"Inspiring" Refugee Health Plenary, Preserving Human Touch… Review and Selections: Stress Doc Potpourri

I have mostly been finishing up my next Amazon e-book, Fierce Longing…Fiery Loss:  Relearning to Let Go, Laugh & Love:  Through Resiliency Poetry and Shrink Rap ™.  Hopefully, it will be published sometime in August.  It’s definitely a book from the heart, initiated by pain and loss, yet on the path of healing and hope.

In between, I led a couple of speaking/workshop programs, one for a Lutheran Ministry and, just this past Thursday, a Plenary at a Refugee Summit in Richmond, Virginia.  Both programs got rave reviews.  Let me share the latest testimonials:

Statewide Refugee Mental Health Summit/Richmond, VA; Practice Safe Stress: Using Humor in the Face of Stress, Burnout, and Conflict -- Plenary Speaker; 1 hour; 75 attendees

Jul 8, 2016

MG,

Thank you so much for inspiring our participants in the 3rd Statewide Refugee Mental Health Summit with your wit and humor as well as helping set the tone for the rest of the day.  Your topic Practice Safe Stress: Using Humor in the Face of Stress, Burnout and Conflict was just the right choice.  I believe you have felt their response -- how much they enjoyed it, as well as how much they need it, so they can effectively carry out their job of helping others.  The strength of our initiative depends on these people who champion our cause for refugee mental health. I can’t thank you enough for coming to be our plenary speaker.

Sincerely,

Eva

Eva  P. Stitt, Ph.D.
Refugee Mental Health Analyst
Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Development Services
Office of Cultural and Linguistic Competence
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HI Mark,

It was a pleasure spending time with you and I really appreciated your presentation. I will discuss your presentation with our trainers.  I will keep in touch,

Deborah  C. Moore, RN, BSN, MPH
Nurse Manager II, Senior
deborah.moore@vdh.virginia.gov

Hampton-Peninsula  Health Department
3130 Victoria  Blvd., Hampton, VA, 23661
Office (757)315-3779
416 J Clyde Morris Blvd., Newport News, VA 23601
Office (757)594-7903

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Preserving Human Touch… E-book on Amazon:  Synopsis, Review, and Two Selections

Of course, I’m still promoting my new Amazon e-offering, Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World:  Writings, Raps & Rhymes on Stress Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity.  While certainly not a runaway best-seller, sales continue apace, with six five-star reviews!  Embracing the path of shameless marketing, here are two selections from PHT…:  a) a Q & A written for Workforce Magazine, Workforce Q & A:  Seven Highly Effective Habits of Trust-Expanding Organizations, and b) in light of all the recent shootings, a Resiliency Rap on a tragedy in the workplace:  “Learning from the Fatal Flaw.”

Here’s a brief synopsis and a thought-provoking review:

Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World...

Is Live on Amazon/Kindle:

Writings, Raps & Rhymes on Stress Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity – a Passionate and Playful Mix of Meaning and Magic...and Burnout Battlefield Experience!

Check out the Amazon e-book as well as the provocative cover; please consider reading/reviewing.  Nice price:  $3.99!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01GIPXVH4/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb

Synopsis:  An insightful and inspiring guide for self-discovery and heart-to-heart connection, Preserving Human Touch... is the painful, playful, and soulful outpouring of a one-of-a-kind – stage and page – "word artist."  For example, Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc ™, is pioneering the field of psychologically humorous "rap music," calling it, of course, – Shrink Rap ™ Productions!  (Would you expect any less from a “Motivational Psychohumorist” ™?)  Whether poetry or prose, purposeful or poignant, the language is colorful yet clear – a tapestry of meaningful substance and magical style.  This ingenious synthesis is best captured by the “Stress Doc’s” ™ quest to be the Dr. Seuss of Stress for Adults (and kids of all ages). 

Or as a recent mystery reader of Preserving Human Touch...commented in an Amazon review:

Powerful Stuff!  The StressDoc goes poetic!! For years, Mark Gorkin has been mixing laughter, learning, and lucidity (the Three L's!) in tackling the tough issues of stress manifestations in human encounters. In this wise e-book, Mark applies his considerable poetic talents to diagnose and propose remedies for our love-hate relationship with ever more invasive technology. Ranging from on-the-job burnout to adolescent cellphone fixations, Mark's lyrics strike home at the funny bone, while using his psychological savvy to suggest ways in which we can reassert Mastery over the Machine. It's a unique twist on the self-help book, perfect for those crazy enough to be reading work emails at four o'clock in the morning.

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Workforce Q & A:  Seven Highly Effective Habits of Trust-Expanding Organizations

Q.  Dear Workforce:  How do we repair broken trust? As a facilitator of leadership training, I know trust underlies a foundation of success. But what practical fixes does this entail?

--Trust Deficit, HR training analyst, Colorado Springs, Colorado

A.  In this time of organizational restructuring, rapid operational-technological change and economic uncertainty rebuilding trust is definitely a challenging and not uncommon task.  However, all levels of management can take the lead in this rebuilding process if they follow some basic principles and key strategic steps.  Much of my thinking has been influenced by The Speed of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything, 2006, a book written by Stephen M. R. Covey, the son of the renowned organizational guru and author, Stephen Covey.  In fact, for the son, the foundation of successful leadership is achieving results in a way that inspires trust.  There’s an atmosphere of transparency and two-way communication, and employees believe their talents and efforts are contributing to the present and future success of the company.  A final leadership core practice:  leaders take more than their fair share of blame and give more than their fair share of credit.  Or, as was noted in The Speed of Trust:  when things go well look out the window; when things go wrong look in the mirror!

With the above framework, and the assumption that there has been some recent loss of trust, here are “Seven Strategic Steps for Rebuilding Organizational Trust”:

1.  Hold a Focus Group.  One of the best ways to begin a healing and trust building process is a meeting, or a series of meetings, that allow people to appropriately share their concerns or vent frustrations about people or processes that have contributed to a destabilizing or trust-eroding organizational atmosphere or culture.  Of course, you need a skilled and objective facilitator.  When employees see that management doesn’t get defensive during this exchange and acknowledges broad concerns, participates in a genuine give and take and, in timely fashion, takes meaningful problem-solving steps, trust levels begin to rise.

2.  Acknowledge “Hidden Agendas.”  When possible, “speak the unspeakable,” that is, bring up the 800 lb. gorilla in the room.  Being transparent doesn’t mean you have to put everything on the table, but certainly share appropriate information about problematic issues or about what is and is not in your immediate control, along with what information you do and don’t have.  (These last two issues are particularly salient when there are rumors about a possible restructuring or downsizing.)

3.  Talk Straight and Ask Good Questions.  Try to get to the point without too much digression or over-explanation as this diminishes your credibility with an audience.  When possible do some preparation; precision of language commands attention.  If this is an issue, what keeps you from talking straight – fear of consequences or being wrong, fear of hurting others, wanting to be liked, a duplicitous environment, etc.?  Conversely, ask good questions.  The essence of a good question: a) humility:  “I don’t have all the answers” and b) openness:  “I really would like to hear and learn from your point of view.”  Remember, when a person is communicating with high emotion, he or she likely still feels misunderstood.

4.  Don’t Bad Mouth Others Behind Their Back, Especially Folks No Longer in the Company.  All “behind the back” talk does is fuel employee mistrust:  “What do (or will) people say about me when I’m not around (or when I retire)?”  And if people are talking negatively about a current employee, encourage people to talk directly with the person; offer to mediate (or to find a mediator) when appropriate.

5.  Don’t Overpromise and Under Deliver; Keep Your Commitments.  As I like to say, beware of being motivated by egoals, that is, when your goals are driven less by the needs, demands, resources and challenges of a situation and more by ego and false pride.  Remember, as Covey notes, when you make a commitment you build hope; when you keep a commitment you build trust!

6.  Create a Learning-Trust Building Culture.  In addition to acknowledging a personal mistake in a timely manner, when possible view errors as less a sign of incompetence and more an indicator of inexperience or some immaturity, maybe even boldness.

7.  Extend Trust.  Design rules and procedures for the overwhelming majority of people you can trust.  Grant trust abundantly to those who’ve earned it; extend conditionally to those earning it, while examining the situation, the risk potential and the credibility – for Covey, the competence and character – of those involved for more opportunities to extend trust.

Hopefully, these principles and strategic practices will rejuvenate a climate of trust in your shop and will help one and all…Practice Safe Stress!

(c)  Mark Gorkin  2010
Shrink Rap ™ Productions

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Learning from the Fatal Flaw

In light of another school (or workplace) shooting…

As a Critical Incident Consultant, I’m poignantly aware how unexpected dramas and tragedies lurk behind every corner and crevice of our hearts and minds…and also lie in the shadows of our homes, schools, and places of work.  Out of the quiet, out of The Death of a Salesman closet, Arthur Miller screams:  Attention must be paid!  And sometimes we must risk trusting our gut, risk “overreacting” and being mislabeled, and say something to the right someone…or be the right someone!

Learning from the Fatal Flaw

Did she really take her life over a phone?

Taken from a colleague…now all’s undone!

One woman dead, one torn apart

Guilt spears a throbbing heart

Regret for filing that stolen report

Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?  Who is at fault?

Can one grasp obscure knowledge

On the all too human fatal edge?

To get on the same page, one must leave a stage

Masked by “got it together” pain and rage.

Even with the latest gauge, who knows faux-taupe from beige?

Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?  Who is a sage?

Yet a friend sensed her look, a fearful absent look.

Still her head stayed by the book…

Why didn’t she speak up?

Neither one trusted their gut

“Don’t be a pain in the butt!”

So we doubt?  So we doubt?  So we doubt?

Do we pass in the hall and nod

In a hazy-distant fog

And mouth, “How you doing?”…

But only reminiscing; more simply whistling

Who has time for real listening?

Do your thing?  Do your thing?  Do your thing?

Now so sad; maybe wiser:  are we respecting one another?

Whatever happened to “sister” and “brother”?

Wide-eyed to foreign experience

Energized by expressive variance

Growing through world view deviance.

Will you dance?  Will you dance?  Will you dance?

Is it too risky to share

Without some faith in the air?

Of course, you can’t flip a switch, still

Pull one from a ditch; let another bitch…

The sky’s not falling – more a glitch.

For a culture to be rich, offer a broad-shouldered niche.

Hey, it’s “get real” or be a bust:

Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!  Now they might trust!

© Mark Gorkin  2014

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

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Purpose of the Poem, Power to the Poet

The poem traces the psychological steps and missteps of a workplace tragedy.  When reporting a colleague – a colleague struggling with well-disguised personal issues – has fatal consequences, there are searing emotional repercussions:  guilt, second-guessing, the questioning of motives, etc.  Even superficial civility comes under scrutiny.  Can “sadder yet wiser” translate into “sister and brother”?  Finally, some ideas for grappling with the refrains of “Who is at fault?,” “Who is a sage?,” “So we doubt,” “Do your thing,” and “Will you dance?”  Most important are closing strategies with “trust”-building potential.

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Discussion Questions

1.  Have you ever taken an action with which you’ve had regret?  Have you faced your emotions and/or the other person(s)?  What did you learn from the experience?

2.  Have you ever sensed someone being in pain or trouble and not spoken up?  What contributed to your silence?

3.  In a submarine study on problem-solving, it was found that the most diverse groups invariably came up with most creative problem-solving solutions.  Why might this be the case?

4.  How would you create a more trusting climate in a classroom or with a team?

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative.  A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.  The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info, email:  stressdoc@aol.com.