The Stress Doc's
short, smart, and fast-paced quips and sayings, acronyms and aphorisms, witty
ditties and fast-paced Shrink Raps ™ from stress and conflict to creativity
often infused with savvy, if not healing, humor. This collection will
thought-provokingly tickle your head and heart…and may even touch your soul.
MG
Fast
Food for Thought for a Digital Age:
The
Art of Being a Wise Man and a Wise Guy
The subtitle of a text read
a couple of years ago – Are You Being
Heard or Are You Just Making Noise? – decidedly influenced this current
Stress Doc compilation and possible future book. (At minimum, I believe it has potential as a
good bathroom read.) The reality: we live in a world where distraction is
ever-rising and attention spans are shrinking.
So, I’m redesigning the old (and in my mind demeaning), “Keep It Simple,
Stupid” declaration into “The Stress Doc’s New KISS: Keep It Short & Smart!” Drawing on quips sayings, acronyms and
aphorisms, witty ditties and fast-paced Shrink Raps ™, this collection will
thought-provokingly tickle your head and heart…and may even touch your soul. As I’ve previously noted, one aspiration is
to become the Dr. Seuss of Stress for
Adults (and kids of all ages).
And this is but the initial
course: there’s a bunch more juicy
one-liners, as well as “r & r” – raps
and rhymes – in the Stress Doc bag of treats and tricks. Would love to hear if you found the substance
and style of Fast Food for Thought
nourishing. Actually, I hope to pair the
quips with clips (clip art, that is).
What do you think of my expanded vision:
not only as a book (or audio book), but perhaps words and images might be
paired in greeting cards and calendars?
If anyone knows a book agent or a publishing house that might be
interested…I’m all eyes (stressdoc@aol.com) or ears (301-875-2567). To
good adventures, Mark
----------
Mark
Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc ™ and “Word Artist”
Wit and Wisdom of the
Shrink Rapper ™ and Psychohumorist ™
and Originator of the
Concept and Book, Practice Safe
Stress ™,
also, author of Preserving Human Touch in a High-Tech
World,
and Fierce Longing…Fiery Loss: Relearning to Let Go, Laugh &
Love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fast
Food for Thought for a Digital Age:
The
Art of Being a Wise Man and a Wise Guy
The Stress Doc’s New
KISS: Keep It Short (or Simple) and
Smart
A firm “No” a day keeps the
ulcers away, and the hostilities, too!
Do know your limits and
don’t limit your “No’s”!
Fight when you
can
Take flight when you
must
Flow like a
dream
In the Phoenix we
trust!
(The old masthead for “The
Stress Doc’s Notes from a Psychohumorist” ™; and, naturally, after informing an
audience that I am a “Psychohumorist,” my addition: “I’ll let you all decide where the emphasis
on that word
goes.”
The Memorable MISS: Make It Sassy (or Subtle) and
Surprising
We know what the stress
symptom TMJ really stands for: Too Many
Jerks!
Seek the higher power of
Stress Doc humor: May the Farce Be with
You!
Learn to Fail…or Fail to
Learn!
----------
Laughter is the best
tension reliever and sex is second…So if you are having “funny sex” you’re
likely in good shape!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyday Aphormations (a
“word artist” mix of Aphorism and Affirmation)
Amen and women, to
that!
My pithy text after setting
up a dinner date: “Ciao for now, chow
for later!”
Strive High and Embrace
Failure!
There’s no “I” in “TEAM”
but there are two “I”s in WINNING! And
these “I”s can “C”:
Winning teams blend Individual Creativity and Interactive
Community!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SELF
Aphormations
Stress Doc’s Notion of
Self-Actualization
Being your fullest self
without being full of yourself!
Tea for Two: The Narcissist’s Version
You for me and me for
me
Oh, how nurturing you will
be
Forget “to be or not to be”
…
Just simply think of Me, Me, Me!
The Fairy-Tail
Monarch
When it comes to “media
facts”
The Donald follows his bulging
nose.
Despite all the
attacks
He has nothing to
hide
For once
again…
The Emperor has no
clothes!
----------
“S”-Word for
Passion
The “s”-word for “passion” is neither
sex, nor “Senator” (as it once was, in Washington, DC, until Bill Clinton ruined
my joke). And it’s not “silk” nor “soap
opera.” No, the “s”-word for passion is “suffering” …as in the
“Passion Play”: the sufferings of Jesus
or, more generically, the sufferings of a martyr. (Imagine, all this time I never knew my
Jewish mother was such a passionate woman. 😉)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stress Resilience
Acronyms
Are you trapped in a TNT –
Time-Numbers-Technology – Driven and
Distracted Web-World?
Seek the Stress Doc’s
TLC: Tender-Loving Criticism and Tough-Loving
Care
Confronting the Intimate
FOE: Fear of
Exposure
Transforming the Intimate
FOE: Turning Fear of Exposure into the Fun of Embarrassment (a popular,
somewhat revealing, non-“b.s.” (be
safe) workshop exercise
The Stress Doc’s “Get FIT”
Programs: FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking!
Is Your Organization Going
MA&DD (Media Addiction & Digital
Distraction)?; Mothers Against Drunk Driving was going to sue me if I didn’t
add the ampersand)
The Stress Doc’s new
12-Step “AA” Group: Acronyms Anonymous! (Especially relevant if not mandatory for
those living in the Greater Washington, DC area or for folks working for or
involved with government agencies.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Burnout Wit and
Wisdom
Burnout Definition: Burnout is a gradual process by which a
person detaches from work and other significant roles and relationships in
response to excessive and prolonged stress and mental, physical, and emotional
strain. The result is lowered
productivity, cynicism, confusion…a
feeling of being drained, having nothing more to
give!
----------
Bjorn Bored Syndrome (BBS) (for the 1970-80s Swedish tennis
great, Bjorn Borg, who prematurely burned out on the
circuit)
When Mastery x Monotony provides an Index of MISERY!
----------
The BBS
Solution:
Fireproof your life with
variety!
(In contrast to the
aforementioned “b.s.”)
----------
Burnout
Metaphors
The Erosive
Spiral
When academic flashdancing
whirled to a burnout tango!
Burnout Radio Feature:
“Breaking Out of a Hell of a Shell or Don’t Feel Too Sorry for Humpty
Dumpty…He Needed to Hit
Bottom!”
----------
Burnout
Aphormations
Burnout is less a sign of
failure and more that you gave yourself away!
----------
Vital Lesson of the Four
“R”s: If no matter what you do or how hard you try,
Results, Rewards, Recognition, and Relief are not forthcoming, and you
can’t say “No” or won’t “let go” (because you’ve invested so much time,
identity, money, energy, and/or ego in the one right person, one right position,
only one possible or acceptable outcome)…trouble awaits. The
groundwork is being laid for apathy, callousness, and
despair!
Combat Strategies at the
Burnout Battlefront
“Do your eight and hit the
gate; nine to five and stay alive!”
(Battlefield slogan of VA Hospital Head
Nurses)
----------
The only thing more
dangerous than taking a big risk or not taking any risk…is taking a risk while
minimizing the precarious nature of the situation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loss and Letting
Go
Vital Lesson of the Four
“R”s
If no matter what you do or
how hard you try, Results, Rewards,
Recognition and Relief are not forthcoming and you can’t say “No” or won’t
“let go” (because you’ve invested so much time, identity, money, energy, and/or
ego in one right person, one right position, one possible or acceptable
outcome), trouble awaits…The groundwork
is being laid for apathy, callousness, and
despair!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whether the loss is a key
person, a desired position or a powerful illusion, each deserves the respect of
a mourning. The pit in the stomach, the
clenched fists, and quivering jaw, the anguished sobs prove catalytic in
time. In mystical fashion, like spring
upon winter…the seeds of dissolution bear fruitful
renewal.
Feeling Sorry…Feeling Your
Sorrow
There’s a real difference
between “feeling sorry for yourself” and “feeling your sorrow.” When feeling sorry for yourself you are
mostly blaming others. When feeling your sorrow, you are having the
courage to face and embrace your pain.
And there are times when we all need to feel our
sorrow!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally…Letting
Go or
Co-Dependent
No More
Now dawns a new
day
No more beg and
pray
No false self to
betray.
For with vision and
verse
Let me be
terse:
You can’t touch my
core
Like you did once
before.
So, whatever you
choose
For me… nothing to
lose…
I’ve stopped keeping
score
Won’t sing those old
blues
As I finally, yes
really
Show you the
door!
Stress Resilience and
Humor
People are less defensive
and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with
humor.
Ernst Kris: What was once feared and is now mastered is
laughed at.
Stress Doc: What was once feared and is now laughed at…is
no longer a master!
And finally, acknowledging
that the term master, itself, may be controversial: What was once feared and is now laughed
with… likely becomes a
mistress or lover!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Conflict
Poems
Crazy for
“You”
“It’s all your fault”; “You
drive me crazy!”
Sounds like an assault from
a mind that is lazy.
Do not be shy, here’s one
good reply:
“Time after time, I know
you have said it…
Alas, you still give me way
too much credit.”
Losing It…Resting
It
You may think I’m at a
loss
Not having you as a
boss.
But when it’s just
me
Not us or
you…
Please, do not tell me what
to do.
Even when you “know what’s
best”
(Though never quite put to
the test)
Let me flounder;
wait...still better
A request: Geez, Louise…Just let it
rest!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Practice Safe Stress: The
Origin of the Term
In the mid-1980's, I
received a call from an administrator of a Houston law firm. She wanted to know if I could lead a weekend
stress retreat for thirty litigators, primarily male. She quickly issued a warning before I could
respond. The previous year the firm had
contracted with a facilitator who had a "just let it out" style of
leadership. Big surprise...the retreat
turned into a rout.
When you're dealing with
verbal swordsmen like attorneys, obviously if you let it all hang out, with the
size of those legal egos, some of "it" is going to get cut off. (Ouch. I become anxious just thinking about
that!) And the administrator let me know
that Executive Management had made it clear that, with another fiasco, her
bottom was on the line, if not the chopping block.
I tried to reassure her
that I was a therapist, a conflict resolution consultant, and a former Type A,
originally from New York City.
Naturally, living in New Orleans has reformed me. I knew this unusual mix of "Big Apple" and
"Big Easy" made me ready for "Mission Improbable." She still was hesitant. At this point, let me parenthetically add,
that in the mid-1980s, the AIDS crisis was just starting to scarily grab hold of
public consciousness.
I suddenly had an
inspiration. I said with conviction, "I
know what you want. You want a retreat
that is so structured and controlled that it will protect these Type A verbal
swordsmen (you know the 'A' in Type A stands for 'Attorney') from killing one
another. You want a workshop on 'Safe
Stress!'" Well, she erupted. A guy that could make her laugh so much just
couldn't be that fanatic. I knew right
away that I would be the man. However,
she still had to confer with top management.
A month or so had gone by,
and no word from Ms. Administrator. I
decided to call. As soon as I
reintroduced myself, her bummed-out tone made the results predictable. Top management had decided not just to play
it safe; they went for the other big "A" - "Abstinence." The topic of the weekend retreat was
computers. (Of course, these days, with
computers and private chat rooms, never mind safe stress…you virtually need to
practice safe sex.)
Well, at least I got a
humorous story and a cool concept from the whole affair. This had no small consequence. For he who laughs last...lasts! So one message and moral is surely
this: stress can be defused and
interpersonal barriers lowered with understanding based on well-timed humor and
laughter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shrink Rap: The Origin of the
Term
One morning in bed, in a
dream-like state – neither sleeping nor awake – I start musing: “Mark, you’re a therapist, you’ve been a
university professor…what are you doing trying to write rap lyrics” (including
lyrics to a “Black Beauty Contest – “The Electrifying Lady)? And it suddenly hit me: “Of course, you’re into Shrink Rap.” And with the early ‘90s concept of Shrink
Rap, a number of works quickly followed, with a Shrink Rapper twist. After hearing the original “Stress Doc’s
Stress Rap” ™, an African-American lawyer-friend noted: “Oh, so you’re into ‘Aristocratic
Rap.’”
The
Stress Doc’s Stress Rap
When
it comes to feelings do you stuff them inside?
Is tough John Wayne your
emotional guide?
And it’s not just men so proud and tight-lipped.
For every
Rambo there seems to be a Rambette.
So you give up sleep, become wired
and spent
Escape lonely frustration as a mall-content.
It’s time to look
at your style of stress.
You can’t just dress or undress for
success.
Are you grouchy with colleagues or quietly mean?
Hell, you’d
rather talk to your computer machine.
When the smartphone rings, you’re under
the gun
Now you could reach out and really crush someone.
The boss
makes demands yet gives little control
So you prey on chocolate and wish life
were dull, but
Office desk’s a mess, often skipping meals
Inside your car
looks like a pocketbook on wheels.
Those deadlines, deadlines...all that
aggravation
Whew, you only have time for procrastination.Now I made you feel guilty, you
want to confess
Better you should practice the art of “Safe
Stress.”
(c) Mark Gorkin 1992Shrink Rap ™
Productions
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Stress Doc’s Formula
for Natural SPEED
Are you the “poster child” for stress and duress?
Should you try
Prozac? Is it time to confess
To Ebay shopping – which may be a
warning
When you're clicking madly at three in the
morning?
But relax, have no fear...
The Stress Doc is here. So, lay worries to
rest…
Now listen and learn to Practice
Safe Stress! ™
As you sprint to the wire with blood pressure higher
Timeless
mind-body tips to heed
For slowing down, getting feet on the ground
And
building Natural SPEED – Sleep-Priority-Passion-Empathy-Exercise-Diet.
Sleep
Don’t be cheap with your
need for sleep
Maximum learning must be REM deep.
To be a beauty with mental acuity
Not that snooze-button bashing
BLEEP!
For when it comes to daily slumber
All night gaming is dumb and dumber.
You may call me a grouchy old toad:
“Pull the d_ _n plug on ‘just one more’
download.”
Remember, it’s nature’s way
to ebb and flow and help you
grow!
Priorities
"P" stands for "Priority"
You can't do it all every day.
Urgent
means now but important can wait.
Do you know how to "N & N"? –
Just
say "No and Negotiate!"
Now I hope you’ll pardon my asking:
“Must you always be multi-tasking?”
Oh,
it’s just me, honey, your Energizer Bunny.
Running from quiet, your life is a riot.
Hmm…what is that “ADD” masking?
Passion
Another “P”-word is “Passion”
And we’re not talking sex, shoes, or
fashion.
Don’t try to impress, better…
Learn to play chess
Or dig, dream, and dance in your garden.
The “s”-word for “passion” is suffering
As in the iconic “Passion Play”
Sometimes we must do soulful grieving
Sometimes just say: Go ahead…Make My
Day!
Empathy
"E" is for the
"Empathy"
Found in a caring shoulder.
But all give without take is a big
mistake
For now you shoulder a boulder.
Find a stress buddy who knows TLC
Someone honest and self-aware –
One who gives “Tender Loving Criticism”
Yet also takes “Tough Loving Care!”
Exercise
The second "E" is for "Exercise"
Start pumping iron or those
thighs.
You may not need SSRIs.
Try thirty minutes of non-stop spin
For
your mood uplifting endorphin.
DietAnd, finally, "D" is
for a healthy "Diet"
Alas, many would rather die than try it.
To manage
foods so often craved
Grieve, "let go," and then be brave
Sending diet
fads to an early grave.
So eat those fruits and veggies
Try omega fish
and bean protein.
For too much fats and sugar
Excess alcohol and
caffeine
Is a rollercoaster formula
For a brain-fogged and artery-clogged
machine.
When it comes to stress – you’re on the
clock
Who you gonna get – the Stress Doc!
It's time to end this Shrink Rap
With final tips for you –
"A firm
'No' a day keeps the ulcers away, and the hostilities too."
So to lessen
daily woes, "Do know your limits; don't limit your 'No's!"
Ponder this
Stress Doc wit and wisdom
Try to live it day after day:
Burnout is not a
sign of failure
You simply gave yourself away.
Remember, sometimes
less is more
And more is really less.
Balance work and play, faith and
love
And, of course...Practice Safe
Stress!
©
Mark Gorkin 2013
Shrink
Rap ™ Productions
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mark
Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a
nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding
partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali
Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative. Current Leadership
Coach/Training Consultant for the international Embry-Riddle Aeronautics
University at the Daytona, FL headquarters. A former Stress and Violence
Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous
Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.
Presently Mark does Critical Incident Debriefing for organizational/corporate
clients of Business Health Services. The Doc is the author of Practice Safe
Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High-Tech
World. Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com –
was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info, email:
stressdoc@aol.com.
