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Sunday, April 19, 2015

The Community Awareness and Impact Program: Bridging and Healing the Violence, Trauma & Grief Divide

We live in a real and social media world saturated with sources of aggression, weapons, and violence, – whether random or “home-grown.”  Almost daily, media headlines affirm this grave reality…with another and another, and yet another tragic loss of life.  In addition to societal forces and pressures, the “home-grown” battlefront may involve:

a) intense family stress or breakup along with reintegration of a family member, e.g., a returning Veteran,

b) peer bullying – whether in a schoolyard or workplace, or gang-related activity,

c) cyber-bullying: with greater isolation and anonymity, with the loss of genuine human connection, empathy decreases, aggression increases,

d) substance and/or domestic abuse and its spiraling tension on family members, friends, colleagues, etc.

In such a volatile culture and work-life-cyber space, it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish vulnerable from “it can’t happen here” communities, schools, playgrounds, shopping malls, workplaces, etc.

What is truly critical in such volatile, TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – Driven & Distracted times is for individuals, couples, families, businesses, organizations, institutions, and communities to dismantle these “us vs. them” perceptual walls.  Such mind-culture barriers prevent seeing our vulnerable space-time as a “human ecology” problem that transcends cultural diversity, ethnicity, or financial disparity.  (Alas, sometimes with more money we just build higher and more rigid, seemingly “impregnable” walls.)  These mental blocks make it harder to empathize with our neighbors – whether “inside or outside a beltway” or on the “right or wrong side of the tracks.”  Such ideas also feed the illusion that one community’s “life and death” struggles can be quarantined or isolated from surrounding communities.  And sadly, such a mindset, as Lincoln noted many score years ago, impedes our reaching “the better angels of our nature.”

So, if you are wondering whether this is a time of breakthrough or breakdown…There’s a multifaceted team on call:  Dr. Charles Hicks, acclaimed Baltimore Psychologist and Personal Empowerment Life Coach and Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, the “Stress Doc” ™, acclaimed Speaker, Workshop Leader, and Critical Incident/Trauma Intervention-Debriefing Consultant.  Let this Dynamic-Diverse Duo help you and your social and work groups, institutions and neighborhoods engage in “Community Bridge-Building as a Healing Response to Violence, Trauma and Grief.”  In this workshop, engage with lively "Get FIT" -- FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking – “on-point” presentation, powerful social-psychology-communication concepts, tools, and techniques, along with real, “hands on” group exercises/role plays, and care-griever/caregiver strategic discussion.  Expanded awareness, dialogue, and collaborative action planning, will help us design a “One Human Touch Relationship:  Community Bridge-Building & Healing – Model and Method”:

Ø  Be part of the emerging and integrative community conversation

Ø  Collaborate and develop tools with individuals and families, colleagues and groups

Ø  Develop stress resilience and trauma/grief/anger management and creative adaptation skills for emotional intelligence maturation and personal-organizational recovery and growth

Ø  Build psychological and cognitive agility to respect tradition and think out of the box

Ø  Learn how other families, organizations, companies and leaders grapple with emerging challenges and opportunities

Ø  Identify and begin to repair and overcome communication-culture barriers
 
Ø  Experience challenges and benefits of conflict thru creative thinking: building bridges and designing your personal Grief Rejuvenation/Stress Resilience Tool Kit.  (Remember, your mind is the most creative psycho-social medium!)

And, of course, this half-day workshop is only the first step.  There will be a follow-up program to discuss, plan, and launch community action initiatives.

Program Objectives

A.  Community Bridge-Building as a Healing Response:  Overview

1.  Provisional Vision/Mission Statement:  educate and sensitize, increase and inspire the public's knowledge and awareness of those persons, families, and organizations that have been impacted by the random and societal acts of violence, trauma, and grief!

2.  Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress:  Is it a personal illness and/or a societal issue?

3.  Do we know enough about "human behavior" to advocate a frame work of understanding that generates opportunity to provide programs/services of relief-help-healing-resiliency-recovery?

4.  How do mental, emotional, psychological, (age), developmental (including early childhood/family experiences), environmental, and social maturity factors, along with access to supportive and healing resources, influence one's vulnerability to violence and rage or one’s capacity for managing anger, trauma, and grief?

5. Who are the caregivers?  Who are the care-grievers?  How best to support each group?

6.  The criticality of professional and public as well as communities wide-recognition of the impact of social-cultural violence and aggression, trauma and grief on individuals, families, schools, workplaces, churches, and an array of institutions

7.  The collaborative challenge of building interpersonal-group bridges within and between communities and social-cultural-religious institutions for “Bridging and Healing the Violence, Trauma & Grief Divide.”


B.  Rage, Trauma, and Grief:  A “Crisis” Model

1.  Definition of “Crisis” and “Crisis Stages Model”

2.  Key components of the “Vulnerable State”:  Threat, Loss & Challenge

3.  Time-limited “Crisis Window of Danger and Opportunity”

4.  Different types of trauma/grief situations:  “Fight & Flight, Freeze & Flow”

5.  Link between past and present pain and loss in traumatic stress reactions


C.  Violence, Loss, and Trauma (VLT):  Overview

1.  Defining the VLT Sandwich (and each of its ingredients)

2.  What are key personal-situational precursors to Violence? Self-Defeating Conflict? Domestic Violence, Bullying? Workplace Disruptions? Road Rage? and Suicide, etc;

3.  The special cases of Violent Death and Loss of Young Life

4.  Stress-Trauma Assessment:  Holmes-Rahe Life Change-Stress Index

5.  The critical issue of sense of control of one’s emotions and one’s environment; “You Can’t Make Me” and “You Fumbled the Data” Exercises


D.  Nature of Trauma

1.  TNT Trauma:  Overwhelming Crisis or Chronic Condition; Illness or Socio-Cultural Issue?

2.  What is the nature of trauma? Why is it so devastating?  Can the process be reversed?

3.  Situational Trauma:  "homicide trauma," "war trauma," "rape trauma", "discrimination trauma," "socio-economic/job loss trauma," "domestic violence trauma," "oppression trauma," etc.

4.  “Bad Kids or Traumatized Kids”:  Understanding the person-situation context

5.  Dr. Hicks’ “Trauma:  Twenty Questions”:

6.  Witnessing Violence or Second-Hand Exposure:  PTSD contexts and reactions
 
 
E.  The Nature of Grief and the Grief Process

1. “Unfinished Grieving,” “Grief Ghosts,” and the multifaceted types and dynamics of loss and grief

2.  Classic Stages of Loss and Grief, including Shock, Denial, Rage, Helplessness, Guilt, Ambivalence, etc.

3.  Cognitive, Affective, Behavioral, and Social-Cultural Methods of Grieving

4.  Difference between “Feeling Sorry for Yourself and Feeling Your Sorrow”

5.  The Magical Healing Path of Grief

6.  The Stress Doc’s Recipe for Group Grieving the Loss of a Vital Member


F.  Violence, Loss, & Trauma Interventions

1.  Once the rage or anxiety (or depression) trigger has been engaged…how can I press the pause button?  How can I steadily moderate my intensity?

2.  Basic self-regulation and constructive conflict resolution mindsets and communication skills and strategies; the “Four ‘R’s of PRO Relating:  being Respectful-Real-Responsible-Responsive

3.  Building the the TnT Relationship:  The Power of Trust & Transparency

4.  Gaining a basic understanding/application of “Emotional Intelligence” for self-regulation and empathic emotional connection

5. The Power of Psycho-Drama:  enabling participants to act out these emotions/reactions in a safe environment, more effectively managing emotional and cognitive-behavioral responses and social interactions through support, guidance and shared experiences
6.  The “Power of “Creativity” and “Engaging with Nature” for expressing grief and healing trauma

 
G.  Save the Retreat Wrap-up

1.  Brainstorming “Community Building & Healing” next steps

2.  Forming action plan/task groups

3.  Choosing a “Stress/Battlefield Buddy” and the Power of the Stress Doc’s TLC

4.  Go round:  What will I take home, what workshop seeds will I plant:  on a personal-professional, family, organizational, and/or community level?

5.  Stress Doc will close with a “Healing Humor” Shrink Rap ™
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Presenter Bios

Dr. Charles Hicks

Charles’ professional career started as a Public School Teacher, evolved into Teaching in Academic Departments at various Universities – Howard University, Duquesne University, Morgan State University, Towson State University, the University of Baltimore, and The Johns Hopkins University.  Dr. Hicks was also a staff member in the Student Affairs Department at the California Polytechnic State University where he served as a Career Counselor and Career Center Coordinator. He was an Industrial Social Psychologist in the Human Resources Department of Gulf Oil Corporation, a Sr. HRD Consultant at Blue Cross and Blue Shield, and a Staff Consultant at Personnel Decisions, Drake Beam Morin, Lee Hecht Harrison, and Right Management - Career Outplacement Firms. In addition, he has been an executive coach with the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL®) for 25 years and has staffed programs at the Greensboro facility and also at the National Leadership Institute – a CCL Affiliate at the University College, University of Maryland. Roles have included facilitator of experiential team activities in the program modules and as also as a developmental assessment feedback coach, delivering 1 on 1 client assessment feedback, and follow-up coaching services. In addition, Charles has extensive adjunct affiliation (25 years) with the Federal Executive Institute in Charlottesville, VA. Currently he is affiliated as a Personal Empowerment Coach with the Inspirit Counseling Services of Baltimore, Maryland.
~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark Gorkin, “The Stress Doc” ™

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote, kickoff and webinar speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring, and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  The Doc is a Training and Stress Resilience Consultant for The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group.  He has also led “"Stress and Communication,” as well as “Managing Change, Humor, and Team Building" leadership retreats for a variety of units at Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services.

A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger.  The Stress Doc blog appears in such platforms as HR.com, WorkforceWeek.com, and MentalHelpNet.  His award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite"www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Homicide/Trauma Intervention and Healing for Families: Educational-Grief Program & Rebirth Support Group

The loss of any family member to gun or weapon-related violence is a horrific event.  And when the death is a child, the tragedy and trauma is only magnified.  Once the numbing shock wears off, burning questions arise, such as, Why did this happen?  Will I/we survive the horror?  How?  Not only is it critical to provide a safe and secure environment for this soul searching, but vital psychosocial assessment must be undertaken:

  • Is the person or family struggling with anger, emptiness, panic, survivor’s guilt, confusion with the judicial system, etc.?
  • What does the participant want or expect from the group?
  • How ready is the individual or family to mobilize?
  • What kind of support will they need and/or are ready to accept?
More specifically, are the individual or family members ready to avail themselves of the mutual aid and healing potential of an emotional grief support and mind-body spirit rebirth group?  Is the person able to emotionally give and take with peers in a group or is s/he first in need of individual counseling?  The power of group is primal:   not only are we not alone; we can see ourselves (and forgive ourselves) more clearly through another’s story – whether large pain or small triumph.  And the process of sharing and touching others not only provides hope…it is also self-healing!  When group diversity and purpose, sharing and caring, crying and even some laughter are woven together then a group creates a tapestry of unimagined possibility.

Please join us as we weave our life-and hope-sustaining tapestry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
A.  The Irreplaceable Loss

1.  What makes the loss of a child so painfully unique?, and what makes violent death so tragic?

2.  In times of traumatic crisis, who are your true friends and allies?

3.  What is your biggest fear for your child, for yourself?

4.  Why is this grief never finished?

5.  Over time, is it possible to regain a sense that life is still worth living?

6.  The challenge of anniversary dates

7.  Dr. Hicks’ “Trauma Survey:  Twenty Questions”:
 
 
B.  Dynamics of Loss and Grief

1.  Understanding unfinished grieving, “one day at a time,” and “Grief Ghosts”

2.  Experiencing the many layers and sides of loss and grief

3.  Stages of loss and grief, including Shock, Denial, Rage, Helplessness, Guilt, Ambivalence, etc.

4.  Types of Grieving:  head, heart, behavioral, social, reflective, creative, and integrative

5.  Difference between “Feeling Sorry for Yourself” and “Feeling Your Sorrow”

6.  Understanding the critical difference between depression and grief

7.  The potentially magical healing path of grief
 
 
C.  Key Trauma/Grief Healing Steps, Tools, and Techniques

1.  3-D – Discussion-Drawing-Diversity – Grief-Team Building Exercise

2.  “Nine Step Trauma & Grief Orientation-Engagement Recipe:  Group Facilitation

3.  The art of embracing and slowly letting go of past pain:  “Fight & Flight, Freeze & Flow”

4.  “Bad Kids or Traumatized Kids”:  Understanding the person-situation context

5.  What would your child/loved one want you to be doing now?

6.  Carefully using “Healing Humor”:  The Link between Comedy and Tragedy

7.  Allowing for the periodic psychic flu
 
 
D.  Head-work, Heart-work & Homework:  Next Steps

1.  Discover the Stress Doc’s Stress Resiliency Formula for Natural SPEED:  Sleep-Priorities-Passion-Empathy-Exercise-Diet

2.  Making a “Stress/Battlefield Buddy”

3.  Joining a peer support group like “Compassionate Friends” or even a “Twelve Step” Support Group

4.  Knowing when to reach out for personal/spiritual counseling

5.  Building a personal memorial/tribute to the loved one

6.  Advocating for or honoring the loved one in the public arena

7.  Learning to journal, engage in creative grief expression, and/or engage with nature; overcome a “Fixed Mindset,” explore the “Growth Mindset”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Presenter Bios

Dr. Charles Hicks

Charles’ professional career started as a Public School Teacher, evolved into Teaching in Academic Departments at various Universities – Howard University, Duquesne University, Morgan State University, Towson State University, the University of Baltimore, and The Johns Hopkins University.  Dr. Hicks was also a staff member in the Student Affairs Department at the California Polytechnic State University where he served as a Career Counselor and Career Center Coordinator. He was an Industrial Social Psychologist in the Human Resources Department of Gulf Oil Corporation, a Sr. HRD Consultant at Blue Cross and Blue Shield, and a Staff Consultant at Personnel Decisions, Drake Beam Morin, Lee Hecht Harrison, and Right Management - Career Outplacement Firms. In addition, he has been an executive coach with the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL®) for 25 years and has staffed programs at the Greensboro facility and also at the National Leadership Institute – a CCL Affiliate at the University College, University of Maryland. Roles have included facilitator of experiential team activities in the program modules and as also as a developmental assessment feedback coach, delivering 1 on 1 client assessment feedback, and follow-up coaching services. In addition, Charles has extensive adjunct affiliation (25 years) with the Federal Executive Institute in Charlottesville, VA. Currently he is affiliated as a Personal Empowerment Coach with the Inspirit Counseling Services of Baltimore, Maryland.
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Mark Gorkin, “The Stress Doc” ™

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote, kickoff and webinar speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring, and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  The Doc is a Training and Stress Resilience Consultant for The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group.  He has also led “"Stress and Communication,” as well as “Managing Change, Humor, and Team Building" leadership retreats for a variety of units at Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services.

A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger.  The Stress Doc blog appears in such platforms as HR.com, WorkforceWeek.com, and MentalHelpNet.  His award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite"www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Stress Doc: Notes from a Motivational Psychohumorist ™: Critical Incident-Trauma-Grief Intervention & Debr...

Stress Doc: Notes from a Motivational Psychohumorist ™: Critical Incident-Trauma-Grief Intervention & Debr...: Just last week, Dr. Charles Hicks a Baltimore psychologist and life coach and Linked-In comrade, approached me about developing a proposal o...

Critical Incident-Trauma-Grief Intervention & Debriefing: Train the Trainer/Caregiver Workshop

Just last week, Dr. Charles Hicks a Baltimore psychologist and life coach and Linked-In comrade, approached me about developing a proposal on Primary and Secondary Trauma/Grief Intervention and Debriefing.  He wanted to pitch it to a local “faith-based” organization.  The request was intriguing, and I immediately got on the keyboard.  As I was developing the package, it was soon clear I could integrate both ideas developed decades ago as a Crisis Intervention Adjunct Professor at Tulane University Graduate School of Social Work and more recent work as a Critical Incident/Stress-Trauma-Grief Debriefing Consultant.  (See below, “The Stress Doc’s Critical Incident Intervention-Chicken Gumbo Recipe for Soothing the Heart, Sustaining the Soul, and Searching Anew for Purpose and Passion:  Nine Steps.”)

In addition to a program blurb and objectives-outline and relevant testimonials, and a sample list of my trauma intervention experience, there are two powerful and relevant Resiliency Raps.”  Dr. Hicks thought the proposal “great.”  I hope you find it thought-provoking and, if applicable, of use to you, your group/organization, or other entities.  Please email or call with any questions, ideas, or suggestions.  Peace,

Mark

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW
The Stress Doc ™


Stress & Change Resilience Counseling-Coaching-Consultation
Crisis Intervention-Burnout-Bullying/Conflict-Loss-Grief
Phone-Electronic-Skype-In-Person

301-875-2567
stressdoc@aol.com
www.stressdoc.com
http://www.orate.me/resume/mark-gorkin/  (ORATE Speakers Bureau)
~~~~~~~~~~

Critical Incident-Trauma-Grief Intervention & Debriefing:  Train the Trainer/Caregiver Workshop

In a world where encounters with sources of aggression and violence, trauma and grief are all too common, understanding the dynamics of “critical incidents/hazardous events” – both for adults and/or children directly impacted and for those encountering second-hand effects – is vital.  This “train the trainer/caregiver” workshop is for family members or close friends, colleagues, educators, religious or community leaders, emergency responders, or an array of helping professionals.  Critical Incident Intervention demands an ability to respond using both head and heart to connect and comfort those caught in the radiating circles of trauma.

And the Stress Doc’s lively, high-energy programs are the perfect answer.  In fact, the Doc’s workshops help audiences “Get FIT”…by being FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking.  The program involves a mix of brief lecture, real world group exercises, and group discussion.  You will walk away with “hands on” tools and skills, techniques and strategies for responding purposefully, efficiently, and with compassion in times of trauma and crisis.   And these tools and strategies will enable you to effectively engage both individuals immediately impacted by trauma and loss, and especially with those emotionally connected to or in the emotional shadow of trauma or grief ground zero.

Program Objectives

The Critical Incident/Trauma Debriefing Professional needs to have working knowledge in the following key areas, including:

A.  Overview of Stress, Crisis, and Trauma

1. The Head and Heart Support and Resilience Goal of Critical Incident/Trauma Debriefing
2. Types of Stress, Smoke Signals, and Crisis Theory
3. Crisis Window of “Danger & Opportunity”
4. Different Types of Trauma/Grief Situations
5. Predisposing Factors to Traumatic Stress Reactions

B.  Dynamics of Loss and Grief

1. Unfinished Grieving and “Grief Ghosts”
2. Understanding the Multifaceted Nature of Loss and Grief
3. Stages of Loss and Grief, including Shock, Denial, Rage, Helplessness, Guilt, Ambivalence, etc.
4. Difference between “Feeling Sorry for Yourself” and “Feeling Your Sorrow”
5. The Magical Healing Path of Grief

C.  Critical Incident Settings and Use of Personal-Professional Self

1. Types/Settings of Interventions
2. Use of Personal/Professional Self in Critical Incident/Trauma Debriefing
3. Capacity for Relaxed Attention, being Focused & Fluid, Absorbing & Scanning, and Detached Involvement
4. Conscious Use of Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

D.  Key Critical Incident Communication Skills

1. How to Engage in Reflective Listening
2. How to Ask Courageous “Good Questions”
3. How to Tentatively Reflect and Appropriately Reveal

E.  Key Intervention Process Components, Tools and Techniques

1. Transitioning from Educator to Group Facilitator
2. “Nine Step Trauma & Grief Orientation-Engagement Recipe.”
3. Carefully Using Healing & Harmonizing Humor:  The Link between Comedy and Tragedy

F.  Taking Care of the Critical Incident Caregiver

1. Recognizing, Preventing, and Recovering from Burnout
2. Engage in Acclaimed Relaxation-Visualization Exercise
3. Stress Doc’s Natural SPEED Formula for Stress Resiliency and Brain Agility
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Credentials and Experience of the Primary Presenter

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, known as the Stress Doc ™, is a nationally recognized speaker, Stress Resilience and Critical Incident/Hazardous Workplace Expert.  Mark has been:

a) a Stress & Violence Prevention Expert for the US Postal Service; was the “Social Worker/Consultant on the Beat”

b) a Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Expert for the US Military,

c) a Critical Incident/Trauma-Grief-and Hazardous Workplace Debriefing Expert for numerous corporations, government agencies, and institutions

d) over the past fifteen years, under the banner of Total Learning Solutions, has led a series of one-day Stress Resiliency & Conflict Management programs for Managers and Supervisors at Washington Metro Area Transit Authority (WMATA)

e) taught Crisis Intervention/Brief Treatment for ten years at Tulane University Graduate School of Social Work

f) recognized stress, transition stress, burnout and grief, transforming anger and conflict speaker and writer; has worked with hundreds of companies, institutions, and federal, county, and city agencies

g) author of Practice Safe Stress:  Healing & Laughing in the Face of Stress, Burnout & Depression, The Four Faces of Anger:  Transforming Anger, Rage & Conflict, and Resiliency Rap:  The Wit & Wisdom of the Shrink Rapper ™

h) private practice therapist for nearly thirty years, specializing in stress, burnout, loss, grief, and couples counseling

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sample of Critical Incident/Trauma Debriefing Interventions includes:

a) bank personnel/robbery at gun point

b) with postal facility’s personnel after an employee threatens to shoot two colleagues

c) postal worker held up at knife point

d) beloved Manager killed by a stranger after work outside a club

e) federal supervisor threatened with a knife

f) employee having a fatal heart attack on the workfloor

g) employee suicide in the context of some conflict-laden work relations

h) employee having a psychotic break at work

i) intense racial antagonism, and/or sexual harassment, and/or bullying/emotional intimidation in the workplace

j) supervisor losing son to AIDS and husband to a heart attack in a two month period

k) supervisor killed in a head-on vehicular crash while driving to work
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Testimonials
 
University of Maryland's Diabetes/Endocrinology Center's Managing Diabetes Conference; 100 + Allied Health Professionals
 
Practice Safe Stress:  Stress and Change Resilience through Humor
3/12/2015

Hi Mark-

Great presentation. It really inspired me to improve my own presentation skills and brainstorm with my coworkers how to make our diabetes education classes more fun.

Please add me to your newsletter list.

Best Regards,

Alison Massye

Alison Massey MS, RD, LDN, CDE
Director of Diabetes Education, Mercy Medical Center
250 N. Calvert Street Baltimore, MD 21202
amassey@mdmercy.com
P: (410) 659-2833
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Developing Stress Resiliency, Humor, and Passion Power:  The Gift of Interactive Engagement; for Human Resources Palm Beach County (HRPBC), FL; Kickoff Speaker; 100 attendees; 1.25 hrs

Feb 27, 2014

Hello Mark.

HR Palm Beach County had the wonderful pleasure of having Mark Gorkin “The Stress Doc” present at one of our monthly dinner meetings. Mark’s presentation was both insightful and engaging. He has a way of captivating the audience and makes them want to hear more. We enjoyed his insights on the factors that cause stress and how to overcome them. We hope to hear more from “The Stress Doc”. It was definitely time well spent. We especially enjoyed his perspective of Passion and Power. Mark Gorkin is a must hear!

Tanya Vaughn-Patterson
HRPBC Program Chair


Diversity & Inclusion Consultant
NEXTERA ENERGY
Ofc: 561-694-4199
tanya.vaughn-patterson@fpl.com
---------------------------


Fairfax County Government/Dept of Administration for Human Services; Keynote for 120 on "Energizing and Expanding Team Mindset, Motivation & Morale"

Subject:   THEY LOVE YOU IN DAHS
Date:     3/25/2013


Hi Mark,

Hope you had a great weekend.

I spoke with Gail this morning and she is absolutely DEE-lighted with the Stress Doc! 

[Gail Ledford, Department Director, was going to share her observations with Dept. of Public Work's Director James Patteson.]

WE have had nothing but rave reviews from the staff

“Engaging and Educational”

“Just a note to say how much I enjoyed yesterday’s event at the Government Center.  I think it changed the attitudes of many because not only were we ‘away’ from the office but also having Mark Gorkin as a guest speaker helped everyone connect better….and laugh. Thank you!”

“We are already using some of the tools and suggestions from the training. Our vote is more like this, whether it’s him or similar activities.”

I will be in touch. All the best,

Robyn L. McCoy
Resource Development and Training Manager
Department of Administration for Human Services


703-324-3597
Robyn.McCoy@fairfaxcounty.gov
--------------------


Counseling Testimonial

Oct 12, 2013

I am so glad you are offering your services to many. You are an insightful man who helped me to have clarity and find my strength in chaos. I honestly believe that "God" put you in my path. I am still unsure of my future but I do know that I made the right choice. Without your understanding, patience and knowledge, I would not have been able to make that move. I may have slip-ups but I hear your voice and your words in my head and you continue to guide me.


A
Long Island, NY
---------------------
 
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote, kickoff and webinar speaker as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring, and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  In addition, the "Doc" is a Team Building and Organizational Development Consultant as well as a.  He is providing "Stress and Communication,” as well as “Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for a variety of units at Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services.

A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger.  The Stress Doc blog appears in such platforms as HR.com, WorkforceWeek.com, and MentalHelpNet.  His award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite"www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Supporting Documents

The Stress Doc’s Critical Incident Intervention-Chicken Gumbo Recipe for Soothing the Heart, Sustaining the Soul, and Searching Anew for Purpose and Passion

Critical Incident Interventions come in many forms and functions, shapes and sizes.   For example, one common format:  providing a ten-minute overview of the effects of trauma and loss along with the signs and stages as well as the typical and individual workings of grief with a large group of employees (fifty or more).  You typically close by providing info about the Employee Assistant Program (EAP) for possible follow-up as needed.  Sometimes an intervention consists of meeting briefly with a team or segments thereof followed by consultations with individual employees.  These individual sessions may be scheduled beforehand; they also may arise right after a grief orientation, as an individual realizes s/he needs to talk.  In addition, an employee may be guided to you by a manager, or the start of an intervention can occur as you walk the halls, engaging people on the spot.

However, there’s another CISD (Critical Incident Stress Debriefing) model and method that appears to be effective for a time-limited orientation-intervention (e.g., 15-30 minutes) with a moderate-sized group (around 20-30 participants). Based on a recent 20-minute, 20-person group sessions, for maximizing intervention benefits consider this strategic, content-process, “Step-by-Step Trauma & Grief Orientation-Engagement Recipe.”  (Please know that deviations and trial and error experimentations will be highly likely and/or necessary.)  Let’s call this “The Stress Doc’s Critical Intervention-Chicken Gumbo for Soothing the Heart, Sustaining the Soul, and Searching Anew for Purpose and Passion.”

1.  First Impression.  Addressing the assembly, the Human Resources Director began her brief introduction, explaining who I was and why I was present.  Actually, her first words, not surprisingly, were a reflexive, “Good morning.”  My first words:  “Normally I would say ‘good morning,’ but today’s is not a good morning; it’s a very tough one.”  Immediately I had distinguished myself and my role while demonstrating an awareness of the emotional state and place of the folks in the room.  It wouldn’t be business as usual, yet…

2.  Getting Down to Business.  Having only 20 minutes necessitates a strategic opening and basic outline, including:

a) sharing some common traumatic effects of sudden and horrific death (a violent death often heightens the sense of trauma) and grief – e.g., an immediate state of shock, feeling numb, sadness, generalized angst, and/or anger (ranging from being angry with God and fate to the deceased, himself), social withdrawal, feeling bereft or emotionally out of control, possibly losing one’s appetite (or overusing substances to numb pain), having difficulty sleeping, etc.

b) placing these stress and loss smoke signals in a time frame, that is, the presence of some or a number of the above effects for a handful of days is fairly normal, (unless, of course, these grief signals are of overwhelming intensity); if the distracting or disturbing presence of any effects approach two weeks, then an assessment with an Employee Assistance Grief Counselor is strongly advisable.  And here’s why…

3.  Trauma takes off the Stress and “Grief Ghost” Cover.  Another piece of educational information relates to the disruptive potential of a sudden traumatic experience:
 
a) individuals currently experiencing high levels of stress in their lives, separate from the tensions related to the death of a colleague, are more likely to have heightened reactions to the immediate loss; they don’t have room to handle another stressor on their emotional plate and

b) consciously or not, we all carry around some emotional baggage from our psychosocial-historical past; if a person has not sufficiently grieved a previous loss or disruptive event – actual or psychological – especially regarding significant others or family/group relations, then the weight of this baggage becomes more onerous.  For such a burdened individual, a traumatic experience:

1) either increases the heaviness of one’s emotional load or
2) breaks open your luggage; now painful feelings and memories from the past – what I call “grief ghosts” – begin or are primed to flood your work-life space.  During trauma or “crisis,” defenses are lowered or punctured, the mask is uncovered.  People often wonder why they are having such a strong reaction to the immediate tragedy:  “Why am I suddenly thinking of people who don’t typically appear on, let alone crowd, my psychic radar?”  The short answer:  you are likely grappling with multiple losses – one’s both immediate and historic.  Consider this poignant example:  several days after 9/11, my webmaster, a former US Army officer and Vietnam combat vet, couldn’t understand why he was still having a vague sense of unease.  Asking a few questions helped him reconnect to the subterranean memory of having lost his first wife decades earlier in a tragic house fire.  He had been unsuccessful in his rescue attempts.  Trauma surfaces the overt and the covert.

4.  Grief Is Still Individual.  Finally, upon reviewing useful grief data, remind one and all there is no one right way or exact timetable for grieving.  The process is truly personal, based on one’s life stage and experience, temperament, cultural influence, etc.  I do close this portion of the session with a heartfelt Stress Doc ™ adage:  There’s a real difference between feeling sorry for yourself and feeling your sorrow.  When feeling sorry for yourself, you are likely blaming others.  When feeling your sorrow, you have the courage to face your pain.  And there will be times when each and every one of us must face and embrace our sorrow!”

5.  Changing Direction.  The educational component should not be more than 5-10 minutes.  Shifting idea and energy flow, I paused and asked if anyone wanted to speak.  In one group, initially, no one responded.  (This is not so surprising when many are feeling numb or are still in a state of shock; still others are not sure what to say.)  In the second session, one person shared a general observation about life’s vulnerability.  And then silence loomed; I affirmed this was understandable.

6.  The Power of Silence.  A suggestion:  consider going with the flow.  Ask for a minute of silence so all could all be with their own thoughts.  Based on my experience as a group facilitator, an uneasy or weighted quiet often is a stimulus and space for helping people focus, and get more centered.  Ironically, silence itself becomes a lubricant for communication.  And in fact, participants in both groups began sharing personal, heartfelt stories capturing some poignant or playful interaction with the deceased.  One or two revealed the recent death of a significant family member.  I noted my availability after the final grief session.

7.  Build On the Sharing.  I mentioned there may be several ways of memorializing the deceased, beyond a service, including a visual-verbal picture-board or scrapbook, planting a garden, or turning an activity that the deceased enjoyed into an annual event, etc.  (For example, one hospital department named a bocce tournament for a fallen colleague who enjoyed the pastime.)

Then, with time running down, I compressed a grief exercise into a head- and heart-provoking encounter.  After summarizing many of the positive qualities mentioned, and also surmising the deceased “wasn’t always an angel” – sometime he might even be a “pain in the butt” (which elicited some knowing laughter) – I then posed a powerful question…

8.  An Existential-Spiritual Challenge.  “What would happen if each one identified a trait or quality that they admired or valued in the deceased? … And, too, if all committed to cultivating that trait within ourselves?”  While time constraints did not permit group discussion, I answered as follows:  “First, I believe you’d be giving yourself a gift by honoring your colleague.  And second, if each person took up this challenge, while your colleague would no longer be physically present, his spirit would certainly walk the hospital halls.”  The energy rise in the room was palpable.

9.  Closing Review and Resources.  After thanking everyone for their attention and for the individual sharing, I briefly affirmed the depth of emotion that can be evoked by trauma and grief.  Also underscored was the importance, during such trying times, of having a personal and/or professional ear and shoulder to lean on; a “stress buddy,” as I like to call it.  Sometimes, after the shock wears off, the pain and confusion may warrant talking to a professional.  Again, I reminded people of the availability of the Employee Assistance Program for free time-limited stress and grief consultation or counseling.  And finally, the HR Director reminded people that I would be available for one-on-one meetings after the group session.

I hope this strategic content-process “step-by-step” yet fluid recipe for acute stress relief and grief counseling proves useful should your company or organization find itself in the throes of life-and-death trauma.  Unfortunately, such understanding and capacity for therapeutic response may be increasingly critical in a rapidly changing world that too often appears to be outpacing the human and organizational capacity to adequately adapt.  More than ever…Practice Safe Stress!
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Grief Ghosts:  A Viral or Vital Metamorphosis

And the Grief Ghosts will rise from the ashes
When one tries to bury the pain.
Feeding a fire that chokes dreams and desire
Oh when will your tears fall like rain?


Too late…look, soul-sucking phantoms
Spiral higher and higher, madly morph and conspire
As Trojan worms raiding while aerating your brain.


Wait…Perhaps there is still time to reach for the sublime:
Grieve, let go…and grow with the flow!

© Mark Gorkin  2012
Shrink Rap ™ Productions
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As a Critical Incident Consultant, I’m poignantly aware how unexpected dramas and tragedies lurk behind every corner and crevice of our hearts and minds…and also lie in the shadows of our homes, schools, and places of work.  Out of the quiet, out of The Death of a Salesman closet, Arthur Miller screams:  Attention must be paid!  And sometimes we must risk trusting our gut, risk "overreacting" and being mislabeled, and say something to the right someone...or be the right someone!

Learning from the Fatal Flaw

Did she really take her life over a phone?
Taken from a colleague…now all’s undone!
One woman dead, one torn apart
Guilt spears a throbbing heart
Regret for filing that stolen report
Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?

Can one grasp obscure knowledge
On the all too human fatal edge?
To get on the same page, one must leave a stage
Masked by “got it together” pain and rage.
Even with the latest gauge, who knows faux-taupe from beige?
Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?

Yet a friend sensed her look, a fearful absent look.
Still her head stayed by the book...
Why didn’t she speak up?
Neither one trusted their gut
"Don’t be a pain in the butt!”
So we doubt?  So we doubt?  So we doubt?

Do we pass in the hall and nod
In a hazy-distant fog
And mouth, “How you doing?”…
But only reminiscing; more simply whistling
Who has time for real listening?
Do your thing?  Do your thing?  Do your thing?

Now so sad; maybe wiser: are we respecting one another?
Whatever happened to “sister” and “brother”?
Wide-eyed to foreign experience
Energized by expressive variance
Growing through world view contrariance.
Will you dance?  Will you dance?  Will you dance?

Is it too risky to share
Without some faith in the air?
Of course, you can’t flip a switch, still
Pull one from a ditch; let another bitch…
The sky’s not falling – more like a glitch.
For a culture to be rich, offer a broad-shouldered niche.
Hey, it’s "get real" or be a bust:
Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!

© Mark Gorkin  2014
Shrink Rap ™ Productions