Building Stress Resilience: Five Part Series

Through the wonders of Linked-in I connected with a Nurse-Research Analyst working for a national insurance/health benefits consulting firm.  This health expert wants to address the stress-related factors that contribute to the “Big Four Impacting Workplace Wellness”:  high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, and alcohol and smoking.  (For the last abusive symptom mix, with a touch of cynicism, I suggested an expansion of the category.  Follow the government’s nomenclature; call it ATF:  Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms!  As you may already know, I would add Sleep to our “Medical MT. Rushmore.”)  As this consultant explained, wearing a pedometer is useful but hardly sufficient to address the near crisis health conditions.

We agreed I would present a 20 minute phone conference to the health benefits team of a client company.  The goal was providing future “Lunch and Learn” wellness programs to company employees.  It went well enough that two days later the company’s health benefits team in Charlotte also asked for a stress resilience phone conference.

The Birth of a Series and a Good Omen

But perhaps the most important moment was when the coordinating consultant asked if I could put together a series of “Stress Resilience” programs.  That was all the encouragement needed.  It’s as if this idea had already been gestating, and only needed a little prodding to come kicking and screaming out into the world.  Knocking out a stress segment a day...a new ready to roll and bounce Stress Doc offering.

Each program segment has a blurb and five objectives.  Also, knowing she would have to sell me and the stress resilience concept to her boss, the Nurse Consultant asked me to address the question of my qualifications to deliver the series.  Career path and skills-based outlines follow the five program blurbs and objectives.  Also recent and past, including military, testimonials.

Clearly, this is a series I am opening up to the universe.  In fact, yesterday brought a good omen.  An Army Officer/recent Company Commander that I met a few years back while leading a program for Command Officers at Ft Hood, TX, dropped me a Linked-in note.  K. asked if he might pass my name to the Media Relations Officer at Ft. Irwin, Cal.  Stress Resilience is the buzz in the Army.  We were definitely on the same wavelength!  (Actually, he initially asked if I might be interested in doing a radio talk-show.  Interested…for years my objective has been to get enough exposure so I’m finally arrested for indecency!)

 

Await your ideas on content – additions and subtractions – on edits, elaborations, questions, etc.  Please feel free to share.

Remember, my motto:  Have Stress?  Will Travel:  A Smart Mouth for Hire!  Thanks,
 

Mark

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1)  Blending Burnout Prevention/Recovery, Psychological Hardiness and Natural SPEED

2)  Proactively Engaging with Change and Loss, Trauma and Bad Habits: Grieve, Let Go, Seek One in the Know and Grow with the Flow

3)  Empathic Assertion: A Communication Skillset for Disarming Power Struggles and Defusing Critical Aggressors while Developing Integrity, Collaboration, and Trust

4) The HARP Method: Blending Healing Humor, Acknowledging flaws and foibles, practicing Resilient Risk-taking, and overcoming Procrastination

5)  Designing Resilient and Responsive (“R and R”) Teams: A “Helmets Off and Hands On” and “High Tech and Human Touch” (HT²)™ Approach
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1)  Building Stress Resilience:  Blending Hardiness, Burnout Prevention/Recovery, and Natural SPEED

In a 24/7 world that's cycling from “do more with less reorganizing to ever faster upgrading” managing stress and achieving better balance and sense of control of one’s mind-body health, work-life, and psycho-social-organizational systems are vital.  The challenges to wellness, morale, and productivity have never been greater, especially in times of rapid change or organizational cultural transition.

Have no fear…Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Learn to recognize stress smoke signals, recover from or prevent burnout, develop stress resilience or “psychological hardiness” (especially useful in transitional times).  In addition, learn of the Stress Doc’s self-designed Six “R” burnout recovery plan.  Discover the Stress Doc's Natural SPEED model and method for expanding personal energy, stress resiliency, cognitive agility, and emotional integrity.  And finally, experience the Stress Doc as a “healing humorist,” that is, his pioneering work in the field of psychologically humorous rap music “Shrink Rap” ™ Productions.

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You
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OBJECTIVES

1.  Rapidly and playfully identify stress smoke signals; discover the “Four Stages of Burnout”

2.  Overcome and prevent burnout by learning to “let go”; in a small group exercise, explore the challenge of “letting go vs. holding on”; gain the company-based research for thriving in transition – the “Four ‘C’s of Psychological Hardiness”

3.  Discover the Stress Doc’s Six “R”s Personal Burnout Recovery/Rejuvenation Model: Running (an Exercise Regimen), Reading, Retreating, Writing, Relating and Risk-taking

4.  Discover “The Stress Doc’s Stress Resiliency, Brain-Body Agility and Emotional Integrity Formula for Natural SPEED – Sleep, Priorities, Passion, Empathy, Exercise and Diet”

5.  Experience “healing humor” through the Stress Doc’s acclaimed “Shrink Rap” ™

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!
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2)  Proactively Engaging with Change and Loss, Trauma and Bad Habits: Grieve, Let Go, Seek One in the Know and Grow with the Flow
 

We live and work in a TNT/3-D – Time-Numbers-Technology/Driven, Distracted & Disruptive – World where upgrading, restructuring, and uncertainty seem constant and everything happens NOW.  Not surprisingly, stress resilience requires dealing productively with loss and change – whether involving people and projects or deliverables and dreams.  The blow may also come from the unexpected departure, illness, and death of a beloved colleague, team member, or leader.  It is critical to have a mindset, skillset, and support-set for effectively and resourcefully engaging with and learning from loss and change, grief or trauma.

Have no fear…Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Recognize the “danger and opportunity” in personal-professional change and crisis.  Understand how personal baggage may become a heavy anchor.  Especially in times of major transition or uncertainty, the ability to:  a) quickly yet meaningfully process emotions, especially angst and anger, yet also realize grief has its own personal timeline, b) understand the difference between natural, self-healing grief and life-constricting clinical depression, c) know when to seek out a “stress buddy” or supervisor, mentor or professional health advisor, d) consider a “good enough” range of options and move in a new direction by making “sadder but wiser” (even if imperfect) decisions, e) reconsider limitations or restrictions of an outmoded past and f) envision and remodel a new – streamlined or expanded – personal-professional identity, reliable support-resource pool, and future career-life path is vital.  Also invaluable is the capacity for finding healing humor in “somber circumstances and irksome tasks” (as noted by the pioneering humanist, Helen Keller.)  Finally, sometimes it’s our own rigid restrictions or self-defeating habits (or addictions, alas) that trap and drain us.  Once again the mind-body-spirit pass is in the impasse:  Grieve, Let Go, Seek One in the Know and Grow with the Flow!

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.
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OBJECTIVES

1.  Understand why many freeze, flee or fight change rather than face and reframe it and then flow

2.  Engage in a small group exercise that illustrates the danger and opportunity” in loss or change, trauma or crisis; learn to recognize and “Confront Your Intimate FOE” and grapple with “Grief Ghosts”

3.  Learn what it means and what it takes to truly “let go” (including recognizing the “stages of grief”), manage the edgy unknown, and be open to new ideas and future possibilities

4. Discover why and how healing and harmonizing humor can enable individuals, departments, and all manner and sizes of teams to break through grief barriers, overcome dysfunctional conflict, and reengage as a vital community

5.  Experience a relaxation-visualization exercise that examines and helps you begin to “let go” of rigidities and self-defeating habits or behavior patterns while envisioning yourself in a new and proactive light.

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!
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3)  Empathic Assertion:  A Communication Skillset for Disarming Power Struggles and Defusing Critical Aggressors while Developing Integrity, Collaboration, and Trust

 

In times of rapid change, when people are operating with significant stress and uncertainty – at work and/or in their home lives – workplace tension will often have a communication and conflict component.  Add a high demand work world, where employees experience:  a) regular disruptions in the control of their work, their output, or schedule, b) face significant staffing, resource, training, support, career promotion, and chronic time pressures, c) interact with a top-down, slow-responding, or remote chain of command not open to diverse ideas, and/or e) perceived “favoritism,” rumor-driven cliques, or “stress carriers” permeate the environment…Not surprisingly, research suggests as much as 75% of workplace stress has an interpersonal component!

 

Once again, Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Reduce interpersonal tension and create a more open and participatory work culture by walking the Doc’s Triple “A” and “PRO Relating” talk.  Especially discover what showing genuine “Respect” and being “Responsible” really mean.  Practice “Empathic and Tactical-Tactful Assertion” skills, including the trust-building power of asking “Good Questions” and “meta-communicating” for disarming power struggles and defusing critical aggressors.  Discover the “Art of Active and Reflective Listening and Questioning.”  And finally, learn different conflict problem solving styles and employ the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Inventory to engage “Collaboratively” with a real personal-professional issue.
 

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.

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OBJECTIVES

 

1.  Discover the Triple “A” – Authority-Autonomy-Accountability – for fostering a climate of Individual/Organizational Responsibility and Resiliency (aka “Helmet’s Off and Hands On”)
 

2.  Restore a Four “R” culture that fosters PRO – Professional-Reciprocal-Ongoing – Relating:  being Respectful-Real-Responsible-Responsive; learn new, thought-provoking ways of envisioning the Four “R”s
 

3.  Through modified and fun role-play, gain “empathic assertion” skills for defusing power struggles by asking courageous “Good Questions” and building trust; learn to tactically and tactfully disarm a critical aggressor
 

4.  Discover the “Art of Active and Reflective Listening and Questioning”; learn to clarify and be concise; paraphrase and pause; differentiate reaction from response and when and how to reflect and reveal; mutually strategize and summarize
 

5.  As a small group exercise, use the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory to address “collaboratively” a real conflict situation; discover the creativity by harnessing diversity.
 

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

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4)  The HARP Method:  Blending Healing Humor, Acknowledging flaws and foibles, practicing Resilient Risk-taking, and overcoming Procrastination

As the world moves, spins, and evolves at an ever faster pace, learning to engage in conscious and calculated risk-raking is a necessary tool for survival and adaptation.  Despite anxieties, doubts, and/or resistances, being decisive while knowing when to exercise restraint (e. g, understanding when to spur to action or when to purposefully place some reins on unbridled passion) are critical resiliency components.  And while reflection is often a plus…inertia invariable becomes a self-defeating trap.  So first off, let’s confront that aversive and subversive “P”-word – Procrastination.  Next, how to find that optimal balance between “stability and chaos,” to be open to the new but also apprentice long enough to develop some real mind-body muscles, meaningful experience, and maybe even some hard-earned wisdom?  And perhaps the two most important mantra-tools in the “Resilient Risk-Taking” mind-mood tool box:  a) “Learn to Fail or Fail to Learn” and b) “Laugh at One’s Own Flaws and Foibles”
 

Have no fear (well, perhaps a little)…Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Through fast-paced presentation and group interaction, gain skills and strategies for playing the HARP:  overcoming procrastination and establishing better organizational patterns.  Discover the key steps to becoming a “Resilient Risk-Taker; for yourself and team members, learn to appropriately apply “healing humor” to better reduce the “ego” and “egoal” risk of trial and error; develop a multi-faceted – “learner not loser” – view of failure. And finally, bring it all together:  a) overcome procrastination, b) take a small but meaningful risk, c) engage in self-affirmation by share self-effacing and healing/harmonizing humor, and d) strengthen team cohesion and resilience by engaging in the Stress Doc’s acclaimed “Four Word Exercise.”
 

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.

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OBJECTIVES

1.  Grasp the dynamics behind why we procrastinate; learn to PANIC to achieve “Emancipation Procrastination”
 

2.  Engage in a small group/peer consultation exercise to strengthen strategic time organization
 

3.  Learn the “Four Steps of Resilient Risk-Taking” – from “Aware-ily Jump in Over Your Head” to “Design for Error and Opportunity, Exploration and Integration”
 

4.  Appreciate the power of “healing and harmonizing humor” for fostering individual and team resiliency; discover a simple too for evolving as a healing humorist
 

5.  Participate in the powerful, inspiring, and FUN stress- and group resiliency- as well as camaraderie- building exercise – “Confronting the Intimate FOE.”
 

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

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5)  Designing Resilient & Responsive (“R and R”) Teams:  A “Helmets Off & Hands On” and “High Tech and Human Touch” (HT²)™ Approach
 

In today’s 24/7, hyper-paced world, building personal-professional stress resilience is certainly a vital and necessary step.  However, it is not sufficient.  We need to weave a safe and secure net of interdependent relations.  This support net knows that in times of stress and conflict, productive problem solving is often less a matter of “fight or flight” and more “tend and befriend.”  (Of course, some individual and group conflict is inevitable and needs to be addressed with “good enough” skill, honest dialogue, and personal-professional integrity.)  Evolving team leader/member communication-relationship transparency and trust enhances the likelihood of:  a) constructive engagement, b) meaningful resolution, as well as c) strengthened team consensus, cohesion, and resilience.  And in the workplace the ideal group to provide that revitalizing mix of “high tech/task and human touch” is the work team.  How can a work team live up to its potential for generating “R and R” – Resilience and Responsiveness?  Discover a group process for cultivating the Stress Doc’s notion of “team synergy”:  where the whole is not just greater than the sum of the parts, but the parts evolve into purposeful partners!
 

And in the final session, Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Discover the Doc’s “Helmet’s Off and Hands On” method for cultivating a “High Tech and Human Touch (HT²) ™ Culture.”  Appreciate why and how “winning” teams blend “Individual Creativity and Interactive Community.”  Engage in a “Barriers and Bridges” exercise for developing “Resilient and Responsive” teams.  Learn “how to” structures and techniques for facilitating team member participation in and commitment to both individual and group vision and goals.  At the same time, it’s vital that team members and, especially, leaders know how to professionally engage dis-eased, disruptive, or dysfunctional group members.  And lastly, close with a strategic “Five Session Series Review and Next Steps.”
 

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.

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OBJECTIVES
 

1.  Understand why “There’s no ‘I’ in team” may not be the best team mantra; grasp the importance of “Helmets Off and Hands On” and the Triple “A” for building “Winning” teams

2.  Engage in the acclaimed “3-D – Discussion-Drawing-Diversity – Team Building Exercise”; identify key barriers to more coordinated, supportive, and productive teams

3.  Engage in the follow-up “Consultation Problem Solving Team Role-Play”; build communicational and structural bridges for more coordinated and supportive, focused and productive, diverse and synergistic teams; discover the “Stress Doc’s Elite Eight for Building Resilient and Responsive Teams”

4.  Explore constructive ways for team leaders and team members to respond to a disruptive “stress carrier”

5.  Closing review of what participants have learned/applied; finally, strategic next steps and commitments for “Sustaining Stress and Team Resilience.”

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

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Why Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, the “Stress Doc” ™, is the right person to deliver this “5-Part Building Stress Resilience Series”:

 

Overview:  Stress Resilience Background and Experience, Skills and Credits
 

1.  He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over thirty years of private practice and agency experience

2.  After burning out on a doctoral dissertation, he became an expert in the field of stress and burnout, including breaking into radio and television becoming known as the “Stress Doc”; in the ‘80s, had a syndicated “Stress Brake” radio feature with Longhorn Radio Network, University of Texas, Austin

3.  In the ‘80s, as an adjunct, he taught Crisis Intervention/Brief Therapy Techniques to Social Work Grad Students at Tulane University, New Orleans, LA; often had largest elective class enrollment; became known as “Mr. Crisis Intervention”

4.  Over the years he has published hundreds of popular articles on the topics, of stress, burnout, loss and change; in addition to his own blog, his writings are regularly published by the large web platforms – Workforce.com (as a “stress expert,” his Q and A responses to reader’s questions has been a long-running as-needed feature), HR.com, Mental Help Net; his website – stressdoc.com – has been called a “workplace resource” by National Public Radio (NPR); there are a variety of training videos on the site; after many years, he still has a very high ranking on Google for the term “burnout”

5.  He is the author of three “resiliency”-related books:
 

Ø  Resiliency Rap:  The Wit and Wisdom of the Shrink Rapper ™

Ø  Practice Safe Stress:  Healing and Laughing in the Face of Stress, Burnout, and Depression

Ø  The Four Faces of Anger:  Transforming Anger, Rage, and Conflict Into Inspiring Attitude and Behavior

6.  He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop, and retreat leader, having led nearly a thousand programs in the past thirty years for an array of companies, government agencies, non-profits, etc.; areas of specialty include stress resilience/burnout prevention and recovery, conflict and communication skills, transforming loss and change, team building and, most recently, resilient risk-taking and creative leadership; in particular he has led several Pre-Deployment and Post-Deployment Retreat Workshops – “Stress Resilience, Humor, and Team Building” – for various Military Units, especially at Ft. Hood, TX; see testimonials below

7.  In the past five years, he has led a number of resilience-related webinars; for nearly ten years he ran a “Shrink Rap and Group Chat” for AOL; responding rapidly, succinctly, yet meaningfully to participants' Instant Messages (a forerunner of texting) was critical

8.  Living in the DC area since 1990, he has considerable experience with federal, county, and city government agencies; he has collaborated with many EAP programs/professionals

9.  In the ‘90s, he was a Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service; both management and the unions wrote letters of praise regarding his contribution to workforce productivity and morale

10.  For the past three years through the present, he has been doing Critical Incident/Trauma-Grief Intervention Consulting for Business Health Services HQd in Baltimore, MD; and periodically over the past twenty years as an independent contractor, he’s done Critical Incident work for a variety of government agencies; his inspiring manner even emerges in CI work, e.g., after two recent 20-minute critical incident/grief sessions with staff, a Hospital Chaplin commented:  “You had them in the palm of your hands!”

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Stress Resilience Speaking/Training Skills and Tools

1.  He is a dynamic, high energy, and inspiring presenter that helps audiences get more FIT:  his programs are FUN, Interactive, and Thought-provoking; after a program, people often approach commenting on the great energy and ideas; his programs involve and evolve a lively rhythm of group interaction/exercises, take-home ideas and bullets, and Q and A

2.  As many have noted, his ability to integrate skillfully humor and play in programs, even with serious or somber subjects – from speaking to critical interventions – helps him capture people’s attention and his message stand out; as he once penned:  People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor!

3.  The 5- part program illustrates the diversity and range of professional experience as a speaker, workshop/trainer, therapist, stress, critical incident/grief- and team-building consultant, retreat leader, chat group leader/facilitatorauthor and writer.  He has integrated a powerful array of topics for his “Stress Resilience” arsenal:  stress resilience/burnout prevention and recovery, conflict and communication skills, transforming loss and change, team building and, most recently, resilient risk-taking and creative leadership

4.  He is comfortable and experienced working with organizations in both the private and not-for-profit sectors and with audiences of varying sizes – ranging from less than twenty to two hundred or more

5.  His electronic media and public speaking/teaching/writing experience has honed an ability to synthesize and express complex ideas into manageable and memorable concepts and tools; his revision of the old KISS standard:  Keep It Simple and Smart!; from his days in TV and radio, he projects energy and enthusiasm whether he can literally touch an audience member or not

6.  He is adept at facilitating group discussion; in fact he often sees himself as “an orchestra leader, helping others (including teams) bring out their best music”

7.  He is adept at fielding audience questions on the fly; this process often elicits personal-professional (yet appropriate, on point and concise) stories that truly bring to light and life meaningful responses to participants’ questions and concerns

8.  As a workshop and retreat leader, engaging interactive programs along with a facility for “Emotional Intelligence” helps break down communication and status barriers among participants; one military commander noted that after a stress-team building program, during a follow-up meeting, his senior officers and senior sergeants had the most open, least contentious and territorial, and most productive pre-deployment retreat

9.  His substance and style have been noted as supporting and affirming top management’s mission and values

10.  Audiences love his closing:  the Doc’s pioneering effort in the field of psychologically humorous “rap” music – Shrink Rap ™ Productions!

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Wicked "Riffed-Off" Satire and "Reorg Rag" Wit and Wisdom: Dealing with Sequestration Blues

With Sequestration in the ether (whether it is a disorienting, dysfunctional, destructive, or a truly devastating virus remains to be seen), I examined previous writings on significant organizational crises and their aftermaths, e.g., the US Postal Service’s major RIF in the ‘90s and the Enron debacle.  Whether the culture is corporate, government, or congressional one discovers a climate of questionable leadership and “clinging to a sinking ship,” if not criminal ship of state.  Diagnostic similarities abound and the rehabilitation strategies “still apply as time goes by.”

Today, however, raiding the Stress Doc Classics vault, I will share a creative “RIF-fed Off” satire and a witty lyric, “The Reorg Rag.” I believe you might enjoy some emotional relief if not a few laughs.

And finally, if the uncertainty and stress is getting you down, consider this haven of relief:

National Stress-Conflict Resolution-Team Building Expert, Psychohumorist ™, Author, and Retreat Facilitator, The Stress Doc™ (www.stressdoc.com) and rustic yet comfy Rivendell Cabins, Franklin, NC, (http://www.RivendellCabins.com ) teaming up for a Busy Women's Retreat, the weekend of May 3-5, 2013. Recharge in the beautiful Smoky Mtns. Develop Stress Resiliency, Set Healthy Relationship Boundaries, Prevent/Recover from Burnout, Design Work-Life Transitioning, Reconnect to Creative Passion. Share great ideas, emotional support, Yoga classes, Relaxation-Visualization exercises. Three rustic and comfortable cabins; also two cabins with hot tubs. Three meals provided. Space is limited. First time great price of $250. For more info, call 828-349-6087 or 800 994 6462.

And for tweeting:

Retreat Expert, the Stress Doc@aol.com at rustic www.RivendellCabins.com , Franklin, NC to lead rejuvenating Busy Women’s Retreat, May 3-5, 2013.  Info:  828-349-6087

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P.S.  I would like to hear about any impact the Sequestration is having on you personally or organizationally.  Thanks and good luck.

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The "Stress Doc's" Seven Highly Effective Strategies
for Reorganizing or Downsizing

(Warning:  This article may be hazardous to the ironically impaired!)

In this era of organizational restructuring or downsizing, or better still, what I call "fright-sizing," the challenge for top management is having the savvy and courage to gut much of your workforce while maintaining survivor productivity and team morale - that "esprit de corpse."  How do you achieve this higher standard of reorganization?

To create a "lean-and-MEAN" working machine requires a visionary management team capable of jolting a downtrodden, demotivated workforce while being "hands on" role models. (In these hypersensitive, politically correct times, just be careful where you place those hands.) Here are your cutting edge commandments.  Go for it!

1. Keep Employees Grateful and Humble. Continuously remind employee survivors they should be thankful to have a job. By not filling those vacant positions there's less competition for eventual promotions. For cynical, insufficiently grateful employees, some cheerfully designed signs - THANK YOU FOR NOT WHINING and BEWARE THE EFFECTS OF SECOND-HAND WHINING - may be displayed around the office.

2. Avoid Negative Feelings through Positive Motivation. Hire a hot shot outplacement team to motivate people to ignore their feelings of betrayal, fear and rage and to generate positive thinking about updating the resume and applying for an out of state position. Reassure vulnerable employees that they probably needed a new learning curve, anyway.

3. Separate the Transitionally Displaced. Create a transition center to sharpen career path focus for the dispirited that no longer have a job, but are still on payroll.  While isolated from company personnel, this center is not a leper colony. (Despite evidence to the contrary, the displaced are not contagious.)

4. Beware the Group "Blame Game." Refuse to have management-employee team building/group grieving sessions; open expression of feelings just makes management the target of "another petty gripe session."

If absolutely necessary, allow a small matrix group to meet sporadically to provide only positive ideas and buy-in for your ever evolving company vision (or is it hallucination?; so often it's such a fine line). In any event, retire the group with gilded, framed team building certificates.

5. Don't Be Predictable. Keep information about the restructuring as vague and inconsistent as possible. In fact, the more disinformation the better. Uncertainty heightens group competition and, hopefully, will disorient your best people and/or intimidate them from leaving.

Simultaneously, rapidly fill some slots of the departed, well-respected managers. People don't need to dwell morbidly on the past. This transition-transfusion provides some new blood, figuratively speaking, hopefully.

6. Instill the Spirit of Overload and Accommodation. Middle managers and supervisors must appear to accept cheerfully all new work assignments, even if their employees are at the breaking point. Low morale, heightened staff tension and anger or stress-induced illness are not sufficient counterindicators to "sucking it up." (Cardiac arrest, however, continues to be grounds for excused leave.)

Remember, a manager, who selflessly takes on an ever-expanding workload without renegotiating priorities and time frames is an icon of company loyalty.  Such a self-sacrificing individual should be awarded two extra sick days.

7. Retreat Reorganizationally from Reality.  Avoid a sustained relationship with a consultant trained in reorganizational crisis, conflict, loss and grief work as this intervention always gets so touchy-feely. (You know what happens.  Folks don’t just draw on each other for emotional support and problem-solving ideas.  Invariably, people start wanting to hug one another. Ugh!)

However, do hire a dynamic, "let it all hang out" group leader who guarantees to resolve all your work-relations problems on a weekend retreat. Still, if you dismiss the retreat approach, there is a safe, effective image enhancing option:  send a couple of key personnel on a 3-day "team building" workshop. Then you can answer "affirmative" if anyone asks whether yours is a team-based operation.

In conclusion, if you or your management team has the courage and foresight to enact one or more of these cutting edge strategies, please let me know. As a reorganizational consultant, I aspire to work with such a visionary, progressively "lean-and-MEAN" upper management team. I understand loneliness at the top. And believe me, you'll need all the help you can get!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc is also leading “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com.

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The Reorg Rag (with apologies to no one)

By Mark Gorkin, LICSW, “The Stress Doc” ™

 

It can’t happen here, I have too much to do…

Who took my desk and chair, my computer, too?
They can’t replace me; the Branch Techno-file
What do you mean I’m still in denial?

Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,

Why does it feel I’ve been fragged?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
Maybe I’m just on a jag.
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
I’m still on the Reorg Rag!
 

Rejoice, you’re employed…so they’ve frozen your pay

And put on your backs the recovery.
Two free weeks furlough to re-“leave” your stress
What a friend you have in the 112^th Congress!

Work’s now a casino, a high tech RIF** RAFFle

When will we know?  Why does management waffle?
Buddha Computah… who’s pink slipping away?
Here’s your ticket to ride; shopping’s good in Bombay.
 

Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag

Why do I just want to gag?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
Whatever happened to my swag?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag
I’m still on the Reorg Rag!
 

You’ll “Do more with less,” when “There’s no ‘I’ in team”

So “Dress for Success,” then become “lean-and-Mean.”
Keep reading those posters, your glass is half full
Though, beware “going postal” in the face of this bull.

Ignore the slacker; just take up his load

Put in for a transfer; oops, no off ramp for this road.

The boss is a bully; the “Old Boys” turn an eye

You’re getting an ulcer – such a “nice gal or guy.”
 

Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag

Why has life become a drag?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag
Should I raise that white flag?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag
I’m still on the Reorg Rag!
 

Now you’ve had enough, playing Raggedy Ann

Start calling their bluff; draw a line in the sand.
You are a survivor; just never forget
To bring out your “Inner Rambo or Rambette!”

So “Do know your limits; don’t limit your ‘No’s”
There’s life beyond widgets; you’ve taken their blows.
Break away from the mob, you’ve surpassed your quota
And have won your job…but now in North Dakota!

Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,

Once again in a trick bag.
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
Back into the old gulag
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
I’m still on the Reorg Rag.
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
Forever on the Reorg Rag!
 

**RIF = Reduction In Force

© Mark Gorkin  2010

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc is also leading “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com.

Loss, Ghosts, and the Stages of Grief -- Part II: Grieve, Let Go, and Grow with the Flow!

Current writings about grief and ghosts have enabled the Stress Doc to appreciate parallels between burnout and his newly conceived and coined burn-in. This essay will connect emotional losses that linger and loiter and the negative energy that sows shadowy ghostly seeds. Both conditions are impacted by feelings of loss and unrecognized grief which provide a crucible for the gestation of a spectral presence the Doc calls “Grief Ghosts.” Comparing and contrasting the two concepts will help individuals and companies better understand how both burnout and burn-in can set in motion an “erosive spiral” that undermines: a) personal health and motivational focus, b) interpersonal communication, connection, and cooperation, as well as c) team and system productivity. Are you and your company or organization ready for some Workplace Griefbusting?


Loss, Ghosts, and the Stages of Grief -- Part II:
Grieve, Let Go, and Grow with the Flow!

Thinking about loss factors and being a member of that AA group, Alliterations Anonymous, I couldn’t help but coin the “Eight Dramatic-Depressive ‘D’s” – Death, Disability, Defeat, Damage, Dysfunction, Disillusionment, Disruption, and Disorientation. The “D”s are significant events or experiences infused with bio-psycho-social and/or economic loss. When they are cursorily connected to or disconnected from the process of grief then psychic ground is being laid for restless and roaming if not haunting post-traumatic reverberations. Over time, this hovering, lingering, loitering sense of loss, still not acknowledged or embraced, more often shunned, morphs into alienated grief, or what I call grief ghosts. Burn-in grief ghosts sit heavy on many people’s minds and bodies, hearts and souls. (Actually, in light of the number of Boomers who are showing signs of dysfunctional cognitive deficit, I’m on the verge of expanding my “D” list to include premature Dementia. Causing so many levels of loss, this disease is especially haunting for the individual still aware of its debilitating and dependency-inducing effects and, of course, for family members in caretaker roles.)

Let me illustrate some recently encountered “grief ghosts” in my Grief Counselor role for a young government employee and father instantly killed in a “head on” vehicular collision on the way to work. (A big truck crossed over a highway dividing line.) While the employee’s tragic death was the immediate catalyst for the request for a consultation, many of the folks encountered were on what I call the emo-existential edge because of their own long-lasting, lumbering ghosts. A common yet psychologically complex and multifaceted shadow now brought to light was the ghost of stormy marital or intimate relationship past, even one of seemingly ancient history – especially when tensions and tearing down had eventually become a staple of the relationship. Not only were many searing memories connected to the loss-divorce of a spouse or mate who invariably defied simply being loved or detested, but loss involved both the loss of one’s role and identity as a partner, that state of disruption and disorientation. Actually, research indicates it’s harder to emotionally grieve the death of a spouse from a troubled marriage than a mate from a healthier one, perhaps because the interaction of the former was a breeding ground for an array of disturbing ghosts.

In addition, even family of origin voices, often of an all too familiar and manipulative nature – that game-playing, blaming, or shaming variety – may once again overtly reverberate in this volatile land- and mindscape’s “echo-system.” Not surprisingly, this relationship rupture was frequently a shock to a person’s core self-image. And when lingering and especially long-standing, festering subterranean grief collides with crisis tremors, there’s a spectral outpouring of mythic-like effect. Akin to a band of vultures spewed from the bowels of the earth, myriad ghosts arise and circle ominously on a now haunted horizon.

A Swarm of Ghosts: Case Vignette

During the above workplace crisis/grief debriefing, one County Supervisor quickly conjured up multiple ghosts from differing time periods. Interestingly, as I was wandering the office halls, making myself visible, this Supervisor was trying to convince a colleague to have a grief debriefing session with me. Not surprisingly, I had to track her down in her office before she would agree to talk. The first riveting revelation was of an older sister killed in the 9/11 World Center attack. The violent death of her colleague likely heightened the connection to her sister’s horrific demise. Her eyes quickly watered; not surprisingly she expressed surprise. But for me most noteworthy, alas, as many are wont to do, she was also apologetic for her overflow. Which begs the question: Why do so many apologize when they unexpectedly cry? My hypothesis is that: a) the bereaved individual feels it is a sign of weakness, that is, she should have basically “gotten over it” by now, b) believes he or she is imposing their vulnerability upon or discomforting the other party, or c) the bereaved individual believes the other person views the crying as a sign of weakness; of course, this assumption may be correct, however, it may also be a projection. (In fact, crying is your emotional wellspring. When crying out of hurt, fear, or sadness (or even joy) the mind-body becomes a safety valve and cleansing process; emotional tears not only let off pressure and tension but also literally flush out accumulated stress toxins.)

This woman also recalled the stormy interaction and termination of a troubled marriage, its impact on the kids, as well as her decision to retrain professionally, eventually uprooting from family in New Jersey to take her current job in Maryland. Another reason for her volatility was that just a few days before, a somewhat close friend in his late 50s died of a heart attack. And when I asked if she had anyone to talk to at work or on the outside regarding her litany of losses, she shook her head. Over the years, the advice received from most people was, “It’s time you got over it.” Clearly, her support system was on the verge of extinction; all work and little play seemed to be sowing low grade depression. After explaining the propensity for past pain to be dredged up by crisis, I made three suggestions: a) keep grappling with the ghosts, there’s no time line for “getting over it,” b) “fight for what you need” (a mantra that she insisted would shine forth from her screensaver), and c) consider some brief EAP counseling to help with a) and b).

Connecting Loss, Transition, and “The Stages of Grief”

As sad and tragic as they are, the unexpected deaths of her friend and of her colleague have also provided a poignant opportunity to open the Pandora’s Box of grief. And while numerous furies rush out, invariably sowing some chaos in their turbulent draft, many forget that the final spirit out of the box was “hope.” So consider this Stress Doc mantra: Grieve, let go, and grow with the flow!

From a common sense perspective, grief is “the cause (and expression) of intense, deep, and profound sorrow, and other strong emotional outpourings involving a specific event or situation” (Encarta Dictionary) triggered by a significant loss or disruptive change. We often connect loss and grief via the premature death, incapacitation, or separation of a parent, child, grandparent, sibling, or any close relative, friend, or colleague. However, as sketched in Part I, grief may be a byproduct of broad array of experiential and psychological losses and transitions. Particularly when the death, damage, defeat, disability, disillusionment, disruption, or disorientation (or even acknowledged dementia), is sudden or unexpected, this triggers or sets the psychological platform for a grief reaction or response. At minimum, the individual is often thrown into an early grief state-stage, such as “shock” or “denial.”

The critical question regarding a grief process is the degree to which an individual gradually and meaningfully navigates or superficially and dismissively circumvents the various stages. Do you periodically visit and revisit (or shun and block out) the complex of emotions and memories surrounding a major or significant loss? Do you admit the daily impact of diminished mind-body functioning and grieve what was in order to adapt to and explore new potential and possibilities? Does the individual over time pursue in depth journeying (from group sharing to personal reflection-journaling) or avoidance and distraction (or maladaptive numbing)? The answer will likely either generate grief growth or germinate grief ghosts.

I will use the timely theme of job/career disruption for illustrating the “Stages of Grief” and the process of grappling with the psychological component of change, i.e., the threat, loss, and challenge of “transition.” Here are:

The Stress Doc's Stages of Grief: Discovering Purpose and Possibility in Trying Times

With all the uncertainty and stress in our economic-job climate (not to mention natural and man-made disasters), most of us can use a refresher on how to grapple with loss and change, how to have the courage to both persist and to let go, how to transform the present danger into opportunity...how to grow stronger, wiser, and better supported-connected through genuine grief.

As I once penned:

For the Phoenix to rise from the ashes
One must know the pain
To transform the fire to burning desire!

A soon-to-be author on motivation and dealing with stress from a break-up emailed asking if he could cite the essay below, which especially looks at job loss, career transition-confusion, and uncertainty. So here are "The Stress Doc’s Seven Stages of Grief":

1. Shock and Denial or “This Is Not Possible” or "It Can't Happen Here!" It's no big surprise when given one day's termination notice that an employee may experience a state of shock. There's such total confusion and disbelief that a person often goes numb; the mind-body system has to shut down. Sometimes shock follows the downplaying or denial of bad news. For example, in the early '90s, there was talk of significant restructuring in the US Postal Service. A number of employees took the early attitude: "We're always dealing with change here…No big deal." Alas, these folks didn't count on "Carvin Marvin" Runyon becoming the Postmaster General. Talk about a shocker...Within a year 50,000 employees were restructured out of the service!

2. Fear, Panic and Shame or "Oh God, What Do I Do Now?" or “What Will They Think Now?” Once the shock wears off, you are no longer numb; there are some predictable next steps, such as profound anxiety and vulnerability: how will I survive this loss of income, identity, my daily routine, my social standing, etc.? There's a mounting sense of being out of control, which for many also evokes feelings of shame and inadequacy. And lack of control, not surprisingly, can stir up childhood memories of the same, being or feeling tormented, bullied, rejected or humiliated by family, peers, teachers, etc.

I vividly recall the lamentation of a postal supervisor on a management fast-track, quickly derailed by reorganization: "I once had a career path. Then this boulder fell from the sky and crushed it!" Is it only a career path that's been crushed? How about the human psyche and spirit? Has it too been burnt up or burned out?

3. Rage and/or Helplessness or "How Dare They!" or "Oh No, How Could They!" Do you think our once fast-tracked supervisor is feeling abandoned and betrayed? Most likely. Often people in this phase swing between rage and profound sadness. Both states can be induced by deep underlying vulnerability or helplessness. You've been wounded, feel exposed, and just want to lash out. Or you turn the rage inward in depression and self-condemnation. Now it's crawling under the covers escapism, or going through the motions of living or, even, straining as hard as you can to reign victorious over your basic unworthiness; to battle a fear of failure and lurking dread of being sucked into that compelling black hole of helplessness.

Consider this: in The Random House Dictionary: The Unabridged Edition, the first six definitions of the word "failure" describe it as an act or an instance. It's not until the seventh and last definition that "failure" takes a personal direction. So losing a job or being confronted with other losses and separations are often more events or individual episodes, albeit powerful ones, than a judgment upon you.

4. Guilt and Ambivalence or "Damned If You Do or If You Don't!" or “Making a Pact with the...Spiritual.” The feelings and old voices of guilt (not living up to an important other's expectations or standards) and shame (violating or compromising an internalized core value or essential part of your self-identity, integrity, and esteem) can become louder and more incessant; self-directed rage keeps taunting you for shortcomings, unworthiness, fumbled dreams, etc., and can ultimately drain and demoralize you. If some energy returns or remains the battle may continue in other arenas. First, the classic approach-avoidance conflict: "Damned if I do, damned if I don't; damned if I stay, damned if I leave." Take the paltry severance or not; leave the faulty marriage or not. And while the uncertainty is terribly frustrating, at least there's a struggle. It’s no longer “black or white”: you are not simply “evil.”

Some may turn to a spiritual source for relief or rescue: "Higher Power, just tell me what to do" or "Higher Power, I turn it over to you." And, of course, some in desperation will proclaim newfound or "born again" allegiance if they are only saved. Yet, in the end, with or without your HP, one must get focused and cut the entangling emotional cord.

5. Focused Anger and Letting Go or "Turning a Lemon into Lemonade" and "Freedom's Just Another Word…" This phase truly reveals the complexity and potential creative energy built into the grief process. To reach that powerful, purposeful, and passionate state of focused anger one must often blend (and temper) rage with sadness. Some rage can propel us out of a shocked, paralyzed or ambivalent state. Yet, you must also face your sadness and loss and struggle with uncertainty to temper uncontrollable aggression, to make sadder yet wiser assessments and decisions. Remember, rage unchecked much more often leads to self-defeating behavior, e.g., “shooting your self in the foot” or “putting that proverbial foot in mouth” than it does to "Going Postal!"

If you've worked hard to integrate the previous stages then the reward is "focused anger": "I really don't like what's happened…but how do I make the best of it?" You're ready to loosen – if not untie – the knot of hurt and humiliation. And best of all, you're getting ready to knock on (maybe even knock down) some doors again.

6. Exploration and New Identity or "Now You're Ready to 'Just Do It!'" (even if scared). Letting go is often unnerving. It's not just the financial security that's at stake. But losing a job or a vital relationship also profoundly shakes our personal/professional identity. We've invested so much time, ego, energy, and/or money in this position, partner, or one possible outcome…Who am I without the job, without my mate or significant other? Even with the most dear and painful loss or separation, the words of Albert Camus, Nobel Prize-winning author and philosopher have the crystalline ring of essential truth:

Once we have accepted the fact of loss we understand that the loved one [or loved position] obstructed a whole corner of the possible, pure now as a sky washed by rain.

7. Acceptance or "The Glass is Half Empty and Half Full." While submerging yourself in the stages of grief for a time will feel hellish, there truly is an opportunity for rebirth. Getting out of the black box is a distinct possibility if you can ride on and ride out this acutely emotional learning roller coaster. The grief encounter is definitely more than a one-trial learning curve. And there's no absolute or fixed period of time for your movement through the stages. My blood starts percolating when I hear "well-intentioned" family members, colleagues, or friends say to the grieved, "Hey, it's been three months (or even six months) already." (On the other hand, if after two or three months, your energy level continues to drain away, don't suffer in silence. Grief and depression can be easily confused as loss and sadness are common to both. One possible differentiating factor to consider: depression often involves internalized anger, and the energy needed to hold down an angry eruption further contributes to an exhausted-depressed state. During a grief process one’s anger, whether rational or not, is eventually acknowledged, the “cause” of the anger is more objectively if not forgivingly perceived. Aggressive energy is eventually transformed into more purposeful if not passionate focus and direction. Speak to a health professional wise in the ways of grief, burnout, and/or depression.)

Finally, remember, there's a real difference between "feeling sorry for yourself" and "feeling your sorrow." When feeling sorry for yourself you are mostly blaming others. When feeling your sorrow you are demonstrating the courage to face your fears and pain. There are poignant moments in life when we all must take time to embrace our sorrow, both alone and with caring or kindred spirits. As I once penned, reflecting on more than one soul shaking grief process: Whether the loss is a key person, a desired position or a powerful illusion each deserves the respect of a mourning. The pit in the stomach, the clenched fists and quivering jaw, the anguished sobs prove catalytic in time. In mystical fashion, like spring upon winter, the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful renewal.

Part III will examine key existential questions that have bearing on the development of and recovery from both burnout and burn-in. Until then…Practice Safe Stress!


Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a Team Building and Organizational Development Consultant as well as a Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Expert for Business Health Services, a National EAP/OD Company. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also had a rotation as Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.