Critical Intervening and Creative Writing: Parallel Processes for Soothing the Heart, Sustaining the Soul, and Searching Anew for Purpose and Passion – Part l

The Stress Doc illustrates parallel “hybrid” – focused and flexible – processes in preparing for an emotionally challenging Critical Incident Intervention and attempting to relive and capture the “grief debrief” experience on the page or screen.  The paradoxical goal:  to soothe the heart and sustain the soul...and to make order from chaos and even generate some chaos from order!

Critical Intervening and Creative Writing:  Parallel Processes for Soothing the Heart, Sustaining the Soul, and Searching Anew for Purpose and Passion – Part l

At first, the intention of this essay was to provide a “content-process recipe” for a time-limited Critical Incident Debriefing involving the number of folks who crowd into the information-control central area of a typical hospital ward.  (Let’s say about twenty or so.)  And the recipe will be outlined in due course; actually in Part II.  However, as I let my fingers, mind, and words unfold on the keyboard and screen, parallels began percolating between preparing to write this piece and getting ready to lead and facilitate a critical intervention.  Certain events, like public speaking or facilitating a Critical Incident Intervention in the aftermath of some individual tragedy and organizational trauma, helps generate a hybrid mind space and set:  initially hyper-alert yet receptive and, hopefully, responsive as well as goal-driven, there often rises a need and desire for my own personal debriefing. Emotional catharsis and integration is facilitated by a post-intervention transitional space for reflection and written expression.

Linking the Cognitive and the Meditative
 

More specifically, each speaking and writing experience involves some mental rehearsal of key psycho-situational elements and strategies.  Almost simultaneously there’s a meditative-like contemplation of new relations among the ingredients – in real time the unfolding interactive and internal data and theories, tools, and techniques – along with the methods for cooking this informational gumbo.  An “R and R” – Rehearsal and Reflection – process allows swirling elements to slow and settle enough so that a point of entry emerges from the steamy mist.  Naturally, both arenas engage various ideas and memories derived from this and other intervention experiences.  From trial and error (sometimes terror; see below) experiences as a presenter and scribe I’ve gleaned hard earned wisdom:
a) a clear and concise initial focus along with,
b) a subsequent blend of rough logical outline and intuitive-trust your gut (while still seeking feedback) flexibility,
c) tends to be essential for a rational-reflective-responsive performance tool kit.
 

Performance Angst and Analysis, Adaptations and Art
 

In addition, the two settings stir performance anxiety, especially when alone, face-to-face with that computer scream, I mean screen.  To move beyond this “on the edge” self means silencing the “I’m not ready to do this” angst, and then leaping into the abyss.  Okay, I’m being a tad dramatic; it means throwing this cognitive-affective mix onto an electronic canvas – and then exploring next steps.  Sometimes the process is feverish; alas, sometimes I’m seemingly paralyzed, fortunate to be moving at a snail’s pace.

Nonetheless, I’m convinced, in Yin/Yang fashion, the courage to remain vulnerable during this crisis window of “danger and opportunity” heightens the grief learning curve both for presenter and participants.  Being at a loss, angry with or despairing of the status quo, thirsting for authentic connection and new possibility lays the groundwork for emotionally insightful, expressive, and creative vitality and connection.  For me, both speaking and writing are performance arts.  (It’s also possible that periodically watching the Winter Olympics – from preparation to performance, from elation to profound dejection – has helped prime my current thought process.)
 

The challenge is making sense over a period of time of a large and complex data configuration – whether doing a group grief session or, after the fact, trying to analyze the same.  With public presentation or group facilitation, once playing the opening move, a myriad of verbal and nonverbal emotional and communicational data points begin firing back at you.  And the trick is to make adjustments on your feet while still trusting your basic “walk the talk” path.  Also, to mix metaphors, as a writer, knowing when to deviate from the path and make your own finger prints; or expecting keyboard throwing to set the stage for predictable and surprising cutting and pasting, rewriting and editing maneuvers, including seeking input from outside sources.  Of course, as a conference speaker or a hospital grief consultant, I’m making my opening moves and editorial adaptations both in my mind and in front of an audience, an audience that may range from the receptive to the hostile.  And everything is happening Right Now!
 

Speaking and Writing in Rich Air and Ambiance
 

As a writer, I am most focused and impassioned shortly after actively experiencing and authentically engaging with an emotionally, physically, and/or interpersonally challenging situation or crisis state…even, at times, by reliving a provocative or disturbing dream.  Doing Critical Incident Work, interacting with people on the edge of tears and trauma, when words and nonverbal communication truly have the capacity to compassionately touch or turn off minds, hearts, and souls…this unpredictably sensitive yet vital surround enables me to breathe enriched oxygen.  Let me set the stage…
 

Before commencing the critical grief engagement, waiting in the wings to be introduced, the senses are finely tuned; my brain is on high alert.  I’m psycho-physiologically aroused yet, surprisingly, there’s an idling quiet, maybe a tad edgy calm.  The memory banks are open but on standby as I have few preconceived expectations.  My mind-body is in a focused-fluid space, both absorbing the scene with “soft” eyes and ears while scanning the environment for anomalies and possible noteworthy cues.  And this relaxed yet hyper-alert condition records and encodes emotional images and ideas will be accessible for review and reflection, if not imaginative reverie and wordplay, for some extended time period.  (Of course, recall is aided by jotting down brief yet salient points and images shortly after the charged or critical event.  However, if another experience, even more compelling or disruptive, captures or jams my mental radar, then the challenge becomes restoring some dynamic equilibrium.  I have to psychologically work my way back to that relaxed and attuned, “word artist” state; once again attempting to induce a hopefully pregnant, flexibly focused mind ready to plunge into that blank screen, that compelling, Siren-like writer’s web.)  As mentioned above, fortunately, this enriched atmosphere has a fairly long shelf life, enabling me to transport and harness this pulsating O₂ for the keyboard arena.

Finding Order in Chaos and Even Stirring Some Chaos in Order

As a grief consultant, a primary goal is helping employees make some sense of the incomprehensible tragedy of a life suddenly (and sometimes brutally) swept out of their personal lives and communal work space.  I also want to them to better understand the array of emotions and memories often triggered in the face of shocking news; to facilitate some heartfelt sharing while mutually designing a resilient border around the silently smoldering, streaming, or fuming chaos.
 

Clearly, as a grief consultant and writer, I too strive for deepened self-awareness.  Such understanding is enhanced by reflectively sketching, shaping, and sharing ideas and images, intuitions and insights gleaned in the lion’s den.  At the same time, both as writer and speaker, when the timing is right I occasionally induce some chaos (or creative confusion, e.g., through novel conception, unexpected expression, thought-provoking challenge, etc.) from order or convention.  I’ll even inject some “healing humor” when the moment seems apt.  As the pioneering film genius, Charlie Chaplin observed:  A paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it is precisely the tragic which arouses the funny.  We have to laugh due to our helplessness in the face of natural forces…and in order not to go crazy.
 

For example, I recently performed a “Shrink Rap” ™ during a group grief debrief.  Not only did participants begin to relax for the first time in days, staff also began laughing and swaying to my questionable rhythm.  People now realized it was okay to share a light-hearted moment within a dark background and laugh collectively.  Generating order from chaos and stimulating some chaos from order is a high priority objective, whether as a speaker, grief consultant, work-life coach, or writer.
 

Content-Process Guidelines for a Critical Incident Intervention
 

We are finally ready for my strategic intervention recipe, where the meal has to be prepared, served, and digested in twenty minutes.  (I’m beginning to feel like a contestant on some performance-based reality show.)  Actually, the serving a meal metaphor may not be so farfetched.  Shortly after completing the two 20-mintue interventions, the Hospital Chaplin approached me.  She thanked me for coming and then said:  “You had them in the palm of your hands.”  Taken aback, I was truly touched by her words.  Apparently, I was not only offering “food for thought,” but a balm for the heart, sustenance for the soul, and hope for the future.

In closing, the event to be examined is a blend – both Critical Incident Intervention and public presentation.  And, hopefully, my speaking-writing parallel gumbo has sufficiently whetted your appetite so you’ll stay for the rest of the dinner, which will be served in Part II.  Until then, just remember…Practice Safe Stress!

 

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Productively Focusing Job Interview-Performance Anxiety: Transforming “Perfection” into Purpose, Patience and Possibility

[This article was written with the permission and in consultation with the below-mentioned phone-coaching client.]

Once again, through the wonder of the Internet, I've had a chance to connect with a bright, insightful and articulate individual. Our email interaction began when Barbara, (a fictional name), discovered one of my writings, and we now periodically exchange ideas. Married and in her 40s, Barbara is a government employee, an HR professional for a mid-sized, Mid-Atlantic city. She’s been an in-house consultant to the police department for a number of years. Recently, Barbara has applied for a management position in the department. However, her application is hardly a slam-dunk. Assigned to the police department, as an HR employee she’s seen as an outsider, and also viewed as a “worker bee,” not necessarily management material. (As a government employee, Barbara has not been a full-time manager, though in her consulting position she has been involved in management activities such as recruiting and performance review.)

In light of the job application uncertainty, Barbara inquired about a phone coaching session with the “Stress Doc.” Having had a number of successful coaching experiences, I was delighted to get started. The voice-to-voice encounter only confirmed and further elucidated my impression gleaned from the written word. Clearly, this was a very competent and “likes to get things done” woman who nonetheless had some issues with performance anxiety. (Barbara believes she has a good relationship with the Police Chief. She herself did not mention gender bias as a cause for job interview concern, though, in light of the specific department and the ultimate group interview gauntlet, one cannot entirely dismiss the possibility.)

Another factor noted in her self-questioning was a double-edged relationship with a father who had a somewhat perfectionist personality. While Barbara’s father was a model for high-achievement striving, perhaps another consequence was the oft-hovering voice, “Prove yourself!” And sometimes, such a voice (or, at least, our internalized version) is never fully satisfied, resulting in a seemingly Greek God-like mythological drama. With strained (mental) muscles and perspiring brow, you quietly curse the huge, precarious boulder, pushing and exhorting it up the mountain…alas, never quite reaching the summit. Unable to defy the forces of gravity (nor the angry gods), the boulder invariably reverses course, and rumbles down to the base. Still, not one to give up easily, once again you screw up the courage for the daunting – if not Sisyphean – task ahead.

Actually, Barbara successfully jumped a number of preliminary hoops in the interview process, which crawled on for several months. Finally, notification arrived that she had earned a ticket to the group interview arena. And again Barbara emailed for another coaching session.

Birds of a Feather – Freeze, Fly High and Finally Learn to Focus

Barbara quickly revealed a mature and rational side: “No matter what happens with the interview, I’m glad I went through the process.” She learned much from the experience, including strengths and vulnerabilities of key decision-makers in the department, and articulated heretofore insufficiently recognized facets and talents. She felt more visible. Still, the odds were not necessarily in her favor; Barbara believed there typically is a preference for an “outside” candidate. This reminded me of the old saw about a “consultant”: “Someone who’s an expert from somewhere else.”

At the same time, angst was apparent with the plan for her husband to videotape an interview rehearsal. Something in my gut and memory bank said this was overkill. I agreed with the idea of practice trials and feedback from her husband. My concern about the videotape was having Barbara become so self-conscious about her appearance, gestures and other nonverbals, so caught up in a memorized script, that her quite evident knowledge and experience, her personal-professional stories, would not naturally flow.

To make sure I wasn’t simply projecting, I shared with Barbara my “stage fright” experience taping my first health segment for Cox Cable, New Orleans in the ‘80s. Totally self-preoccupied, I spoke in thirty second bursts and then my brain would freeze. This scenario was repeated several times before I mercifully completed the segment. Just as I was ready to flee the scene, one of the cameramen suggested we review the tape. He cut off my face-saving protest with, “Don’t worry, we’ll be able to use this for our blooper special.”

“Thanks, pal.” Actually, through the magic of TV editing the final product was only half bad. (As we left the production truck, I’ll never forget the producer’s closing words: “I don’t expect perfection…just improvement each week.” Along with a silent sigh of relief, she also got my attention.) And my health segment continued for two seasons. Still, I didn’t want Barbara to unnecessarily put herself in such a self-conscious space.

Becoming a Wise, Not Just a Wily Coyote

Another performance stress association came to mind: this time, helping a trial attorney harness his anxiety when presenting before a jury. While still winning many of his court cases, he was becoming increasingly self-conscious and self-doubting. (He too had a perfectionist father, though his could be rather critical.) I recalled how this attorney (let’s call him John), would try to hide his angst with a bold opening argument. This approach proved a dysfunctional ploy; within a minute, being an “impostor” was the overriding self-perception. The image I shared was of the cartoon characters Roadrunner and Wily Coyote. The Coyote is chasing Roadrunner to the edge of a cliff. The roadrunner leaps off and the “Not So Wily One” does the same. And for a few seconds, Old Wily is pumping furiously with bravado, still expecting to capture his nemesis when, suddenly, he looks down. Now, big trouble panic races across the Coyote’s face…as he crashes down to earth.

I had to help this attorney learn to start with more moderate and realistic expectations, to be more genuine, that is, to help him understand that some performance anxiety is actually necessary for productive focus and heightened performance. Revealing some start-up anxiety is not unnatural, unmanly or self-defeating. Even Olympic ice skaters don’t lead with a triple axel. One warms-up with easier moves and then “slowly but surely” builds momentum.

I recalled how John said to me, with too much intensity in his voice, “Mark if I can just do what we’ve discussed, I know I’ll do well.” I immediately confronted John’s rigid and perfectionist tone, and reaffirmed that I just wanted him to gradually, to more gently apply some of the tools and techniques. He didn’t have to hammer out mastery all at once. And, in fact, John eventually reported doing much better in the courtroom. His exact words: “If I don’t get anything else out of this therapy, it will have been worth it!”

Laughing at the “Birds of Worry”

In a follow-up email, Barbara indicated that the Roadrunner story and an old Chinese aphorism, also shared on the phone, had been particularly helpful. The aphorism goes as follows: “That the birds of worry fly above your head, this you cannot help. That they build nests in your hair, this you can do something about!” (I recall the pithy saying evoking hearty laughter. Perhaps Barbara was already anticipating the sage observation of psychiatrist, Ernst Kris: What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at. And as the Stress Doc inverted: What was once feared and is now laughed at is no longer a master!)

Apparently, Barbara’s (nest-free) interview performance reflected her talents and experience, along with the meaningful practice and emotional integration. Perhaps she was also feedback-fortified with a quick boost of focus and confidence. While waiting for the final verdict, she had already received some informal positive feedback from members of the interview committee. (I’ll keep you posted on her job search journey.)

Hopefully, this article will help you get a better handle on anxiety and on applying tools for enhancing self-perception and presentation no matter the performance arena. Feel free to email or call if you’d like more info on a voice-to-voice/coaching perspective. Best wishes and good adventures for the New Year. And, of course…Practice Safe Stress!


Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote & kickoff speaker, webinar presenter, as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also rotated as a Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.