"Inspiring" Refugee Health Plenary, Preserving Human Touch… Review and Selections: Stress Doc Potpourri

I have mostly been finishing up my next Amazon e-book, Fierce Longing…Fiery Loss:  Relearning to Let Go, Laugh & Love:  Through Resiliency Poetry and Shrink Rap ™.  Hopefully, it will be published sometime in August.  It’s definitely a book from the heart, initiated by pain and loss, yet on the path of healing and hope.

In between, I led a couple of speaking/workshop programs, one for a Lutheran Ministry and, just this past Thursday, a Plenary at a Refugee Summit in Richmond, Virginia.  Both programs got rave reviews.  Let me share the latest testimonials:

Statewide Refugee Mental Health Summit/Richmond, VA; Practice Safe Stress: Using Humor in the Face of Stress, Burnout, and Conflict -- Plenary Speaker; 1 hour; 75 attendees

Jul 8, 2016

MG,

Thank you so much for inspiring our participants in the 3rd Statewide Refugee Mental Health Summit with your wit and humor as well as helping set the tone for the rest of the day.  Your topic Practice Safe Stress: Using Humor in the Face of Stress, Burnout and Conflict was just the right choice.  I believe you have felt their response -- how much they enjoyed it, as well as how much they need it, so they can effectively carry out their job of helping others.  The strength of our initiative depends on these people who champion our cause for refugee mental health. I can’t thank you enough for coming to be our plenary speaker.

Sincerely,

Eva

Eva  P. Stitt, Ph.D.
Refugee Mental Health Analyst
Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Development Services
Office of Cultural and Linguistic Competence
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HI Mark,

It was a pleasure spending time with you and I really appreciated your presentation. I will discuss your presentation with our trainers.  I will keep in touch,

Deborah  C. Moore, RN, BSN, MPH
Nurse Manager II, Senior
deborah.moore@vdh.virginia.gov

Hampton-Peninsula  Health Department
3130 Victoria  Blvd., Hampton, VA, 23661
Office (757)315-3779
416 J Clyde Morris Blvd., Newport News, VA 23601
Office (757)594-7903

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Preserving Human Touch… E-book on Amazon:  Synopsis, Review, and Two Selections

Of course, I’m still promoting my new Amazon e-offering, Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World:  Writings, Raps & Rhymes on Stress Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity.  While certainly not a runaway best-seller, sales continue apace, with six five-star reviews!  Embracing the path of shameless marketing, here are two selections from PHT…:  a) a Q & A written for Workforce Magazine, Workforce Q & A:  Seven Highly Effective Habits of Trust-Expanding Organizations, and b) in light of all the recent shootings, a Resiliency Rap on a tragedy in the workplace:  “Learning from the Fatal Flaw.”

Here’s a brief synopsis and a thought-provoking review:

Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World...

Is Live on Amazon/Kindle:

Writings, Raps & Rhymes on Stress Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity – a Passionate and Playful Mix of Meaning and Magic...and Burnout Battlefield Experience!

Check out the Amazon e-book as well as the provocative cover; please consider reading/reviewing.  Nice price:  $3.99!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GIPXVH4/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb

Synopsis:  An insightful and inspiring guide for self-discovery and heart-to-heart connection, Preserving Human Touch... is the painful, playful, and soulful outpouring of a one-of-a-kind – stage and page – "word artist."  For example, Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc ™, is pioneering the field of psychologically humorous "rap music," calling it, of course, – Shrink Rap ™ Productions!  (Would you expect any less from a “Motivational Psychohumorist” ™?)  Whether poetry or prose, purposeful or poignant, the language is colorful yet clear – a tapestry of meaningful substance and magical style.  This ingenious synthesis is best captured by the “Stress Doc’s” ™ quest to be the Dr. Seuss of Stress for Adults (and kids of all ages). 

Or as a recent mystery reader of Preserving Human Touch...commented in an Amazon review:

Powerful Stuff!  The StressDoc goes poetic!! For years, Mark Gorkin has been mixing laughter, learning, and lucidity (the Three L's!) in tackling the tough issues of stress manifestations in human encounters. In this wise e-book, Mark applies his considerable poetic talents to diagnose and propose remedies for our love-hate relationship with ever more invasive technology. Ranging from on-the-job burnout to adolescent cellphone fixations, Mark's lyrics strike home at the funny bone, while using his psychological savvy to suggest ways in which we can reassert Mastery over the Machine. It's a unique twist on the self-help book, perfect for those crazy enough to be reading work emails at four o'clock in the morning.

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Workforce Q & A:  Seven Highly Effective Habits of Trust-Expanding Organizations

Q.  Dear Workforce:  How do we repair broken trust? As a facilitator of leadership training, I know trust underlies a foundation of success. But what practical fixes does this entail?

--Trust Deficit, HR training analyst, Colorado Springs, Colorado

A.  In this time of organizational restructuring, rapid operational-technological change and economic uncertainty rebuilding trust is definitely a challenging and not uncommon task.  However, all levels of management can take the lead in this rebuilding process if they follow some basic principles and key strategic steps.  Much of my thinking has been influenced by The Speed of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything, 2006, a book written by Stephen M. R. Covey, the son of the renowned organizational guru and author, Stephen Covey.  In fact, for the son, the foundation of successful leadership is achieving results in a way that inspires trust.  There’s an atmosphere of transparency and two-way communication, and employees believe their talents and efforts are contributing to the present and future success of the company.  A final leadership core practice:  leaders take more than their fair share of blame and give more than their fair share of credit.  Or, as was noted in The Speed of Trust:  when things go well look out the window; when things go wrong look in the mirror!

With the above framework, and the assumption that there has been some recent loss of trust, here are “Seven Strategic Steps for Rebuilding Organizational Trust”:

1.  Hold a Focus Group.  One of the best ways to begin a healing and trust building process is a meeting, or a series of meetings, that allow people to appropriately share their concerns or vent frustrations about people or processes that have contributed to a destabilizing or trust-eroding organizational atmosphere or culture.  Of course, you need a skilled and objective facilitator.  When employees see that management doesn’t get defensive during this exchange and acknowledges broad concerns, participates in a genuine give and take and, in timely fashion, takes meaningful problem-solving steps, trust levels begin to rise.

2.  Acknowledge “Hidden Agendas.”  When possible, “speak the unspeakable,” that is, bring up the 800 lb. gorilla in the room.  Being transparent doesn’t mean you have to put everything on the table, but certainly share appropriate information about problematic issues or about what is and is not in your immediate control, along with what information you do and don’t have.  (These last two issues are particularly salient when there are rumors about a possible restructuring or downsizing.)

3.  Talk Straight and Ask Good Questions.  Try to get to the point without too much digression or over-explanation as this diminishes your credibility with an audience.  When possible do some preparation; precision of language commands attention.  If this is an issue, what keeps you from talking straight – fear of consequences or being wrong, fear of hurting others, wanting to be liked, a duplicitous environment, etc.?  Conversely, ask good questions.  The essence of a good question: a) humility:  “I don’t have all the answers” and b) openness:  “I really would like to hear and learn from your point of view.”  Remember, when a person is communicating with high emotion, he or she likely still feels misunderstood.

4.  Don’t Bad Mouth Others Behind Their Back, Especially Folks No Longer in the Company.  All “behind the back” talk does is fuel employee mistrust:  “What do (or will) people say about me when I’m not around (or when I retire)?”  And if people are talking negatively about a current employee, encourage people to talk directly with the person; offer to mediate (or to find a mediator) when appropriate.

5.  Don’t Overpromise and Under Deliver; Keep Your Commitments.  As I like to say, beware of being motivated by egoals, that is, when your goals are driven less by the needs, demands, resources and challenges of a situation and more by ego and false pride.  Remember, as Covey notes, when you make a commitment you build hope; when you keep a commitment you build trust!

6.  Create a Learning-Trust Building Culture.  In addition to acknowledging a personal mistake in a timely manner, when possible view errors as less a sign of incompetence and more an indicator of inexperience or some immaturity, maybe even boldness.

7.  Extend Trust.  Design rules and procedures for the overwhelming majority of people you can trust.  Grant trust abundantly to those who’ve earned it; extend conditionally to those earning it, while examining the situation, the risk potential and the credibility – for Covey, the competence and character – of those involved for more opportunities to extend trust.

Hopefully, these principles and strategic practices will rejuvenate a climate of trust in your shop and will help one and all…Practice Safe Stress!

(c)  Mark Gorkin  2010
Shrink Rap ™ Productions

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Learning from the Fatal Flaw

In light of another school (or workplace) shooting…

As a Critical Incident Consultant, I’m poignantly aware how unexpected dramas and tragedies lurk behind every corner and crevice of our hearts and minds…and also lie in the shadows of our homes, schools, and places of work.  Out of the quiet, out of The Death of a Salesman closet, Arthur Miller screams:  Attention must be paid!  And sometimes we must risk trusting our gut, risk “overreacting” and being mislabeled, and say something to the right someone…or be the right someone!

Learning from the Fatal Flaw

Did she really take her life over a phone?

Taken from a colleague…now all’s undone!

One woman dead, one torn apart

Guilt spears a throbbing heart

Regret for filing that stolen report

Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?

Can one grasp obscure knowledge

On the all too human fatal edge?

To get on the same page, one must leave a stage

Masked by “got it together” pain and rage.

Even with the latest gauge, who knows faux-taupe from beige?

Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?

Yet a friend sensed her look, a fearful absent look.

Still her head stayed by the book…

Why didn’t she speak up?

Neither one trusted their gut

“Don’t be a pain in the butt!”

So we doubt?  So we doubt?  So we doubt?

Do we pass in the hall and nod

In a hazy-distant fog

And mouth, “How you doing?”…

But only reminiscing; more simply whistling

Who has time for real listening?

Do your thing?  Do your thing?  Do your thing?

Now so sad; maybe wiser:  are we respecting one another?

Whatever happened to “sister” and “brother”?

Wide-eyed to foreign experience

Energized by expressive variance

Growing through world view deviance.

Will you dance?  Will you dance?  Will you dance?

Is it too risky to share

Without some faith in the air?

Of course, you can’t flip a switch, still

Pull one from a ditch; let another bitch…

The sky’s not falling – more a glitch.

For a culture to be rich, offer a broad-shouldered niche.

Hey, it’s “get real” or be a bust:

Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!

© Mark Gorkin  2014

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

-----------------

Purpose of the Poem, Power to the Poet

The poem traces the psychological steps and missteps of a workplace tragedy.  When reporting a colleague – a colleague struggling with well-disguised personal issues – has fatal consequences, there are searing emotional repercussions:  guilt, second-guessing, the questioning of motives, etc.  Even superficial civility comes under scrutiny.  Can “sadder yet wiser” translate into “sister and brother”?  Finally, some ideas for grappling with the refrains of “Who is at fault?,” “Who is a sage?,” “So we doubt,” “Do your thing,” and “Will you dance?”  Most important are closing strategies with “trust”-building potential.

-----------------

Discussion Questions

1.  Have you ever taken an action with which you’ve had regret?  Have you faced your emotions and/or the other person(s)?  What did you learn from the experience?

2.  Have you ever sensed someone being in pain or trouble and not spoken up?  What contributed to your silence?

3.  In a submarine study on problem-solving, it was found that the most diverse groups invariably came up with most creative problem-solving solutions.  Why might this be the case?

4.  How would you create a more trusting climate in a classroom or with a team?

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative.  A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.  The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info, email:  stressdoc@aol.com.

When Fifteen Times Four Equals One Hundred and Four: A Politico-Mathematical Riddle

Like so many, I had a paradoxical mix of reactions to the Orlando mass killing:  1) first I was startled and sickened, and 2) I quickly sealed over; just another day, week, or month in the US of A.  But as my anger smoldered, I read something that revealed a common thread.  Then my brain came up with an ironic twist, ala Tom Lehrer, ‘60s Harvard physicist, piano-playing political-satirical lyricist.  Initially, the mathematical riddle may prove somewhat confusing…but, please, bear with my little irony.  To say any more would spoil the game!

On the other hand…more than ever we seem to need, Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World: Writings, Raps, & Rhymes on Stress Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity.  My e-book on Amazon is generating some strong reviews.  Please check it out:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GIPXVH4/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb

Synopsis:  An insightful and inspiring guide for self-discovery and heart-to-heart connection, Preserving Human Touch... is the painful, playful, and soulful outpouring of a one-of-a-kind – stage and page – "word artist."  Whether poetry or prose, purposeful or poignant, the language is colorful yet clear – a tapestry of meaningful substance and magical style.  This ingenious synthesis is best captured by the “Stress Doc’s” ™ quest to be the Dr. Seuss of Stress for Adults (and kids of all ages).

~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Fifteen Times Four Equals One Hundred and Four:

A Politico-Mathematical Riddle

Warning:  This verse may be hazardous to the ironically-impaired!

It’s time for a lesson

Today’s times table session:

When does 15 x 4

Equal one hundred and four?

Do I have your attention?

It’s a life and death question.

AR(e) you ready to play havoc with me?

Here’s a clue:  go waste the “e parentheses.”

Okay, to solve this critical problem

Sing the fiery national anthem

Shout that “Red BULL” slogan:  Go ahead…Make My Day!

Of course, bow down to the new guard – the NRA. 

Now, putting two letters in front of 15

Makes you more than Clint “lean-and-MEAN.”

I gave you a hint, a few lines above:

Enough of this hippie ‘60s peace and love!

Perhaps I’ve been too clever by half

Ready to give this game-poem the shaft?

But wait…just kill the (e), grab that AR

Now you can do damage from near and afar.

AR is tactical

Who needs an ARmory

AR is radical

You are your own ARmy.

AR is surgical

Can rip open an ARtery.

AR is mystical

Crazed crusader ARtistry.

For AR alone seems but a trifle

But AR-15…makes an ASSAULT RIFLE!

AR + XM ** and all types in between

You too can be a mass murder machine.

Now I said 4 but who’s keeping score?

In fact…46 mass shootings since 2004. ***

While religious terror is in the design

But so too VTech and, of course, Columbine.

But from our four…oh what liberal furor

Starting with Newtown and then Aurora.

A workplace party in San Bernadino

A gay nightclub in Disney’s Orlando.

(Oh yes, that black church in Carolina.)

The Second Amend is starting to trend

We all have a right to buy a “best friend?” ****

With a cool option for the street hunting scene

A high capacity killer magazine!

15 x 4 may not equal sixty

When 15 x 4 totals all those dead bodies.

So when is the next rapture of wrath?

15 x 4…Just do the math!

AR is tactical

Who needs an ARmory

AR is radical

You are your own ARmy.

AR is surgical

Can rip open an ARtery.

AR is mystical

Crazed crusader ARtistry.

**  XM – BushmsterXM15 was the automatic weapon used in the Aurora, CO killings

***  2004 – According to June 16, 2016, “Make It Stop:  Boston Globe tweets every mass shooting victim since 2004” (when the assault weapons ban expired), there have been 47 mass shootings and 411 people killed; another news source cited 46 shootings

****  “best friend” – AR-15 has been called “the mass murderer’s best friend”

©  Mark Gorkin  2016

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative.  A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.  The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info, email:  stressdoc@aol.com.

The Vortex of Violence: The Columbia Mall Shooting and Beyond

To paraphrase "Ol Blue Eyes," If it can happen here...it can happen anywhere!

The Columbia Mall shooting has a personal cast for me.  Not only do I live three miles from the complex, but during the football season I was there most every Sunday pulling for the Baltimore Ravens.  (On a lighter note, often invaluable during serious times, last weekend, while the Ravens weren’t playing in the conference championship games, the sports bar’s turkey sandwich with very crisp bacon, slices of avocado, lettuce, and tomato, add some ketchup, on dark rye with potato chips was also a draw.)  Alas, many people were and will continue to be impacted by this tragedy beyond the obvious victims:  first and foremost, those who saw the shootings, next those who heard the exploding sound, as well as folks scrambling for cover or those anxiously barricaded in back rooms, then employees in the Mall, shoppers who were there, future patrons who will glance nervously over their shoulders, etc.

While my observations are second-hand, a recent Critical Incident Stress Debriefing with bank tellers after a robbery by a man, possibly possessing a gun, has increased my understanding.  (One of the most surprising factors gleaned – all the tellers had experienced previous bank robberies in different banks or branches; for one woman, this was her fourth incident.  Over time, working for a bank without high security conditions, you may face Las Vegas odds for a traumatic experience.)  And if you are already dealing with disruptive life stressors or are carrying unresolved emotions from previous losses and traumas, and you’re caught in the vortex of such a violent episode, look out for psychological smoke signals.  Know that chronic anxiety, disturbed sleep, moodiness, misusing substances for numbing purposes, or even panic attacks may for a period of time follow you around.

With all this in mind, here is a previous “Stress Doc” ™ essay outlining how an organization or company might positively and pro-actively help people impacted by critical trauma.  Be safe.

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Maximizing the Healing and Growth Potential of Critical/Grief Intervention: Benefits of Structured and Spontaneous Workplace Grief Consultation

 

After a “loss of life” critical incident – for example, whether a valued employee “dies unexpectedly in his sleep,” is “murdered outside of work,” “succumbs quickly to a diagnosed or undiagnosed disease,” is “killed in a horrific motor vehicle accident while driving to work,” or “takes his own life,” how the company or organization structures and manages the grief debriefing process is critical.  It is vital to have a grief counselor/critical incident specialist:  a) address employees as a whole, b) when operationally feasible and appropriate, allow the grief specialist both to formally meet with employees in a private setting and also to walk around and tactfully converse with personnel, and c) engage especially with teams or departments most closely connected with the deceased colleague.

 

Expecting individual employees to find their way to a room in which the critical incident-debriefing counselor is sequestered limits the personal healing as well as the professional learning, problem-detection, prevention, and growth potential.  Remember, by definition, a critical incident, especially when involving the loss of life, is a “strike when the psyche (and culture) is hot” grief tragedy.  That is, many people are emotionally upset or in turmoil; just about all are open to words that facilitate understanding, soothing, or healing.   And a well-timed, knowledgeable, and compassionate connection has the ability both to help relieve some of the immediate pain and even to safely touch employees with preexisting wounds related to loss, threat, and trauma.  A healthful or hazardous work setting just may be in the balance.

 

Psychologically-interpersonally wounded employees enter the workplace every day, impacting productivity, relations, morale, and overall environmental ambiance.  There are major personal, team, and organizational benefits and opportunities for a company that facilitates a more open, “all hands-heads-hearts” and a “friendly grief counselor walking the halls and floors” intervention approach.  Consider these “Key Workplace Grief Intervention Benefits”:

 

1) Walk the Talk, Don’t Fuel It – the organization “walks its talk” about having compassion for their employees; a company acknowledges that certain critical events take precedence over “business as usual”; not responding appropriately, for example,  may open top management to speculative criticism about their actions while the employee was still alive,

 

2) Facilitates Expression and Acceptance – it facilitates if not the full the expression of pain at least an acceptance of grief emotions and the asking of questions about the deceased, his or her family, ways of memorializing the deceased, or supporting the family; in general, structured openness illuminates and validates the grief process,

 

3) Opportunity for Education and Evaluation – allowing a grief counselor to address large and small groups of people not only is an opportunity to provide grief (and perhaps mental health/illness) education, it also enables employees to check out the grief counselor; that is, is this an individual I might feel comfortable talking with individually, someone I might be willing to risk sharing my own vulnerability?; improving supervisory awareness of normative grief symptoms in contrast with signs of depression and/or disrupted work performance is a valuable diagnostic tool for identifying employees in need of additional psychological support and/or referral,

 

4) Identifies “Grief Ghost” Carriers – invariably, a significant percentage of employees are walking around with work-family-personal stress that drains energy and attention and/or are harboring “grief ghosts” (intense and/or unstable emotions and memories connected to past losses or traumas) that affect both productivity and the quality of work relations.  When compounded by a tragic event or some kind of crisis, people already in an emotionally sensitive, uncertain, or vulnerable place are in need of and especially ripe for a “reach out and touch someone” message,

 

5) Potential to Reduce Hazardous Environments – in an age of workplace harassment and bullying, grief intervention has the potential for early detection of troubled individuals and/or disruptive work relations; when workplace (and community) violence routinely make headlines, prevention is your most important intervention process!,

 

6) Receptivity for Support and Problem-Solving – people touched by mourning are often ready for momentary venting and a reassuring shoulder as well as being receptive to new problem-solving resources; e.g., after a brief one-on-one with a grief counselor, people are frequently more open to a “building stress resiliency” suggestion or life-health style change; they may seriously consider a recommendation to call an “in-house,” company sponsored Employee Assistance Program (EAP) for short-term counseling,

 

7) Affirms a “Work Family” and Allows for Venting – in light of the close professional and often personal nature of work relations, a grief session for members of the deceased’s team or department is especially vital and valuable; such a session affirms a sense of “work family” or a close-knit caring community, as individuals share personal associations or connections to the tragic loss; it helps members discover they are not alone with their jumble of emotions; people may vent their confusion or even anger at the deceased, at God, at the company, etc., and group discussion may help clear up any misunderstandings or circulating rumors, and finally,

 

8) Recognize and Integrate the Deceased’s Strengths – with proper facilitation, a team session may encourage individuals to recognize the qualities in the deceased they particularly admired and transform this sharing into two processes that enable the spirit of the deceased to symbolically, psychically, and productively walk the workplace halls and floors:

a. Individual Identification/Integration – for example, if a team member says he admired the deceased’s ability to give people undivided attention in conversation, this individual can be encouraged to practice and apply more undivided and empathic listening and questioning skills; and by doing so, the deceased’s spirit more strongly lives within the individual, and

 

b. Collective Identification/Integration – if an entire team or department selects a variety of admired qualities to emulate and assimilate, then a “fallen soldier’s” spirit truly burns not just within an individual psyche but also in the mental maps and heartbeats as well as the soulful rhythms and courageous communications of the collective consciousness.

 

 

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Learning from the Fatal Flaw

In light of another school shooting…

As a Critical Incident Consultant, I’m poignantly aware how unexpected dramas and tragedies lurk behind every corner and crevice of our hearts and minds…and also lie in the shadows of our homes, schools, and places of work.  Out of the quiet, out of The Death of a Salesman closet, Arthur Miller screams:  Attention must be paid!  And sometimes we must risk trusting our gut, risk "overreacting" and being mislabeled, and say something to the right someone...or be the right someone!

Learning from the Fatal Flaw

Did she really take her life over a phone?
Taken from a colleague…now all’s undone!
One woman dead, one torn apart
Guilt spears a throbbing heart
Regret for filing that stolen report
Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?

Can one grasp obscure knowledge
On the all too human fatal edge?
To get on the same page, one must leave a stage
Masked by “got it together” pain and rage.
Even with the latest gauge, who knows faux-taupe from beige?
Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?

Yet a friend sensed her look, a fearful absent look.
Still her head stayed by the book...
Why didn’t she speak up?
Neither one trusted their gut
"Don’t be a pain in the butt!”
So we doubt?  So we doubt?  So we doubt?

Do we pass in the hall and nod

In a hazy-distant fog

And mouth, “How you doing?”…

But only reminiscing; more simply whistling

Who has time for real listening?

Do your thing?  Do your thing?  Do your thing?

 

Now so sad; maybe wiser: are we respecting one another?

Whatever happened to “sister” and “brother”?

Wide-eyed to foreign experience

Energized by expressive variance

Growing through world view contrariance.

Will you dance?  Will you dance?  Will you dance?

 

Is it too risky to share

Without some faith in the air?

Of course, you can’t flip a switch, still

Pull one from a ditch; let another bitch…

The sky’s not falling – more like a glitch.

For a culture to be rich, offer a broad-shouldered niche.

Hey, it’s "get real" or be a bust:

Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!

 

 

© Mark Gorkin  2014

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.