When Fifteen Times Four Equals One Hundred and Four: A Politico-Mathematical Riddle

Like so many, I had a paradoxical mix of reactions to the Orlando mass killing:  1) first I was startled and sickened, and 2) I quickly sealed over; just another day, week, or month in the US of A.  But as my anger smoldered, I read something that revealed a common thread.  Then my brain came up with an ironic twist, ala Tom Lehrer, ‘60s Harvard physicist, piano-playing political-satirical lyricist.  Initially, the mathematical riddle may prove somewhat confusing…but, please, bear with my little irony.  To say any more would spoil the game!

On the other hand…more than ever we seem to need, Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World: Writings, Raps, & Rhymes on Stress Resiliency, Burnout Recovery, and Digital Sanity.  My e-book on Amazon is generating some strong reviews.  Please check it out:

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When Fifteen Times Four Equals One Hundred and Four:

A Politico-Mathematical Riddle

Warning:  This verse may be hazardous to the ironically-impaired!

It’s time for a lesson

Today’s times table session:

When does 15 x 4

Equal one hundred and four?

Do I have your attention?

It’s a life and death question.

AR(e) you ready to play havoc with me?

Here’s a clue:  go waste the “e parentheses.”

Okay, to solve this critical problem

Sing the fiery national anthem

Shout that “Red BULL” slogan:  Go ahead…Make My Day!

Of course, bow down to the new guard – the NRA. 

Now, putting two letters in front of 15

Makes you more than Clint “lean-and-MEAN.”

I gave you a hint, a few lines above:

Enough of this hippie ‘60s peace and love!

Perhaps I’ve been too clever by half

Ready to give this game-poem the shaft?

But wait…just kill the (e), grab that AR

Now you can do damage from near and afar.

AR is tactical

Who needs an ARmory

AR is radical

You are your own ARmy.

AR is surgical

Can rip open an ARtery.

AR is mystical

Crazed crusader ARtistry.

For AR alone seems but a trifle

But AR-15…makes an ASSAULT RIFLE!

AR + XM ** and all types in between

You too can be a mass murder machine.

Now I said 4 but who’s keeping score?

In fact…46 mass shootings since 2004. ***

While religious terror is in the design

But so too VTech and, of course, Columbine.

But from our four…oh what liberal furor

Starting with Newtown and then Aurora.

A workplace party in San Bernadino

A gay nightclub in Disney’s Orlando.

(Oh yes, that black church in Carolina.)

The Second Amend is starting to trend

We all have a right to buy a “best friend?” ****

With a cool option for the street hunting scene

A high capacity killer magazine!

15 x 4 may not equal sixty

When 15 x 4 totals all those dead bodies.

So when is the next rapture of wrath?

15 x 4…Just do the math!

AR is tactical

Who needs an ARmory

AR is radical

You are your own ARmy.

AR is surgical

Can rip open an ARtery.

AR is mystical

Crazed crusader ARtistry.

**  XM – BushmsterXM15 was the automatic weapon used in the Aurora, CO killings

***  2004 – According to June 16, 2016, “Make It Stop:  Boston Globe tweets every mass shooting victim since 2004” (when the assault weapons ban expired), there have been 47 mass shootings and 411 people killed; another news source cited 46 shootings

****  “best friend” – AR-15 has been called “the mass murderer’s best friend”

©  Mark Gorkin  2016

Shrink Rap ™ Productions

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer, and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health & Wellness Initiative.  A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army.  The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World.  Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info, email:  stressdoc@aol.com.