24/7 Natural SPEED: Stress Resiliency Shrink Rap ™

The genesis of Shrink Rap ™ began in New Orleans in the late ‘80s and continued in the nation’s capital in the early ‘90s.  And, when inspired, I have been periodically penning Raps ever since.  However, with:

1) the explosion of “smart” technology,

2) the ever rising and spreading Internet-Social Media Tower of Babel,
3) the challenge of being heard (or read) amid the din and ever-increasing competing platforms, and
4) people having less time and attention to devote to reading articles

I am now embarking on a campaign to save brain cells by shortening my output and oeuvre, i.e., writing “Stress Resiliency Shrink Raps.”  Here’s a newer generation effort, recently tweaked ever so slightly in response to a female reader’s observation that excess consumption of soy products may be linked with breast cancer.  (Conversely, a nurse recently shared that eating celery may be protective for the same.)

At the same time, I have been ramping up my Linked-in network.  So, to get everyone on the same page, here’s the revised version of 24/7 Natural SPEED.  A friend asked if he could get reimbursement from his health insurance company after reading this rap.  It really is very thought-provoking; a solid prevention piece, as well as edgy and fun.  As I once observed:  People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor.  Anyway…I hope you are enjoying or will enjoy the writings.

Mark

stressdoc@aol.com

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24/7 Natural SPEED/Stress Resiliency Shrink Rap ™:

Safe Stress Survival Strategies

Are you the “poster child” for stress and duress?
Should you try Prozac?  Is it time to confess
To Ebay shopping – which may be a warning
When you're clicking madly at three in the morning?

But relax, have no fear...
The Stress Doc is here. So lay worries to rest…
Now listen and learn to Practice Safe Stress! ™

As you sprint to the wire with blood pressure higher
Timeless mind-body tips to heed
For slowing down, getting feet on the ground
And building Natural SPEED – Sleep-Priority-Passion-Empathy-Exercise-Diet.

Now don't be cheap with your need for “Sleep.”
Maximum learning must be REM deep
To be a beauty with mental acuity
Not that snooze-button bashing BLEEP!

For when it comes to daily slumber

All night gaming is dumb and dumber.
You may call me a grouchy old toad:
“Pull the d_ _n plug on ‘just one more’ download.”

Chorus:  When it comes to stress – it’s a lock

               Who you gonna get – the Stress Doc!

Do the shadows of consuming insomnia

Now mushroom into munching hysteria?
Does sneaking and snacking mean values are lacking
Or a health disease with vital criteria?

[To savor these “food for thought” questions

Digest this delicious digression:
A search for en-light-ened clarity
Imbued with lingual dexterity
Alas, settles for linguistic perversity –
The neologistic** “insomnobesity” ™.]

** Neologism:  the combining of existing words to make a new, often clever term or buzzword

--------------------------------

But let us get back to troubles in the sack…

Always “burning the candle” is not just a scandal –
More a waxy attack fueling brain-clogging plaque
That may even nurture dementia!

Beware numbing at night with pie ala mode

Better mind travel down a pine-scented road.
Or let sounds of the ocean sing a lullaby potion
While launching a dreamy adventure.

So, can you get seven hours, at least

Without an Ambien or Bud-Lite feast?
When stress from your head crawls into the bed
And virals as a nightmarish beast...

Despite what you think you’ll need more than a shrink:

How do you find – without losing your mind…
Hey, it’s a snap, there must be an app
For a “multi-HYPER-texting ‘n tubeing-always on-Facebooking-
Skype-savvy” exorcist priest?

Chorus:  Ready to confess – join the flock

               Who you gonna get – the Stress Doc!

"P" stands for "Priority"
You can't do it all every day.
Urgent means now but important can wait.
Do you know how to "N & N"? –
Just say "No and Negotiate!"

Now I hope you’ll pardon my asking:

“Must you always be multi-tasking?”
Oh, it’s just me, honey, your Energizer Bunny.
Running from quiet, your life is a riot.
Hmm…what is that “ADD” masking?

Chorus:  Is your life a mess? – you need a rock

               Who you gonna get – the Stress Doc!

Another “P”-word is “Passion”

And we’re not talking sex, shoes, or fashion.
Don’t try to impress, better…
Learn to play chess
Or dig, dream, and dance in your garden.


"E" is for the "Empathy"
Found in a caring shoulder.
But all give without take is a big mistake
For now you shoulder a boulder.

Find a stress buddy who knows TLC

Someone honest and self-aware –
One who gives “Tender Loving Criticism”
Yet also takes “Tough Loving Care!”

 

Chorus:  Doing more with less – better take stock

               Who you gonna get – the Stress Doc!

The second "E" is for "Exercise"
Start pumping iron or those thighs.
You may not need SSRIs.
Try thirty minutes of non-stop spin
For your mood uplifting endorphin.

And, finally, "D" is for a healthy "Diet"
Alas, many would rather die than try it.
To manage foods so often craved
Grieve, "let go," and then be brave
Sending diet fads to an early grave.

So eat those fruits and veggies
Try omega fish and bean protein.
For too much fats and sugar
Excess alcohol and caffeine
Is a rollercoaster formula

For a brain-fogged and artery-clogged machine.

Chorus:  When it comes to stress – you’re on the clock

               Who you gonna get – the Stress Doc!

It's time to end this Shrink Rap
With final tips for you –
"A firm 'No' a day keeps the ulcers away, and the hostilities too."
So to lessen daily woes, "Do know your limits; don't limit your 'No's!"

Ponder this Stress Doc wit and wisdom
Try to live it day after day:
Burnout is not a sign of failure
You simply gave yourself away.

Remember, sometimes less is more
And more is really less.
Balance work and play, faith and love
And, of course...Practice Safe Stress!

© Mark Gorkin 2013

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc is also leading “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com.