Becoming a Marxist (i.e., the Groucho Variety): Part I
Years ago, I perused an article in an airline magazine about
those comic geniuses, the Marx Brothers.
This comedic clan, of course, was known for their zany antics and
outlandish appearance – think Groucho in his oversized tux or Harpo’s trench
coat, more warehouse than outer garment – as well as all manner of nonverbal
gestures, exaggerated movements, and pratfalls.
Groucho’s predatory animal-like pacing and ogling as well as Harpo’s
horn blowing and whistling come to mind.
Specifically, I recall reading that a prime fan base for
their 1930s and ‘40s movie popularity was the new immigrant and the working
classes. The article helped me see the
obvious: the brothers, especially Groucho,
Harpo, and Chico, invariably generated laughs by outmaneuvering, frustrating,
or skewering rich, establishment if not aristocratic types, men and women
alike. If their movies did not close
some of the existing class-cultural status gaps, at least for a time in the
mind of a filmgoer this “band of brothers” helped bring the high and mighty
down to earth. Of course, we now know,
and not simply by movie ticket sales, that laughter and emotional catharsis are
very good head and heart medicine!
A Method to Mirth and
Madness
But the essay’s purpose is not simply a “laughter as best
medicine” message; actually, my goal is to show that using humor and generating
laughter, especially through playful, nonverbal and exaggerated communication can
open heads and hearts. (Okay, call me a
Marxist). And that this slightly larger
than life, emotion-laden interchange helps build channels of meaning,
connecting, and sharing, even in the face of decided language and cultural
barriers. As I once penned, People are less defensive and more open to a
serious message gift-wrapped with humor!
And you don’t necessarily have to be lampooning those of different
statuses and cultures. Healing humor can
come to life by poking good-natured fun at our own universal, all-too-human
flaws and foibles.
All of which brings me to a very recent experience: my leading a 40-minute Stress Resilience and
Mental Health Focus Group co-sponsored by the national Be Well Initiative (BWI)
and ASIAN Community Services of Cleveland, OH.
There were seven community members and three staff, including an
interpreter. The community members were relatively
new Nepali and Bhutanese Nepali immigrants and refugees dealing with all manner
of relocation, transition, and everyday stress, including the challenge of
English fluency. Some of the attendees
are also grappling with fairly recent “ethnic cleansing”-type post-traumatic
stress. Parenthetically, based on
numerous discussions with people from Nepal over the past six months, Nepali
Culture, in general, does not encourage open discussion of issues or emotions related
to stress and mental health. Such
behavior is often see as jeopardizing traditional values of family harmony and
honor. Actually, I believe a number of
cultures have a similar refrain: Don’t air your dirty laundry! (I have previously shared my involvement with
the post-earthquake evolution and mission of Be Well Initiative.)
Improvising Strategy
I had arrived a bit early and witnessed an English-speaking
staff person itemize the health education and social-acculturation programs
that the ASIAN Center would be sponsoring in the upcoming weeks and
months. The speaker’s words were duly
translated as group members, sitting upright, listened respectfully, alas with
little facial expression. I quickly
realized that this kind of formal, one-way information delivery process was
just what I wanting to avoid, or at least minimize.
The ASIAN staff thought my segment was going to start with
people taking the BWI health survey.
Fortunately, I didn’t bring any.
After expressing my relief, I said my goal is to have us, and especially
the Nepali group members, talking with each other. Conscious of the translation process, I began
to speak in shortened sentences, yet sending messages very much from the heart. (I recall when traveling in Europe many moons
ago, when speaking far from polished French, I would talk louder in the hopes
of being better understood. Now I seemed
to be loading brief messages with feeling in the hopes of better capturing and
connecting.)
I asked if people knew the word “stress.” Initially there was no connection but, as the
translator elaborated, people recognized the concept as being part of their
lives. We still hadn’t reached the level
of spontaneous sharing I was seeking. It
was time for my “Three ‘B’ Stress Barometer Exercise”: How does your “Brain, Body, and Behavior”
tell you when you are under STRESS! (I was now beginning to employ some
exaggerated verbal and nonverbal communication.) I tried breaking the group in two smaller
groups, but the idea of having a recorder in each group to capture their
individual stress items was an impediment to group flow.
Breaking Out of the Translation
Box
I don’t know if it was a touch of ADD, impatience, or just
trusting my gut that some dramatic flair was needed but, with the translator in
action, I suddenly jumped up and began to illustrate the “B”s: a) pointing to my temple for “Brain,” b)
sliding my hands along my “Body,” from head to toes, and finally c) miming
being behind the wheel of a car, driving furiously, blasting my horn, with an
intense, angry, stressed out expression on my face, for “Behavior.” People laughed; they got it.
The translator and I agreed to forego immediate translation
and just let the group respond to the question.
And participation increased steadily.
Once or twice the translator addressed a quiet participant, which
usually facilitated some sharing. My curiosity
got the best of me as laughter periodically broke out from the increasingly
animated group discussion. Responses
noted were common to my typical Stress Resilience programs – headaches, body
aches, trouble sleeping, sadness, loneliness, etc. I even pointed to my mostly bald pate and
said, “See…stress!” One more time
producing smiles and giggles. Once again
there was confirmation of the laboratory research discovery that misery doesn’t
just like company…it especially likes
miserable company! ;-)
After acknowledging the seriousness of stress on our
physical and mental health, I’m not sure the exact sequence, but I mentioned
the importance of having a “stress buddy.”
I then explained the concept of a military spouse pairing up with
another stateside spouse to better manage personal and family stress when their
husband (or wife) leaves for overseas combat.
Physically,
Provocatively, and Passionately Engaging the Audience
Now a somewhat older woman mentioned having a friend with
whom she converses to help with her stress, to talk out her problems. I immediately jumped out of my chair and gave
her a gentle yet big hug! Another round
of smiles and energy flowed throughout the room. (One of the Program Coordinators, an Asian
fellow, later admitted he was surprised by the amount of laughter from a group
typically more reserved if not stoic.)
Finally, I singled out the lone middle-aged male in the
room, asking why there weren’t other Nepali men present. After attempting to rationalize that they
might be busy with work or families, this individual explained that he was here
because he loved to learn new things that would help him adapt to his new
surroundings. Naturally, I shook his
hand, then I made a somewhat skeptical face and wondered if many men don’t like
talking about stress or their feelings.
Upon declaring they want to appear “tough,” I then crossed my arms in
front of my chest, put on a scowl…and the knowing laughter ensued.
With time running out, I concisely shared BWI’s goals of
running more Focus Groups and having community members, like the present
gentleman, (who also acknowledged that neighbors seek him out for talk and
counsel) be trained as informal, peer-to-peer Be Well Facilitators in the
community. Not only does such an
individual provide a caring ear and shoulder, countering some of that previously
mentioned isolation and angst, but this facilitator can help direct others to
the community center for more formal or professional assistance, resource
information, etc.
I closed by asking if people found our group session useful
and enjoyable. The smiles and nodding
head responses were resounding! All I
can say is, Amen and women to that!
Take Home
Communication Lessons: Mining and Miming
the Marx Brothers
Not speaking Nepali and pretty frustrated by the slow-moving
and stilted nature of the group translation process, I took matters into my own
hands, body, voice, and nonverbal mannerisms.
At the same time, the folks in the room were a key part of the
“show.” Let me identify the structured
and spontaneous, verbal and especially nonverbal, expressive forms of
communication-engagement employed and their trust- and bridge-building
impact. I will also include a “group art
therapy-type” exercise that, in the past, successfully facilitated open sharing
around stress and conflict issues with international travel agents. Many of these individuals, too, were not
especially comfortable publicly talking about emotions, especially when
speaking English.
So stay tuned for Part II:
Key Expressive
Nonverbal-Visual Forms of Communication
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and
"Psychohumorist" ™, is a former psychotherapist and Stress &
Violence Prevention Consultant for the U.S. Postal Service. The Doc is a Trauma Debriefing and Critical
Incident Consultant for variety of organizations, including the national
post-earthquake, Nepali Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative. He has led
numerous transformative -- silo-breaking and communications bridge-building --
Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for US Army
Senior Officers and Sergeants. He also provides international Stress
Resilience and Burnout Recovery Phone-Skype Coaching.
The Doc is the author of Practice
Safe Stress: Healing and Laughing in the
Face of Stress, Burnout & Depression and The Four Faces of
Anger: Transforming Hostility and Rage
into Assertion and Passion, and Resiliency Rap: The Wit and Wisdom
of the Stress Doc. His award-winning, USA Today Online
"HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a
"workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). Email stressdoc@aol.com
for more info.
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