Early on
in my migration to the Internet, I christened myself AOL’s “Online Psychohumorist” ™. Along with a part-time psychotherapy practice
and the moniker “Stress Doc” ™, I was writing short psychological pieces for both
AOL and Rick Estep’s pioneering jokes/humor newsletter. My stories were infused with a strong dose of
wit and humor. Throw in the myriad DSM-psychiatric
labels strewn on both sides of my family tree…well the title definitely seemed
apt. It certainly helped me “stand
out.” In fact, a health reporter from a
Canadian newspaper called wondering just what an “Online Psychohumorist”
was. She had never heard the
“Psychohumorist” term, let alone an Internet variety. (Btw, this was all happening around 1994-95. Actually, two years earlier, awakening from a
semi-conscious/dream-like state had produced a similar role- and box-breaking
epiphany. What was a psychotherapist-university
professor doing writing rap-like lyrics?
Of course, I was pioneering “Shrink Rap” ™.)
However,
my invented neologism wasn’t simply clever thinking. I had broken out of the semantic box by
integrating two seemingly contradictory knowledge-emotion-role sets – the
serious mind-space of psychotherapy as well as the playfully evocative world of
applied humor. (As outlined in Part II
of this series, perhaps even then I was putting what I now call my new KISS
into action: Keep It Simple and Smart; email stressdoc@aol.com
for the essay.)
And
when wearing a Blues Brothers hat, black sunglasses, and banging a black
tambourine, and prancing around the room while performing a “Shrink Rap” ™, I
can imagine folks speculating on from where the “Stress Doc” had recently
“broken out.” (In fact, most are amazed
at my courage. I simply aver that
despite years of all kinds of therapy, I have just one singular
accomplishment: Absolutely no appropriate sense of shame!)
Being
able to poke fun at my own psyche not only is self-effacing but also liberating,
e.g., I casually say to audiences: “I’ll
let you all decide where the emphasis on the word ‘psycho-humorist’ should go.”
I’m comfortable being out there, fulfilling my existential mission…being a wise man and a wise guy. And I’m standing out even more by being
“Out-Rage-ous”!
Harnessing the “Rage” in Out-Rage-ous
These
days, akin to the newscaster in the classic movie “Network,” a lot of folks are
verbalizing – whether dramatically or more covertly: “I’m mad as hell and I’m not taking it
anymore.”
Clearly,
we need leaders who can reach out to these folks and, as Lincoln hoped, acknowledge
their base pain, (recognize and respond to the political-economic inequality
and moral issues facing the country), and encourage our “greater angels.” We certainly don’t need more communicators
stirring up a hornet’s nest of “buzzin, bloomin confusion” and scapegoating
division. Invariably, the so-called
authority’s self-righteous rant becomes a smoke and mirrors cover for personal
egotism and venom as well as consuming ambitions.
We hunger
for enlightened communicators who will purposefully and compassionately touch
rather than provocatively trigger rage. A
healing and harmonizing leader wants to harness and transform individual and/or
group frustration or aggression into constructive discontent. The aspiring inspiring communicator wants to
turn that aggression into proactive vision, purposeful and hopeful energy, and
collaborative action. Such a challenging
figure believes in breaking down barriers – whether personal or social, mental
or external – in order to build “performance and partnership” bridges of expanded
openness and opportunity, of greater trust, productivity, and team synergy.
Pushing the Boundaries
To do
this may require pushing the boundaries of the predictable and
comfortable. In fact, the Old French
derivation of outrageous is “to push the bounds” or “to be highly
unusual or unconventional”; okay, sometimes it means “being shocking.” One appears unrestrained (if not on the edge)
regarding behavior or temperament.
Not
surprisingly pushing bounds or borders often challenges perspective, e.g., upending
“black or white” assumptions or creating shades of gray in someone’s “only one
right way” world. That is, a key
component of being out-rage-ous involves challenging a person/position
bounded or blinded by rage or self-righteousness or rigid expectations.
A
conscious boundary pusher, not wanting to be arrogantly righteous, often
generates contrast through contradiction, but not by pummeling the head nor by shaming
the heart of a message target. (This
only numbs the brain or eventually fuels more rage.) Remember,
optimal contrast is neither full of rage nor full of itself; it is “out-rage-ous.” Such contrast pushes boundaries until they loosen
up, perhaps reveal a crack in the armor, or even break; but “out-rage-ous”
does not blow up boundaries or bodies for dominance or violence sake. You are trying to have others consider a less
rigid and more open world view. Contrast
used “aware-ily” (with awareness and some wariness, or, even better, playfully
or humorously) is less likely to evoke defensive reactivity; it has a better
chance of stirring a degree of mind-opening cognitive dissonance and
reassessment.
The Other Side of Conflict: Of Four Minds
If not
feeling personally threatened or attacked, a previously one-sided individual may
now tolerate some immediate confusion, and move through initial angst or
discomfort to see another side of contradiction or conflict. Building upon the Free Dictionary, “conflict”
is not only the clash or struggle of individual or social positions or ideas. From a psychological perspective, conflict
is “the opposition between two simultaneous but incompatible wishes
or drives, sometimes leading to a state of emotional tension and thought to be
responsible for neuroses”…but as frequently a generator of mind exploration and
expansion as well as creative expression.
Consider these four insightful and varying shades of – out-rage-ous viewpoints on the mind-expanding power of integrating or
transforming contradiction and conflict:
1. Sign of Vital Intelligence. As F. Scott Fitzgerald penned, and many other
leading scientists and artists have averred:
The test of a first rate intellect
is the capacity to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and
still retain the ability to function.
For example, one should see things as hopeless yet be determined to make
them otherwise.
2. Surprising Example of Wit. National author and humorist, Mark Twain,
further activated and consolidated this “higher contradiction” process by
defining “wit” as the sudden marriage of
ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. (So opposites may attract; how long this
provocative union will last, and whether it will sire any brainchildren…only
tension, some talent, and time will tell.)
3. Challenge for Higher Synthesis and Flow. The tension of opposites – thesis and antithesis – challenges the
mind to achieve greater synthesis, to
integrate contradiction with Janusian perspective. Such a conception reflects the
double-profiled, Roman god, Janus, the mythological figurehead of both leavings
and returns. For psychiatrist and author
Albert Rothenberg, “Janusian thinking” is a Western version of the ancient
East’s Yin/Yang paradoxical perspective, that is, the holistic and synergistic
relating and flowing together of opposing elements or forces.
4. Mind-Body Link across Creative Domains. And 20th c. political
novelist-philosopher and student of creativity, Arthur Koestler, saw a mental
and vocal linkage when connecting unexpected or seemingly disparate ideas or
elements, but not just within the field of wit and humor. Koestler made a cognitive-expressive
association in the arts and sciences as well:
When we suddenly “get it” or “see it”…when appreciating a piece of art
we say, “Ah”; with scientific discovery we exclaim, “Aha”; and when we laugh it
is, “Ha-ha!
Closing
Conflict,
seeming contradiction, and “out-rage-ous”
contrast…all have the potential to be communicative and creative catalysts. To quote John Dewey, 19th century
pragmatic philosopher and father of modern American education: Conflict
is the gadfly of thought. It stirs us to observation and memory; it shocks us
out of sheep-like passivity. It
instigates to invention and sets us at noting and contriving. Conflict is the sine qua non of reflection and ingenuity!
And
I have come up with a moniker, actually, a conceptual tool kit, for “standing
out” and “being out-rage-ous,” for
adding communicational, ideational, and inspirational PUNCH: Passion-(the) Unexpected-Novelty-Creativity-Humor. Will share more shortly. Until then, in F. Scott fashion… be “Out-rage-ous” and Practice Safe Stress!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a
Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and
"Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for
his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies
and major corporations. A training and Critical
Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company,
Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress,
Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed
Services. Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for
the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four
Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com
– called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on
the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free
e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.
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