Today’s world is 24/7, wired and always on and often cycling between upgrading and reorganizing--if not outsourcing and downsizing. And as company mantras become “do more with less,” it’s no surprise that more and more people are struggling with job stress and burnout.
The Erosive Spiral
The classic set-up for burnout is a professional or personal situation that places high ongoing demands and responsibilities upon you while restricting your sense of control, autonomy and/or authority. Inflexibly high expectations and elusive goals only add fuel to the fire. Consider this: If, no matter what you do or how hard you try, results, rewards, recognition and relief are not forthcoming and you can’t say and mean “no” or won’t let go, trouble awaits. The groundwork is laid for apathy, callousness and despair.
Burnout is a gradual process by which a person detaches from work and other significant roles and relationships in response to excessive and prolonged stress and mental, physical and emotional strain. The result is lowered productivity, cynicism and confusion--a feeling of being drained and having nothing more to give.
The Four Stages of Burnout
Physical, mental and emotional exhaustion is the first stage of burnout. Do you recognize this sequence? Maybe you are still holding it together at work, but as soon as you get home you go right for the fridge, turn on the TV, hit the sofa and are comatose for the rest of the evening. Normally you pride yourself on doing a thorough job. But budget cuts have you looking for shortcuts, if not cutting corners, and this gnaws at your self-esteem. A case of the “brain strain” is developing, accompanied by an energy shortage and feelings of exhaustion.
Shame and doubt manifest themselves in the second stage of burnout. For example, if your supervisor asks you to take on a new assignment your first reaction is to be helpful, but suddenly a voice inside screams, “Are you kidding?” You’re feeling shaky in the present and losing confidence about managing the future--you can even start discounting past accomplishments. Remember, this is not a logical process but a psychological one.
Cynicism and callousness are how people often respond to feeling vulnerable. They put their guard up and look out for No. 1. In the short run this strategy may work, but over time this hard exterior can become a heavy burden. Remember, burnout is less a sign of failure and more a sign that you gave yourself away. Not surprisingly, you can become resentful and feel that people are taking advantage of you. Sensitive individuals begin developing calloused skin for self-protection.
This stage of burnout doesn’t just facilitate a hardening of the psyche. When your stress starts to smolder and turns to frustration and anger it can lead to a hardening of the arteries. High blood pressure, hypertension, cardiovascular complications, even heart attacks and strokes are potential health risks.
Failure, helplessness and crisis are symptoms of the fourth stage of burnout. And while it sounds terrible, consider this: hitting bottom means there’s no more downward spiral. And if you can reach out, there’s nowhere to go but up. Being caught in a career catch-22 often signals the final stage. Burnout is like trying to run a marathon at full speed. Without pacing, the body parts wear out, and the mental apparatus breaks down. In fact, one reason the fourth stage is so disorienting psychologically is that there are cracks in your defensive armor.
Fourth-stage burnout is the crisis point. Are you ready to reach out for the help and resources you need? A person recovers and expands his or her strengths and possibilities by:
Getting proper support from a professional trained in crisis intervention and loss;
Confronting denial, false hopes, cynicism and helplessness;
Grieving past and present losses, while turning guilt, anxiety and aggression into focused energy; and
Acquiring skills and technology for transforming new awareness and motivation.
Rehabilitation and Rejuvenation
While the erosive spiral of burnout is dangerous, it also provides opportunity for growth. I know from personal experience. Back in the 1980s, I was an unrealistic doctoral student. Low self-esteem and determination to silence critics and doubters had me trying to turn a mystical-like experience in psychoanalysis into a doctoral dissertation. For the sake of brevity, let’s just say I was definitely off the ivy-covered wall. And for several months, I was sidelined by exhaustion, existential emptiness and frightening, stress-induced dizzy spells. Fortunately, a silver lining emerged from the academic ashes. I became an expert on stress and burnout eventually evolving a self-care, recovery and prevention process.
It took several months of grieving and tending to mind-body wounds to recover. I needed to know that significant others still loved and respected me despite my feelings of academic failure. You may need a mentor or a counselor to reconfirm your pre-crisis identity; to help you see strengths when you are fixated on your weaknesses. And the earlier one can begin grieving and “letting go,” the easier for emotional catharsis to become a tool for rebuilding healthy purpose and passion.
As I once penned: For the Phoenix to rise from the ashes, one must know the pain. To transform the fire to burning desire!
Four Rs of Burnout Recovery
Running – Get moving with 30-40 minutes of exercise, such as jogging, brisk walking, cycling or swimming, which will get those disposition-enhancing endorphins pumping. The chemical influx helps slow a racing mind and helps lift a sluggish mood. There’s a beginning and end point for a tangible sense of control and accomplishment. Your routine becomes a success ritual fueling burnout recovery.
Reading – Turn to humorous novels or cartoon books to add some absurdity, if not levity, to your perspective. Hearty laughter also releases endorphins, giving vital organs a brief but vigorous internal massage.
Retreating – Take time to reflect on this ego- and identity-shattering experience and answer some of the big, existential questions: What are my skills, gifts and talents? What are my emotional, knowledge and learning gaps? The blank canvas is scary--but also exciting. To paraphrase poet Walt Whitman: Follow the open road and discover or recover your soul.
Writing - Research indicates that taking the time to express and analyze your emotions through writing provides a stress-relieving anchor in a stormy, troubled sea. Reflective writing can also be a source of self-discovery--a tool for your healing, understanding and action.
Shake Things Up
Rebuilding may involve shaking up the personal-professional puzzle, exploring anew or even returning to one’s passionate roots. This might include job or career path changes.
Restructure current roles and responsibilities; work in another department or division.
Take a sabbatical or travel.
Consult independently or work for a foundation, an association or an institute.
Go back to school to pursue a heartfelt interest, or even return to the classroom as an educator.
Go into business for yourself or, if you’re self-employed and running on empty, join a company.
Recover a previous creative pursuit and turn it into a career path or, perhaps, balance a job with a passionate hobby.
Pursue a different professional setting or field or a new geographical location.
Burnout Prevention Strategies
Burnout evokes an experience of loss--from loss of control or abandoning a cherished goal to a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. However, wrestling with loss often yields renewed energy and transitional possibilities.
To reduce chronic stress and prevent burnout, the Stress Doc prescribes "Natural SPEED."
Sleep – While recent research questions the health benefits of excessive sleep (more than eight hours) a pattern of less than six hours for most people yields a loss of mental sharpness. Also, sleep research supports brief napping (10 to 40 minutes) during the day for mind-body rejuvenation.
Priorities – Focus on the essentials when trying to be productive. To meet expectations and to achieve goals, it’s often vital to establish limits and set boundaries. Learn to say no and to negotiate. Tactfully yet assertively discuss what’s urgent versus what’s important.
Empathy – Listening to or supporting others can be stress relieving, just make sure the shoulder lending is not a one-way transaction. At work and/or in your home life, have at least one stress buddy with whom you can let your hair down.
Exercise – The benefit of regular exercise is both physical and psychological. Thirty minutes of vigorous activity releases endorphins--natural mood enhancers and pain relievers in the brain. Also, when everything feels up in the air, an exercise regimen provides a tangible sense of accomplishment and control -- a "success ritual."
Diet – A diet high in saturated fats (red meat, high-fat dairy) and simple sugars (sodas, cookies and excessive chocolate) induces drowsiness and mental torpor, not to mention clogged arteries. And too much alcohol and caffeine is a roller coaster headache--moodiness or depression often follows aggression and agitation. Balancing protein, fruits and vegetables, complex carbs, grains, nuts and plenty of water is vital for optimal energy and alertness along with cardiovascular health.
Psychological Hardiness
Psychological hardiness is a concept developed by Dr. Suzanne Kobasa and her research team while studying the health of AT&T executives during the stressful breakup of “Ma Bell.” Some execs were having a hard time physically and emotionally, while others were coping effectively with the transitional storm. The hardiest executives demonstrated what I call the Four C’s of Psychological Hardiness.
Commitment – While not happy about the major restructuring and resulting turbulence, the hardiest executives did not give up; they were determined to do quality work. They also had a life outside the office and received support from family, friends, colleagues and spiritual activities, as well as from hobbies. Hobbies allow you to take time out and to stimulate and nurture yourself.
Control – The hardy execs also had a realistic sense of control and less rigid need to wield it. They understood the necessity of giving up some turf positions and status posturing. Letting go of your cherished territory often provides a new vantage point for strategically surveying the emergent big picture.
Change – The hardy individuals had a realistic attitude toward change. For them, change was a natural part of life, not something to be resisted. Even when facing unpleasant or unhappy changes, they quickly grappled with their emotions. They grieved the loss of their familiar world, and then prepared themselves for the new or unknown. With this enlightened perspective, change was more a stepping-stone than a stumbling block.
Conditioning – Finally, the most hardy of the execs engaged in regular aerobic exercise or physical conditioning. Why is it so critical? As we’ve seen, not only does exercise help you stay fit, manage your weight and improve your cardiovascular health, but it also releases mood-lifting endorphins, a good antidote to mild feelings of agitation and/or depression. Also, when everything’s up in the air--you can’t seem to close any projects or sales or meet elusive deadlines--structured exercise provides a self-defined beginning and endpoint.
When you add natural SPEED to your routine and emulate the hardiest executives, you will have established a work world and a lifestyle that is balanced, has boundaries and also is bursting with energy. You have an awareness and action plan that prevents stress smoke signals from smoldering and erupting into that burnout fire. You will have truly learned how to "Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Logical and Psychological Approaches to Goal Setting
In an uncertain, rapidly changing climate, goals often are as slippery and mercurial as they are critical. They often defy short-term definition let alone engagement and capture. And survival reality is simple, if not stark: key aspects of conventional goal-setting strategy must adapt or become outmoded and out-dated.
Ironically, the approach needed may involve getting out of your “success” goal box. Remember, sometimes reflexively relying on our niche of success (if not resting on our laurels) ultimately can have you stuck in the ditch of excess. How do you negotiate this critical crossroad?
Frequently, the challenge is to move outside your comfort zone, explore the new or transitional landscape (and mindscape) and to “Confront Your Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure.” Consider these steps for blending rational goal-setting and creative risk-taking, four keys to “The Art of Designing Disorder”:
1. Aware-ily Jump in Over Your Head. When it come to productive risk-taking, don’t “Just do it!” Notice the above neologism: “Aware-ily” – a mix of aware and warily. Still, sometimes the only way to truly test the temperature and water current is to finally jump in. (Of course, as we’d say in the bayou, first check for alligators.) The value of emersion is that you quickly learn your strengths along with gaps in social and technical resources, skills, emotional hardiness and experience. You will likely have to dance with performance anxiety and feelings of loss of control. And while often humbling, taking the plunge surely sharpens focus and imaginative gifts while motivating maximum survival effort.
2. Strive to Survive the High Dive. While there are no guarantees, here are four survival measures:
a. Strive high and embrace failure. Forego perfectionist voices and fantasies; see so-called failure as the temporary gap and transitional space between an ideal state and your present reality. Of course, for failure to motivate progress, distinguish among high expectation, vision and hallucination.
b. Develop a realistic time frame. Remember, establishing a beachhead doesn’t mean you’ve conquered the island; recognize that many battles are fought and lost before a major undertaking is won
c. Be tenaciously honest. If the pressure is getting to you, come up for air and for an ear. Continuously assess the impact of actions and outcomes, the changes within yourself and your environment, and the rules underlying your operation.
d. Establish a support system. Risk-takers definitely need some TLC: “Tender Loving Criticism” and “Tough Loving Care” for staying the labyrinthine course, managing the stress of edgy living (“Hey, if you’re not living on the edge you’re taking up way too much space”), and for bathing psychic, if not physical wounds.
3. Thrive On Thrustration. Become more problem-minded, not just solution-oriented; don’t rush to judgment. Be a psychic volcano. For awhile, tolerate the conflict between thrusting ahead with direct action and frustration, that fertile state yet volatile state of “thrustration.” Heightened pressure and a “no exit” challenge can shake the habituated, settled mind. And then, learn to let go. With these steps you are feeding the creative fires and priming the imaginative, emotive and visual right hemisphere of your brain. So take an “incubation vacation” to hatch a new perspective. Be ready for an upsurge of repressed memories, novel images and associations and, possibly, an “Aha!” explosion. Remember, problems are not just sources of tension and frustration, but are opportunities for integrating the past and the present, the conscious and the unconscious, the obscure and the obvious. Here lies creative perspective.
4. Design for Error and Opportunity. Innovative and risk-taking individuals and organizations are more attuned to a range of possibilities than to “one right way” or rigidly ideal goals. These systems initiate action without absolute predesign predictability and prefer experimentation to preoccupation over imperfection. Having the courage to flounder through a sea of novelty and confusion often yields new connections, long-range mastery and an uncommon big picture. A narrow, safe course creates the illusion of achievement and short-lived control. Of course, limited predesign means opportunity for errors. In open people and systems, startup misplays are vital signs for self-correcting and self-challenging feedback.
With these keys in mind, a closing message, if not passage, for valuing both the destination and the journey:
Remember, errors of judgment or design rarely consign one to a state of incompetence; they more likely reveal inexperience or immaturity, perhaps even boldness. Our so-called "failures" can be channeled as guiding streams (okay, sometimes raging rivers) of opportunity and experience that ultimately enrich – widen, deepen and expand – the risk-taking passage...If we can just immerse ourselves in these unpredictably roiling yet so often rejuvenating waters.
Here’s to double-edged and cutting-edged goal setting!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Ironically, the approach needed may involve getting out of your “success” goal box. Remember, sometimes reflexively relying on our niche of success (if not resting on our laurels) ultimately can have you stuck in the ditch of excess. How do you negotiate this critical crossroad?
Frequently, the challenge is to move outside your comfort zone, explore the new or transitional landscape (and mindscape) and to “Confront Your Intimate FOE: Fear of Exposure.” Consider these steps for blending rational goal-setting and creative risk-taking, four keys to “The Art of Designing Disorder”:
1. Aware-ily Jump in Over Your Head. When it come to productive risk-taking, don’t “Just do it!” Notice the above neologism: “Aware-ily” – a mix of aware and warily. Still, sometimes the only way to truly test the temperature and water current is to finally jump in. (Of course, as we’d say in the bayou, first check for alligators.) The value of emersion is that you quickly learn your strengths along with gaps in social and technical resources, skills, emotional hardiness and experience. You will likely have to dance with performance anxiety and feelings of loss of control. And while often humbling, taking the plunge surely sharpens focus and imaginative gifts while motivating maximum survival effort.
2. Strive to Survive the High Dive. While there are no guarantees, here are four survival measures:
a. Strive high and embrace failure. Forego perfectionist voices and fantasies; see so-called failure as the temporary gap and transitional space between an ideal state and your present reality. Of course, for failure to motivate progress, distinguish among high expectation, vision and hallucination.
b. Develop a realistic time frame. Remember, establishing a beachhead doesn’t mean you’ve conquered the island; recognize that many battles are fought and lost before a major undertaking is won
c. Be tenaciously honest. If the pressure is getting to you, come up for air and for an ear. Continuously assess the impact of actions and outcomes, the changes within yourself and your environment, and the rules underlying your operation.
d. Establish a support system. Risk-takers definitely need some TLC: “Tender Loving Criticism” and “Tough Loving Care” for staying the labyrinthine course, managing the stress of edgy living (“Hey, if you’re not living on the edge you’re taking up way too much space”), and for bathing psychic, if not physical wounds.
3. Thrive On Thrustration. Become more problem-minded, not just solution-oriented; don’t rush to judgment. Be a psychic volcano. For awhile, tolerate the conflict between thrusting ahead with direct action and frustration, that fertile state yet volatile state of “thrustration.” Heightened pressure and a “no exit” challenge can shake the habituated, settled mind. And then, learn to let go. With these steps you are feeding the creative fires and priming the imaginative, emotive and visual right hemisphere of your brain. So take an “incubation vacation” to hatch a new perspective. Be ready for an upsurge of repressed memories, novel images and associations and, possibly, an “Aha!” explosion. Remember, problems are not just sources of tension and frustration, but are opportunities for integrating the past and the present, the conscious and the unconscious, the obscure and the obvious. Here lies creative perspective.
4. Design for Error and Opportunity. Innovative and risk-taking individuals and organizations are more attuned to a range of possibilities than to “one right way” or rigidly ideal goals. These systems initiate action without absolute predesign predictability and prefer experimentation to preoccupation over imperfection. Having the courage to flounder through a sea of novelty and confusion often yields new connections, long-range mastery and an uncommon big picture. A narrow, safe course creates the illusion of achievement and short-lived control. Of course, limited predesign means opportunity for errors. In open people and systems, startup misplays are vital signs for self-correcting and self-challenging feedback.
With these keys in mind, a closing message, if not passage, for valuing both the destination and the journey:
Remember, errors of judgment or design rarely consign one to a state of incompetence; they more likely reveal inexperience or immaturity, perhaps even boldness. Our so-called "failures" can be channeled as guiding streams (okay, sometimes raging rivers) of opportunity and experience that ultimately enrich – widen, deepen and expand – the risk-taking passage...If we can just immerse ourselves in these unpredictably roiling yet so often rejuvenating waters.
Here’s to double-edged and cutting-edged goal setting!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
The Definition and Evolution of Professional Wisdom: The Paths and Processes of Mentoring and Meandering
By Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the “Stress Doc” ™
[Adapted from my article first published in PCMA Capital Chapter, The Chatter, June 2003]
While exploring a theme during an association committee meeting, two thought-provoking questions were posed: What is “professional wisdom” and how does one gain the same? The Webster’s Third New International Dictionary helps launch an investigation. To summarize, as an adjective, “professional” refers to an individual engaged in an occupation requiring a high level of training and proficiency. The role is characterized by technical and/or ethical standards, such that this individual demonstrates a fine artistry or workmanship based on education, the application of sound knowledge, conscientiousness and experience.
“Wisdom” seemingly emerges from a professional foundation or, at least, reaches some maturity through “hard-earned,” growing pains process or journey that enriches both the head and the heart. Wisdom is:
1) Accumulated information or lore, or instinctive adaptation;
2) The intelligent application of learning; that is, the ability to discern inner qualities and essential relationships; and,
3) Characterized by integrity and character.
Perhaps Benjamin Franklin said it best: “The mouth of a wise man is in his heart.”
Now that we have defined our terms, let’s identify two wisdom-generating paths and processes – “mentoring” and “meandering.” While posited separately, clearly, these “M & M”s can come together and nourish a life journey. And, like everything else, overdosing on these “M & M”s can have consequences:
1. Mentoring. Most of us can think of a knowledgeable and understanding, more senior supervisor or colleague (or relative, teacher, coach, therapist, etc.) who took us under his or her wing. This individual shared ideas and preached from experience, helped us bathe wounds or got us back on our feet during or after daunting learning curve trials. He or she also provided practical shortcuts based on greater time on the battle lines. For many, this person becomes a role model significantly influencing both our professional substance and communication style, especially in those identify-forming years. One caveat: totally embracing a mentor’s way – because one sees the mentor as God-like or because it’s easier following a familiar or safe trail – may hinder the development of one’s own individuality and confidence to explore.
Let me provide an example. When I first moved to Washington, DC in 1990, after sixteen years in New Orleans, I was hungry for connecting with another collection of oddballs and outcasts. In the Big Easy, all it took was strolling down the street; in DC I had to join an “Artists Support Group.” One of the mind-opening discoveries was the fact that many of the visual artists, with BFAs and MFAs, were lamenting the loss of their distinct visual style and “voice.” These folks believed they had aligned too closely with a graduate advisor or other faculty member, forsaking much of their previous interests, perspectives or style. Also, for practical reasons many had crossed the border from fine to commercial/graphic arts. Now, often struggling with a seemingly mid-career malaise or burnout, they wanted to return to their creative roots and rediscover a vehicle for personal if not singular artistic expression.
Now consider this anti-academic saga. As a speaker and writer, my odyssey began by dropping out of the Tulane University School of Social Work doctoral program in 1981. A mystical-like experience propelled me to attempt a wildly creative dissertation topic that was, frankly, “off the academic wall.” (In hindsight, I understand why my advisors were skeptical. At the time I wasn’t going to let those conservative academics stifle this budding talent.) Eventually, I burnt out on the process, dropped out of the program and was on my own – a state both scary and exhilarating. My professional canvas was blank. How was I going to fill it? There were two silver linings: I was ready to become an expert on stress and burnout (I may be hard-headed but I’m no dummy) and New Orleans definitely needed a “Stress Doc” ™.
In the early ‘80s, oil had gone bust and the state of Louisiana had passed West Virginia as the most economically depressed state in the union. The burnt out “Bayou State” was ready for an expert who could so personally and vividly talk about the experience of the “erosive spiral.” Through sheer “chutzpah,” I broke into radio and TV and began experimenting with and developing my own style of brief essays that blended good psychology with irreverent wit (my “psychohumorist” ™ voice), memorable phraseology (“Practice Safe Stress” ™) and fast-paced energy. For example, one early radio essay title was: “Breaking out of a hell of a Shell or Don’t Feel Too Sorry for Humpty Dumpty…He Needed to Hit Bottom.”
Actually, these substance and style attributes, supplemented by an ability to generate engaging and fun group exercises for audiences of any size, over time led to designing uncommon programming as a speaker and workshop leader. As a former girl friend noted, I have been on “the journey of a word artist.” This example of the dangers of mentoring and, conversely, the opportunities that opened once outside of academia, leads to the second path for gaining professional wisdom.
2. Meandering. In contrast to mentoring, one may evolve skills, experience and ultimately, some wisdom, less by coaching and more by on the job training, especially when (mostly) flying solo. A meandering learning curve, not surprisingly, is often of longer duration, with unexpected detours and learning paths and has greater frequency of errors. Self-defeating consequences may arise: one can get lost or stuck when rigidly defying authority or custom or always having to do it “my way.” Still there may be two distinctly positive outcomes: a) the development of a more individual, fresh and authentic voice or uncommon modus operandi and b) a greater willingness to take risks and a begrudging acceptance of the need for and, even, value of both failing and of challenging the conventional. Solitary meandering may well help foster inner resources and resolve.
Evolution and “The Secret of Wisdom”
Whether through mentoring or meandering, when character develops in the course of meaningful, give-and-take interaction or integrity builds from soul-searching solitude, and these maturational markers gradually learn to dance together, here is a path and process for personal-professional evolution and wisdom. As Jonas Salk, one of the groundbreaking discoverers of the Polio Vaccine, observed: Evolution is about getting up one more time than we fall down, being courageous one more time than we are fearful, trusting just one more time than being anxious. And along with a sense of persistence, everyday struggle and appreciation for even small triumphs is the need for serenity: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know where to hide the bodies." No...Just kidding. ;-) "And the wisdom to know the difference." And the older I get, the more profound "The Serenity Prayer" seems. Yet, a fundamental question remains: how the heck do you get the wisdom? Okay, folks. Here it is...The Secret of Wisdom.
Once there was a young woman who heard that an old wise woman had the secret of wisdom. The young woman was determined to track the old woman down. After traveling many months, the young woman found the old woman in a cave. She entered and addressed the old woman: "Old Wise Woman, I hear you have The Secret of Wisdom. Would you share it with me? The old woman looked at the youth and said, "Yes, you seem sincere. The Secret of Wisdom is good judgment." "Good judgment, of course," said the youth, thanked her mentor, and started to leave. However, as she got to the entrance of the cave she paused, turned back and said, "Old Woman, I feel funny, but, if I may ask, how does one obtain good judgment?" "That's a good question," said the sage. "One obtains good judgment through experience." "Experience, of course," said the young seeker, and proceeded to leave. But once again she stopped in her tracks, and humbly walked back to her mentor. "Old Woman," said the young woman, "I feel foolish, but I have to ask: How does one obtain experience?" The old woman paused, nodded her head, and then proceeded: "Now you have reached the right question. How does one obtain experience?. . . Through bad judgment!"
Remember, errors of judgment or design rarely consign one to a state of incompetence; they more likely reveal inexperience or immaturity, perhaps even boldness. Our so-called "failures" can be channeled as guiding streams (okay, sometimes raging rivers) of opportunity and experience that ultimately enrich – widen, deepen and expand – the risk-taking passage...If we can just immerse ourselves in these unpredictably roiling yet so often rejuvenating waters. Here are words that spur the striving for higher levels of professionalism and wisdom and also help us all…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
[Adapted from my article first published in PCMA Capital Chapter, The Chatter, June 2003]
While exploring a theme during an association committee meeting, two thought-provoking questions were posed: What is “professional wisdom” and how does one gain the same? The Webster’s Third New International Dictionary helps launch an investigation. To summarize, as an adjective, “professional” refers to an individual engaged in an occupation requiring a high level of training and proficiency. The role is characterized by technical and/or ethical standards, such that this individual demonstrates a fine artistry or workmanship based on education, the application of sound knowledge, conscientiousness and experience.
“Wisdom” seemingly emerges from a professional foundation or, at least, reaches some maturity through “hard-earned,” growing pains process or journey that enriches both the head and the heart. Wisdom is:
1) Accumulated information or lore, or instinctive adaptation;
2) The intelligent application of learning; that is, the ability to discern inner qualities and essential relationships; and,
3) Characterized by integrity and character.
Perhaps Benjamin Franklin said it best: “The mouth of a wise man is in his heart.”
Now that we have defined our terms, let’s identify two wisdom-generating paths and processes – “mentoring” and “meandering.” While posited separately, clearly, these “M & M”s can come together and nourish a life journey. And, like everything else, overdosing on these “M & M”s can have consequences:
1. Mentoring. Most of us can think of a knowledgeable and understanding, more senior supervisor or colleague (or relative, teacher, coach, therapist, etc.) who took us under his or her wing. This individual shared ideas and preached from experience, helped us bathe wounds or got us back on our feet during or after daunting learning curve trials. He or she also provided practical shortcuts based on greater time on the battle lines. For many, this person becomes a role model significantly influencing both our professional substance and communication style, especially in those identify-forming years. One caveat: totally embracing a mentor’s way – because one sees the mentor as God-like or because it’s easier following a familiar or safe trail – may hinder the development of one’s own individuality and confidence to explore.
Let me provide an example. When I first moved to Washington, DC in 1990, after sixteen years in New Orleans, I was hungry for connecting with another collection of oddballs and outcasts. In the Big Easy, all it took was strolling down the street; in DC I had to join an “Artists Support Group.” One of the mind-opening discoveries was the fact that many of the visual artists, with BFAs and MFAs, were lamenting the loss of their distinct visual style and “voice.” These folks believed they had aligned too closely with a graduate advisor or other faculty member, forsaking much of their previous interests, perspectives or style. Also, for practical reasons many had crossed the border from fine to commercial/graphic arts. Now, often struggling with a seemingly mid-career malaise or burnout, they wanted to return to their creative roots and rediscover a vehicle for personal if not singular artistic expression.
Now consider this anti-academic saga. As a speaker and writer, my odyssey began by dropping out of the Tulane University School of Social Work doctoral program in 1981. A mystical-like experience propelled me to attempt a wildly creative dissertation topic that was, frankly, “off the academic wall.” (In hindsight, I understand why my advisors were skeptical. At the time I wasn’t going to let those conservative academics stifle this budding talent.) Eventually, I burnt out on the process, dropped out of the program and was on my own – a state both scary and exhilarating. My professional canvas was blank. How was I going to fill it? There were two silver linings: I was ready to become an expert on stress and burnout (I may be hard-headed but I’m no dummy) and New Orleans definitely needed a “Stress Doc” ™.
In the early ‘80s, oil had gone bust and the state of Louisiana had passed West Virginia as the most economically depressed state in the union. The burnt out “Bayou State” was ready for an expert who could so personally and vividly talk about the experience of the “erosive spiral.” Through sheer “chutzpah,” I broke into radio and TV and began experimenting with and developing my own style of brief essays that blended good psychology with irreverent wit (my “psychohumorist” ™ voice), memorable phraseology (“Practice Safe Stress” ™) and fast-paced energy. For example, one early radio essay title was: “Breaking out of a hell of a Shell or Don’t Feel Too Sorry for Humpty Dumpty…He Needed to Hit Bottom.”
Actually, these substance and style attributes, supplemented by an ability to generate engaging and fun group exercises for audiences of any size, over time led to designing uncommon programming as a speaker and workshop leader. As a former girl friend noted, I have been on “the journey of a word artist.” This example of the dangers of mentoring and, conversely, the opportunities that opened once outside of academia, leads to the second path for gaining professional wisdom.
2. Meandering. In contrast to mentoring, one may evolve skills, experience and ultimately, some wisdom, less by coaching and more by on the job training, especially when (mostly) flying solo. A meandering learning curve, not surprisingly, is often of longer duration, with unexpected detours and learning paths and has greater frequency of errors. Self-defeating consequences may arise: one can get lost or stuck when rigidly defying authority or custom or always having to do it “my way.” Still there may be two distinctly positive outcomes: a) the development of a more individual, fresh and authentic voice or uncommon modus operandi and b) a greater willingness to take risks and a begrudging acceptance of the need for and, even, value of both failing and of challenging the conventional. Solitary meandering may well help foster inner resources and resolve.
Evolution and “The Secret of Wisdom”
Whether through mentoring or meandering, when character develops in the course of meaningful, give-and-take interaction or integrity builds from soul-searching solitude, and these maturational markers gradually learn to dance together, here is a path and process for personal-professional evolution and wisdom. As Jonas Salk, one of the groundbreaking discoverers of the Polio Vaccine, observed: Evolution is about getting up one more time than we fall down, being courageous one more time than we are fearful, trusting just one more time than being anxious. And along with a sense of persistence, everyday struggle and appreciation for even small triumphs is the need for serenity: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know where to hide the bodies." No...Just kidding. ;-) "And the wisdom to know the difference." And the older I get, the more profound "The Serenity Prayer" seems. Yet, a fundamental question remains: how the heck do you get the wisdom? Okay, folks. Here it is...The Secret of Wisdom.
Once there was a young woman who heard that an old wise woman had the secret of wisdom. The young woman was determined to track the old woman down. After traveling many months, the young woman found the old woman in a cave. She entered and addressed the old woman: "Old Wise Woman, I hear you have The Secret of Wisdom. Would you share it with me? The old woman looked at the youth and said, "Yes, you seem sincere. The Secret of Wisdom is good judgment." "Good judgment, of course," said the youth, thanked her mentor, and started to leave. However, as she got to the entrance of the cave she paused, turned back and said, "Old Woman, I feel funny, but, if I may ask, how does one obtain good judgment?" "That's a good question," said the sage. "One obtains good judgment through experience." "Experience, of course," said the young seeker, and proceeded to leave. But once again she stopped in her tracks, and humbly walked back to her mentor. "Old Woman," said the young woman, "I feel foolish, but I have to ask: How does one obtain experience?" The old woman paused, nodded her head, and then proceeded: "Now you have reached the right question. How does one obtain experience?. . . Through bad judgment!"
Remember, errors of judgment or design rarely consign one to a state of incompetence; they more likely reveal inexperience or immaturity, perhaps even boldness. Our so-called "failures" can be channeled as guiding streams (okay, sometimes raging rivers) of opportunity and experience that ultimately enrich – widen, deepen and expand – the risk-taking passage...If we can just immerse ourselves in these unpredictably roiling yet so often rejuvenating waters. Here are words that spur the striving for higher levels of professionalism and wisdom and also help us all…Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker and "Motivational Humorist" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN speaking and workshop programs. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant for a variety of govt. agencies, corporations and non-profits and is AOL's "Online Psychohumorist" ™. Mark is an Adjunct Professor, No. VA (NOVA) Community College and currently he is leading "Stress, Team Building and Humor" programs for the 1st Cavalry and 4th Infantry Divisions, Ft. Hood, Texas. A former Stress and Conflict Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
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