Capturing and Captivating No Matter the Setting: Mastering the Interview Process and Training the Trainer

Two pieces on how to capture and captivate, whether during an interview (an essay) or as a public speaker-trainer-educator (a program blurb-objectives on Training the Trainer and Educator: Informing and Inspiring through Passion Power & Interactive Humor).  Enjoy!

Mastering the Interview Process: Turning (and Dancing On) the Tables

After reading a colleague’s essay on how companies can better manage an interview process, my Janusian nature, quick to discern both (or multiple) sides of an issue, fairly jumped out of its skin, declaring, Au contraire!  How about the interviewee strategically, if not outrageously, stealing the evaluative show?  (FYI, Janus, is the double-profiled ancient Roman God.  The god of beginnings and endings, leavings and returns, gazes left and right simultaneously.)

Actually, I had been quietly percolating on this subject ever since an HR Professional at a Washington, DC Public Charter School recently commented on my unique approach to being interviewed.  Meeting with her, her boss, and the COO of the school, my mission was clear:  to convince the troika that the “Stress Doc” ™ was the best person to deliver a training workshop on “Managing Conflict” to school administrators, faculty, and staff.

My method, apparently, was compelling.  Actually, the HR Pro (who I’ll call Z), in a post-workshop chat, acknowledged that my unexpected methodology was outside her realm of “interview” experience, and certainly made an impression.  Let me illustrate.  Almost from the outset, not letting the encounter settle into a predictable Q & A rhythm, I suddenly turned the interview into an interactive performance-learning lab.  More specifically, I challenged them to play my “Four Faces of Anger” Game.  Basically, it was a word association to constructive or destructive, purposeful or spontaneous expressions of anger.  Instantaneously, the room became alive with energy and expectation:  I definitely had their attention and all were wondering where this quirky fellow was taking them?  This instructor-expert was challenging his “students” to think on their feet.  (I was no longer the only person in the room being evaluated.)  And no matter the responses, some encouraging if not affirming feedback was provided…The first rule of “how to make friends and influence people.”

And to prove I was not a one-hit wonder, we jumped into a second exercise.  I had the HR folks pair off:  one had just given an important presentation at a board meeting; her colleague was to give her feedback.  In the instructions, it appears that the feedback will be balanced; the reality is quite different.  Her colleague, reading from a sheet that I quickly scripted, the presenter hears, Wow, you fumbled the data.  I thought you said you prepared!  While the first exercise mostly challenged the head, this one definitely massages both head and heart!

And finally, the COO’s use of the word “compromise” as a conflict-resolution ideal became my cue for introducing the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory.  The five styles are based on the “high” or “low” degree of an individual’s “Assertiveness” and “Cooperativeness:  Competition-Avoidance-Accommodation-Collaboration-(and in the middle)-Compromise.  While each style has positive and negative aspects, I differentiated my ideal – “Collaboration” (High Assertiveness and High Cooperativeness) – from middle-of-the-road “compromise.”  Compromise is quick and dirty, a convenient agreement.  Collaboration takes time and energy as you uncover hidden ideas, agendas, and emotions, allowing difference and diversity to spark short-term conflict for evolving creativity.  Another potential payoff:  an opportunity for real buy-in and to forge productive partnerships.

And, in fact, during the interview process we had generated some synergy:  not only had the individual pieces/people created a whole greater than the sum of the parts, but magically the parts had begun building a partnership.

Actually, there were two final steps – first, homework was assigned:  I would write-up a program draft with objectives based on our discussion, and the interview team would solicit staff to further shape our workshop focus.  Then I ended the meeting giving all a small sample of my pioneering efforts in the field of psychologically humorous rap music…Shrink Rap ™ Productions!

Key Structures and Strategies for Capturing the Interview Process

1.  Quickly take charge of the interview process

2.  Initially, don’t be afraid to puzzle your audience, or to be a bit edgy or quirky

3.  Actively engage interviewers in some structured (even if spontaneous) learning exercise

4.  Turn the interview process into your planned and improvisational stage

5.  Make sure the “audience” is part of the show

6. While an educational and entertaining experience, give the interviewers a chance to “show off’ their knowledge and expertise; as Ernest Becker, acclaimed American philosopher, observed, The most important human urge is the desire to feel important!

7. Make it easy for the interviewer or interview team to imagine you as a dynamic performer-contributor in whatever your future role-assignment with the company or organization: Stand Out, Don’t Just Be Outstanding!

8.  Assign post-meeting tasks that encourage follow-up

9.  Between the interview and your “start date,” share and discuss new or evolving information and ideas

10.  And finish with a memorable close, one that has both pith and punch, that is, the Stress Doc’s “New KISS” – Keep It Short & Smart!

Oh yes, a little “lagniappe”:  The process generates real synergy – the individuals begin working as a motivated and coordinated team!

Some tips to help you Practice Safe Stress before, during, and after an interview.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Training the Trainer and Educator: Informing and Inspiring through Passion Power and Interactive Humor

In a TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – Driven and Distracted World, getting and holding people’s attention is critical.  Capturing your audience is necessary, but still not sufficient.  As noted by a Diversity Consultant and Program Coordinator for Human Resources of Palm Beach County, FL, the local SHRM affiliate:  (The Stress Doc ™) has a way of captivating the audience and makes them want to hear more…a must hear!

When information inspires and inspiring methods inform, then the Director of Diabetes Education, Mercy Medical Center/Baltimore, acclaims:  Great presentation. It really inspired me to improve my own presentation skills and brainstorm with my coworkers how to make our diabetes education classes more fun.

Have no fear…Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc, acclaimed speaker, author, educator, therapist, Stress Resilience Consultant, and “Psychohumorist” ™ is here to share his experience and expertise.  Help your folks “Get FIT” – through FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking – speaking, training, and workshop methods and programs.  Enable your organization or company trainers and educators to be informative and inspiring…and to share the wealth of stimulating and strategic ideas and exercises with potential learners.  Actually, the Doc’s “how to” blend of mind-jolting concepts and dynamically engaging small-large group exercises is for anyone that wants to be a more compelling leader-communicator.  Or for a leader that wants to build more productive, better communicating and coordinating teams.

Whether in a one-hour keynote or a two-day (or more) intensive, let the Doc boost your team or your company to the creative learning-performing edge!

Objectives:  Dynamic Dozen

[This menu can be adapted to your specific time logistics and learning needs]

1.  The Five “A”s of Arousing Communication: Attention-Anticipation-Animation-Activation-Actualization

2.  Opening Techniques for Quickly Capturing an Audience’s Attention…and Wondering, “What’s Next?”

3.  Harnessing the Power of “Self” and Dealing with Group Process to Hold, Captivate, and to Build Trust

4.  Imparting Concepts (& Power Points) with the Stress Doc’s “New KISS”:  Keep It Short & Smart!

5.  Turning Key Concepts into Playful and Powerful Group Exercises for Applied-Integrated Learning

6.  Discover the “Stress Doc’s 5 ‘P’s of Passion Power”:   Generating a More Compelling Presence & Creative Essence – being Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful-Philosophical

7.  Using Healing & Harmonizing (esp. Self-Effacing) Humor without being a Stand-up Comic

8.  Helping the Audience Generate Its Own Playful and Powerful Sharing Experiences:  The Art of Storytelling and Group Drawing; Transforming Angst and Aggression into Artful Absurdity

9.  Fielding Difficult Audience Questions; Dealing with Challenging Audience Members

10. Defining the Role of the Individual and the Group to Maximize Brainstorming

11. Group Reflection on Learning Achieved and Gaps, and Techniques/Tools for “Saving the Retreat”

12. Designing an “M & M” – Memorable and Motivating – Close…and Have Them Wanting More!

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You!

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc.

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  The Doc is a training and Stress Resilience Consultant for The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group.  He has also led “Resilience, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Productively Focusing Job Interview-Performance Anxiety: Transforming “Perfection” into Purpose, Patience and Possibility

[This article was written with the permission and in consultation with the below-mentioned phone-coaching client.]

Once again, through the wonder of the Internet, I've had a chance to connect with a bright, insightful and articulate individual. Our email interaction began when Barbara, (a fictional name), discovered one of my writings, and we now periodically exchange ideas. Married and in her 40s, Barbara is a government employee, an HR professional for a mid-sized, Mid-Atlantic city. She’s been an in-house consultant to the police department for a number of years. Recently, Barbara has applied for a management position in the department. However, her application is hardly a slam-dunk. Assigned to the police department, as an HR employee she’s seen as an outsider, and also viewed as a “worker bee,” not necessarily management material. (As a government employee, Barbara has not been a full-time manager, though in her consulting position she has been involved in management activities such as recruiting and performance review.)

In light of the job application uncertainty, Barbara inquired about a phone coaching session with the “Stress Doc.” Having had a number of successful coaching experiences, I was delighted to get started. The voice-to-voice encounter only confirmed and further elucidated my impression gleaned from the written word. Clearly, this was a very competent and “likes to get things done” woman who nonetheless had some issues with performance anxiety. (Barbara believes she has a good relationship with the Police Chief. She herself did not mention gender bias as a cause for job interview concern, though, in light of the specific department and the ultimate group interview gauntlet, one cannot entirely dismiss the possibility.)

Another factor noted in her self-questioning was a double-edged relationship with a father who had a somewhat perfectionist personality. While Barbara’s father was a model for high-achievement striving, perhaps another consequence was the oft-hovering voice, “Prove yourself!” And sometimes, such a voice (or, at least, our internalized version) is never fully satisfied, resulting in a seemingly Greek God-like mythological drama. With strained (mental) muscles and perspiring brow, you quietly curse the huge, precarious boulder, pushing and exhorting it up the mountain…alas, never quite reaching the summit. Unable to defy the forces of gravity (nor the angry gods), the boulder invariably reverses course, and rumbles down to the base. Still, not one to give up easily, once again you screw up the courage for the daunting – if not Sisyphean – task ahead.

Actually, Barbara successfully jumped a number of preliminary hoops in the interview process, which crawled on for several months. Finally, notification arrived that she had earned a ticket to the group interview arena. And again Barbara emailed for another coaching session.

Birds of a Feather – Freeze, Fly High and Finally Learn to Focus

Barbara quickly revealed a mature and rational side: “No matter what happens with the interview, I’m glad I went through the process.” She learned much from the experience, including strengths and vulnerabilities of key decision-makers in the department, and articulated heretofore insufficiently recognized facets and talents. She felt more visible. Still, the odds were not necessarily in her favor; Barbara believed there typically is a preference for an “outside” candidate. This reminded me of the old saw about a “consultant”: “Someone who’s an expert from somewhere else.”

At the same time, angst was apparent with the plan for her husband to videotape an interview rehearsal. Something in my gut and memory bank said this was overkill. I agreed with the idea of practice trials and feedback from her husband. My concern about the videotape was having Barbara become so self-conscious about her appearance, gestures and other nonverbals, so caught up in a memorized script, that her quite evident knowledge and experience, her personal-professional stories, would not naturally flow.

To make sure I wasn’t simply projecting, I shared with Barbara my “stage fright” experience taping my first health segment for Cox Cable, New Orleans in the ‘80s. Totally self-preoccupied, I spoke in thirty second bursts and then my brain would freeze. This scenario was repeated several times before I mercifully completed the segment. Just as I was ready to flee the scene, one of the cameramen suggested we review the tape. He cut off my face-saving protest with, “Don’t worry, we’ll be able to use this for our blooper special.”

“Thanks, pal.” Actually, through the magic of TV editing the final product was only half bad. (As we left the production truck, I’ll never forget the producer’s closing words: “I don’t expect perfection…just improvement each week.” Along with a silent sigh of relief, she also got my attention.) And my health segment continued for two seasons. Still, I didn’t want Barbara to unnecessarily put herself in such a self-conscious space.

Becoming a Wise, Not Just a Wily Coyote

Another performance stress association came to mind: this time, helping a trial attorney harness his anxiety when presenting before a jury. While still winning many of his court cases, he was becoming increasingly self-conscious and self-doubting. (He too had a perfectionist father, though his could be rather critical.) I recalled how this attorney (let’s call him John), would try to hide his angst with a bold opening argument. This approach proved a dysfunctional ploy; within a minute, being an “impostor” was the overriding self-perception. The image I shared was of the cartoon characters Roadrunner and Wily Coyote. The Coyote is chasing Roadrunner to the edge of a cliff. The roadrunner leaps off and the “Not So Wily One” does the same. And for a few seconds, Old Wily is pumping furiously with bravado, still expecting to capture his nemesis when, suddenly, he looks down. Now, big trouble panic races across the Coyote’s face…as he crashes down to earth.

I had to help this attorney learn to start with more moderate and realistic expectations, to be more genuine, that is, to help him understand that some performance anxiety is actually necessary for productive focus and heightened performance. Revealing some start-up anxiety is not unnatural, unmanly or self-defeating. Even Olympic ice skaters don’t lead with a triple axel. One warms-up with easier moves and then “slowly but surely” builds momentum.

I recalled how John said to me, with too much intensity in his voice, “Mark if I can just do what we’ve discussed, I know I’ll do well.” I immediately confronted John’s rigid and perfectionist tone, and reaffirmed that I just wanted him to gradually, to more gently apply some of the tools and techniques. He didn’t have to hammer out mastery all at once. And, in fact, John eventually reported doing much better in the courtroom. His exact words: “If I don’t get anything else out of this therapy, it will have been worth it!”

Laughing at the “Birds of Worry”

In a follow-up email, Barbara indicated that the Roadrunner story and an old Chinese aphorism, also shared on the phone, had been particularly helpful. The aphorism goes as follows: “That the birds of worry fly above your head, this you cannot help. That they build nests in your hair, this you can do something about!” (I recall the pithy saying evoking hearty laughter. Perhaps Barbara was already anticipating the sage observation of psychiatrist, Ernst Kris: What was once feared and is now mastered is laughed at. And as the Stress Doc inverted: What was once feared and is now laughed at is no longer a master!)

Apparently, Barbara’s (nest-free) interview performance reflected her talents and experience, along with the meaningful practice and emotional integration. Perhaps she was also feedback-fortified with a quick boost of focus and confidence. While waiting for the final verdict, she had already received some informal positive feedback from members of the interview committee. (I’ll keep you posted on her job search journey.)

Hopefully, this article will help you get a better handle on anxiety and on applying tools for enhancing self-perception and presentation no matter the performance arena. Feel free to email or call if you’d like more info on a voice-to-voice/coaching perspective. Best wishes and good adventures for the New Year. And, of course…Practice Safe Stress!


Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote & kickoff speaker, webinar presenter, as well as "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the "Doc" is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing "Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building" programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services. Mark has also rotated as a Military & Family Life Consultant (MFLC) at Ft. Campbell, KY. A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.