I was not only offering “food for thought,” but a balm for the heart, sustenance for the soul, and hope for the future.

In closing, the event to be examined is a blend – both Critical Incident Intervention and public presentation.  And, hopefully, my speaking-writing parallel gumbo has sufficiently whetted your appetite so you’ll stay for the rest of the dinner, which will be served in Part II.  Until then, just remember…Practice Safe Stress!

 

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.