“Top Ten” Stress Resilience Tools & Techniques for Surviving Trauma, Transition, and Everyday Stress

I have been a co-founding partner of the Be Well Initiative for the Nepali Diaspora in America.  The tragic April 25, 2015 earthquake ignited a vision for a friend and colleague, Dr. DK Gurung.  (DK called me a day after, both for some venting and to share his communal dream.)  Born in Nepal, he understood that mental health services were needed in the face of such a natural disaster, but not just for people living in Nepal.  The stress was also great for family and friends 10,000 miles from ground zero.  But beyond the immediate disaster, cultural norms, honor and shame, and indirect or secretive communication patterns made it difficult for Nepalis to fully acknowledge let alone discuss emotional issues of stress, anxiety and depression.  The US Nepali community had to come out of the trauma, immigrant transition, and pressure of “Pursuing the American Dream” as well as everyday stress, closets.

This past year, Be Well Initiative has put into motion “Stress Survey” data collection, mind-body wellness and mental health educational reach out, along with running focus groups at various community events, centers, and programs.  We will close out the year with a memorial EQ15 service on April 24^th in Herndon, VA.  (Email stressdoc@aol.com if you’d like more information.)  As part of the interactive/community participation service, attendees will engage in small group discussion about past and present stressors and coping strategies.  Participants will also provide ideas for developing future mental health resources and services.  It should be a very moving, meaningful, and uniquely affirming experience.

“Top Ten” Stress Resilience Tools & Techniques

for Surviving Trauma, Transition, and Everyday Stress

This past year we have witnessed how imbalances and stressors in nature may suddenly erupt producing devastating consequences.  While not as cataclysmic, work-family-life imbalances and pressures may manifest in confusing, overwhelming and destructive, even life-threatening, emotions and behaviors.  As one Nepali community leader articulated:  “We too will erupt if our life gets out of balance, if we deplete ourselves, run ourselves to the ground, stretch ourselves thin, and live for all the wrong reasons.  We will either collapse into ourselves or explode onto others.”

We need a powerful stress tool kit to manage such stressors as: a) being emotionally connected to two homelands, b) separated from significant others as well as from geographical and cultural markers, c) everyday pressures pursuing the American Dream, including adapting to new cultural values, d) the challenges of finding meaningful employment, and especially, e) being an individual new to the US, feeling like “a stranger in a strange land.”

Perhaps most critical, as a community we need to affirm that reaching out for mental and emotional health services (the mind-heart) is as natural and normal as seeking help for physical illness (the body).  We must help our under-served community come out of the shadows of shame, stigma, and silence and discover a new horizon of hope!

Here is Be Well Initiative and the Stress Doc’s ™ “Top Ten” Stress Resilience Tools and Techniques for Surviving Crises and Everyday Stress:

1.  Find a “Stress Buddy.”  When it comes to stress, we initially may need to share our feelings outside of our immediate family, perhaps with a trusted friend or community leader.  Having another help put the situation in a more reasonable or calm perspective, may reduce feelings of guilt and self-blame and make it easier to later discuss the situation with family members.  If still relatively new in the US, it’s vital to have a “Stress Buddy” who understands the “trials and pressures” of immigrant stress.

2.  Speak to a Professional.  If you are feeling intense levels of stress, anger, and/or depression, with disrupted patterns of eating and sleeping, misusing alcohol and drugs or simply wanting to withdraw from life, it is time to speak with a person trained in providing mental health counseling.  There are Crisis Hot Lines for you to call.  If you are not sure where to go, contact one of the counseling/clinical members of the Be Well Initiative Team:

Bharati Devkota,  Nepali Speaking, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) – telephone # 443-742-2575

Anshu Basnyat, Nepali Speaking, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) – telephone #  443-574-3430; call for an appointment

Mark Gorkin, the Stress Doc, Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) – telephone # 301-875-2567

3.  Join a Support Group.  Share your pain, purpose, and passion with a group of like-minded community members and a qualified facilitator; talking with one another, we lean on, learn from, and then provide an ear or a shoulder to our brothers and sisters.  Consider starting a Nepali/community support group.  BWI will be glad to assist.  Also, there are a variety of free, 12-Step Groups – from dealing with problem drinking (or being a family member of a problem drinker) to handling difficult emotions – located in schools, churches, community centers, etc., throughout the Greater DC-VA-MD area.

4.  Understand Change, Loss, and the Need to Grieve.  Whether it’s a devastating earthquake trauma or just a more quiet realization of missing loved ones, alive or deceased, no longer close by, or longing for our former life…we need to take time to remember.  The challenge of change is omnipresent for people adapting to a new land and way of life, or just going through transition.  Grief stages – shock, sadness, anger, fear, confusion, disbelief – are not just products of death and dying; grief can be stirred by the loss of a job, the loss of health and mobility, or the loss of a dream.  Grieving may help you make peace with both your past and present…and open paths for a more productive future.  Of course, there is not one way to grieve; each person has his or her own grief rhythm and time frame.  However, if after 2-4 weeks you are not back into your routine, find a trustworthy and understanding stress buddy or, even better, consider consulting with a professional counselor.

5.  Make Sleeping/Rejuvenating and Healthy Eating a Top Priority.  When it comes to sleep, we often provide solid guidance with our kids, but don’t follow our own advice.  Try to apply those sleep routine principles that you’ve designed for your children:  turn off the gadgets, take a shower or listen to soothing sounds of nature, or do quiet reading in bed.  And, limit alcohol and caffeine several hours before bedtime.  Meditation or taking a ten-fifteen minute “power nap” can be an effective way to rejuvenate during the day.

As for food and fuel intake, beware of picking up some of the sloppy eating habits of too many Americans.  Reduce your intake of salts, sugars, and saturated fats – those cans of soda and bags of chips.  Eat more fruits, especially the berries, and green and leafy vegetables; whole grains, beans and legumes and, if not going vegan, Omega-3 fish – salmon and sardines, are heart-healthy choices.  Listen to your grandmother!

6.  Get Regular Exercise.  Do you get thirty minutes of brisk exercise three-five times a week?  Regular exercise provides both physical and psychological advantages.  Thirty minutes (or even two fifteen minute segments) of vigorous, non-stop, large muscle movement activity – brisk walking, swimming, bike riding, dancing, etc. – releases brain chemicals such as endorphins and dopamine which are the mind-body's natural mood enhancers and pain relievers.  It's less a runner's high and more that we can step back and see things with a calmer disposition and fresher perspective. 

When stressed, everything feel’s up in the air.  The answer: to feel grounded.  There is nothing like a brisk thirty minute walk for creating a beginning and end point for a tangible sense of accomplishment and control.  Actually, you’re developing a “success ritual.”  And while I don’t always love to exercise, after my ten-minute “while still in bed” morning routine of stretching, sit-ups, push-ups, yoga positions, etc. and my early evening walk…well, I do like feeling virtuous.  And if you’re having difficulty getting started…find a walking partner.

7.  Learn to Say Set Limits.  During my workshops, more people have said to me, “Mark until I learned how to say ‘No’…I was living on the edge of stress!”  Remember, being a mature adult means that sometimes you will have to disappoint people.  For friends and family, for example, let them clearly know what you cannot do (at this moment in time) but also perhaps what you can do.  Give people the option to call you back in two days when your schedule might not be so busy. Naturally, expect that your initial “No” might prove upsetting.  But don’t overly explain your position; excess talking undermines your own sense of control and authority.  People see you as wishy-washy.  Briefly remind people of your stated position.

On the other hand, when relating with an impatient or “the sky is falling down” authority figure, e.g., the big boss at work, the key is not to let this person’s false or exaggerated sense of urgency become the only reality.  Remember, for something to be urgent or an emergency, it’s “life and death.”  Everything else can be prioritized.  So to regain some control, say to that boss, “I know this is a very important matter.  Because it is important, let’s take five minutes; help me prioritize – what should I put on the backburner while I focus on this new vital priority.”  Don’t let someone else’s false urgency become your anxiety!

8.  Identify and Defuse Stress Triggers.  We all have emotional areas in which we are especially sensitive or reactive – for example, someone questioning our honesty or intelligence, talking badly about a friend or family member, or trying to tell us how we must do something his or her way, etc.  We tend to overreact emotionally and verbally when someone hits our “hot button.”  To improve your capacity for self-regulation, before reacting:  a) take some deep breaths, b) pay attention to those “3 B” – Brain-Body-Behavior – stress smoke signals; as I like to say:  Count to ten...and check within, c) can I observe the other without making a snap judgement and if they are judging me not “shake, rattle and BLOW?,” d) learn to use assertive “I” messages instead of blaming “You” messages, for example, “I don’t agree” or “I am not comfortable with…” as opposed to “You’re wrong!” or “It’s your fault!”

Actually two of my favorite stress defusers also help set limits:

A firm “no” a day keeps the ulcers away and the hostilities, too.

Do know your limits and don’t limit your “No”s.

9.  Get Organized.  Chronic clutter in a room or office (or even a car) creates a messy mind.  Recognize that anger, fear, boredom, or depression often contributes to ongoing procrastination.  Develop an ABCD system:  “A” or “top priority” items deal with promptly; “B” or important items file in a “to do” file that’s visible or easily reachable; “C” items discard whenever possible; and have a “D” box or file for future reading or reference.  (Discard most items after a short period of time if not read.)   Again, if this ABCD system is not working, reach out to a concerned friend or a counselor.  Consider this variation of the “Serenity Prayer”:  Grant me the serenity to discard the things I really do not need, to save and file the things I do, and the wisdom to know the difference (or to brazenly eviscerate 90% of my in-box)!

10.  Discover a Hobby or Engage in an Art Project…Or Just Laugh.  A life that completely revolves around responsibilities to family and work, with no time for mind-body-spirit nourishment and rejuvenation, is a life at-risk.  Remember, burnout is less a sign of failure and more that we gave ourselves away!  Hobbies or art projects, engaging in sports or physical activity that especially integrate the mental-emotional-physical, e.g., digging in a garden, walking in parks or forests, going for bike rides, trying your hand at water coloring, writing poetry, playing tennis, regular meditation, taking dance lessons (research shows this is a an especially good activity for preventing dementia as it is both spontaneous and structured)…all enable us to step back, shift gears, have fun, and rediscover the sublime in nature and our true essence.  And if not quite ready for a hobby, at least read books or watch TV, videos, or movies that make you laugh.  Laughing with gusto is like “inner jogging,” giving vital organs a brief but hearty internal massage!

In closing, if you begin to apply these “Top Ten” tips and techniques you will become commander of your own stress ship, being able to navigate stormy seas and eventually reach your own island or homeland of mind-body-spirit resiliency and serenity.  Just remember…Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative.  A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.  The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info, email:  stressdoc@aol.com.

The Cultivation of “Passion Power” – Part II: Designing the “Out-Rage-ous”

Part I provided a variety of perspectives on the concept of “Passion – from a critical tool for sales people along with leaders and orators to passion’s oft surprising connection with pain and suffering.  Also noted is the potentially creative connection between passion and emotional memory.  (http://www-stressdoc-com.blogspot.com/2015/01/psychohumor-poetry-and-passion-power.html)

Part II further extends the progression of “telling to selling (or from the dry to the dynamic) to being out-rage-ously compelling.”  Illustrations come through opening bullet points, to a pivotal quote, and, finally, to a story that brings to life the power of poignant and playful passion.  Discover how the Stress Doc help a team in the throes of trauma be reborn though “Gospel Shrink Rap ™” and a powerful group exercise that enables the dead to still “walk the halls” with the survivors.

The Cultivation of “Passion Power” – Part II
Designing the “Out-Rage-ous”

Telling to Selling:  Four Points, a Line, and a Story

To go from telling to selling, to transform the dry into the dynamic, means the data and its packaging must be:

1) seen as having intrinsic and relevant, meaningful and striking characteristics and qualities if not tangible “features and benefits,”

2) placed in a head- and heart-provoking and useful if not significant context that illuminates parts and connects pieces to a whole or gestalt with which people in actuality or in their imagination identify; the data is now truly speaking to your audience; (bonus points if the context is “surprising”), and

3) if the message is designed and delivered in a lively, captivating, and engaging manner.  (And remember, dynamic encompasses a range of energy – from the exciting and forceful to the darkly satirical or playfully droll.)

Additional bonus points if…

4) capable of not just touching one individual but able to pull the head- and heart-strings of a group or community.

 

Bottom line:  “Are you being heard or are you just making noise?!”

 

Finally, to put conceptual flesh on the above skeletal bones, let me share a pretty “Out-Rage-ous” vignette.

 

Amazing Grief:  When Resiliency Magic Springs from the Tragic

 

Once again, magic arose from the ashes of tragedy.  And the magic appeared in separate manifestations of individual and group resilience, one spontaneous, the other planned.  Let me quick-sketch the background.  I was making my second critical/group grief intervention at a social service agency after the unexpected, heart-wrenching and unexpected suicide of a much beloved staff member.  This individual seemed to play a mother or big sister role for many of her multi-generational colleagues.  Not surprisingly, the first time meeting with the group, most were in a state of shock, though several had watery eyes, a few were quietly weeping.

 

The second gathering, three days after my initial encounter, revealed fewer glazed looks; still the mood, understandably, remained somber.  During the opening check-in, a former policeman turned the tables on me.  Seemingly parts inquisitive, parts confrontational, he asked how I dealt with "stress."  Viewing his question as an opportunity to move outside my professional cover, to engage in some personal sharing, I responded, "I like to walk; and I enjoy creative writing."

 

He then asked about my writing.  When I said "poetry," he immediately asked me to share some.  Alas, the performer more than the grief consultant momentarily took the stage.  I mentioned my work as a "Shrink Rapper" ™, which induced a mix of groans and chuckles.  I quickly decided to "rap" the first four lines of a favorite:

 

When it comes to feelings do you stuff them inside?

Is tough John Wayne your emotional guide?
And it's not just men so proud and tight-lipped
For every Rambo there seems to be a Rambette!

After two lines (and the improbability of what they were seeing and hearing), the metamorphosis was palpable – from the relaxing of individual facial expressions to increasing group energy and body movement; several people had started to sway and clap.  By the end of this first stanza their eyes (and my ears) were twinkling (buzzing) with (and from the) laughter.  Now I just blasted through any sound barrier and sang the entire "Stress Rap."  Being "shocked" was no longer just associated with grief.  (Considering that all but one in the group were people of color, most African-American, with hindsight, perhaps this was the birth of "Grief" or "Gospel Rap" or "Gospel Grief Rap."  I have great memories of being electrically if not soulfully charged in many N'Awlins Jazz Fest Gospel tents. ;-).

Jolted to the Light

The enthusiastic applause told me how much this group needed some healing humor and "lightening the mood" laughter.  At the same time, despite the recent trauma, there was clear and reassuring evidence of a vital group pulse.  FYI, their cheers certainly did not reflect my "rapping" talents.  In fact, as a "Shrink Rap" performer, when the show of appreciation dies down, my standard rejoinder:  I can tell when an audience is applauding out of relief.

Now, recovering my consultant mindset, I dispensed with added banter, but noted how our immediate process reflected a truth captured by the pioneering comedic film genius, Charlie Chaplin:

A paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it is precisely the tragic which arouses the funny.  We have to laugh due to our helplessness in the face of natural forces and in order not to go crazy!

The sighs and nodding heads affirmed Chaplin's wisdom.  As I once penned:  "People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor."  Having been jolted with some positive energy, folks seemed more willing to acknowledge feelings of disappointment and regret, even some anger, for a beloved colleague who would no longer inhabit and share their physical space.  Perhaps we were creating a yin-yang/light-dark mind-body flow.  A Stress Doc rule of thumb in helping people evolve through emotional loss and change:  take time for the pain, and then help folks move from negative to positive energy.

Recalling and Committing to the Positive and the Person

As part of the grief intervention experience, the group also would benefit from being reminded of their own individual and collective humility, strengths, and skills.  And, paradoxically, we would do this by focusing on the uncommon qualities of their deceased colleague.  Let me outline the process.  I asked each participant to reflect on one trait of their former colleague that they especially valued or admired.  However, we were not simply doing an inventory.  I also asked for the chosen trait to be one that, moving forward, they would attempt to cultivate or nurture within themselves.  (I'm calling this recognition-realization process "I and I" – Identification and Internalization.   Also, the deceased had loved gardening, so the "cultivation" metaphor was particularly apt.)  Hands sprung up, some people and traits intertwined, and the list steadily blossomed:

1.  Always had a smile on her face; we tackled this one because for some it stirred feelings that she had been mostly wearing a mask.  I suggested that maybe throwing herself into work was one way this woman both felt vitally alive and could escape a more pressured and chaotic outside life.  Yet we agreed…the tragic irony was that while she was always ready with a shoulder for others -- patients or staff -- she was unable to ask for one for herself.  Not surprisingly, this discussion also became a platform for underscoring the EAP (Employee Assistance Program) as an available resource – counseling for personal or family issues, financial counseling, etc.

2.  Many admired how she advocated for people in the program.

3.  She was involved; a team player.  Also acknowledged was that the presence of gossip for some dampened a sense of individual-group trust and involvement.  People agreed this was an issue requiring further exploration.  However, one member liked my challenge:  to evolve from a "little brother" seeking attention to a "big brother" assisting others.

4.  She paid attention to details; her assessments for patients improved their therapeutic regimen.  In fact, we came up with a new operational mantra; I dubbed it the Triple "A":  ATTENTION-ASSESSMENT-ADVOCACY.  I suspect there will soon be a sign or a banner hanging somewhere in the premises.

5.  She was a good friend, who went over and beyond the call many times.

6.  She engaged in volunteer projects; she was a "truly good person" with a "caring and generous heart."

7.  Finally, her dependability was noted; her words were backed by actions.

We then discussed ways of sustaining remembrance beyond a memorial service -- for example, planting a garden in her honor; or creating a scrapbook or bulletin board with stories and pictures, especially ones with staff members.  A second scrapbook might even be offered to her family.  The supervisor was also encouraged to empower a memorial task group for more ideas.

 Closing Commentary and Addendum

The hour was running down; people had to return to their patients.  There was time for one final observation:  I shared the belief that if each person dedicated him- or herself to nurturing the selected trait, two vital chains of events would be set in motion:  first, they would be giving themselves the beautiful gift of remembrance and honor as personal growth; and second, from a larger perspective, their colleague's essence would remain intact.  The collective, "parts to partnership" synergy would provide "life" restoring elan vitale (or "vital force").  While this commitment would never replace her physical presence; her spirit would palpably walk the halls and echo off the workplace walls.  People seemed to exit with a good deal more energy, hope, and possibility – a more resilient spring to their step, as it were – than they had coming in.  We had engaged in a process that transformed the “suffering” into a provocative, passion-driven pain with a purpose (seven spiced my some “Gospel Rap” humor), what I call, and will further illuminate as, “The 5 ‘P’s of Passion Power!”  Amen and women to that!

P.S.  After the group intervention, the previously mentioned former policeman approached me.  He's been talking to a colleague seemingly bottling up some stress.  "And he won't open up!  What should I do?"  My reply:  "How about asking this person if you could check in periodically, maybe once a week, to see how s/he's doing?"  This "old school" guy's reply:  "Oh, I shouldn't try to make him talk."  I smiled and nodded.  The gentleman was displaying some maturity and resilience:   considering a novel, more flexible strategy for dealing with personal frustration and interpersonal boundaries, for relating with and assisting another.  A good way to help one and all...Practice Safe Stress!

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Mark Gorkin, the Stress Doc ™, www.stressdoc.com, acclaimed Keynote and Kickoff Speaker, Webinar Presenter, Retreat Leader and Motivational Humorist, is the author of Practice Safe Stress and The Four Faces of Anger. A former Stress & Violence Prevention consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc leads one-day "Stress Resiliency" workshops for "METRO" Managers and Supervisors of the Washington Metro Area Transit Authority (WMATA).   "The Doc" is also a Team Building and Organizational Development Consultant as well as a Stress Resilience/Wellness Consultant for the international corporate wellness/insurance brokerage group, The Hays Companies.  Mark leads highly interactive, innovative, and inspiring programs for corporations and government agencies, including the US Military, on stress and brain resiliency/burnout prevention through humor, change and conflict management, generational communication, and 3 "R" -- Responsible, Resilient & Risk-Taking -- leadership-partnership team building.

Email stressdoc@aol.com for his popular free newsletter & info on speaking programs and phone coaching sessions.  And click https://vimeo.com/69053828 for the Stress Doc's wildly pioneering "Shrink Rap" video.

Stress Doc Mantra: "Think out of the box, perform outside the curve (the Bell Curve) and be out-rage-ous!"

Building Stress Resilience: Five Part Series

Through the wonders of Linked-in I connected with a Nurse-Research Analyst working for a national insurance/health benefits consulting firm.  This health expert wants to address the stress-related factors that contribute to the “Big Four Impacting Workplace Wellness”:  high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, and alcohol and smoking.  (For the last abusive symptom mix, with a touch of cynicism, I suggested an expansion of the category.  Follow the government’s nomenclature; call it ATF:  Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms!  As you may already know, I would add Sleep to our “Medical MT. Rushmore.”)  As this consultant explained, wearing a pedometer is useful but hardly sufficient to address the near crisis health conditions.

We agreed I would present a 20 minute phone conference to the health benefits team of a client company.  The goal was providing future “Lunch and Learn” wellness programs to company employees.  It went well enough that two days later the company’s health benefits team in Charlotte also asked for a stress resilience phone conference.

The Birth of a Series and a Good Omen

But perhaps the most important moment was when the coordinating consultant asked if I could put together a series of “Stress Resilience” programs.  That was all the encouragement needed.  It’s as if this idea had already been gestating, and only needed a little prodding to come kicking and screaming out into the world.  Knocking out a stress segment a day...a new ready to roll and bounce Stress Doc offering.

Each program segment has a blurb and five objectives.  Also, knowing she would have to sell me and the stress resilience concept to her boss, the Nurse Consultant asked me to address the question of my qualifications to deliver the series.  Career path and skills-based outlines follow the five program blurbs and objectives.  Also recent and past, including military, testimonials.

Clearly, this is a series I am opening up to the universe.  In fact, yesterday brought a good omen.  An Army Officer/recent Company Commander that I met a few years back while leading a program for Command Officers at Ft Hood, TX, dropped me a Linked-in note.  K. asked if he might pass my name to the Media Relations Officer at Ft. Irwin, Cal.  Stress Resilience is the buzz in the Army.  We were definitely on the same wavelength!  (Actually, he initially asked if I might be interested in doing a radio talk-show.  Interested…for years my objective has been to get enough exposure so I’m finally arrested for indecency!)

 

Await your ideas on content – additions and subtractions – on edits, elaborations, questions, etc.  Please feel free to share.

Remember, my motto:  Have Stress?  Will Travel:  A Smart Mouth for Hire!  Thanks,
 

Mark

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1)  Blending Burnout Prevention/Recovery, Psychological Hardiness and Natural SPEED

2)  Proactively Engaging with Change and Loss, Trauma and Bad Habits: Grieve, Let Go, Seek One in the Know and Grow with the Flow

3)  Empathic Assertion: A Communication Skillset for Disarming Power Struggles and Defusing Critical Aggressors while Developing Integrity, Collaboration, and Trust

4) The HARP Method: Blending Healing Humor, Acknowledging flaws and foibles, practicing Resilient Risk-taking, and overcoming Procrastination

5)  Designing Resilient and Responsive (“R and R”) Teams: A “Helmets Off and Hands On” and “High Tech and Human Touch” (HT²)™ Approach
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1)  Building Stress Resilience:  Blending Hardiness, Burnout Prevention/Recovery, and Natural SPEED

In a 24/7 world that's cycling from “do more with less reorganizing to ever faster upgrading” managing stress and achieving better balance and sense of control of one’s mind-body health, work-life, and psycho-social-organizational systems are vital.  The challenges to wellness, morale, and productivity have never been greater, especially in times of rapid change or organizational cultural transition.

Have no fear…Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Learn to recognize stress smoke signals, recover from or prevent burnout, develop stress resilience or “psychological hardiness” (especially useful in transitional times).  In addition, learn of the Stress Doc’s self-designed Six “R” burnout recovery plan.  Discover the Stress Doc's Natural SPEED model and method for expanding personal energy, stress resiliency, cognitive agility, and emotional integrity.  And finally, experience the Stress Doc as a “healing humorist,” that is, his pioneering work in the field of psychologically humorous rap music “Shrink Rap” ™ Productions.

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You
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OBJECTIVES

1.  Rapidly and playfully identify stress smoke signals; discover the “Four Stages of Burnout”

2.  Overcome and prevent burnout by learning to “let go”; in a small group exercise, explore the challenge of “letting go vs. holding on”; gain the company-based research for thriving in transition – the “Four ‘C’s of Psychological Hardiness”

3.  Discover the Stress Doc’s Six “R”s Personal Burnout Recovery/Rejuvenation Model: Running (an Exercise Regimen), Reading, Retreating, Writing, Relating and Risk-taking

4.  Discover “The Stress Doc’s Stress Resiliency, Brain-Body Agility and Emotional Integrity Formula for Natural SPEED – Sleep, Priorities, Passion, Empathy, Exercise and Diet”

5.  Experience “healing humor” through the Stress Doc’s acclaimed “Shrink Rap” ™

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!
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2)  Proactively Engaging with Change and Loss, Trauma and Bad Habits: Grieve, Let Go, Seek One in the Know and Grow with the Flow
 

We live and work in a TNT/3-D – Time-Numbers-Technology/Driven, Distracted & Disruptive – World where upgrading, restructuring, and uncertainty seem constant and everything happens NOW.  Not surprisingly, stress resilience requires dealing productively with loss and change – whether involving people and projects or deliverables and dreams.  The blow may also come from the unexpected departure, illness, and death of a beloved colleague, team member, or leader.  It is critical to have a mindset, skillset, and support-set for effectively and resourcefully engaging with and learning from loss and change, grief or trauma.

Have no fear…Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Recognize the “danger and opportunity” in personal-professional change and crisis.  Understand how personal baggage may become a heavy anchor.  Especially in times of major transition or uncertainty, the ability to:  a) quickly yet meaningfully process emotions, especially angst and anger, yet also realize grief has its own personal timeline, b) understand the difference between natural, self-healing grief and life-constricting clinical depression, c) know when to seek out a “stress buddy” or supervisor, mentor or professional health advisor, d) consider a “good enough” range of options and move in a new direction by making “sadder but wiser” (even if imperfect) decisions, e) reconsider limitations or restrictions of an outmoded past and f) envision and remodel a new – streamlined or expanded – personal-professional identity, reliable support-resource pool, and future career-life path is vital.  Also invaluable is the capacity for finding healing humor in “somber circumstances and irksome tasks” (as noted by the pioneering humanist, Helen Keller.)  Finally, sometimes it’s our own rigid restrictions or self-defeating habits (or addictions, alas) that trap and drain us.  Once again the mind-body-spirit pass is in the impasse:  Grieve, Let Go, Seek One in the Know and Grow with the Flow!

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.
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OBJECTIVES

1.  Understand why many freeze, flee or fight change rather than face and reframe it and then flow

2.  Engage in a small group exercise that illustrates the danger and opportunity” in loss or change, trauma or crisis; learn to recognize and “Confront Your Intimate FOE” and grapple with “Grief Ghosts”

3.  Learn what it means and what it takes to truly “let go” (including recognizing the “stages of grief”), manage the edgy unknown, and be open to new ideas and future possibilities

4. Discover why and how healing and harmonizing humor can enable individuals, departments, and all manner and sizes of teams to break through grief barriers, overcome dysfunctional conflict, and reengage as a vital community

5.  Experience a relaxation-visualization exercise that examines and helps you begin to “let go” of rigidities and self-defeating habits or behavior patterns while envisioning yourself in a new and proactive light.

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!
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3)  Empathic Assertion:  A Communication Skillset for Disarming Power Struggles and Defusing Critical Aggressors while Developing Integrity, Collaboration, and Trust

 

In times of rapid change, when people are operating with significant stress and uncertainty – at work and/or in their home lives – workplace tension will often have a communication and conflict component.  Add a high demand work world, where employees experience:  a) regular disruptions in the control of their work, their output, or schedule, b) face significant staffing, resource, training, support, career promotion, and chronic time pressures, c) interact with a top-down, slow-responding, or remote chain of command not open to diverse ideas, and/or e) perceived “favoritism,” rumor-driven cliques, or “stress carriers” permeate the environment…Not surprisingly, research suggests as much as 75% of workplace stress has an interpersonal component!

 

Once again, Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Reduce interpersonal tension and create a more open and participatory work culture by walking the Doc’s Triple “A” and “PRO Relating” talk.  Especially discover what showing genuine “Respect” and being “Responsible” really mean.  Practice “Empathic and Tactical-Tactful Assertion” skills, including the trust-building power of asking “Good Questions” and “meta-communicating” for disarming power struggles and defusing critical aggressors.  Discover the “Art of Active and Reflective Listening and Questioning.”  And finally, learn different conflict problem solving styles and employ the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Inventory to engage “Collaboratively” with a real personal-professional issue.
 

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.

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OBJECTIVES

 

1.  Discover the Triple “A” – Authority-Autonomy-Accountability – for fostering a climate of Individual/Organizational Responsibility and Resiliency (aka “Helmet’s Off and Hands On”)
 

2.  Restore a Four “R” culture that fosters PRO – Professional-Reciprocal-Ongoing – Relating:  being Respectful-Real-Responsible-Responsive; learn new, thought-provoking ways of envisioning the Four “R”s
 

3.  Through modified and fun role-play, gain “empathic assertion” skills for defusing power struggles by asking courageous “Good Questions” and building trust; learn to tactically and tactfully disarm a critical aggressor
 

4.  Discover the “Art of Active and Reflective Listening and Questioning”; learn to clarify and be concise; paraphrase and pause; differentiate reaction from response and when and how to reflect and reveal; mutually strategize and summarize
 

5.  As a small group exercise, use the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory to address “collaboratively” a real conflict situation; discover the creativity by harnessing diversity.
 

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

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4)  The HARP Method:  Blending Healing Humor, Acknowledging flaws and foibles, practicing Resilient Risk-taking, and overcoming Procrastination

As the world moves, spins, and evolves at an ever faster pace, learning to engage in conscious and calculated risk-raking is a necessary tool for survival and adaptation.  Despite anxieties, doubts, and/or resistances, being decisive while knowing when to exercise restraint (e. g, understanding when to spur to action or when to purposefully place some reins on unbridled passion) are critical resiliency components.  And while reflection is often a plus…inertia invariable becomes a self-defeating trap.  So first off, let’s confront that aversive and subversive “P”-word – Procrastination.  Next, how to find that optimal balance between “stability and chaos,” to be open to the new but also apprentice long enough to develop some real mind-body muscles, meaningful experience, and maybe even some hard-earned wisdom?  And perhaps the two most important mantra-tools in the “Resilient Risk-Taking” mind-mood tool box:  a) “Learn to Fail or Fail to Learn” and b) “Laugh at One’s Own Flaws and Foibles”
 

Have no fear (well, perhaps a little)…Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Through fast-paced presentation and group interaction, gain skills and strategies for playing the HARP:  overcoming procrastination and establishing better organizational patterns.  Discover the key steps to becoming a “Resilient Risk-Taker; for yourself and team members, learn to appropriately apply “healing humor” to better reduce the “ego” and “egoal” risk of trial and error; develop a multi-faceted – “learner not loser” – view of failure. And finally, bring it all together:  a) overcome procrastination, b) take a small but meaningful risk, c) engage in self-affirmation by share self-effacing and healing/harmonizing humor, and d) strengthen team cohesion and resilience by engaging in the Stress Doc’s acclaimed “Four Word Exercise.”
 

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.

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OBJECTIVES

1.  Grasp the dynamics behind why we procrastinate; learn to PANIC to achieve “Emancipation Procrastination”
 

2.  Engage in a small group/peer consultation exercise to strengthen strategic time organization
 

3.  Learn the “Four Steps of Resilient Risk-Taking” – from “Aware-ily Jump in Over Your Head” to “Design for Error and Opportunity, Exploration and Integration”
 

4.  Appreciate the power of “healing and harmonizing humor” for fostering individual and team resiliency; discover a simple too for evolving as a healing humorist
 

5.  Participate in the powerful, inspiring, and FUN stress- and group resiliency- as well as camaraderie- building exercise – “Confronting the Intimate FOE.”
 

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

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5)  Designing Resilient & Responsive (“R and R”) Teams:  A “Helmets Off & Hands On” and “High Tech and Human Touch” (HT²)™ Approach
 

In today’s 24/7, hyper-paced world, building personal-professional stress resilience is certainly a vital and necessary step.  However, it is not sufficient.  We need to weave a safe and secure net of interdependent relations.  This support net knows that in times of stress and conflict, productive problem solving is often less a matter of “fight or flight” and more “tend and befriend.”  (Of course, some individual and group conflict is inevitable and needs to be addressed with “good enough” skill, honest dialogue, and personal-professional integrity.)  Evolving team leader/member communication-relationship transparency and trust enhances the likelihood of:  a) constructive engagement, b) meaningful resolution, as well as c) strengthened team consensus, cohesion, and resilience.  And in the workplace the ideal group to provide that revitalizing mix of “high tech/task and human touch” is the work team.  How can a work team live up to its potential for generating “R and R” – Resilience and Responsiveness?  Discover a group process for cultivating the Stress Doc’s notion of “team synergy”:  where the whole is not just greater than the sum of the parts, but the parts evolve into purposeful partners!
 

And in the final session, Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Discover the Doc’s “Helmet’s Off and Hands On” method for cultivating a “High Tech and Human Touch (HT²) ™ Culture.”  Appreciate why and how “winning” teams blend “Individual Creativity and Interactive Community.”  Engage in a “Barriers and Bridges” exercise for developing “Resilient and Responsive” teams.  Learn “how to” structures and techniques for facilitating team member participation in and commitment to both individual and group vision and goals.  At the same time, it’s vital that team members and, especially, leaders know how to professionally engage dis-eased, disruptive, or dysfunctional group members.  And lastly, close with a strategic “Five Session Series Review and Next Steps.”
 

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.

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OBJECTIVES
 

1.  Understand why “There’s no ‘I’ in team” may not be the best team mantra; grasp the importance of “Helmets Off and Hands On” and the Triple “A” for building “Winning” teams

2.  Engage in the acclaimed “3-D – Discussion-Drawing-Diversity – Team Building Exercise”; identify key barriers to more coordinated, supportive, and productive teams

3.  Engage in the follow-up “Consultation Problem Solving Team Role-Play”; build communicational and structural bridges for more coordinated and supportive, focused and productive, diverse and synergistic teams; discover the “Stress Doc’s Elite Eight for Building Resilient and Responsive Teams”

4.  Explore constructive ways for team leaders and team members to respond to a disruptive “stress carrier”

5.  Closing review of what participants have learned/applied; finally, strategic next steps and commitments for “Sustaining Stress and Team Resilience.”

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

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Why Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, the “Stress Doc” ™, is the right person to deliver this “5-Part Building Stress Resilience Series”:

 

Overview:  Stress Resilience Background and Experience, Skills and Credits
 

1.  He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over thirty years of private practice and agency experience

2.  After burning out on a doctoral dissertation, he became an expert in the field of stress and burnout, including breaking into radio and television becoming known as the “Stress Doc”; in the ‘80s, had a syndicated “Stress Brake” radio feature with Longhorn Radio Network, University of Texas, Austin

3.  In the ‘80s, as an adjunct, he taught Crisis Intervention/Brief Therapy Techniques to Social Work Grad Students at Tulane University, New Orleans, LA; often had largest elective class enrollment; became known as “Mr. Crisis Intervention”

4.  Over the years he has published hundreds of popular articles on the topics, of stress, burnout, loss and change; in addition to his own blog, his writings are regularly published by the large web platforms – Workforce.com (as a “stress expert,” his Q and A responses to reader’s questions has been a long-running as-needed feature), HR.com, Mental Help Net; his website – stressdoc.com – has been called a “workplace resource” by National Public Radio (NPR); there are a variety of training videos on the site; after many years, he still has a very high ranking on Google for the term “burnout”

5.  He is the author of three “resiliency”-related books:
 

Ø  Resiliency Rap:  The Wit and Wisdom of the Shrink Rapper ™

Ø  Practice Safe Stress:  Healing and Laughing in the Face of Stress, Burnout, and Depression

Ø  The Four Faces of Anger:  Transforming Anger, Rage, and Conflict Into Inspiring Attitude and Behavior

6.  He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop, and retreat leader, having led nearly a thousand programs in the past thirty years for an array of companies, government agencies, non-profits, etc.; areas of specialty include stress resilience/burnout prevention and recovery, conflict and communication skills, transforming loss and change, team building and, most recently, resilient risk-taking and creative leadership; in particular he has led several Pre-Deployment and Post-Deployment Retreat Workshops – “Stress Resilience, Humor, and Team Building” – for various Military Units, especially at Ft. Hood, TX; see testimonials below

7.  In the past five years, he has led a number of resilience-related webinars; for nearly ten years he ran a “Shrink Rap and Group Chat” for AOL; responding rapidly, succinctly, yet meaningfully to participants' Instant Messages (a forerunner of texting) was critical

8.  Living in the DC area since 1990, he has considerable experience with federal, county, and city government agencies; he has collaborated with many EAP programs/professionals

9.  In the ‘90s, he was a Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service; both management and the unions wrote letters of praise regarding his contribution to workforce productivity and morale

10.  For the past three years through the present, he has been doing Critical Incident/Trauma-Grief Intervention Consulting for Business Health Services HQd in Baltimore, MD; and periodically over the past twenty years as an independent contractor, he’s done Critical Incident work for a variety of government agencies; his inspiring manner even emerges in CI work, e.g., after two recent 20-minute critical incident/grief sessions with staff, a Hospital Chaplin commented:  “You had them in the palm of your hands!”

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Stress Resilience Speaking/Training Skills and Tools

1.  He is a dynamic, high energy, and inspiring presenter that helps audiences get more FIT:  his programs are FUN, Interactive, and Thought-provoking; after a program, people often approach commenting on the great energy and ideas; his programs involve and evolve a lively rhythm of group interaction/exercises, take-home ideas and bullets, and Q and A

2.  As many have noted, his ability to integrate skillfully humor and play in programs, even with serious or somber subjects – from speaking to critical interventions – helps him capture people’s attention and his message stand out; as he once penned:  People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor!

3.  The 5- part program illustrates the diversity and range of professional experience as a speaker, workshop/trainer, therapist, stress, critical incident/grief- and team-building consultant, retreat leader, chat group leader/facilitatorauthor and writer.  He has integrated a powerful array of topics for his “Stress Resilience” arsenal:  stress resilience/burnout prevention and recovery, conflict and communication skills, transforming loss and change, team building and, most recently, resilient risk-taking and creative leadership

4.  He is comfortable and experienced working with organizations in both the private and not-for-profit sectors and with audiences of varying sizes – ranging from less than twenty to two hundred or more

5.  His electronic media and public speaking/teaching/writing experience has honed an ability to synthesize and express complex ideas into manageable and memorable concepts and tools; his revision of the old KISS standard:  Keep It Simple and Smart!; from his days in TV and radio, he projects energy and enthusiasm whether he can literally touch an audience member or not

6.  He is adept at facilitating group discussion; in fact he often sees himself as “an orchestra leader, helping others (including teams) bring out their best music”

7.  He is adept at fielding audience questions on the fly; this process often elicits personal-professional (yet appropriate, on point and concise) stories that truly bring to light and life meaningful responses to participants’ questions and concerns

8.  As a workshop and retreat leader, engaging interactive programs along with a facility for “Emotional Intelligence” helps break down communication and status barriers among participants; one military commander noted that after a stress-team building program, during a follow-up meeting, his senior officers and senior sergeants had the most open, least contentious and territorial, and most productive pre-deployment retreat

9.  His substance and style have been noted as supporting and affirming top management’s mission and values

10.  Audiences love his closing:  the Doc’s pioneering effort in the field of psychologically humorous “rap” music – Shrink Rap ™ Productions!

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