The Sound and the Synergy: Leading with Purpose and Passion

This essay on "Synergy" was inspired by two recent speaking programs:  a) Passion Power:  Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity at the June 2015 International Public Management Association (IPMA-HR) Eastern Regional Conference and b) Building Stress and Change Resilience through Humor for ENDependece Center of Northern VA, Disability Advocacy Org.  In a human system, the free-flow of ideas, positive conflict, unexpected happenings, encouragement, etc., provide the foundation for expanded parts-whole synergy.  And experiencing group synergy also helps unleash individual creativity along with interactive community, as these testimonials suggest.  Consider the testimonials and enjoy the essay.

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International Public Management Association for Human Resources (IPMA-HR) -- 2015 Eastern Regional Conference; Passion Power:  Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity; 1.5 hours; 50 attendees

July 13, 2015

Mark Gorkin, aka "The Stress Doc," was a recent presenter at the Eastern Region IPMA annual training and development forum (Jun 2015).  He led the participants on a passionate and creative ride through the topic, "Leading with Passion."  His unique training style was full of surprises and encouraged the participants to "go for it."  Mark was very interactive and he provided extensive materials for the attendees to use as resources.  One of the comments from the attendees was, "Bring him back :>)".

Vicki Arpin, IPMA-CP
2014 Program Committee Chairperson
CT Department of Transportationvicki.arpin@ct.gov
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From a Congressional Senior Staffer:

ENDependece Center of Northern VA; Disability Advocacy Org; Building Stress and Change Resilience through Humor; Staff & Clients; 2 hrs

July 10, 2015

Morning, Mark:

Likewise!  In fact, I enjoyed your presentation so much I was planning to get your contact information from Bob.  Sorry I had to leave before you finished, but I had a ride scheduled that I had to meet.

The immediate thought I had was that your message would be a great complement to the National Rehabilitation Hospital's programs.  I would promote the thought that both, patients and staff, would benefit from your program. So please do shoot me your promo material.

Of course, I have no idea if they have a budget or who they allow to contribute to sponsor presentations such as yours.  However, I am glad to find out and let you know.

Kent

T. Kent Keyser
601 30th Road South
Arlington, VA  22206
703 379-6381
tkentkeyser@gmail.com
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The Sound and the Synergy:  Leading with Purpose and Passion

I wasn't a class clown, by any literal or figurative stretch of the imagination.  As a child, I was mostly socialized to "be good" and not stand out. And, unfortunately, I wasn't a rebellious adolescent.  In my angst-ridden yet also suppressed and academically underachieving teen years I never felt confident let alone cocky enough to take on authority figures or play to my peers.  (Fortunately or not, overt childhood depression was submerged by expending large doses of bottled-up aggression in competitive schoolyard athletics and mindless TV.)  Maybe this helps explain why as a presenter I love being a tad "out-rage-ous," and am mischievously pleased when notified that my room's energy and volume is a distraction for our classroom neighbors.  Though I do make a three-quarter-hearted effort to rein in the excitement.  Alas, not an easy task with a program titled, Passion Power:  Inspiring Others with Courage, Clarity, and Creativity.  For once again, this was the scenario at the June 2015 International Professionall Managers Association (IPMA) Eastern Regional Conference.  And, naturally, my ego glows a little brighter when folks come up and say, "I should have been in your session."

Actually, there is a more objective reason I appreciate this "outside" feedback.  It's further verification, beyond my subjective impression, that presenter and audience are creating tangible collective synergy:  not only is the whole greater -- as well as louder and more energetic -- than the sum of the parts...but the parts, especially through the "Get FIT" -- FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking -- small group exercises transform parts into purposeful and passionate partners.  Communicational flow helps a community grow!

Synergy or Bust!

So what key factors facilitate the synergistic -- speaker-audience -- experience?  Interestingly, these factors resonate with my "Five 'A's of Arousing Leadership:

Attention:  Almost immediately say or do something that makes your audience "Stop, Look & Listen."

Anticipation:  Now project some edginess; have people on the edge of their seats wondering "what is this guy (or gal) going to do next?"

Animation:  Share something personal, for example, a story that reveals your vulnerability and flawed yet determined humanity; most important, be a model:  in small groups, have the audience engage in moderately intimate sharing; subsequent exercises can incrementally increase the personal sharing.

Activation:  Orchestrate a series of small and large group discussions that encourage sharing, laughter, the release of aggressive energy, and help people explore or find their own voice along with their common humanity.

Actualization:  Provide a conceptual model for "Higher Self Integration" and an exercise for achievable application; and then close by modeling the model.

Five Steps-Strategies for Speaker-Audience Synergy

Here are key "synergy" steps and strategies from the recent successful IPMA program:

1.  Quickly Establish Your Credibility and Absurdity.  Living in the Washington, DC area, when I do local presentations most in the audience have a federal government connection.  A typical opening:  "My goal is to help audience's 'Get FIT' with a program that is FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking.  And I have my Triple 'A' Method:  grappling with some anxiety, acting out a little aggression, and engaging life's 'slings and arrows' with playful yet purposeful absurdity.  FIT...Triple 'A'...You already know something about me...That I've lived in the DC area way too long.  I'm convinced if you lived in the DC area for a year or more, or you interact at work with the federal government, you should be mandated to a new Twelve Step AA group (of which I'm the founding member):  Acronyms Anonymous!  The knowing laughter indicates the degree of recognition.  Hand waves signal the immediate volunteers.

My follow-up:  "Hey, while we'll have fun, this program is not all fun and games.  I can be tough.  During a stress program, I recall this somewhat pompous State Department Manager challenging me:  'What do you call it if you don't have any stress?'  My rapid counter:  Denial!  Now the group is chuckling if not cheering me on.  (I have their Attention.)

2.  Be Puzzling and/or Risk-Taking; Have the Audience Engage, Even Challenge, You.  After this engaging -- a bit provocative yet empathic and amusing -- opening, I make a 180 degree turn:  What do you think of this guy up here, besides the fact that he's a BMWG -- Bald Man with Glasses?  The effect of this sudden shift in focus is revealed both by the initial silence...then cascading comments.  Most of the responses focus on my energy and obvious "love" of what I do.  Some note my being an attention seeker.  My retort while pointing to myself:  "You know the old saw:  Vanity thy name is Gorkin!  (I have definitely created some edgy Anticipation.)

However, I'll never forget one rejoinder:  "Now you're going to tell us how your were scarred by childhood!"  I laughed, then said, "No, I'll spare you for now," but acknowledged she was insightful.  In fact, this was just the challenging, even caustic comment I wanted to evoke.  When an audience sees you can handle this kind of interaction the trust and safety level in the room increases tangibly.  And this is vital when you are also using such repartee to set the stage for your first self-disclosing group exercise.

3.  Structure a Somewhat Intimate Group Exercise.  Building on the comments regarding my energy level, I show a power slide on "Personal Energy:  Boosters & Barriers" with the following questions:

When do you have your best personal and/or interpersonal energy?

What enables you to express this energy and “go with the flow”?

What factors stifle courageous and creative “head and heart” energy release?

What is the connection between pain, purpose and passion?

Small groups grapple with these questions.  In addition to engaging insights from team members and cultivating a climate of openness and trust, report backs from the teams to the larger audience expand the sharing.  Learning, letting go,  and laughing are also community builders!  (We are surely engaged in a spirited Animation phase.)

4.  Encourage "Letting Go" and Surprise the Group with an "Out-Rage-ous" Exercise.  Next the groups wrestle with the concept of letting go.  "What does it mean to 'let go' within a personal context or an interpersonal relationship?  Provide examples.  What enabled you to 'let go' (the decision or action); what made "letting go" (the process) difficult?"

Invariably, examples of moving on from a toxic job situation and a dysfunctional personal relationship, to the loss of a loved one or a long-sought dream surface.  During the small group sharing and even somewhat in the large group discussion, fears and emptiness are acknowledged; stages of grief are recounted; our vulnerable humanity is embraced.  (These exercises provide "hands on" Activation tools, including "Emotional Intelligence" skills and "hard-earned wisdom" for "letting go," for "voice exploring" and "resilient or creative mobilization.")

I then expand the articulation of "letting go" by engaging in behavior perceived to be deviant, on the wild side, outside a comfort zone, if not a tad "Out-Rage-ous!"  Donning a black Blues Brothers hat and black sunglasses, shaking a black tambourine, I start performing one of my psychologically humorous, Shrink Rap ™ ditties -- this time, Double-Edged Depression.  The words range from the poignant to the playful...and are often provocative (as in mind arousing).  You can't miss the gaping mouths...or the enthusiastic applause upon finishing.  (Of course my riposte:  "I've been doing this long enough.  I know when an audience is applauding out of relief.")

And there is a method to my madness:  First, I'm modeling and activating a dramatic if not daring (okay, maybe delusional) form of "letting go."  I'm preparing us for a liberating moment.  I want the group to experience a version of letting go that's highly personal in an interpersonal -- power struggle -- context.  People pair up choosing a letter, A or B.  Each participant must think of one person, past or present, who is or has been "a pain in your butt."  Person A will say, "You can't make me!"  Person B:  "Oh yes I can!"  Final instructions:  after a couple of "YCME...OYIC" volleys, each is to say what they would really like to say to that "pain in their head (and butt)."  Maybe I should call this the "Butthead Exercise."  ;-)

Not surprisingly, at some point during this exchange, for many folks there is an eruption of laughter.  (When we can both exhibit moderate aggression and also laugh at ourselves, for me, that's one cathartic letting go.  People often comment the venting exercise is stress relieving.  Actually, at a military spouse program, the outpouring was so loud and animated the soldiers in a room across the hall became startled and concerned; they were about to storm into our meeting.)  Perhaps it’s the somewhat artificial and absurd nature of the interaction.  Also, some folks cover up intense emotions, such as angst or aggression, through nervous laughter.  Of course, the spouses had been holding in a lot of emotion for a good while, that is, being "strong" for their "in harm's way" soldier.  The exercise allows them to break out of character and/or role, to engage in a mostly playful yet still purposeful “primal scream,” as it were.  Still, for me, the number of people who get hooked by the battle, who “want to win,” seems significant.  (Hurt and anger if not tempered by some self-reflective humor or acknowledgement of a mutual humanity just may impede "letting go.")

If a mix of vital energy, liberating laughter, and free flowing yet reflective communication is fundamental to relational synergy...we are there!

5.  Provide a Model and Opportunity for Expanding Self-Concept, Confronting the Intimate FOE, and Collaborative-Integrative Flow.  The self-awareness and expression expanding template is my "Five 'P's of Passion Power Model."  This 2x2, Mindset (Cognitive -- Affective) and Moodset (Gravitas -- Comedia) Matrix yields four "Passion Power" cells:

Cognitive-Gravitas:        Purposeful -- attending, understanding, and responding to self and others

Cognitive-Comedia:       Provocative -- viewing conflict as a source of trust, learning, and growth

Affective-Gravitas:        Passionate -- transforming pain into practice, progress, and possibility

Affective-Comedia:       Playful -- humbling, healing, and harmonizing diverse ideas and people

(Email stressdoc@aol.com for my writings on The Four "P"s of Passion Power.)

And the integration of these Ps spawns a Five "P" Model, that is, engaging the Philosophical (the exploration of inner and outer/individual and team spirit and wisdom).

Passion Power Model in Action

Initially, I have small group members identify themselves within the Four "P" framework:  which of the "P"s -- Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful -- is a "strength" and which is a "shadow" (an underdeveloped emotional-communicational muscle)?  Next "strengths" and "shadows" pair up and share what helped turn a "shadow" into a "strength."

After small group feedback and large group discussion, turning playfully provocative, I wonder aloud:  "Is it possible to be Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful simultaneously?  The question is a springboard to the closing "Four Word Exercise":  Share an Embarrassing Moment!  Once again the room yis alive with the sound of manic...and Four "P" music to my ears.  Suffice to say when folks "Confront the Intimate FOE":  Transforming Fear of  Exposure into the Fun of Embarrassment, they often bring the Four or Five "P"s of Passion Power to Life, both individually and as synergistic "high task and human touch" team.

And finally, I demonstrate my "Passion Power" as well as a capacity for embarrassing myself by breaking into a closing Shrink Rap ™.  Both the Five "P" model and my being a "Passion Power" model (hopefully throughout the program) has opened a pathway of expanded integration:  an Actualization process for realizing one's fullest self without becoming full of oneself!

Closing Summary

A path and model of the "Five 'A's of Arousing Leadership" as well as generating individual and group synergy has been outlined and illustrated:

"Five 'A's of Arousing Leadership":

Attention-Anticipation-Animation-Activation-Actualization

"Five Steps-Strategies for Speaker-Audience Synergy":

1.  Quickly Establish Your Credibility and Absurdity

2.  Be Puzzling and/or Risk-Taking; Have the Audience Engage, Even Challenge, You

3.  Structure a Somewhat Intimate Group Exercise

4.  Encourage "Letting Go" and Surprise the Group with an "Out-Rage-ous" Exercise

5.  Provide a Model and Opportunity for Expanding Self-Concept, Confronting the Intimate FOE, and Collaborative-Integrative Flow, including the...

"Five 'P's of Passion Power":

Being Purposeful-Provocative-Passionate-Playful-Philosophical

This synergy path not only yields "a whole greater than the sum of its parts"...but parts have the potential to become purposeful and passionate partners.  And a little "lagniappe"...a "Passion Power" leader is encouraged to be both "a wise man and a wise guy."  To which I say, Amen and Women!

Mark Gorkin, the Stress Doc ™, www.stressdoc.com, acclaimed Keynote and Kickoff Speaker, Webinar Presenter, Retreat Leader and Motivational Humorist, is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Resiliency Rap. A former Stress & Violence Prevention consultant for the US Postal Service, "The Doc" is also a Team Building and Organizational Development Consultant as well as a Stress Resilience/Wellness Consultant for the international corporate wellness/insurance brokerage group, The Hays Companies. Mark leads highly interactive, innovative, and inspiring programs for corporations and government agencies, including the US Military, on stress and brain resiliency/burnout prevention through humor, change and conflict management, generational communication, and 3 "R" -- Responsible, Resilient & Risk-Taking -- leadership-partnership team building.

Email stressdoc@aol.com for his popular free newsletter & info on speaking programs and phone coaching sessions.