Humor Intelligence (HI): The Art of Healing, Harmonizing, and Being Heroic

A New Stress Doc ™ Concept and Applied Model

Building on the foundational concept of Emotional Intelligence, the Stress Doc proposes a compelling upgrade...

Humor Intelligence (HI):  The Art of Healing, Harmonizing, and Being Heroic

A New Stress Doc ™ Concept and Applied Model

Last week's blog -- "How to Talk to the Bully: Be Courageously Absurd and Use the Power of Metaphor:  Part II" -- highlighted two humorous interventions -- a) helping a child defuse hurtful teasing by classmates through courageous use of costuming and b) loudly skewering and momentarily disarming through sly wit a Terminator movie audience outraged (e.g., throwing objects at the screen) by a projector breakdown.

Link for "How to Talk to the Bully": Parts I and II: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/how-talk-bully-disarming-workplace-bullying-mark-gorkin/edit

Regarding the first vignette-intervention, one reader rightly expressed concern about the effects of using self-effacing humor in the face of bullying.  Will the immediate positive effects last or will the strategy boomerang, ultimately providing more bully fodder than food for thought.  These are questions certainly worthy of further reflection and study.  Sometimes, though, a momentary or small break in a paralyzing or vicious cycle opens a window.  For example, helping the youngster creatively and humorously address the presenting problem enabled mother and child to expand the therapeutic focus:  we now were able to move beyond the child's peer difficulties and engage healthy mother-child separation issues.  Clearly, both realms impact self-image, stress levels, and self-competence.

In fact, reader responses across the spectrum appreciated the healing, educational, and motivational power of humor.  Here's a brief feedback sample:

7/20/15

Mark this is so great. I was having this conversation with a Sikh community member who mentioned this. I will share this with him and other members. Thanks much,

SP

Executive Officer, Office of Asian and Pacific Islander Affairs

Iowa Department of Human Rights

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7/22/15

Great article-will use some of your pointers in my next training class.

TAG
Deputy EEO Officer at Department of the Navy

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7/23/15

I so enjoy your blogs and look forward to them in my linkedin mailbox!!!! You make me laugh!!!!!! Laughing is the BEST; it's so underrated!!!!!! Take care and keep bringing joy to so many lives!!!

CCH
Former Nurse Manager 

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This feedback along with recent brainstorming with a colleague really got the neurons firing.  I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to see the obvious.  Perhaps the omnipresent and ever-popular EI concept helped open the floodgates.  And reviewing some of my past writings made me realize I've been cultivating this idea...a strategic concept just waiting to see the "light" of day.  Hey, I've had the service mark to the term "Psychohumorist" ™ and have pioneered the field of psychologically humorous rap music -- Shrink Rap™  Productions -- for over twenty years.  Let's just say I finally had a little "Aha!" humor epiphany

So here it is, my new HI speaking and training program -- for keynotes and after dinner talks to two hour or two day trainings.  First is the program blurb followed by brief and then comprehensive program objectives.  If you have questions, any feedback, or would like more info, please email, stressdoc@aol.com.  As I like to say:

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You!

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Humor Intelligence (HI):  The Art of Healing, Harmonizing, and Being Heroic

A New Stress Doc ™ Concept and Applied Model

Are you ready to take the next step beyond self-regulation and relationship building of Emotional Intelligence?...Critical in a 24/7, TNT -- Time-Numbers-Technology -- driven and distracted world.  If so, acclaimed speaker and “motivational psycho-humorist” ™ -- the Stress Doc ™ has the next generation concept and tool -- Humor Intelligence ™.  Consciously and adaptively using HI is not just self-affirming and self-regulating (humor is a great stress reliever); you will assist and inspire individuals, teams, and systems to:  a) laugh at their own flaws and foibles, egos and excesses, b) turn pain and conflict into purposeful and passionate, even playful, problem-solving, c) discover and design resilient "crystals" in challenging tasks and times, and d) diversely collaborate and synergize by blending individual creativity and interactive community.

Let the Stress Doc facilitate your EI to HI upgrade with this "Get FIT" -- FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking -- Workshop, and especially his "Dynamic and Interactive Humor" group exercises.  Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You!

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc.

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Program Objectives

• The Science, Art, and Functions of Humor:  Humor Is Good for What AILS You

• Laughter, Letting Go, and Disarming Bullies and Power Struggles:

• Key Tips and Techniques for Becoming a Healing Humorist

• Passion Power Model:  Being Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-PLAYFUL

• Confronting Your Intimate FOE:  From Fear of Exposure to Fun of Embarrassment

• Humor and the Work Team – Harnessing and Harmonizing Coordination, Morale and Productivity

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Humor Intelligence (HI):  The Art of Healing, Harmonizing, and Being Heroic

Comprehensive Outline/Objectives

A.  The Science and Art of Humor Overview

Distinguishing Healing vs. Hostile Humor:  Freud Quotes

Linking Emotional Intelligence and Humor Intelligence

Harnessing Hope;  Helen Keller and Mark Twain Quotes

Fusing Memory, Mastery and Mirth:  Ernst Kris and Stress Doc Quotes:

B.  Functions of Humor:  Humor Is Good for What AILS You

A = Arousal and Affiliation, Aggression and Absurdity

I  = Incongruity, Imagination, and Insight

L = Loss, Letting Go, and Liberation

S = Storytelling and Status Shifting Solidarity or Superiority

C.  Laughter and Letting Go

1.  Comedy and Tragedy:  Paradoxical Connection

2.  Embracing Surprise, Confusion, and Uncertainty

3.  Transforming Pain Into Purpose, Play, and Passion

4.  Self-Effacing Humor:  Taking Off the Mask, Making the Music

D.  Four Tips and Techniques for Becoming a Healing Humorist

1.  Distinguish Humor, Wit, and the Doc's "New KISS"
2.  Learn to Reframe:  Mirror, Mirror... and "Forms Funeral"

3.  Be Aware of Context, Play with Content; Serenity Prayer

4.  Be Vivid and Visual, Surprising and Self-Effacing; "Butterball Gambit"

Disarming Bullies and Power Struggles:

1.  Turning "Rage" into the "Out-Rage-ous

2.  Defusing Power Struggles Exercise

3.  Six "C"s of Power Struggles

4.  The "Egoal" Difficulty in Dropping the Rope

Stress Doc's Passion Power Model

1.  An Integrative Mindset-Moodset Model:  Cognitive-Affective and Gravitas-Comedia

2.  Five "P"s:  Being Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful = Philosophical

3.  Bringing a Creative and Compelling -- High Task and Human Touch -- Presence

4.  Identifying Strengths and Shadows and Applying the "Passion Power" Model

Confronting Your Intimate FOE
From Fear of Exposure to Fun of Embarrassment

1.  From Cultural Diversity to Mutual Humanity

2.  Misery, Mastery, Mirth and Memory Connection

3.  Distinguishing Neurotic Humiliation from Natural Embarrassment

4.  Putting on Your Life Jacket & Protective Vest; Team Chemistry; "AAA"

Benefits of Transforming Intimate FOE

Rapid and Real, Intimate and Mutual Sharing

1.  Accept Our Imperfections

2.  Embellish and Reframe Your Story

3.  Affirm Courage and Mastery

4.  Accessible, Self-Effacing & Spirited Leader

Humor and the Work Team – Harnessing and Harmonizing Morale and Productivity

1.  Reversing Departmental Resistance to Change (or "Thinking Out of the Coffin")

2.  Disrupting Escalating Group Tension When Consensus Is Critical

3.  Defusing Tension in a System-Wide Hazardous Condition

4.  The Most Popular Stress Doc Intervention:  3-"D" -- Discussion-Drawing-Diversity -- Team- and Community-Building Exercise

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You!

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc.

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A former psychotherapist, “The Doc” is a training and Stress Resilience Consultant for the national, Atlanta-based company, TrainingPros and The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group.  He has also led “Resilience, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service and is a recognized Critical Incident/Trauma Debriefing expert.  The Stress Doc is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

How to Talk to the Bully: Five Strategic Tools, Techniques, and Tips

Now that we have a definition of bullying and some key psychosocial conditions that encourage this often demeaning, ego- or power-driven, and manipulative process, let's continue with the final segment...How to engage and set limits on the bully and bullying interaction by employing absurdity and metaphor:

Ø  Be Affirming with Realistic Expectations

Ø  Be Courageously Absurd and Use the Power of Metaphor

Ø  Announce an Intention to Bring in a Third Party

Ø  Facilitated Confrontation or Conflict Mediation

Ø  Purposefully Walk Away to Fight Another Day

  

2.  Be Courageously Absurd and Use the Power of Metaphor.  A quick review of synonyms for "absurd" include ridiculous, silly, strange, illogical, meaningless, bizarre, and incongruous.  If "reasonable" is its antonym, then absurd, while "unreasonable," may also border on the paradoxical and the imaginative if not the "out-rage-ous."  And creatively transforming fear and paralysis is one way to surprise an antagonist while nurturing hope, heart, and courage!

Years back, I was engaged in some family therapy with a single mother and her ten-year old son.  Curtis,  a quiet, shy, overweight artistic youngster hardly saw his father.  Not surprisingly, he was emotionally tied to his mother.  The presenting problem was that kids in his class frequently teased Curtis, calling him a "Big Butterball Turkey" (then a popular TV commercial product).  With eyes downcast, he nodded when asked if this bothered him.

Early on in the interview Joanne mentioned that the school psychiatrist thought  she really had the problem; Joanne made a point of saying she was not going back to see him.  It was clear:  mom was putting me on notice!  I recall acknowledging my needing her as a consultant to help me work with Curtis.

Just so happened,  it was approaching the end of October and a wild notion hit me:  prefacing my idea as a bit strange, I asked:  "How about for Halloween going to school dressed as a Butterball Turkey?  Predictably, mom quickly dismissed the idea, saying the kids would just tease him.  When I countered, this was going on anyway...I asked Curtis what he thought.  For the first time, giving me hope, his eyes animated the heretofore mostly dour countenance.  And when I said, "I bet you and your mom could come make a great costume"...even Janice was coming around.  Clearly, mom preferred being part of the solution to being labeled a major problem.  I also affirmed that while taking courage, working as a team, he could do it.

And sure enough...Curtis was the star of the class costume party.  His classmates, being so surprised, instead of laughing at him, were now laughing with him.  Suddenly, in the face of conflict, Curtis saw that by poking fun at himself, he preempted the aggressors.  He made himself less vulnerable, less of a target for teasing or bullying.  The empowering covert message:  "I can tease myself a lot better than you all ever can tease me!"  Magically, being a "Big Butterball Turkey" became a metaphor for being imaginative and daring.  Others' words lose much of their capacity to hurt; they no longer are "sticks and stones."  (As a final aside, I recall eventually turning this therapeutic experience into a circa 19th c., Eastern European, "Wise Old Rabbi" tale, with me in the role of the venerable sage and Benjamin as the young Jewish outcast.   My closing punch line:  You might even say that Benjamin, by being a "Big Butterball Turkey"... was no longer a "Little Kosher Chicken!")

Making Fun of the Frenzied

Here's another unexpected benefit of humor -- the power of distraction.  The setting:  seated in a movie theatre about to watch Terminator II: Judgment Day.  Actually, the lights had just turned dark in the theatre and Terminator I highlights were on.  Suddenly, a technical difficulty occurred.  The sound went off and the picture kept rolling.  Well, as you would expect from a Terminator II crowd, the audience was a model of patience and civility.  Yeah, right!!  The place started erupting.  People are whistling, shouting, stomping their feet and, very quickly, throwing everything you can imagine.  It's getting a little scary, especially as there's no sign the projectionist or theatre management have a clue.  An impulsive idea hits.  I take a deep breath, screw up my courage, stand up (with objects whistling about me) and shout:  Terminator III: The Movie Audience!

Well, I must have had an impact, as the bedlam slows and laughter breaks out.  I had momentarily distracted the mayhem...just long enough, luckily, for the technical glitch to be repaired.  I consider this one of my most dramatic group and clinical interventions:  getting a Schwartzenagger horde to return to its pre-pandemonium, latent state of aggressive hypermania without resorting to involuntary medication.  Today's moral:  When the unexpected occurs, keep your finger on the absurdity trigger.  You just never know when you'll have to distract a mad creature or quickly disarm a maddening crowd.  Once again, seek the "higher power" of Stress Doc humor: May the Farce Be with You!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A former psychotherapist, “The Doc” is a training and Stress Resilience Consultant for the national TrainingPros and The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group.  He has also led “Resilience, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service and is a recognized Critical Incident/Trauma Debriefing expert.  The Stress Doc is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

The Sound and the Synergy: Leading with Purpose and Passion

This essay on "Synergy" was inspired by two recent speaking programs:  a) Passion Power:  Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity at the June 2015 International Public Management Association (IPMA-HR) Eastern Regional Conference and b) Building Stress and Change Resilience through Humor for ENDependece Center of Northern VA, Disability Advocacy Org.  In a human system, the free-flow of ideas, positive conflict, unexpected happenings, encouragement, etc., provide the foundation for expanded parts-whole synergy.  And experiencing group synergy also helps unleash individual creativity along with interactive community, as these testimonials suggest.  Consider the testimonials and enjoy the essay.

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International Public Management Association for Human Resources (IPMA-HR) -- 2015 Eastern Regional Conference; Passion Power:  Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity; 1.5 hours; 50 attendees

July 13, 2015

Mark Gorkin, aka "The Stress Doc," was a recent presenter at the Eastern Region IPMA annual training and development forum (Jun 2015).  He led the participants on a passionate and creative ride through the topic, "Leading with Passion."  His unique training style was full of surprises and encouraged the participants to "go for it."  Mark was very interactive and he provided extensive materials for the attendees to use as resources.  One of the comments from the attendees was, "Bring him back :>)".

Vicki Arpin, IPMA-CP
2014 Program Committee Chairperson
CT Department of Transportationvicki.arpin@ct.gov
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From a Congressional Senior Staffer:

ENDependece Center of Northern VA; Disability Advocacy Org; Building Stress and Change Resilience through Humor; Staff & Clients; 2 hrs

July 10, 2015

Morning, Mark:

Likewise!  In fact, I enjoyed your presentation so much I was planning to get your contact information from Bob.  Sorry I had to leave before you finished, but I had a ride scheduled that I had to meet.

The immediate thought I had was that your message would be a great complement to the National Rehabilitation Hospital's programs.  I would promote the thought that both, patients and staff, would benefit from your program. So please do shoot me your promo material.

Of course, I have no idea if they have a budget or who they allow to contribute to sponsor presentations such as yours.  However, I am glad to find out and let you know.

Kent

T. Kent Keyser
601 30th Road South
Arlington, VA  22206
703 379-6381
tkentkeyser@gmail.com
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The Sound and the Synergy:  Leading with Purpose and Passion

I wasn't a class clown, by any literal or figurative stretch of the imagination.  As a child, I was mostly socialized to "be good" and not stand out. And, unfortunately, I wasn't a rebellious adolescent.  In my angst-ridden yet also suppressed and academically underachieving teen years I never felt confident let alone cocky enough to take on authority figures or play to my peers.  (Fortunately or not, overt childhood depression was submerged by expending large doses of bottled-up aggression in competitive schoolyard athletics and mindless TV.)  Maybe this helps explain why as a presenter I love being a tad "out-rage-ous," and am mischievously pleased when notified that my room's energy and volume is a distraction for our classroom neighbors.  Though I do make a three-quarter-hearted effort to rein in the excitement.  Alas, not an easy task with a program titled, Passion Power:  Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity.  For once again, this was the scenario at the June 2015 International Professionall Managers Association (IPMA) Eastern Regional Conference.  And, naturally, my ego glows a little brighter when folks come up and say, "I should have been in your session."

Actually, there is a more objective reason I appreciate this "outside" feedback.  It's further verification, beyond my subjective impression, that presenter and audience are creating tangible collective synergy:  not only is the whole greater -- as well as louder and more energetic -- than the sum of the parts...but the parts, especially through the "Get FIT" -- FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking -- small group exercises transform parts into purposeful and passionate partners.  Communicational flow helps a community grow!

Synergy or Bust!

So what key factors facilitate the synergistic -- speaker-audience -- experience?  Interestingly, these factors resonate with my "Five 'A's of Arousing Leadership:

Attention:  Almost immediately say or do something that makes your audience "Stop, Look & Listen."

Anticipation:  Now project some edginess; have people on the edge of their seats wondering "what is this guy (or gal) going to do next?"

Animation:  Share something personal, for example, a story that reveals your vulnerability and flawed yet determined humanity; most important, be a model:  in small groups, have the audience engage in moderately intimate sharing; subsequent exercises can incrementally increase the personal sharing.

Activation:  Orchestrate a series of small and large group discussions that encourage sharing, laughter, the release of aggressive energy, and help people explore or find their own voice along with their common humanity.

Actualization:  Provide a conceptual model for "Higher Self Integration" and an exercise for achievable application; and then close by modeling the model.

Five Steps-Strategies for Speaker-Audience Synergy

Here are key "synergy" steps and strategies from the recent successful IPMA program:

1.  Quickly Establish Your Credibility and Absurdity.  Living in the Washington, DC area, when I do local presentations most in the audience have a federal government connection.  A typical opening:  "My goal is to help audience's 'Get FIT' with a program that is FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking.  And I have my Triple 'A' Method:  grappling with some anxiety, acting out a little aggression, and engaging life's 'slings and arrows' with playful yet purposeful absurdity.  FIT...Triple 'A'...You already know something about me...That I've lived in the DC area way too long.  I'm convinced if you lived in the DC area for a year or more, or you interact at work with the federal government, you should be mandated to a new Twelve Step AA group (of which I'm the founding member):  Acronyms Anonymous!  The knowing laughter indicates the degree of recognition.  Hand waves signal the immediate volunteers.

My follow-up:  "Hey, while we'll have fun, this program is not all fun and games.  I can be tough.  During a stress program, I recall this somewhat pompous State Department Manager challenging me:  'What do you call it if you don't have any stress?'  My rapid counter:  Denial!  Now the group is chuckling if not cheering me on.  (I have their Attention.)

2.  Be Puzzling and/or Risk-Taking; Have the Audience Engage, Even Challenge, You.  After this engaging -- a bit provocative yet empathic and amusing -- opening, I make a 180 degree turn:  What do you think of this guy up here, besides the fact that he's a BMWG -- Bald Man with Glasses?  The effect of this sudden shift in focus is revealed both by the initial silence...then cascading comments.  Most of the responses focus on my energy and obvious "love" of what I do.  Some note my being an attention seeker.  My retort while pointing to myself:  "You know the old saw:  Vanity thy name is Gorkin!  (I have definitely created some edgy Anticipation.)

However, I'll never forget one rejoinder:  "Now you're going to tell us how your were scarred by childhood!"  I laughed, then said, "No, I'll spare you for now," but acknowledged she was insightful.  In fact, this was just the challenging, even caustic comment I wanted to evoke.  When an audience sees you can handle this kind of interaction the trust and safety level in the room increases tangibly.  And this is vital when you are also using such repartee to set the stage for your first self-disclosing group exercise.

3.  Structure a Somewhat Intimate Group Exercise.  Building on the comments regarding my energy level, I show a power slide on "Personal Energy:  Boosters & Barriers" with the following questions:

When do you have your best personal and/or interpersonal energy?

What enables you to express this energy and “go with the flow”?

What factors stifle courageous and creative “head and heart” energy release?

What is the connection between pain, purpose and passion?

Small groups grapple with these questions.  In addition to engaging insights from team members and cultivating a climate of openness and trust, report backs from the teams to the larger audience expand the sharing.  Learning, letting go,  and laughing are also community builders!  (We are surely engaged in a spirited Animation phase.)

4.  Encourage "Letting Go" and Surprise the Group with an "Out-Rage-ous" Exercise.  Next the groups wrestle with the concept of letting go.  "What does it mean to 'let go' within a personal context or an interpersonal relationship?  Provide examples.  What enabled you to 'let go' (the decision or action); what made "letting go" (the process) difficult?"

Invariably, examples of moving on from a toxic job situation and a dysfunctional personal relationship, to the loss of a loved one or a long-sought dream surface.  During the small group sharing and even somewhat in the large group discussion, fears and emptiness are acknowledged; stages of grief are recounted; our vulnerable humanity is embraced.  (These exercises provide "hands on" Activation tools, including "Emotional Intelligence" skills and "hard-earned wisdom" for "letting go," for "voice exploring" and "resilient or creative mobilization.")

I then expand the articulation of "letting go" by engaging in behavior perceived to be deviant, on the wild side, outside a comfort zone, if not a tad "Out-Rage-ous!"  Donning a black Blues Brothers hat and black sunglasses, shaking a black tambourine, I start performing one of my psychologically humorous, Shrink Rap ™ ditties -- this time, Double-Edged Depression.  The words range from the poignant to the playful...and are often provocative (as in mind arousing).  You can't miss the gaping mouths...or the enthusiastic applause upon finishing.  (Of course my riposte:  "I've been doing this long enough.  I know when an audience is applauding out of relief.")

And there is a method to my madness:  First, I'm modeling and activating a dramatic if not daring (okay, maybe delusional) form of "letting go."  I'm preparing us for a liberating moment.  I want the group to experience a version of letting go that's highly personal in an interpersonal -- power struggle -- context.  People pair up choosing a letter, A or B.  Each participant must think of one person, past or present, who is or has been "a pain in your butt."  Person A will say, "You can't make me!"  Person B:  "Oh yes I can!"  Final instructions:  after a couple of "YCME...OYIC" volleys, each is to say what they would really like to say to that "pain in their head (and butt)."  Maybe I should call this the "Butthead Exercise."  ;-)

Not surprisingly, at some point during this exchange, for many folks there is an eruption of laughter.  (When we can both exhibit moderate aggression and also laugh at ourselves, for me, that's one cathartic letting go.  People often comment the venting exercise is stress relieving.  Actually, at a military spouse program, the outpouring was so loud and animated the soldiers in a room across the hall became startled and concerned; they were about to storm into our meeting.)  Perhaps it’s the somewhat artificial and absurd nature of the interaction.  Also, some folks cover up intense emotions, such as angst or aggression, through nervous laughter.  Of course, the spouses had been holding in a lot of emotion for a good while, that is, being "strong" for their "in harm's way" soldier.  The exercise allows them to break out of character and/or role, to engage in a mostly playful yet still purposeful “primal scream,” as it were.  Still, for me, the number of people who get hooked by the battle, who “want to win,” seems significant.  (Hurt and anger if not tempered by some self-reflective humor or acknowledgement of a mutual humanity just may impede "letting go.")

If a mix of vital energy, liberating laughter, and free flowing yet reflective communication is fundamental to relational synergy...we are there!

5.  Provide a Model and Opportunity for Expanding Self-Concept, Confronting the Intimate FOE, and Collaborative-Integrative Flow.  The self-awareness and expression expanding template is my "Five 'P's of Passion Power Model."  This 2x2, Mindset (Cognitive -- Affective) and Moodset (Gravitas -- Comedia) Matrix yields four "Passion Power" cells:

Cognitive-Gravitas:        Purposeful -- attending, understanding, and responding to self and others

Cognitive-Comedia:       Provocative -- viewing conflict as a source of trust, learning, and growth

Affective-Gravitas:        Passionate -- transforming pain into practice, progress, and possibility

Affective-Comedia:       Playful -- humbling, healing, and harmonizing diverse ideas and people

(Email stressdoc@aol.com for my writings on The Four "P"s of Passion Power.)

And the integration of these Ps spawns a Five "P" Model, that is, engaging the Philosophical (the exploration of inner and outer/individual and team spirit and wisdom).

Passion Power Model in Action

Initially, I have small group members identify themselves within the Four "P" framework:  which of the "P"s -- Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful -- is a "strength" and which is a "shadow" (an underdeveloped emotional-communicational muscle)?  Next "strengths" and "shadows" pair up and share what helped turn a "shadow" into a "strength."

After small group feedback and large group discussion, turning playfully provocative, I wonder aloud:  "Is it possible to be Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful simultaneously?  The question is a springboard to the closing "Four Word Exercise":  Share an Embarrassing Moment!  Once again the room yis alive with the sound of manic...and Four "P" music to my ears.  Suffice to say when folks "Confront the Intimate FOE":  Transforming Fear of  Exposure into the Fun of Embarrassment, they often bring the Four or Five "P"s of Passion Power to Life, both individually and as synergistic "high task and human touch" team.

And finally, I demonstrate my "Passion Power" as well as a capacity for embarrassing myself by breaking into a closing Shrink Rap ™.  Both the Five "P" model and my being a "Passion Power" model (hopefully throughout the program) has opened a pathway of expanded integration:  an Actualization process for realizing one's fullest self without becoming full of oneself!

Closing Summary

A path and model of the "Five 'A's of Arousing Leadership" as well as generating individual and group synergy has been outlined and illustrated:

"Five 'A's of Arousing Leadership":

Attention-Anticipation-Animation-Activation-Actualization

"Five Steps-Strategies for Speaker-Audience Synergy":

1.  Quickly Establish Your Credibility and Absurdity

2.  Be Puzzling and/or Risk-Taking; Have the Audience Engage, Even Challenge, You

3.  Structure a Somewhat Intimate Group Exercise

4.  Encourage "Letting Go" and Surprise the Group with an "Out-Rage-ous" Exercise

5.  Provide a Model and Opportunity for Expanding Self-Concept, Confronting the Intimate FOE, and Collaborative-Integrative Flow, including the...

"Five 'P's of Passion Power":

Being Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful-Philosophical

This synergy path not only yields "a whole greater than the sum of its parts"...but parts have the potential to become purposeful and passionate partners.  And a little "lagniappe"...a "Passion Power" leader is encouraged to be both "a wise man and a wise guy."  To which I say, Amen and Women!

Mark Gorkin, the Stress Doc ™, www.stressdoc.com, acclaimed Keynote and Kickoff Speaker, Webinar Presenter, Retreat Leader and Motivational Humorist, is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Resiliency Rap. A former Stress & Violence Prevention consultant for the US Postal Service, "The Doc" is also a Team Building and Organizational Development Consultant as well as a Stress Resilience/Wellness Consultant for the international corporate wellness/insurance brokerage group, The Hays Companies. Mark leads highly interactive, innovative, and inspiring programs for corporations and government agencies, including the US Military, on stress and brain resiliency/burnout prevention through humor, change and conflict management, generational communication, and 3 "R" -- Responsible, Resilient & Risk-Taking -- leadership-partnership team building.

Email stressdoc@aol.com for his popular free newsletter & info on speaking programs and phone coaching sessions.