The Art of Counseling and Coaching: The Evolution of a Healing and Liberating Path

The Stress Doc's Skype and Phone Counseling and Coaching Services: Evolving Your Path through the Art of Counseling and Coaching

Recent Skype and Phone coaching sessions reminds me of two sayings by an old Social Work field instructor:  "Not everyone needs therapy (or coaching)...but all (at some point) can use it."  And, "therapy (or personal-professional coaching) is like taking a course on self."

I have decided to more actively let folks know of my availability as a warm, witty, and wise battle-tested video and/or audio counselor and coach.  And as indicated below, I have a track record of making a difference, that is helping folks drill for resources within, contain if not extinguish external smoke and fires, and bravely design their own "pass in the impasse."

For more information, including my head and heart, task and crisis-focused approach, time frame, and fees (on a sliding scale based on ability to pay), email stressdoc@aol.com.  (Also, more background info after the essay.)  I begin with a free 15-20 minute consult to gain a sense of the issue, whether it's appropriate for this method of intervention and, finally, for both parties to assess if there is a good counseling or coaching fit.  I believe there is an opportunity for genuine synergy:  when individual parts work at becoming partners!

To hard work and good support,

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW
The Stress Doc ™

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The Art of Counseling and Coaching:  The Evolution of a Healing and Liberating Path -- Recognizing Danger, Redesigning Opportunity

What makes the right coach, counselor, or consultant such a valuable resource?  Invariably it's the fact that when feeling stuck, confused, or overwhelmed we cannot see, conceive, or act our way out of a draining, fearful, or paralyzing conflict.  The rocky road seems steep, long, and dark...and we can't seem to take that first step.  Alas, we may need to lean on another's experienced, concerned, and objective shoulder to regain a sense of equilibrium and competence.  We need a knowing "intimate outsider" to help us reconnect to our strengths; to realistically assess challenges or obstacles; to recognize overlooked and untapped resources or allies.  A coach also helps the vulnerable individual realize that present anxieties or feelings of helplessness are likely being skewed or exaggerated by past "emotional echo experiences," perhaps even "grief ghosts."

And timing may be everything...as often there is a "crisis window," as no less a psychological authority than William Shakespeare, noted:

There is a tide in the affairs of men [and women], which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat. And we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures.

From Julius Caeser

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Of course, the two Chinese characters for "crisis" are danger and opportunity:  the "danger" of not acting is not simply inertia.  Nor is it only the escalating pressure surrounding you and the problem, whether this tension is conscious or not.  No, the danger is enhanced by emotional defenses worn down by hyper-vigilance and  uncertainty, stress and worry, along with confusing emotions and memories (sometimes dream images disrupting sleep).  All add to your mind-body burden and baggage.  And if not proactive you may resort to a maladaptive or regressive way of coping, attempting to block out this mind-body stress cocktail, e.g., by withdrawing, increased drinking or smoking, blowing up, lack of concentration or increasing impatience, excess sleeping, mindless video gaming, becoming a "shopaholic," etc.

In turn, an "opportunity" arises just because of your approach-avoidance, "damned if I do, damned if I don't, damned if I stay, damned if I leave" conflict.  Finally, you're in enough pain, times running out, and you are finally ready to admit you can't get out of this dark and scary maze without some outside support and enlightenment.

These dangers and opportunities come in many shapes and sizes.  Here are two:

1a) danger:  a mother in the throes of a tense family breakup and her own depressive state, troubled by her verbal explosions with her children

1b) opportunity:  to reach out for resources, such as the Stress Doc's book, The Four Faces of Anger:  Transforming Hostility and Rage into Purpose and Passion; joining a support group; being open to a new way of expressing anger, e.g., recognizing when her own voice volume and tone are escalating; having the maturity to acknowledge that she more than the kids needs an immediate "time out" to regain composure.  Realizing when out of control she, also, is an "emotional child" not able to exercise parental authority.  Now with some coaching able to say and act:  "I don't like this  (specific) behavior.  I can tell I'm getting too angry...I will step away for two minutes and then return...and we will discuss and resolve this problem."

2a) danger:  a professional knowing her job situation has been toxic for a good while, is reluctant to leave.  Is it just the golden handcuffs and benefits?  (Logically, her husband is supporting her escape.)  Is it that the devil we know is less frightening than the potential ogre awaiting?  Or, wanting to totally break up the puzzle prison and do something radically different...she is paralyzed by not trusting the soundness of any option, an option that must be just "right."  Alas, trial and error mostly conjures shame and terror!

2b) opportunity:  sometimes a person must go through transitional liberation.  We must learn patient small steps; not rashly attempt that hell to heaven breakout passage in one breathtakingly bold leap, especially when the mental chasm is wide and deep.  Too often, perfection breeds paralysis.  So helping her consider downsizing from a major, Type A-driven company to a smaller, more intimate scale one, still relying on her basic toolkit, seemed to thaw the freeze.  And a manageable learning curve not only provides data for future decision-making, but makes the next risk-taking venture less daunting.

As the medical/polio pioneer, Jonas Salk, observed:  Evolution is about getting up one more time than you fall down; being trusting one more time than you are fearful; and trusting just one more time than you are anxious!

Hopefully, this short essay will help you assess whether a counseling or coaching session is a potentially valuable option, a path to help you...Practice Safe Stress!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A former psychotherapist, “The Doc” is a training and Stress Resilience Consultant for the national, Atlanta-based company, TrainingPros and The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group.  He has also led “Resilience, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service and is a recognized Critical Incident/Trauma Debriefing expert.  The Stress Doc is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

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The Stress Doc's Skype and Phone Counseling and Coaching Services

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW
The Stress Doc ™

Stress & Change Resilience Speaking--Coaching-Consultation
Crisis Intervention-Burnout-Bullying/Conflict-Loss-Grief
Phone-Electronic-Skype-In-Person

301-875-2567
stressdoc@aol.com
www.stressdoc.com

Speaking & Educational Videos-Essays
http://www.stressdoc.com/media_downloads.htm
Google blog: http://www.blogger.com/home
2.5 min 3 Steps to Overcome Procrastination Video -- http://vimeo.com/73783964

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My expertise is based on decades of experience as a national speaker on stress and burnout as well as a former private practice Psychotherapist, Adjunct Professor at the Tulane University (ten years teaching Crisis Intervention & Brief Treatment) and Visiting Professor at Catholic University Schools of Social Work and Social Services.  I have worked with a myriad of government agencies, including a variety of branches of the US Military, along with corporations, and non-profits.  I'm comfortable working with angry or aggressive clients;  I am a former Stress & Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service.  My Counseling-Coaching experience and expertise integrates several realms and roles:

¢ Stress and Change Resilience Coaching

¢ Caregiver Stress and Caregiver Fatigue Intervention

¢ Critical Incident and Crisis Intervention

¢ Mind-Body Depression Coaching & Intervention
¢ Stress and Burnout, Trauma and Grief Consultant

And my own personal journey grappling with burnout and clinical depression helps make the counseling/coaching distinctly insightful and uncommonly empowering.   Perhaps my singular perspective comes from being a "Motivational Psycho-humorist" ™.  (The title of one of my books is Practice Safe Stress:  Healing and Laughing in the Face of Stress, Burnout & Depression.  Another book:  The Four Faces of Anger: Transforming Anger, Rage, and Conflict Into Inspiring Attitude and Behavior.)

Coaching Logistics

In general, sessions will be for 30 or 60 minutes.  We begin with a free 15 minute consultation to determine if there is a basis for a mutual, productive working relationship.  Fees to be determined.

Testimonials are provided below, as well as an essay on a more recent consulting experience.

Feel free to pass the announcement on to friends, family, and colleagues.  For more info:

301-875-2567 or
stressdoc@aol.com

You can also obtain much information, articles, testimonials, videos, radio interviews, etc., from my website - www.stressdoc.com .
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Phone Consulting/Coaching Testimonials

Oct 12, 2013

I am so glad you are offering your services to many. You are an insightful man who helped me to have clarity and find my strength in chaos. I honestly believe that "God" put you in my path. I am still unsure of my future but I do know that I made the right choice. Without your understanding, patience and knowledge, I would not have been able to make that move. I may have slip-ups but I hear your voice and your words in my head and you continue to guide me.

Ann-Marie Connor
(Phone Coaching Client)
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And here is a coaching testimonial from a woman on the West Coast.  (I'm on the East Coast.):

Date: 10/30/2007
From: Stuntsista

Hi Mark,

What growth has occurred since our work several weeks back.  I am most certain you were a gift to me during those months of coaching together.  As I remember, the most memorable character trait to me is your ability to blend courage and personal understanding; as one who has experienced suffering and risen to overcome.  Only one who has experienced the depth, could so acutely and masterfully, handle the heart of one suffering, to guide, to point out, to encourage voice to feelings.  Mark, Thank you, for your accurate assessment, time and again.  I am grateful beyond words.  I appreciate your flexibility in time zones and the presence with which you showed up is just solid.  I enjoyed your humor that you inflected with such appropriateness.  It means so much to have had you 'in my corner' through such an ordeal I found myself in.

My health has turned for the best and I deeply believe it has all to do with my state of mind.  As Victor Frankl observed over 40 years ago:  "Those who know how close the connection is between the state of mind of a man -- his courage and hope, or there lack of -- and the state of immunity of his body will understand that the sudden loss of hope and courage can have a deadly effect."

I am well.  I have had several courageous conversations.  There is movement.  Don't be surprised if our paths cross again ~ smile. 

Most Sincerely,

Terri

Terri Cadiente A.C.C.
Associate Certified Coach, Speaker, Stunt woman

Strength And Grace Inc.
25050 Avenue Kearney Suite #109
Valencia, CA 91355
Office: 661.294.7841
Mobile: 818.489.4842www.StrengthAndGraceInc.com

~to inspire courage, provoke action and live from a heart at choice ~my life purpose
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