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Thursday, December 17, 2015

Using Nonverbal Mirth and Madness to Bridge the Language-Culture Divide

Becoming a Marxist (i.e., the Groucho Variety):  Part I

Years ago, I perused an article in an airline magazine about those comic geniuses, the Marx Brothers.  This comedic clan, of course, was known for their zany antics and outlandish appearance – think Groucho in his oversized tux or Harpo’s trench coat, more warehouse than outer garment – as well as all manner of nonverbal gestures, exaggerated movements, and pratfalls.  Groucho’s predatory animal-like pacing and ogling as well as Harpo’s horn blowing and whistling come to mind.  In addition, of course, there was Groucho’s celebrated quips and skewering wit along with the absurdly psycho-logical, side splitting, dialogic routines between Groucho and Chico.  The humor substance and style of the Marx Brothers was an outrageous marriage of the visual and the verbal.  Anyway, enough of my reverie…

Specifically, I recall reading that a prime fan base for their 1930s and ‘40s movie popularity was the new immigrant and the working classes.  The article helped me see the obvious:  the brothers, especially Groucho, Harpo, and Chico, invariably generated laughs by outmaneuvering, frustrating, or skewering rich, establishment if not aristocratic types, men and women alike.  If their movies did not close some of the existing class-cultural status gaps, at least for a time in the mind of a filmgoer this “band of brothers” helped bring the high and mighty down to earth.  Of course, we now know, and not simply by movie ticket sales, that laughter and emotional catharsis are very good head and heart medicine!

A Method to Mirth and Madness

But the essay’s purpose is not simply a “laughter as best medicine” message; actually, my goal is to show that using humor and generating laughter, especially through playful, nonverbal and exaggerated communication can open heads and hearts.  (Okay, call me a Marxist).  And that this slightly larger than life, emotion-laden interchange helps build channels of meaning, connecting, and sharing, even in the face of decided language and cultural barriers.  As I once penned, People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor!  And you don’t necessarily have to be lampooning those of different statuses and cultures.  Healing humor can come to life by poking good-natured fun at our own universal, all-too-human flaws and foibles.

All of which brings me to a very recent experience:  my leading a 40-minute Stress Resilience and Mental Health Focus Group co-sponsored by the national Be Well Initiative (BWI) and ASIAN Community Services of Cleveland, OH.  There were seven community members and three staff, including an interpreter.  The community members were relatively new Nepali and Bhutanese Nepali immigrants and refugees dealing with all manner of relocation, transition, and everyday stress, including the challenge of English fluency.  Some of the attendees are also grappling with fairly recent “ethnic cleansing”-type post-traumatic stress.  Parenthetically, based on numerous discussions with people from Nepal over the past six months, Nepali Culture, in general, does not encourage open discussion of issues or emotions related to stress and mental health.  Such behavior is often see as jeopardizing traditional values of family harmony and honor.  Actually, I believe a number of cultures have a similar refrain:  Don’t air your dirty laundry!  (I have previously shared my involvement with the post-earthquake evolution and mission of Be Well Initiative.)

Improvising Strategy

I had arrived a bit early and witnessed an English-speaking staff person itemize the health education and social-acculturation programs that the ASIAN Center would be sponsoring in the upcoming weeks and months.  The speaker’s words were duly translated as group members, sitting upright, listened respectfully, alas with little facial expression.  I quickly realized that this kind of formal, one-way information delivery process was just what I wanting to avoid, or at least minimize.

The ASIAN staff thought my segment was going to start with people taking the BWI health survey.  Fortunately, I didn’t bring any.  After expressing my relief, I said my goal is to have us, and especially the Nepali group members, talking with each other.  Conscious of the translation process, I began to speak in shortened sentences, yet sending messages very much from the heart.  (I recall when traveling in Europe many moons ago, when speaking far from polished French, I would talk louder in the hopes of being better understood.  Now I seemed to be loading brief messages with feeling in the hopes of better capturing and connecting.)
 
I asked if people knew the word “stress.”  Initially there was no connection but, as the translator elaborated, people recognized the concept as being part of their lives.  We still hadn’t reached the level of spontaneous sharing I was seeking.  It was time for my “Three ‘B’ Stress Barometer Exercise”:  How does your “Brain, Body, and Behavior” tell you when you are under STRESS!  (I was now beginning to employ some exaggerated verbal and nonverbal communication.)  I tried breaking the group in two smaller groups, but the idea of having a recorder in each group to capture their individual stress items was an impediment to group flow.

Breaking Out of the Translation Box

I don’t know if it was a touch of ADD, impatience, or just trusting my gut that some dramatic flair was needed but, with the translator in action, I suddenly jumped up and began to illustrate the “B”s:  a) pointing to my temple for “Brain,” b) sliding my hands along my “Body,” from head to toes, and finally c) miming being behind the wheel of a car, driving furiously, blasting my horn, with an intense, angry, stressed out expression on my face, for “Behavior.”  People laughed; they got it.

The translator and I agreed to forego immediate translation and just let the group respond to the question.  And participation increased steadily.  Once or twice the translator addressed a quiet participant, which usually facilitated some sharing.  My curiosity got the best of me as laughter periodically broke out from the increasingly animated group discussion.  Responses noted were common to my typical Stress Resilience programs – headaches, body aches, trouble sleeping, sadness, loneliness, etc.  I even pointed to my mostly bald pate and said, “See…stress!”  One more time producing smiles and giggles.  Once again there was confirmation of the laboratory research discovery that misery doesn’t just like company…it especially likes miserable company!  ;-)

After acknowledging the seriousness of stress on our physical and mental health, I’m not sure the exact sequence, but I mentioned the importance of having a “stress buddy.”  I then explained the concept of a military spouse pairing up with another stateside spouse to better manage personal and family stress when their husband (or wife) leaves for overseas combat.

Physically, Provocatively, and Passionately Engaging the Audience

Now a somewhat older woman mentioned having a friend with whom she converses to help with her stress, to talk out her problems.  I immediately jumped out of my chair and gave her a gentle yet big hug!  Another round of smiles and energy flowed throughout the room.  (One of the Program Coordinators, an Asian fellow, later admitted he was surprised by the amount of laughter from a group typically more reserved if not stoic.)

Finally, I singled out the lone middle-aged male in the room, asking why there weren’t other Nepali men present.  After attempting to rationalize that they might be busy with work or families, this individual explained that he was here because he loved to learn new things that would help him adapt to his new surroundings.  Naturally, I shook his hand, then I made a somewhat skeptical face and wondered if many men don’t like talking about stress or their feelings.  Upon declaring they want to appear “tough,” I then crossed my arms in front of my chest, put on a scowl…and the knowing laughter ensued.

With time running out, I concisely shared BWI’s goals of running more Focus Groups and having community members, like the present gentleman, (who also acknowledged that neighbors seek him out for talk and counsel) be trained as informal, peer-to-peer Be Well Facilitators in the community.  Not only does such an individual provide a caring ear and shoulder, countering some of that previously mentioned isolation and angst, but this facilitator can help direct others to the community center for more formal or professional assistance, resource information, etc.

I closed by asking if people found our group session useful and enjoyable.  The smiles and nodding head responses were resounding!  All I can say is, Amen and women to that!

Take Home Communication Lessons:  Mining and Miming the Marx Brothers

Not speaking Nepali and pretty frustrated by the slow-moving and stilted nature of the group translation process, I took matters into my own hands, body, voice, and nonverbal mannerisms.  At the same time, the folks in the room were a key part of the “show.”  Let me identify the structured and spontaneous, verbal and especially nonverbal, expressive forms of communication-engagement employed and their trust- and bridge-building impact.  I will also include a “group art therapy-type” exercise that, in the past, successfully facilitated open sharing around stress and conflict issues with international travel agents.   Many of these individuals, too, were not especially comfortable publicly talking about emotions, especially when speaking English.

So stay tuned for Part II:

Key Expressive Nonverbal-Visual Forms of Communication


Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a former psychotherapist and Stress & Violence Prevention Consultant for the U.S. Postal Service.  The Doc is a Trauma Debriefing and Critical Incident Consultant for variety of organizations, including the national post-earthquake, Nepali Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative. He has led numerous transformative -- silo-breaking and communications bridge-building -- Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for US Army Senior Officers and Sergeants.  He also provides international Stress Resilience and Burnout Recovery Phone-Skype Coaching.
The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress:  Healing and Laughing in the Face of Stress, Burnout & Depression and The Four Faces of Anger:  Transforming Hostility and Rage into Assertion and Passion, and Resiliency Rap:  The Wit and Wisdom of the Stress Doc.  His award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite"www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  Email stressdoc@aol.com for more info.

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