I
have mostly been finishing up my next Amazon e-book, Fierce Longing…Fiery Loss:
Relearning to Let Go, Laugh & Love:
Through Resiliency Poetry and Shrink Rap ™. Hopefully, it will be published sometime in
August. It’s definitely a book from the
heart, initiated by pain and loss, yet on the path of healing and hope.
In
between, I led a couple of speaking/workshop programs, one for a Lutheran
Ministry and, just this past Thursday, a Plenary at a Refugee Summit in
Richmond, Virginia. Both programs got
rave reviews. Let me share the latest
testimonials:
Statewide Refugee Mental Health Summit/Richmond, VA; Practice Safe
Stress: Using Humor in the Face of Stress, Burnout, and Conflict -- Plenary
Speaker; 1 hour; 75 attendees
Jul 8, 2016
MG,
Thank you so much for inspiring our participants in the 3rd Statewide Refugee Mental Health Summit with your wit and humor as well as helping set the tone for the rest of the day. Your topic Practice Safe Stress: Using Humor in the Face of Stress, Burnout and Conflict was just the right choice. I believe you have felt their response -- how much they enjoyed it, as well as how much they need it, so they can effectively carry out their job of helping others. The strength of our initiative depends on these people who champion our cause for refugee mental health. I can’t thank you enough for coming to be our plenary speaker.
Sincerely,
Eva
Eva P. Stitt, Ph.D.
Refugee Mental Health Analyst
Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Development Services
Office of Cultural and Linguistic Competence
-----------------
HI Mark,
It was a pleasure spending time with you and I really appreciated your presentation. I will discuss your presentation with our trainers. I will keep in touch,
Deborah C. Moore, RN, BSN, MPH
Nurse Manager II, Senior
deborah.moore@vdh.virginia.gov
Hampton-Peninsula Health Department
3130 Victoria Blvd., Hampton, VA, 23661
Office (757)315-3779
416 J Clyde Morris Blvd., Newport News, VA 23601
Office (757)594-7903
Jul 8, 2016
MG,
Thank you so much for inspiring our participants in the 3rd Statewide Refugee Mental Health Summit with your wit and humor as well as helping set the tone for the rest of the day. Your topic Practice Safe Stress: Using Humor in the Face of Stress, Burnout and Conflict was just the right choice. I believe you have felt their response -- how much they enjoyed it, as well as how much they need it, so they can effectively carry out their job of helping others. The strength of our initiative depends on these people who champion our cause for refugee mental health. I can’t thank you enough for coming to be our plenary speaker.
Sincerely,
Eva
Eva P. Stitt, Ph.D.
Refugee Mental Health Analyst
Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Development Services
Office of Cultural and Linguistic Competence
-----------------
HI Mark,
It was a pleasure spending time with you and I really appreciated your presentation. I will discuss your presentation with our trainers. I will keep in touch,
Deborah C. Moore, RN, BSN, MPH
Nurse Manager II, Senior
deborah.moore@vdh.virginia.gov
Hampton-Peninsula Health Department
3130 Victoria Blvd., Hampton, VA, 23661
Office (757)315-3779
416 J Clyde Morris Blvd., Newport News, VA 23601
Office (757)594-7903
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Preserving
Human Touch… E-book on Amazon: Synopsis, Review, and Two Selections
Of
course, I’m still promoting my new Amazon e-offering, Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World: Writings, Raps & Rhymes on Stress
Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity. While certainly not a runaway best-seller,
sales continue apace, with six five-star reviews! Embracing the path of shameless marketing,
here are two selections from PHT…: a) a Q & A written for Workforce Magazine, Workforce Q &
A: Seven Highly Effective Habits of
Trust-Expanding Organizations, and b) in light of all the recent shootings,
a Resiliency Rap on a tragedy in the workplace:
“Learning from the Fatal Flaw.”
Here’s
a brief synopsis and a thought-provoking review:
Preserving
Human Touch in a High Tech World...
Is
Live on Amazon/Kindle:
Writings,
Raps & Rhymes on Stress Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity –
a Passionate and Playful Mix of Meaning and
Magic...and Burnout Battlefield Experience!
Check
out the Amazon e-book as well as the provocative cover; please
consider reading/reviewing. Nice price: $3.99!
Synopsis: An insightful and inspiring guide for self-discovery and
heart-to-heart connection, Preserving Human Touch... is the
painful, playful, and soulful outpouring of a one-of-a-kind – stage and
page – "word artist." For example, Mark Gorkin, LICSW,
the Stress Doc ™, is pioneering the field of psychologically humorous "rap
music," calling it, of course, – Shrink Rap ™ Productions! (Would you expect any less from a
“Motivational Psychohumorist” ™?)
Whether poetry or prose, purposeful or poignant, the language is
colorful yet clear – a tapestry of meaningful substance and magical
style. This ingenious synthesis is best captured by the “Stress
Doc’s” ™ quest to be the Dr. Seuss of Stress for Adults (and
kids of all ages).
Or as a recent mystery reader of Preserving Human
Touch...commented in an Amazon review:
Powerful Stuff! The StressDoc goes poetic!! For years, Mark Gorkin has been mixing laughter, learning, and lucidity
(the Three L's!) in tackling the tough issues of stress manifestations in human
encounters. In this wise e-book, Mark applies his considerable poetic talents
to diagnose and propose remedies for our love-hate relationship with ever more
invasive technology. Ranging from on-the-job burnout to adolescent cellphone
fixations, Mark's lyrics strike home at the funny bone, while using his
psychological savvy to suggest ways in which we can reassert Mastery over the
Machine. It's a unique twist on the self-help book, perfect for those crazy
enough to be reading work emails at four o'clock in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Workforce Q & A: Seven
Highly Effective Habits of Trust-Expanding Organizations
Q. Dear
Workforce: How do we repair broken
trust? As a facilitator of leadership training, I know trust underlies
a foundation of success. But what practical fixes does this entail?
--Trust Deficit, HR training analyst, Colorado Springs,
Colorado
A. In this time of organizational restructuring,
rapid operational-technological change and economic uncertainty rebuilding
trust is definitely a challenging and not uncommon task. However, all levels of management can take
the lead in this rebuilding process if they follow some basic principles and
key strategic steps. Much of my thinking
has been influenced by The Speed of
Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything, 2006, a book written by
Stephen M. R. Covey, the son of the renowned organizational guru and author,
Stephen Covey. In fact, for the son, the
foundation of successful leadership is achieving results in a way that inspires
trust. There’s an atmosphere of
transparency and two-way communication, and employees believe their talents and
efforts are contributing to the present and future success of the company. A final leadership core practice: leaders take more than their fair share of
blame and give more than their fair share of credit. Or, as was noted in The Speed of Trust: when things go well look out the window; when
things go wrong look in the mirror!
With
the above framework, and the assumption that there has been some recent loss of
trust, here are “Seven Strategic Steps
for Rebuilding Organizational Trust”:
1. Hold a Focus Group. One of the best ways to begin a healing and
trust building process is a meeting, or a series of meetings, that allow people
to appropriately share their concerns or vent frustrations about people or
processes that have contributed to a destabilizing or trust-eroding
organizational atmosphere or culture. Of
course, you need a skilled and objective facilitator. When employees see that management doesn’t
get defensive during this exchange and acknowledges broad concerns,
participates in a genuine give and take and, in timely fashion, takes
meaningful problem-solving steps, trust levels begin to rise.
2. Acknowledge “Hidden Agendas.” When possible, “speak the unspeakable,” that
is, bring up the 800 lb. gorilla in the room.
Being transparent doesn’t mean you have to put everything on the table,
but certainly share appropriate information about problematic issues or about
what is and is not in your immediate control, along with what information you
do and don’t have. (These last two issues
are particularly salient when there are rumors about a possible restructuring
or downsizing.)
3. Talk Straight and Ask Good Questions. Try to get to the point without too much
digression or over-explanation as this diminishes your credibility with an
audience. When possible do some
preparation; precision of language commands attention. If this is an issue, what keeps you from
talking straight – fear of consequences or being wrong, fear of hurting others,
wanting to be liked, a duplicitous environment, etc.? Conversely, ask good questions. The essence of a good question: a)
humility: “I don’t have all the answers”
and b) openness: “I really would like to
hear and learn from your point of view.”
Remember, when a person is communicating with high emotion, he or she
likely still feels misunderstood.
4. Don’t Bad Mouth Others Behind Their Back,
Especially Folks No Longer in the Company. All “behind the back” talk does is fuel
employee mistrust: “What do (or will)
people say about me when I’m not around (or when I retire)?” And if people are talking negatively about a
current employee, encourage people to talk directly with the person; offer to
mediate (or to find a mediator) when appropriate.
5. Don’t Overpromise and Under Deliver; Keep
Your Commitments. As I like to say,
beware of being motivated by egoals, that is, when your goals are driven
less by the needs, demands, resources and challenges of a situation and more by
ego and false pride. Remember, as Covey
notes, when you make a commitment you
build hope; when you keep a commitment you build trust!
6. Create a Learning-Trust Building
Culture. In addition to
acknowledging a personal mistake in a timely manner, when possible view errors
as less a sign of incompetence and more an indicator of inexperience or some
immaturity, maybe even boldness.
7. Extend Trust. Design rules and procedures for the
overwhelming majority of people you can trust.
Grant trust abundantly to those who’ve earned it; extend conditionally
to those earning it, while examining the situation, the risk potential and the
credibility – for Covey, the competence and character – of those involved for
more opportunities to extend trust.
Hopefully,
these principles and strategic practices will rejuvenate a climate of trust in
your shop and will help one and all…Practice
Safe Stress!
(c) Mark Gorkin 2010
Shrink Rap ™ Productions
Shrink Rap ™ Productions
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Learning from the Fatal Flaw
In
light of another school (or workplace) shooting…
As
a Critical Incident Consultant, I’m poignantly aware how unexpected dramas and
tragedies lurk behind every corner and crevice of our hearts and minds…and also
lie in the shadows of our homes, schools, and places of work. Out of the quiet, out of The Death of a Salesman closet, Arthur Miller screams: Attention
must be paid! And sometimes we must
risk trusting our gut, risk “overreacting” and being mislabeled, and say
something to the right someone…or be the right someone!
Learning from the Fatal
Flaw
Did
she really take her life over a phone?
Taken
from a colleague…now all’s undone!
One
woman dead, one torn apart
Guilt
spears a throbbing heart
Regret
for filing that stolen report
Who
is at fault? Who is at fault? Who is at fault?
Can
one grasp obscure knowledge
On
the all too human fatal edge?
To
get on the same page, one must leave a stage
Masked
by “got it together” pain and rage.
Even
with the latest gauge, who knows faux-taupe from beige?
Who
is a sage? Who is a sage? Who is a sage?
Yet
a friend sensed her look, a fearful absent look.
Still
her head stayed by the book…
Why
didn’t she speak up?
Neither
one trusted their gut
“Don’t be a pain in the
butt!”
So
we doubt? So we doubt? So we doubt?
Do
we pass in the hall and nod
In
a hazy-distant fog
And
mouth, “How you doing?”…
But
only reminiscing; more simply whistling
Who
has time for real listening?
Do
your thing? Do your thing? Do your thing?
Now
so sad; maybe wiser: are we respecting
one another?
Whatever
happened to “sister” and “brother”?
Wide-eyed
to foreign experience
Energized
by expressive variance
Growing
through world view deviance.
Will
you dance? Will you dance? Will you dance?
Is
it too risky to share
Without
some faith in the air?
Of
course, you can’t flip a switch, still
Pull
one from a ditch; let another bitch…
The
sky’s not falling – more a glitch.
For
a culture to be rich, offer a broad-shouldered niche.
Hey,
it’s “get real” or be a bust:
Now they might
trust! Now they might trust! Now they might trust!
© Mark Gorkin 2014
Shrink Rap ™
Productions
-----------------
Purpose of the Poem, Power to the Poet
The poem traces the psychological steps
and missteps of a workplace tragedy.
When reporting a colleague – a colleague struggling with well-disguised
personal issues – has fatal consequences, there are searing emotional
repercussions: guilt, second-guessing,
the questioning of motives, etc. Even
superficial civility comes under scrutiny.
Can “sadder yet wiser” translate into “sister and brother”? Finally, some ideas for grappling with the
refrains of “Who is at fault?,” “Who is a sage?,” “So we doubt,” “Do your
thing,” and “Will you dance?” Most
important are closing strategies with “trust”-building potential.
-----------------
Discussion Questions
1.
Have you ever taken an action with which you’ve had regret? Have you faced your emotions and/or the other
person(s)? What did you learn from the
experience?
2. Have you ever sensed
someone being in pain or trouble and not spoken up? What contributed to your silence?
3. In a submarine study on
problem-solving, it was found that the most diverse groups invariably came up
with most creative problem-solving solutions.
Why might this be the case?
4.
How would you create a more trusting climate in a classroom or with a
team?
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW,
"The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer,
and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience
and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health
& Wellness Initiative. A former Stress and Violence Prevention
Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress
Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army. The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World. Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online
"HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a
"workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info, email: stressdoc@aol.com.
