But first some personal background, not particularly profound
Still, will set the stage for rage and “coeur-age.”
(Let me take “courage” apart; coeur is French for the word heart:
Unguarded heart and on purpose rage – the crux paradox of human courage.)
Like a Humpty who’s manic, dancing off the wall academic
Ready to SHOW one and all…alas, no grace; only disgraceful fall.
Compelled by mad genius; an out-rage-ous project
In the shadow of animus; little time to reflect
Trapped by the spurious: you’re still a REJECT!
Get real, it’s now over, stripped of all cover.
Reduced to gray ash, bereft of PhD. sash
Finally raised the white flag…then packed my doctoral bag.
No time to ponder…tied to a heart monitor.
The ceiling was spinning, on my knees crawling
From the bedroom to the kitchen; man was I bitchin…
How slow letting go of inner ear vertigo.
To gently massage a much wounded brain
Now rubbing out some chronic self-doubt.
Yet still unseen a deep scarlet vein –
Critical source of deep-rooted ghost pain
To be touched in vain until grief tears pour like rain.
Beginning with an exercise regime,
Later sharing with friends those muted dreams
Slowly evolving my rehab scheme –
Reading for cathartic laughs, then for empathic light
Keeping a journal of dark insight; writing essays deep into the night.
“To be or not to be” stressed out on radio and TV.
Seemingly rolling lucky sevens…
The airwaves were hardly a ticket to heaven.
More a white knuckle flight path, with pockets of wrath
But once in spin, now buckled in
Finally learning the graph of bipolar math –
With a head med and depression confession
Could I still ride the tale of moonlight obsession?
Still seeking the edge of hard-earned knowledge:
A Phoenix may soar with high octane roar
Just don’t ignore: sky-high needs a floor
For crafting self-worth while returning to earth.
For “R & R” – “Rest and Refuel” – before the next duel
Pitting passion and will; raising again one “wise fool” on the hill.
Without exaggeration, “Burnout Rejuvenation.”
The Map aligns “Six Curative ‘R’s”
A path for all beings – of Venus and Mars.
The “H” is for Humiliation, the “E” for Emptiness
Don’t expect ventilation; you’re asking them to undress!
Of course, expecting rewards for “selfless” behaviors.
But when feeling ignored, start rattling their sabers.
Not to play favorites as I rant and rail:
HE Men and SHE Men may be male or female.
Forever right-sizing, always upgrading
Are you starting to feel like a mere bill of lading?
Fighting the mob for a lottery job
Struggling with bills brings out all kinds of ills –
From family blaming to all-night video gaming.
Someone makes you wail or bristle;
Forget f-2-f or the phone; configure the email
Start the countdown…launch that e-missile!
Which brings us to the final question:
How to stay calm and sane “always on” hyper-media brain?
If doing the job in your sleep.
When the daily routine is devoid of mystery…
Now Mastery times Monotony equals sheer Misery!
If work leaves you weary; the same tired story
Better shake up the puzzle or you will be sorry.
Next Retreating and Writing to become more en-light-ning.
Then Relating and Risk-Taking for a work-life awakening.
And with Part III we begin outlining “Recovery Strategy.”
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