"Inspiring" Refugee Health Plenary, Preserving Human Touch… Review and Selections: Stress Doc Potpourri

I have mostly been finishing up my next Amazon e-book, Fierce Longing…Fiery Loss:  Relearning to Let Go, Laugh & Love:  Through Resiliency Poetry and Shrink Rap ™.  Hopefully, it will be published sometime in August.  It’s definitely a book from the heart, initiated by pain and loss, yet on the path of healing and hope.

In between, I led a couple of speaking/workshop programs, one for a Lutheran Ministry and, just this past Thursday, a Plenary at a Refugee Summit in Richmond, Virginia.  Both programs got rave reviews.  Let me share the latest testimonials:

Statewide Refugee Mental Health Summit/Richmond, VA; Practice Safe Stress: Using Humor in the Face of Stress, Burnout, and Conflict -- Plenary Speaker; 1 hour; 75 attendees

Jul 8, 2016

MG,

Thank you so much for inspiring our participants in the 3rd Statewide Refugee Mental Health Summit with your wit and humor as well as helping set the tone for the rest of the day.  Your topic Practice Safe Stress: Using Humor in the Face of Stress, Burnout and Conflict was just the right choice.  I believe you have felt their response -- how much they enjoyed it, as well as how much they need it, so they can effectively carry out their job of helping others.  The strength of our initiative depends on these people who champion our cause for refugee mental health. I can’t thank you enough for coming to be our plenary speaker.

Sincerely,

Eva

Eva  P. Stitt, Ph.D.
Refugee Mental Health Analyst
Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Development Services
Office of Cultural and Linguistic Competence
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HI Mark,

It was a pleasure spending time with you and I really appreciated your presentation. I will discuss your presentation with our trainers.  I will keep in touch,

Deborah  C. Moore, RN, BSN, MPH
Nurse Manager II, Senior
deborah.moore@vdh.virginia.gov

Hampton-Peninsula  Health Department
3130 Victoria  Blvd., Hampton, VA, 23661
Office (757)315-3779
416 J Clyde Morris Blvd., Newport News, VA 23601
Office (757)594-7903

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Preserving Human Touch… E-book on Amazon:  Synopsis, Review, and Two Selections

Of course, I’m still promoting my new Amazon e-offering, Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World:  Writings, Raps & Rhymes on Stress Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity.  While certainly not a runaway best-seller, sales continue apace, with six five-star reviews!  Embracing the path of shameless marketing, here are two selections from PHT…:  a) a Q & A written for Workforce Magazine, Workforce Q & A:  Seven Highly Effective Habits of Trust-Expanding Organizations, and b) in light of all the recent shootings, a Resiliency Rap on a tragedy in the workplace:  “Learning from the Fatal Flaw.”

Here’s a brief synopsis and a thought-provoking review:

Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World...

Is Live on Amazon/Kindle:

Writings, Raps & Rhymes on Stress Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity – a Passionate and Playful Mix of Meaning and Magic...and Burnout Battlefield Experience!

Check out the Amazon e-book as well as the provocative cover; please consider reading/reviewing.  Nice price:  $3.99!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GIPXVH4/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb

Synopsis:  An insightful and inspiring guide for self-discovery and heart-to-heart connection, Preserving Human Touch... is the painful, playful, and soulful outpouring of a one-of-a-kind – stage and page – "word artist."  For example, Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc ™, is pioneering the field of psychologically humorous "rap music," calling it, of course, – Shrink Rap ™ Productions!  (Would you expect any less from a “Motivational Psychohumorist” ™?)  Whether poetry or prose, purposeful or poignant, the language is colorful yet clear – a tapestry of meaningful substance and magical style.  This ingenious synthesis is best captured by the “Stress Doc’s” ™ quest to be the Dr. Seuss of Stress for Adults (and kids of all ages). 

Or as a recent mystery reader of Preserving Human Touch...commented in an Amazon review:

Powerful Stuff!  The StressDoc goes poetic!! For years, Mark Gorkin has been mixing laughter, learning, and lucidity (the Three L's!) in tackling the tough issues of stress manifestations in human encounters. In this wise e-book, Mark applies his considerable poetic talents to diagnose and propose remedies for our love-hate relationship with ever more invasive technology. Ranging from on-the-job burnout to adolescent cellphone fixations, Mark's lyrics strike home at the funny bone, while using his psychological savvy to suggest ways in which we can reassert Mastery over the Machine. It's a unique twist on the self-help book, perfect for those crazy enough to be reading work emails at four o'clock in the morning.

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Workforce Q & A:  Seven Highly Effective Habits of Trust-Expanding Organizations

Q.  Dear Workforce:  How do we repair broken trust? As a facilitator of leadership training, I know trust underlies a foundation of success. But what practical fixes does this entail?

--Trust Deficit, HR training analyst, Colorado Springs, Colorado

A.  In this time of organizational restructuring, rapid operational-technological change and economic uncertainty rebuilding trust is definitely a challenging and not uncommon task.  However, all levels of management can take the lead in this rebuilding process if they follow some basic principles and key strategic steps.  Much of my thinking has been influenced by The Speed of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything, 2006, a book written by Stephen M. R. Covey, the son of the renowned organizational guru and author, Stephen Covey.  In fact, for the son, the foundation of successful leadership is achieving results in a way that inspires trust.  There’s an atmosphere of transparency and two-way communication, and employees believe their talents and efforts are contributing to the present and future success of the company.  A final leadership core practice:  leaders take more than their fair share of blame and give more than their fair share of credit.  Or, as was noted in The Speed of Trust:  when things go well look out the window; when things go wrong look in the mirror!

With the above framework, and the assumption that there has been some recent loss of trust, here are “Seven Strategic Steps for Rebuilding Organizational Trust”:

1.  Hold a Focus Group.  One of the best ways to begin a healing and trust building process is a meeting, or a series of meetings, that allow people to appropriately share their concerns or vent frustrations about people or processes that have contributed to a destabilizing or trust-eroding organizational atmosphere or culture.  Of course, you need a skilled and objective facilitator.  When employees see that management doesn’t get defensive during this exchange and acknowledges broad concerns, participates in a genuine give and take and, in timely fashion, takes meaningful problem-solving steps, trust levels begin to rise.

2.  Acknowledge “Hidden Agendas.”  When possible, “speak the unspeakable,” that is, bring up the 800 lb. gorilla in the room.  Being transparent doesn’t mean you have to put everything on the table, but certainly share appropriate information about problematic issues or about what is and is not in your immediate control, along with what information you do and don’t have.  (These last two issues are particularly salient when there are rumors about a possible restructuring or downsizing.)

3.  Talk Straight and Ask Good Questions.  Try to get to the point without too much digression or over-explanation as this diminishes your credibility with an audience.  When possible do some preparation; precision of language commands attention.  If this is an issue, what keeps you from talking straight – fear of consequences or being wrong, fear of hurting others, wanting to be liked, a duplicitous environment, etc.?  Conversely, ask good questions.  The essence of a good question: a) humility:  “I don’t have all the answers” and b) openness:  “I really would like to hear and learn from your point of view.”  Remember, when a person is communicating with high emotion, he or she likely still feels misunderstood.

4.  Don’t Bad Mouth Others Behind Their Back, Especially Folks No Longer in the Company.  All “behind the back” talk does is fuel employee mistrust:  “What do (or will) people say about me when I’m not around (or when I retire)?”  And if people are talking negatively about a current employee, encourage people to talk directly with the person; offer to mediate (or to find a mediator) when appropriate.

5.  Don’t Overpromise and Under Deliver; Keep Your Commitments.  As I like to say, beware of being motivated by egoals, that is, when your goals are driven less by the needs, demands, resources and challenges of a situation and more by ego and false pride.  Remember, as Covey notes, when you make a commitment you build hope; when you keep a commitment you build trust!

6.  Create a Learning-Trust Building Culture.  In addition to acknowledging a personal mistake in a timely manner, when possible view errors as less a sign of incompetence and more an indicator of inexperience or some immaturity, maybe even boldness.

7.  Extend Trust.  Design rules and procedures for the overwhelming majority of people you can trust.  Grant trust abundantly to those who’ve earned it; extend conditionally to those earning it, while examining the situation, the risk potential and the credibility – for Covey, the competence and character – of those involved for more opportunities to extend trust.

Hopefully, these principles and strategic practices will rejuvenate a climate of trust in your shop and will help one and all…Practice Safe Stress!

(c)  Mark Gorkin  2010
Shrink Rap ™ Productions

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Learning from the Fatal Flaw

In light of another school (or workplace) shooting…

As a Critical Incident Consultant, I’m poignantly aware how unexpected dramas and tragedies lurk behind every corner and crevice of our hearts and minds…and also lie in the shadows of our homes, schools, and places of work.  Out of the quiet, out of The Death of a Salesman closet, Arthur Miller screams:  Attention must be paid!  And sometimes we must risk trusting our gut, risk “overreacting” and being mislabeled, and say something to the right someone…or be the right someone!

Learning from the Fatal Flaw

Did she really take her life over a phone?

Taken from a colleague…now all’s undone!

One woman dead, one torn apart

Guilt spears a throbbing heart

Regret for filing that stolen report

Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?

Can one grasp obscure knowledge

On the all too human fatal edge?

To get on the same page, one must leave a stage

Masked by “got it together” pain and rage.

Even with the latest gauge, who knows faux-taupe from beige?

Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?

Yet a friend sensed her look, a fearful absent look.

Still her head stayed by the book…

Why didn’t she speak up?

Neither one trusted their gut

“Don’t be a pain in the butt!”

So we doubt?  So we doubt?  So we doubt?

Do we pass in the hall and nod

In a hazy-distant fog

And mouth, “How you doing?”…

But only reminiscing; more simply whistling

Who has time for real listening?

Do your thing?  Do your thing?  Do your thing?

Now so sad; maybe wiser:  are we respecting one another?

Whatever happened to “sister” and “brother”?

Wide-eyed to foreign experience

Energized by expressive variance

Growing through world view deviance.

Will you dance?  Will you dance?  Will you dance?

Is it too risky to share

Without some faith in the air?

Of course, you can’t flip a switch, still

Pull one from a ditch; let another bitch…

The sky’s not falling – more a glitch.

For a culture to be rich, offer a broad-shouldered niche.

Hey, it’s “get real” or be a bust:

Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!

© Mark Gorkin  2014

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

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Purpose of the Poem, Power to the Poet

The poem traces the psychological steps and missteps of a workplace tragedy.  When reporting a colleague – a colleague struggling with well-disguised personal issues – has fatal consequences, there are searing emotional repercussions:  guilt, second-guessing, the questioning of motives, etc.  Even superficial civility comes under scrutiny.  Can “sadder yet wiser” translate into “sister and brother”?  Finally, some ideas for grappling with the refrains of “Who is at fault?,” “Who is a sage?,” “So we doubt,” “Do your thing,” and “Will you dance?”  Most important are closing strategies with “trust”-building potential.

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Discussion Questions

1.  Have you ever taken an action with which you’ve had regret?  Have you faced your emotions and/or the other person(s)?  What did you learn from the experience?

2.  Have you ever sensed someone being in pain or trouble and not spoken up?  What contributed to your silence?

3.  In a submarine study on problem-solving, it was found that the most diverse groups invariably came up with most creative problem-solving solutions.  Why might this be the case?

4.  How would you create a more trusting climate in a classroom or with a team?

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative.  A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.  The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info, email:  stressdoc@aol.com.

Dynamics of a “Passion Power” Partnership”: Enduring the Crucible, Cleaning the Wound, Forging New Ground

Dynamics of a “Passion Power” Partnership”:

Enduring the Crucible, Cleaning the Wound, Forging New Ground

I was the fearful, confused, angry bronco determined to throw him off.  He was the steadfast rider, holding the reins tight, yet allowing enough slack for me to snort, kick, and buck.  Never was there a sensation of being choked.  Still, there were a few times I came close to bolting.  And, as he explained later, he too wondered if I would ever let him again be my mount.

And the present day drama brought me back to a childhood trauma…when I was the scared little rider.  And alas, my father was not able to hold onto the reins.  Actually, it was the seat of a bike.  Maybe I was five or six, and dad was trying to teach me how to ride.  Though it was the early ‘50s, perhaps “The Great Depression” (as well as my dad’s major – perhaps manic – depression) played a role in the fiasco.  Knowing dad and his fairly impoverished childhood, especially after his father left the roost, he probably bought a bike that was too big, figuring the bike would last longer.  Alas, a tipping point obstacle for an anxious kid.  While most of the brain-body memory is repressed, I was not able to learn to ride the bike.

The Remains of that Day

Likely, dad was frustrated with me as well as with himself.  And we both felt like failures, him as a father-teacher, and me as son-learner.  I have no recollection of our ever having another riding lesson, nor of our ever talking about this experience – as a child or an adult.  It would take nearly twenty years (and both of us being in therapy) before beginning to bridge our widespread communication chasm.

The only indelible “bike” imprint was the ongoing “silent shame” watching other kids riding their bikes, taking off from the apartment building on some individual or group adventure.  Not only was a feeling of inadequacy reinforced but so too was lost opportunity for reducing separation anxiety, heightening sense of mastery, as well as independent exploration.  I still carry these painful memories, brain baggage that never totally empties.  Even today, upon hearing adults talk of a relatively carefree childhood or a capacity for early joyful learning, my eyes may suddenly water; my mood, for a time, turns perceptibly somber.

Post-script:  About six years post-learning curb failure, one day I saw a six-year old riding a small two-wheeler.  I briefly commandeered the bike…wobbling and falling, but also persisting.  About an hour later, I had become a “rough rider.”  Alas, the feeling was more relief than real accomplishment.  I never mentioned this “N of one trial” to anyone.  I never asked for a “three speed”; sadly, I never became real buddies with a bike.

Back to the Daunting Digital Future

So what’s the connection between the metaphoric horse-riding (in the present) and the bike-riding scenarios (from the past, though still emotionally alive and kicking me today)?  Let me provide some background.  I am in the process of publishing an e-book titled, Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  The path is strewn with visible and covert IEDs – Infrastructural Electronic Dangers – especially for a sixty-something, “Internet Immigrant” like myself.  When it comes to most digital technology, I may not be a “dinosaur” but “early stage mammal” label would be apt.

Having to work with and, especially, be dependent on other individuals – a college-age graphic artist (who did not know how to format an e-book cover) and a professional e-book formatter, who doesn’t talk to clients on the phone – definitely had me quite edgy, if not on the emotional edge.  In the mental grind to the publishing finish line, if not for my good friend E, a truly compassionate and, when necessary, “tough love” spiritual brother, I would not have made it.

“E” is for Exceptional

First and foremost, E is the personification of an individual who integrates both “High Tech and Human Touch.”  Almost twenty years my junior, he’s a graduate of Johns Hopkins Medical School who decided not to practice medicine.  A Renaissance individual who both loves to write and to explore the intricate architecture of the digital world.  E works for Medicare and consults on writing and web design with various contracting agencies.  And he’s a devoted father who continues to grapple with the contemporary challenges of balancing work, marital and family life, along with a passion for writing.  (E has a popular blog and is awaiting his soon to be published novel).

Some additional background info:  E and I have known each other for the last three years or so. But it was this past year that solidified our psycho-spiritual bond.  For example, E vividly captured growing up in an insular ("de facto" segregated or exclusive, depending on one’s socio-economic point of view) hardscrabble, working class African-American community in Michigan.  Mostly raised by a controlling single mother, his upbringing was steeped in spirituality.  He is in a bi-racial marriage.  (My roots are working-middle class, Jewish, and Brooklyn-Queens, attended Stuyvesant H.S. in Manhattan; alas, a family tree strewn with serious psychiatric labels and breakdowns. I was a late bloomer.  I’d say my religious-cultural affiliation is Jewish Atheist.  Also, never married.)  Significant emotional pain is a common childhood thread uniting our past and present day sensibilities.

This last year, we both really opened up.  Some of his “life at home and on the street” tales evoked both wonder and tears.  In turn, E lent a head, heart, and shoulder, helping me grieve the loss of a beloved three-year old – collateral damage in the dissolution of a ten-year relationship with my ex.  Once again, turning the mirror, E says he is inspired by my uncommon ability to paint with words, to capture what’s in my heart and portray it on the page.  (A former girlfriend once dubbed me a “word artist.”)  So words, water, and mutual wonder have cast a web in which E and I both are inextricably – intimately, inseparably, and most gratefully – bound!

Trial by Fire

With the above narrative in mind, let me refocus this essay’s opening – horse and rider – partnership paragraph in a more representational light.  Not being able to meet at our common hangout, Mad City Coffeehouse, over the phone E was trying to get me to see my manuscript in the “Bazaar Book Reader” (BBR) platform.  (To my way of thinking/reading, “Bizarre” could also work.)  First, I couldn’t recall my Microsoft password.  Then, the platform was not accessible without passing a letter-number security code.  And I kept failing, as the design was complexly intricate for a primitive brain.  E asked me to take a picture of the code and send it to him.  Somewhat ashamed, I had to admit never using the camera.  So suddenly I’m engulfed in a learning curve/trial by fire scenario.  And the communication phone friction is mostly turning the rising heat into a growing conflagration!  Admittedly, the frustration and friction is one-sided.  My blood pressure is rising.  (Stress Doc heal thyself!)

With patient coaching, I finally figure out how to shoot and send.  We eventually get on Bazaar Book Reader after E inadvertently triggers an awareness of my Microsoft Password.  Of course, an inner voice is berating me for floundering and wasting a half-hour of our time.  Again and again, E keeps saying we have plenty of time.  With all the angst-ringing in my ears, it’s hard to hear (or believe) him.

Finally, opening the e-book (for me, nothing is “plug and play”)…I start making sense – through fits and starts – of the BBR “App command,” that is, how you navigate the pages, Table of Contents, text size and spacing, etc., of the book.  As noted, several times I blurted out my frustration, questioning the workability of this virtual tech support.  A digital learning curve is challenging enough; trying to play follow the leader on the phone…I’m just about ready to quit….but I don’t!  As General George Patton noted:  Courage is fear holding on a minute longer!  (So maybe I’m a tad hypocritical.  This quote was delivered to my inbox this morning.)

Purpose, Patience, and Persistence:  The Dynamics of Passionate Partnership

In truth, it was our partnership that kept me in the cyber-corral, not just bucking and running from atavistic instincts.  E had a goal and an understanding:  to do meaningful editing for the formatter, it was critical my viewing the e-book’s text in an e-reader format.  Beyond having to jump in the trenches, my main driver:  I was so appreciative of his time and energy…guilt kept me from aborting our mission.  And, in fact, we discovered a vital operational structure that needed reformatting – hyperlinking poem titles in a back of the book Index with the corresponding poems in the body of the book.  Because of today’s Tower of E-Book Babel zeitgeist, with its chaotic variety of reading platforms, my expectation to index items to page numbers was about as realistic as having a uniformed-sized cup for only one coffee blend option at Starbucks!

After over an hour of this grappling, we reached another tension-filled juncture; trying to problem-solve on the phone was again proving maddening.  I had enough…and this time E did not coax, console, or challenge.  Being on the same screen, having achieved the essentials of the mission…we would live to fight another day!

In fact, E later admitted the charged nature of our working/learning encounter had him somewhat concerned:  in the future, would I want to partner, really to follow his e-design and e-marketing leads?  Believe me, this is a no-brainer!  However, it was a post-riding-the-bronco-session message that enabled me to fully appreciate the gift that E had bestowed.  His text read:  “Learning is rewarding but rewards are often an acknowledgement of hardship.  It seems we have to go through something to get something.  You were a trooper and challenged yourself to step out of your comfort zone.  I recognized that it was a bit distressing, but you endured.  I am very proud of you.”

The Power of Partnership:  Present, Past, and Future

I immediately understood why E is such a good father, for in some ways he had taken on that symbolic role with one who, under duress, had situationally regressed to a pre-adolescent, mechanically-technically challenged Baby Boomer.  His determination to not let my anger, fear, and shame throw him off course was part of his script.  This was one-hundred-and-eighty degrees in contradistinction to the dysfunctional transaction between my dad and me.  What exactly had E given me?  Let me count the ways…“The Top Ten Partnership Steps for Enduring the Crucible, Cleaning the Wound, Forging New Ground”:

1.  Trusting in E.  Though feeling vulnerable, I was able to put my head and heart into E’s confident hands as a techie, teacher, and soulful brother.  As affirmed in 12-Step work, I recognized the critical need to be vulnerable and place my trust and faith in a “higher power,” albeit the human variety.  I began to grasp the difference between feeling absolutely powerless without feeling totally helpless!

2.  Stepping off the Edge.  With a truly knowledgeable and trusted guide, I entered the digital labyrinth, despite not sure what challenges would be encountered along the unfolding, invariably unpredictable, “gotcha” path.  Or, to return to our operational metaphor, I warily got back into the horse/bike seat saddle.

3.  Fighting the Voices.  E’s calm and solid manner along with his patience was helping me to fight the voices in my head, and the emotional echoes:  my father’s short fuse frustration at things not going as expected, my feelings of inadequacy in realms mathematical, mechanical, and technological along with movement and balance activities. 

4.  Confronting the Abandonment Fear.  With my drive to get the e-book “live” on Amazon (the moment is so right) and E’s busy schedule, there was some time urgency.  However, whatever transpired, this would not be a one shot learning trial.   E was not going to abandon me and, perhaps most important, he was subtly encouraging me not to quit on myself. 

5.  Accepting My Fear and Frustration.  My agitated-aggressive reaction may have self-defeating elements in other spheres of life, but on this e-book partnership journey, it was not going to have destructive effects.  In this realm, at least, E had a mature handle on his own self-doubt and aggression.  I was not triggering him as that poignant early learning encounter had thrown my father.  

6.  Taking Steps.    With E as ballast and buffer, leaning on his poise and patience, tentative learning steps became small but meaningful mental and moral victories.  (In fact, the next time we met f-2-f, I couldn’t help smiling:  I was now more facile than E in using the Bazaar Book Reader “App command.”)

7.  Embracing the Intimate FOE.  Perhaps less in the maelstrom moment, but in the aftermath of my “trial by fire,” a realization dawned:  I may have been singed…but I was not burned or scarred.  And even the pain of childhood memories seemed less acute.  Perhaps not quite on the scale of Jacob and God but, in my own fashion I had wrestled, to at least a draw – perhaps a bit more – with my Intimate FOE:  Fear of Exposure!

8.  Cleaning Some Wounds…Launching Some Words.  The saddle/bike seat experience was helping clean out the decades-old insult and injury from the original, unsuccessful, father son trial-by-failure.  No illusions of absolute purity:  progress not perfection is the goal!  Of course, there definitely are other deep pockets of pain to engage and explore…and to “harness and ride” as creative expression!

9.  Debriefing Power.  A couple of days later, we had an “f-2-f” book strategy meeting.  In contrast to the aftermath wall of silence between father and son, for the first 90 minutes of our debriefing, E and I talked out how each emotionally perceived our encounter.  As much as I appreciate him as technical guide providing critical water and helping carry me by the arm as I painfully stumble through both that digital jungle and the alien kaleidoscopic media mindscape, it’s our ability to wax purposefully poetic and passionate, to be enthralled with each other’s substance and style of expression, no matter the subject (okay, the animation is mutual when it’s mostly non-technical) that, for me, is the greatest blessing.

10.  Building on Trial & Trust.  All of the above increases that feeling of trust in E and our mind-body-spirit simpatico.  And this essay is one way of sharing my heartfelt appreciation.  Our friendship and partnership too is akin to entering the labyrinth:  Who knows what we will endure, what wounds we will help each other cleanse and, together, what new ground we will forge.

Closing Quotation

I can’t think of a better close than the medical pioneer, Dr. Jonas Salk’s, observation on “Evolution”:  Evolution is about getting up one more time than you fall down; being courageous one more time than you are fearful; and being trusting just one more time than you are anxious.  Amen and women to that!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative.  A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.  The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info, email:  stressdoc@aol.com.

From Resiliency Rap to Resiliency Rant & Generational-Digital Divide Manifesto – Part ll

Link to “From Resiliency Rap to Resiliency Rant – Part l”

http://www-stressdoc-com.blogspot.com/2014/01/from-resiliency-rap-to-rant.html

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From Resiliency Rap to Resiliency Rant and Manifesto – Part ll

 

Hey, it’s just a multi-media/multi-tasking age

Where ADHD is all of the rage.
When instant gratification seems a delay…
BOREDOM!  ASAP:  Start texting away.

And when you can’t get online or even a signal
Oh, oh…real trouble!
They’ve cut your e-umbilical cord
Definite PANIC  time for the bored!

Today it’s “Privacy vs. Piracy”:  we’re under viral attack.
Identity theft from the neighborhood hack.
Even big Uncle Sam cannot safely “hold em”
Playing NSA Poker with one Mr. Snowden!

Of course, many leaders don’t have a clue
For an e-conference, just what do you do?
Without live eyes and bodies keeping them in line
“Little Napoleons” e-rupt in almost no time…

And with no sense of time
When presenting – on the Web or Skype phone
Give us a break; don’t just drone on and on.
Or for a Skype video; four words of warning:
Stuff that hired EGO!  I’m tired of yawning.

           Dinos and Digits can be mental midgets
           Digits and Dinos, like spoiled bambinos.

Younger folks say “inclusion,” a trophy for all

Forming an identity that’s off the Facebook Wall.

Grizzled Boomers want winners not mere pretenders

Start dividing the Alphas from those bleeding heart losers.

 

[Yet, these same so-called “losers,” head- and i-Phone abusers

Despite seeking “cloud” cover, connect with and touch others.

Often slower to prejudge diverse ideas and colors

Unlike their generational elders…

“Inclusion” may not bleed “black or white,” my sister and brother!]

 

Still… for those folks who both drive and talk

As if life is but one stroll in the park.

Or sleepwalk and text…and what do they expect?

Either I clear a path or I’m the pain in the neck.

 

Believe me; it wouldn’t take much of a dare

To shove that damn phone right up their…hot air!

Alas, I’m sounding more and more like a grouch

Maybe what’s needed is another approach.

           Dinos and Digits, both becoming misfits

           Digits and Dinos, my final warning before coming to blows:

           Do know your limits, don’t limit your “No”s!

A crusade:  “Save the Analog Whales”…Is that asking too much?
But first, lure digital hare-brains from their wired world hutch.
Pull heads out of smart phones; break FOMO ** media habits?
(Though “Get a Life” Coaching is for “Dinos,” not only “Digits.”)

Of course, don’t go cold turkey with a cyber-addiction…
Play “Past Life Regression” ® in a “calmer shooter” or “Kama Sutra” *** position.
Find a virtual guru, one who’s no techno slouch…now
Plug-and-play (if not hug-and-pay) on that 3-D “smart couch.”

Well, let me reach closure, before I “break bad”

On those always bragging about their iPad.

Consider my words, they are pretty rad:

I truly don’t mean to sound unkind…

Keep your iPad; I prefer an I-Mind!

~~~~~~~

**  FOMO:  Fear of Missing Out

*** (an ancient Indian text on sexual positions; personal preference)

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It’s a Rap:  A “Mentor-Gentor” Manifesto

for Bridging the Generational-Digital Divide

 

But wait, what if, Lord willin

With the New Gospel accordin

To one ironic Bob Dylan, “The times are a changin”

So that neither oldest nor youngest were “first” or “last.”

The future and past arise in the present; shed light on a moment

When each generation shares their best education:

Could “High Tech” shake hands with “Human Touch”?

 

If those more senior would be savvy mentors

Praising the knowledge of able young gentors

While these gentors sought out wise mentors

Stead of oft being new wheel inventors

Raising the art of dialogue and such…

 

For the greater good and gain

Despite learning curve pain

With tears falling like rain

Easing the digital drain

Calming the analogue brain…for a time

As the young become leaders

The old must be followers

Both sides learning together –

The quest for tech skills and warm touch:

To survive stormy weather

To harness “Fear of Exposure”

As we level the playing field plane

To discover who comes through in the clutch.

 

My intuitive hunch, sans crystal ball

Please heed ye the call:

“Tear down that Generational Wall”

For one and all…It would mean so much!

 

 

©  Mark Gorkin  2014

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

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Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.