Turning an Everyday Moment into Interactive
Magic: A Stress Doc Vignette
You never
know when an everyday encounter can turn into a magical – “play it forward,
sideways, as well as up-and-down” – moment…like yesterday. I had just completed a first-time exploratory
business meeting with a counselor colleague at a Panera’s restaurant. We were discussing the possibility of developing
training and workshop and retreat programs.
The meeting was pretty lively; a mutual sharing of experience and
skills. Still it’s hard to truly capture
one’s stage presence sitting at a restaurant table, though I did sing a line or
two from one of my Shrink Raps ™. (You
can’t take me out anywhere.) Actually, Ms.
J got it! On a similar dynamism wavelength,
we were already contemplating next steps.
Having
completed our brainstorm, I carried my tray to the waste receptacle. Out of the blue, a Panera employee, a 20-something
African-American male with dreadlocks, began helping me deposit my
utensils. (I’m assuming I wasn’t
mistakenly throwing my tray or knife in the landfill slot.) I thanked him, then turning to J, said, “We
need to figure out where we’ll meet for our next brainstorm.”
Well
Millennial Man was right there, suddenly declaring, “You should come back right
here for that next meeting.” My reply,
“You’re good. They should have you in Marketing
or Public Relations.” He grinned and
said, “I know. Tell my boss.”
Now it
was my turn not to miss a beat. I asked
for his boss’ name and if he was around.
Right after saying, “Sean,” he said, “There he is behind the counter.” I immediately called over Sean, introduced
myself as a satisfied customer and then captured the above, saying, “You’ve got
a fine young man over there,” pointing to our protagonist. (Our young star was already walking behind
the counter.) Continuing with the
manager, “Your employee heard me ask my colleague (at this point, J was
watching, eyes widened with mouth slightly ajar) about our next meeting
location. This young man immediately
began encouraging us to come back for round two. I think he’s a Customer Service/PR
natural.” Sean smiled and thanked me,
and when I turned around to leave there was Ms. J with a grin on her face. Hey, it’s fun being a little outrageous!
Moral/Morale of the Story
This
morning recounting the vignette with my friend Rod, a Pastor and Counselor, he
hit the nail on the head, observing, “This was a win-win-win-win!” Let’s
itemize the array of positives:
1. The
Initiating Millennial Man. Our protagonist
demonstrated initiative; not once, but twice.
First by helping me dispose of my tray and then, paying attention to my
remark, he transformed my floating in the air question into a welcoming
invitation. The young man also
demonstrated confidence by agreeing with my “You should be in marketing”
assessment. And while I’m not sure if he
was merely being playful, I took seriously the suggestion to speak to his
manager. It seems reasonable to presume
that my actions, especially providing immediate feedback to the manager, were
reinforcing this young’s man sense of self-efficacy. Hopefully, I’m also encouraging future attentive/responsive/take
charge behaviors.
2. The
Surprised Manager. I sensed Sean, the Manager, was a bit
concerned when I called him over, perhaps expecting some kind of
complaint. Now his expectations were
turned upside down; in fact, his shop and, especially, one of his employees
were being singled out for uncommon service.
Actually, Sean’s initial surprise (and relief) only elevates the power
of my message, and likely its halo effect.
Hopefully, this initial encounter expands the communicational bandwidth
between Manager and Millennial Man.
3. An
Amused (if not Amazed) Colleague. Things
happened so quickly, it was only in hindsight that I sensed the impact potential
of this three-way encounter on one interested observer, i.e., Ms. J. In my Performance Artist World, trying to
describe what you do never equals “walking your talk.” However, a pregnant moment sprung to life
from the casual exchange with my young cohort. Our brief interplay was spontaneously transformed
into a public, larger-than-life stage. I
suspect Ms. J truly grasped she would be performing with a dynamic partner who
would take an opening or opportunity and, not just walk, but run with it.
4. A
Mindful and Manic Stress Doc. Perhaps
all those years living in “The Big Easy” helped nurture a playful, outrageous, side. And surely my experience as a public speaker
who often improvises with an audience, also fueled that 0 to 60, touched with manic response. (Thank you Kaye Redfield Jamison, author of Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic
Temperament. Actually, there’s also
some genetic fuel adding to this man’s fire.)
And, of course, it felt good being an advocate for a deserving worker
bee. (I also realize in the pace and
excitement of the moment, I forgot to ask the young man his name. My bad!)
Finally,
another reflective realization involved my initial encounter with Millennial
Man. Not only was I surprised by his
sudden appearance at the disposal station, but his dreadlocks immediately
caught my attention. (Was it a racial-cultural
thing; was it a function of just being a Boomer?) However, my focus quickly shifted to an
appreciation of his sly yet self-assured banter. Maybe the takeaway is to again remember that
articulate, take charge personalities come in all sizes and shapes, as well as
all genders, generations, and colors. Amen and women to that!
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW,
"The Stress Doc" ™, a nationally acclaimed speaker, writer,
and "Psychohumorist" ™, is a founding partner and Stress Resilience
and Trauma Debriefing Consultant for the Nepali Diaspora Behavioral Health
& Wellness Initiative. A former Stress and Violence Prevention
Consultant for the US Postal Service, he has led numerous Pre-Deployment Stress
Resilience-Humor-Team Building Retreats for the US Army. The Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Preserving Human Touch in a High Tech World. Mark’s award-winning, USA Today Online
"HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – was called a
"workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info, email: stressdoc@aol.com.
