The Sound and the Synergy: Leading with Purpose and Passion

This essay on "Synergy" was inspired by two recent speaking programs:  a) Passion Power:  Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity at the June 2015 International Public Management Association (IPMA-HR) Eastern Regional Conference and b) Building Stress and Change Resilience through Humor for ENDependece Center of Northern VA, Disability Advocacy Org.  In a human system, the free-flow of ideas, positive conflict, unexpected happenings, encouragement, etc., provide the foundation for expanded parts-whole synergy.  And experiencing group synergy also helps unleash individual creativity along with interactive community, as these testimonials suggest.  Consider the testimonials and enjoy the essay.

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International Public Management Association for Human Resources (IPMA-HR) -- 2015 Eastern Regional Conference; Passion Power:  Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity; 1.5 hours; 50 attendees

July 13, 2015

Mark Gorkin, aka "The Stress Doc," was a recent presenter at the Eastern Region IPMA annual training and development forum (Jun 2015).  He led the participants on a passionate and creative ride through the topic, "Leading with Passion."  His unique training style was full of surprises and encouraged the participants to "go for it."  Mark was very interactive and he provided extensive materials for the attendees to use as resources.  One of the comments from the attendees was, "Bring him back :>)".

Vicki Arpin, IPMA-CP
2014 Program Committee Chairperson
CT Department of Transportationvicki.arpin@ct.gov
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From a Congressional Senior Staffer:

ENDependece Center of Northern VA; Disability Advocacy Org; Building Stress and Change Resilience through Humor; Staff & Clients; 2 hrs

July 10, 2015

Morning, Mark:

Likewise!  In fact, I enjoyed your presentation so much I was planning to get your contact information from Bob.  Sorry I had to leave before you finished, but I had a ride scheduled that I had to meet.

The immediate thought I had was that your message would be a great complement to the National Rehabilitation Hospital's programs.  I would promote the thought that both, patients and staff, would benefit from your program. So please do shoot me your promo material.

Of course, I have no idea if they have a budget or who they allow to contribute to sponsor presentations such as yours.  However, I am glad to find out and let you know.

Kent

T. Kent Keyser
601 30th Road South
Arlington, VA  22206
703 379-6381
tkentkeyser@gmail.com
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The Sound and the Synergy:  Leading with Purpose and Passion

I wasn't a class clown, by any literal or figurative stretch of the imagination.  As a child, I was mostly socialized to "be good" and not stand out. And, unfortunately, I wasn't a rebellious adolescent.  In my angst-ridden yet also suppressed and academically underachieving teen years I never felt confident let alone cocky enough to take on authority figures or play to my peers.  (Fortunately or not, overt childhood depression was submerged by expending large doses of bottled-up aggression in competitive schoolyard athletics and mindless TV.)  Maybe this helps explain why as a presenter I love being a tad "out-rage-ous," and am mischievously pleased when notified that my room's energy and volume is a distraction for our classroom neighbors.  Though I do make a three-quarter-hearted effort to rein in the excitement.  Alas, not an easy task with a program titled, Passion Power:  Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity.  For once again, this was the scenario at the June 2015 International Professionall Managers Association (IPMA) Eastern Regional Conference.  And, naturally, my ego glows a little brighter when folks come up and say, "I should have been in your session."

Actually, there is a more objective reason I appreciate this "outside" feedback.  It's further verification, beyond my subjective impression, that presenter and audience are creating tangible collective synergy:  not only is the whole greater -- as well as louder and more energetic -- than the sum of the parts...but the parts, especially through the "Get FIT" -- FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking -- small group exercises transform parts into purposeful and passionate partners.  Communicational flow helps a community grow!

Synergy or Bust!

So what key factors facilitate the synergistic -- speaker-audience -- experience?  Interestingly, these factors resonate with my "Five 'A's of Arousing Leadership:

Attention:  Almost immediately say or do something that makes your audience "Stop, Look & Listen."

Anticipation:  Now project some edginess; have people on the edge of their seats wondering "what is this guy (or gal) going to do next?"

Animation:  Share something personal, for example, a story that reveals your vulnerability and flawed yet determined humanity; most important, be a model:  in small groups, have the audience engage in moderately intimate sharing; subsequent exercises can incrementally increase the personal sharing.

Activation:  Orchestrate a series of small and large group discussions that encourage sharing, laughter, the release of aggressive energy, and help people explore or find their own voice along with their common humanity.

Actualization:  Provide a conceptual model for "Higher Self Integration" and an exercise for achievable application; and then close by modeling the model.

Five Steps-Strategies for Speaker-Audience Synergy

Here are key "synergy" steps and strategies from the recent successful IPMA program:

1.  Quickly Establish Your Credibility and Absurdity.  Living in the Washington, DC area, when I do local presentations most in the audience have a federal government connection.  A typical opening:  "My goal is to help audience's 'Get FIT' with a program that is FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking.  And I have my Triple 'A' Method:  grappling with some anxiety, acting out a little aggression, and engaging life's 'slings and arrows' with playful yet purposeful absurdity.  FIT...Triple 'A'...You already know something about me...That I've lived in the DC area way too long.  I'm convinced if you lived in the DC area for a year or more, or you interact at work with the federal government, you should be mandated to a new Twelve Step AA group (of which I'm the founding member):  Acronyms Anonymous!  The knowing laughter indicates the degree of recognition.  Hand waves signal the immediate volunteers.

My follow-up:  "Hey, while we'll have fun, this program is not all fun and games.  I can be tough.  During a stress program, I recall this somewhat pompous State Department Manager challenging me:  'What do you call it if you don't have any stress?'  My rapid counter:  Denial!  Now the group is chuckling if not cheering me on.  (I have their Attention.)

2.  Be Puzzling and/or Risk-Taking; Have the Audience Engage, Even Challenge, You.  After this engaging -- a bit provocative yet empathic and amusing -- opening, I make a 180 degree turn:  What do you think of this guy up here, besides the fact that he's a BMWG -- Bald Man with Glasses?  The effect of this sudden shift in focus is revealed both by the initial silence...then cascading comments.  Most of the responses focus on my energy and obvious "love" of what I do.  Some note my being an attention seeker.  My retort while pointing to myself:  "You know the old saw:  Vanity thy name is Gorkin!  (I have definitely created some edgy Anticipation.)

However, I'll never forget one rejoinder:  "Now you're going to tell us how your were scarred by childhood!"  I laughed, then said, "No, I'll spare you for now," but acknowledged she was insightful.  In fact, this was just the challenging, even caustic comment I wanted to evoke.  When an audience sees you can handle this kind of interaction the trust and safety level in the room increases tangibly.  And this is vital when you are also using such repartee to set the stage for your first self-disclosing group exercise.

3.  Structure a Somewhat Intimate Group Exercise.  Building on the comments regarding my energy level, I show a power slide on "Personal Energy:  Boosters & Barriers" with the following questions:

When do you have your best personal and/or interpersonal energy?

What enables you to express this energy and “go with the flow”?

What factors stifle courageous and creative “head and heart” energy release?

What is the connection between pain, purpose and passion?

Small groups grapple with these questions.  In addition to engaging insights from team members and cultivating a climate of openness and trust, report backs from the teams to the larger audience expand the sharing.  Learning, letting go,  and laughing are also community builders!  (We are surely engaged in a spirited Animation phase.)

4.  Encourage "Letting Go" and Surprise the Group with an "Out-Rage-ous" Exercise.  Next the groups wrestle with the concept of letting go.  "What does it mean to 'let go' within a personal context or an interpersonal relationship?  Provide examples.  What enabled you to 'let go' (the decision or action); what made "letting go" (the process) difficult?"

Invariably, examples of moving on from a toxic job situation and a dysfunctional personal relationship, to the loss of a loved one or a long-sought dream surface.  During the small group sharing and even somewhat in the large group discussion, fears and emptiness are acknowledged; stages of grief are recounted; our vulnerable humanity is embraced.  (These exercises provide "hands on" Activation tools, including "Emotional Intelligence" skills and "hard-earned wisdom" for "letting go," for "voice exploring" and "resilient or creative mobilization.")

I then expand the articulation of "letting go" by engaging in behavior perceived to be deviant, on the wild side, outside a comfort zone, if not a tad "Out-Rage-ous!"  Donning a black Blues Brothers hat and black sunglasses, shaking a black tambourine, I start performing one of my psychologically humorous, Shrink Rap ™ ditties -- this time, Double-Edged Depression.  The words range from the poignant to the playful...and are often provocative (as in mind arousing).  You can't miss the gaping mouths...or the enthusiastic applause upon finishing.  (Of course my riposte:  "I've been doing this long enough.  I know when an audience is applauding out of relief.")

And there is a method to my madness:  First, I'm modeling and activating a dramatic if not daring (okay, maybe delusional) form of "letting go."  I'm preparing us for a liberating moment.  I want the group to experience a version of letting go that's highly personal in an interpersonal -- power struggle -- context.  People pair up choosing a letter, A or B.  Each participant must think of one person, past or present, who is or has been "a pain in your butt."  Person A will say, "You can't make me!"  Person B:  "Oh yes I can!"  Final instructions:  after a couple of "YCME...OYIC" volleys, each is to say what they would really like to say to that "pain in their head (and butt)."  Maybe I should call this the "Butthead Exercise."  ;-)

Not surprisingly, at some point during this exchange, for many folks there is an eruption of laughter.  (When we can both exhibit moderate aggression and also laugh at ourselves, for me, that's one cathartic letting go.  People often comment the venting exercise is stress relieving.  Actually, at a military spouse program, the outpouring was so loud and animated the soldiers in a room across the hall became startled and concerned; they were about to storm into our meeting.)  Perhaps it’s the somewhat artificial and absurd nature of the interaction.  Also, some folks cover up intense emotions, such as angst or aggression, through nervous laughter.  Of course, the spouses had been holding in a lot of emotion for a good while, that is, being "strong" for their "in harm's way" soldier.  The exercise allows them to break out of character and/or role, to engage in a mostly playful yet still purposeful “primal scream,” as it were.  Still, for me, the number of people who get hooked by the battle, who “want to win,” seems significant.  (Hurt and anger if not tempered by some self-reflective humor or acknowledgement of a mutual humanity just may impede "letting go.")

If a mix of vital energy, liberating laughter, and free flowing yet reflective communication is fundamental to relational synergy...we are there!

5.  Provide a Model and Opportunity for Expanding Self-Concept, Confronting the Intimate FOE, and Collaborative-Integrative Flow.  The self-awareness and expression expanding template is my "Five 'P's of Passion Power Model."  This 2x2, Mindset (Cognitive -- Affective) and Moodset (Gravitas -- Comedia) Matrix yields four "Passion Power" cells:

Cognitive-Gravitas:        Purposeful -- attending, understanding, and responding to self and others

Cognitive-Comedia:       Provocative -- viewing conflict as a source of trust, learning, and growth

Affective-Gravitas:        Passionate -- transforming pain into practice, progress, and possibility

Affective-Comedia:       Playful -- humbling, healing, and harmonizing diverse ideas and people

(Email stressdoc@aol.com for my writings on The Four "P"s of Passion Power.)

And the integration of these Ps spawns a Five "P" Model, that is, engaging the Philosophical (the exploration of inner and outer/individual and team spirit and wisdom).

Passion Power Model in Action

Initially, I have small group members identify themselves within the Four "P" framework:  which of the "P"s -- Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful -- is a "strength" and which is a "shadow" (an underdeveloped emotional-communicational muscle)?  Next "strengths" and "shadows" pair up and share what helped turn a "shadow" into a "strength."

After small group feedback and large group discussion, turning playfully provocative, I wonder aloud:  "Is it possible to be Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful simultaneously?  The question is a springboard to the closing "Four Word Exercise":  Share an Embarrassing Moment!  Once again the room yis alive with the sound of manic...and Four "P" music to my ears.  Suffice to say when folks "Confront the Intimate FOE":  Transforming Fear of  Exposure into the Fun of Embarrassment, they often bring the Four or Five "P"s of Passion Power to Life, both individually and as synergistic "high task and human touch" team.

And finally, I demonstrate my "Passion Power" as well as a capacity for embarrassing myself by breaking into a closing Shrink Rap ™.  Both the Five "P" model and my being a "Passion Power" model (hopefully throughout the program) has opened a pathway of expanded integration:  an Actualization process for realizing one's fullest self without becoming full of oneself!

Closing Summary

A path and model of the "Five 'A's of Arousing Leadership" as well as generating individual and group synergy has been outlined and illustrated:

"Five 'A's of Arousing Leadership":

Attention-Anticipation-Animation-Activation-Actualization

"Five Steps-Strategies for Speaker-Audience Synergy":

1.  Quickly Establish Your Credibility and Absurdity

2.  Be Puzzling and/or Risk-Taking; Have the Audience Engage, Even Challenge, You

3.  Structure a Somewhat Intimate Group Exercise

4.  Encourage "Letting Go" and Surprise the Group with an "Out-Rage-ous" Exercise

5.  Provide a Model and Opportunity for Expanding Self-Concept, Confronting the Intimate FOE, and Collaborative-Integrative Flow, including the...

"Five 'P's of Passion Power":

Being Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful-Philosophical

This synergy path not only yields "a whole greater than the sum of its parts"...but parts have the potential to become purposeful and passionate partners.  And a little "lagniappe"...a "Passion Power" leader is encouraged to be both "a wise man and a wise guy."  To which I say, Amen and Women!

Mark Gorkin, the Stress Doc ™, www.stressdoc.com, acclaimed Keynote and Kickoff Speaker, Webinar Presenter, Retreat Leader and Motivational Humorist, is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Resiliency Rap. A former Stress & Violence Prevention consultant for the US Postal Service, "The Doc" is also a Team Building and Organizational Development Consultant as well as a Stress Resilience/Wellness Consultant for the international corporate wellness/insurance brokerage group, The Hays Companies. Mark leads highly interactive, innovative, and inspiring programs for corporations and government agencies, including the US Military, on stress and brain resiliency/burnout prevention through humor, change and conflict management, generational communication, and 3 "R" -- Responsible, Resilient & Risk-Taking -- leadership-partnership team building.

Email stressdoc@aol.com for his popular free newsletter & info on speaking programs and phone coaching sessions.

The Cultivation of “Passion Power” – Part II: Designing the “Out-Rage-ous”

Part I provided a variety of perspectives on the concept of “Passion – from a critical tool for sales people along with leaders and orators to passion’s oft surprising connection with pain and suffering.  Also noted is the potentially creative connection between passion and emotional memory.  (http://www-stressdoc-com.blogspot.com/2015/01/psychohumor-poetry-and-passion-power.html)

Part II further extends the progression of “telling to selling (or from the dry to the dynamic) to being out-rage-ously compelling.”  Illustrations come through opening bullet points, to a pivotal quote, and, finally, to a story that brings to life the power of poignant and playful passion.  Discover how the Stress Doc help a team in the throes of trauma be reborn though “Gospel Shrink Rap ™” and a powerful group exercise that enables the dead to still “walk the halls” with the survivors.

The Cultivation of “Passion Power” – Part II
Designing the “Out-Rage-ous”

Telling to Selling:  Four Points, a Line, and a Story

To go from telling to selling, to transform the dry into the dynamic, means the data and its packaging must be:

1) seen as having intrinsic and relevant, meaningful and striking characteristics and qualities if not tangible “features and benefits,”

2) placed in a head- and heart-provoking and useful if not significant context that illuminates parts and connects pieces to a whole or gestalt with which people in actuality or in their imagination identify; the data is now truly speaking to your audience; (bonus points if the context is “surprising”), and

3) if the message is designed and delivered in a lively, captivating, and engaging manner.  (And remember, dynamic encompasses a range of energy – from the exciting and forceful to the darkly satirical or playfully droll.)

Additional bonus points if…

4) capable of not just touching one individual but able to pull the head- and heart-strings of a group or community.

 

Bottom line:  “Are you being heard or are you just making noise?!”

 

Finally, to put conceptual flesh on the above skeletal bones, let me share a pretty “Out-Rage-ous” vignette.

 

Amazing Grief:  When Resiliency Magic Springs from the Tragic

 

Once again, magic arose from the ashes of tragedy.  And the magic appeared in separate manifestations of individual and group resilience, one spontaneous, the other planned.  Let me quick-sketch the background.  I was making my second critical/group grief intervention at a social service agency after the unexpected, heart-wrenching and unexpected suicide of a much beloved staff member.  This individual seemed to play a mother or big sister role for many of her multi-generational colleagues.  Not surprisingly, the first time meeting with the group, most were in a state of shock, though several had watery eyes, a few were quietly weeping.

 

The second gathering, three days after my initial encounter, revealed fewer glazed looks; still the mood, understandably, remained somber.  During the opening check-in, a former policeman turned the tables on me.  Seemingly parts inquisitive, parts confrontational, he asked how I dealt with "stress."  Viewing his question as an opportunity to move outside my professional cover, to engage in some personal sharing, I responded, "I like to walk; and I enjoy creative writing."

 

He then asked about my writing.  When I said "poetry," he immediately asked me to share some.  Alas, the performer more than the grief consultant momentarily took the stage.  I mentioned my work as a "Shrink Rapper" ™, which induced a mix of groans and chuckles.  I quickly decided to "rap" the first four lines of a favorite:

 

When it comes to feelings do you stuff them inside?

Is tough John Wayne your emotional guide?
And it's not just men so proud and tight-lipped
For every Rambo there seems to be a Rambette!

After two lines (and the improbability of what they were seeing and hearing), the metamorphosis was palpable – from the relaxing of individual facial expressions to increasing group energy and body movement; several people had started to sway and clap.  By the end of this first stanza their eyes (and my ears) were twinkling (buzzing) with (and from the) laughter.  Now I just blasted through any sound barrier and sang the entire "Stress Rap."  Being "shocked" was no longer just associated with grief.  (Considering that all but one in the group were people of color, most African-American, with hindsight, perhaps this was the birth of "Grief" or "Gospel Rap" or "Gospel Grief Rap."  I have great memories of being electrically if not soulfully charged in many N'Awlins Jazz Fest Gospel tents. ;-).

Jolted to the Light

The enthusiastic applause told me how much this group needed some healing humor and "lightening the mood" laughter.  At the same time, despite the recent trauma, there was clear and reassuring evidence of a vital group pulse.  FYI, their cheers certainly did not reflect my "rapping" talents.  In fact, as a "Shrink Rap" performer, when the show of appreciation dies down, my standard rejoinder:  I can tell when an audience is applauding out of relief.

Now, recovering my consultant mindset, I dispensed with added banter, but noted how our immediate process reflected a truth captured by the pioneering comedic film genius, Charlie Chaplin:

A paradoxical thing about making comedy is that it is precisely the tragic which arouses the funny.  We have to laugh due to our helplessness in the face of natural forces and in order not to go crazy!

The sighs and nodding heads affirmed Chaplin's wisdom.  As I once penned:  "People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor."  Having been jolted with some positive energy, folks seemed more willing to acknowledge feelings of disappointment and regret, even some anger, for a beloved colleague who would no longer inhabit and share their physical space.  Perhaps we were creating a yin-yang/light-dark mind-body flow.  A Stress Doc rule of thumb in helping people evolve through emotional loss and change:  take time for the pain, and then help folks move from negative to positive energy.

Recalling and Committing to the Positive and the Person

As part of the grief intervention experience, the group also would benefit from being reminded of their own individual and collective humility, strengths, and skills.  And, paradoxically, we would do this by focusing on the uncommon qualities of their deceased colleague.  Let me outline the process.  I asked each participant to reflect on one trait of their former colleague that they especially valued or admired.  However, we were not simply doing an inventory.  I also asked for the chosen trait to be one that, moving forward, they would attempt to cultivate or nurture within themselves.  (I'm calling this recognition-realization process "I and I" – Identification and Internalization.   Also, the deceased had loved gardening, so the "cultivation" metaphor was particularly apt.)  Hands sprung up, some people and traits intertwined, and the list steadily blossomed:

1.  Always had a smile on her face; we tackled this one because for some it stirred feelings that she had been mostly wearing a mask.  I suggested that maybe throwing herself into work was one way this woman both felt vitally alive and could escape a more pressured and chaotic outside life.  Yet we agreed…the tragic irony was that while she was always ready with a shoulder for others -- patients or staff -- she was unable to ask for one for herself.  Not surprisingly, this discussion also became a platform for underscoring the EAP (Employee Assistance Program) as an available resource – counseling for personal or family issues, financial counseling, etc.

2.  Many admired how she advocated for people in the program.

3.  She was involved; a team player.  Also acknowledged was that the presence of gossip for some dampened a sense of individual-group trust and involvement.  People agreed this was an issue requiring further exploration.  However, one member liked my challenge:  to evolve from a "little brother" seeking attention to a "big brother" assisting others.

4.  She paid attention to details; her assessments for patients improved their therapeutic regimen.  In fact, we came up with a new operational mantra; I dubbed it the Triple "A":  ATTENTION-ASSESSMENT-ADVOCACY.  I suspect there will soon be a sign or a banner hanging somewhere in the premises.

5.  She was a good friend, who went over and beyond the call many times.

6.  She engaged in volunteer projects; she was a "truly good person" with a "caring and generous heart."

7.  Finally, her dependability was noted; her words were backed by actions.

We then discussed ways of sustaining remembrance beyond a memorial service -- for example, planting a garden in her honor; or creating a scrapbook or bulletin board with stories and pictures, especially ones with staff members.  A second scrapbook might even be offered to her family.  The supervisor was also encouraged to empower a memorial task group for more ideas.

 Closing Commentary and Addendum

The hour was running down; people had to return to their patients.  There was time for one final observation:  I shared the belief that if each person dedicated him- or herself to nurturing the selected trait, two vital chains of events would be set in motion:  first, they would be giving themselves the beautiful gift of remembrance and honor as personal growth; and second, from a larger perspective, their colleague's essence would remain intact.  The collective, "parts to partnership" synergy would provide "life" restoring elan vitale (or "vital force").  While this commitment would never replace her physical presence; her spirit would palpably walk the halls and echo off the workplace walls.  People seemed to exit with a good deal more energy, hope, and possibility – a more resilient spring to their step, as it were – than they had coming in.  We had engaged in a process that transformed the “suffering” into a provocative, passion-driven pain with a purpose (seven spiced my some “Gospel Rap” humor), what I call, and will further illuminate as, “The 5 ‘P’s of Passion Power!”  Amen and women to that!

P.S.  After the group intervention, the previously mentioned former policeman approached me.  He's been talking to a colleague seemingly bottling up some stress.  "And he won't open up!  What should I do?"  My reply:  "How about asking this person if you could check in periodically, maybe once a week, to see how s/he's doing?"  This "old school" guy's reply:  "Oh, I shouldn't try to make him talk."  I smiled and nodded.  The gentleman was displaying some maturity and resilience:   considering a novel, more flexible strategy for dealing with personal frustration and interpersonal boundaries, for relating with and assisting another.  A good way to help one and all...Practice Safe Stress!

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Mark Gorkin, the Stress Doc ™, www.stressdoc.com, acclaimed Keynote and Kickoff Speaker, Webinar Presenter, Retreat Leader and Motivational Humorist, is the author of Practice Safe Stress and The Four Faces of Anger. A former Stress & Violence Prevention consultant for the US Postal Service, the Stress Doc leads one-day "Stress Resiliency" workshops for "METRO" Managers and Supervisors of the Washington Metro Area Transit Authority (WMATA).   "The Doc" is also a Team Building and Organizational Development Consultant as well as a Stress Resilience/Wellness Consultant for the international corporate wellness/insurance brokerage group, The Hays Companies.  Mark leads highly interactive, innovative, and inspiring programs for corporations and government agencies, including the US Military, on stress and brain resiliency/burnout prevention through humor, change and conflict management, generational communication, and 3 "R" -- Responsible, Resilient & Risk-Taking -- leadership-partnership team building.

Email stressdoc@aol.com for his popular free newsletter & info on speaking programs and phone coaching sessions.  And click https://vimeo.com/69053828 for the Stress Doc's wildly pioneering "Shrink Rap" video.

Stress Doc Mantra: "Think out of the box, perform outside the curve (the Bell Curve) and be out-rage-ous!"

“Psychohumor Poetry” and a “Passion Power” Essay

A mix of “Pop” and “Passion” – “Psychohumor Poetry” and a “Passion Power” Essay.  Enjoy!
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Psychohumor Pop:  Poetry with Pith & Punch!

Err Apparent [a bumper sticker perspective]

Consider this slogan, perhaps circumstantial
Perchance an omen – more existential
Or maybe simply how it is done:
To err is human…but to blame someone…
Now that shows management potential!

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The Paradoxical Dream and/or Delusion

 

To bridge the head and the heart

To see an end as a new start
To gain control by letting go
To be so humble yet steal the show
Both oak tree firm and willow nimble
Flowing as one Yin/Yang symbol
To nobly reach a lifetime dream
To be much more than what you seem.
The highest art of any magic –
To find some comic in the tragic.
Oh how to fuse both earth and sky?
Simple:  Be a wise man and a wise guy!
All this is truly hard to do
Except, of course, for "the chosen" few –
The self-righteous who join body and mind
By parading their EGOs up their behind!
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Disarming Egos and Power Struggles

Do you get caught up in power struggles
Mostly cause of big EGO tuggles?
When someone tries pulling your chain
Duh…it doesn’t take too much of a brain…
One simply must pull stronger and longer
When there are only winners and wrongers.
Hey, no matter the name of the game
God forbid you should appear lame!

Black or white, might makes right
Think like me or out of sight.
Good or bad, why so sad?
Get in line…don’t make me mad!

But wait…let’s head off the next migraine
And view this from another frame:
You don’t have to be a saint
All you need: a touch of restraint…
Now who’s being smart…and who just ain’t?
As the other keeps pulling harder and harder
Flexing those muscles or being a martyr
A bit too proud of their stress and strain…

Big or small, we all must fall
If we are to hear our call.
The true path of humble pie:
Stumble, tumble...leap and fly!

Pretend to be a very Mad Hatter
Ready to scuffle, be a little insane…
First a wolf howl, then non-stop chatter…
Enough!  Suddenly smile, your new way to cope
Do the royal wave – your best beatific Pope
I wonder who’ll feel like the big dope
As you, oh so calmly, “Drop the da_n rope!”

One must eat a little crow
To find life’s key:  “Letting go!”
You are more than what you seem
When you allow a “Self” to scheme!

Remember, dropping the rope isn’t based on fear
Nor does it mean you could not less care…and
Despite ranting and rage…at our tender age
Most can’t afford to lose anymore hair.
This kind of struggle is a big waste of time…
Either you and I start using our noodle
And join together for a brain huddle
At least becoming partners in crime
Or I go back and mind my own muddle
Lampooning the world through rhythm and rhyme.
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The Blaming “You”s

“It’s all your fault”; “You drive me crazy!”
Sounds like an assault from a mind that is lazy.
Do not be shy, here’s one good reply –
Looking eye to eye…with tone a tad dry:
“Time after time, I know you have said it…
Alas, you still give me way too much credit.”
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You for Me:  The Narcissist’s Version [to the tune of “Tea for Two”]

You for me and me for me
Oh how nurturing you will be
Forget “to be or not to be”…
Just simply think of Me, Me, Me!
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Losing It

You may think I’m at a loss
Not having you as a boss.
But when it’s just me
Not us or you…
Please, do not tell me what do.

Even when you “know what’s best”

(Though never quite put to the test)
Let me flounder; wait...still better
A request:  Geez, Louise…Just let it rest!


© Mark Gorkin  2014-15
Shrink Rap ™ Productions
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The Cultivation of “Passion Power” – Part I:
On Becoming a Compelling and Engaging Communicator

Several years back, waiting to give a talk on “Passion Power” to a Virginia Chapter of the Society of Human Resources Management (SHRM), an attendee approached, spurred by the program title.  Having been a Sales Manager in another life, he shared a popular slogan from his former profession:  Logic Tells…But Passion Sells!  Perhaps he was a fan of the 17th century French classical writer, Francois La Rouchefoucald.  FLR observed (quoted in Kay Redfield Jamison’s Exuberance:  The Passion For Life, Random House, 2004):

Passions are the only orators which always persuade.  They are like an act of nature, the rules of which are infallible; and the simplest man who has some passion persuades better than the most eloquent who has none.

There wasn’t time for real discussion with the ex-sales pro, but his pithy slogan resonates across many domains – from selling to an external public to servicing, managing, and bringing to life people, policies, and procedures within a corporation or organization.  In my mind, the crux of this mantra has vast implications for whether “message sent is message received”…and acted upon!  That is, “logical information or analysis mostly places “data” on the table.  Whether the data is seen or scanned, picked up and mentally manipulated, toyed or played with (in a positively cognitive-imaginative sense), and finally ingested…eventually providing food if not inspiring fuel for thought… well, that’s a whole other category of experience.  (And in today’s TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – Driven & Distracted World,” just penetrating a perceiver’s consciousness is no small accomplishment.)

“Passion”:  Roots and Boosts

So why does data with an aura of passion or content designed or delivered by a passionate communicator so often touch, grab, and successfully target the head, and especially, the human heart?  What enables this information to become a more compelling and engaging “category of experience?”

Let’s get to the root of the issue…Passion!  What does it evoke?  Intensity, heat, steaminess…the “s”-word:  “soap opera?”  No, of course it’s Sex.  Actually, we in the Washington, DC area know the real “s”-word for passion…It’s “Senator.”  (Or it was until Bill Clinton ruined my joke.)  Interestingly, if you have a good dictionary the “s”-word for “passion” is neither sex nor senator…it’s “suffering,” as in the Passion Play.  This relates to the sufferings of Jesus or, more generically, to the sufferings of a martyr.  (Imagine all this time I never knew my Jewish mother was such a passionate woman!  Not surprisingly, wit and humor often adds to the passion and power of a message.  This booster effect especially holds when these cognitive-affective-communicative tools help us knowingly laugh at and forgive our own human flaws and foibles, or humble and bring down to earth a haughty or all-knowing/controlling EGOtist.)

Leading Edge of Passion

Over the years, the best audience free association to the word “passion” has been “Rosa Parks.”  Which inspires speculation around the connections among “suffering,” “passion” and being a powerful leader or motivator?  For me, it’s an individual who has experienced and is sensitive to injustice or, at least, has a low threshold for “constructive discontent.”  And such a person also identifies and empathizes with her own and others’ pain while articulating this personalized understanding.

Also, the passionate leader doesn’t just recall old wounds or wonders; he or she is capable of learning from the past to better forge new pathways to the future.  Regarding the last point, renowned 20th century English author, John Fowles, called emotional memories his electric current; to maximize his creative juices he needed to be plugged in to this “power source.”  And these creative perceptions and pathways may help lead others to a land of more promise, if not the “Promised Land.”  So when an individual connects past and current passion-pain and then plugs into or partners these two with a sense of individual and communal purpose, an uncommonly fruitful species of common and uncommon power is evolving.

Stay tuned for Part II:  The Cultivation of “Passion Power”:  Improvising the “Out-Rage-ous”.  Until then…Practice Safe Stress!

 

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  The Doc is a training and Stress Resilience Consultant for The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group.  He has also led “Resilience, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.