Transforming The KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) of Death: Part I

Transforming The KISS of Death: Part I -- 

(or, At Least, Stop Decaying Brain Cells and Spreading "Diss"-eased Relations)

I don't know if there's a generational divide regarding familiarity with the communicational maxim: Keep It Simple, Stupid or Keep It Simple Stupid. (The latter really advocates dumbing down the content). But I know it was an institutional slogan for the Boomerangs. As you may have discerned from this essay's title, I’ve never been a big fan of the teaching truism KISS:  And whether the word “stupid” is a) a directive from the "authority," b) downgrades the content, or c) describes the audience from a so-called expert’s “bird’s eye” or perhaps more “bird-brained” view…frankly, for me it’s de-meaning and degrading; a “superior-subordinate” method of learning and relating.

Perhaps most egregious, this haughty KISS ignores the potential for discourse and disclosure, discovery, and synergy in the room. IMHO, performance-partnership synergy occurs by a) knowingly engaging with your audience on a respectful and insightful, emotional, and skill-building basis and b) encouraging audience members to interact with and share, support, spur on, challenge and cooperate with -- lean on and learn from -- one another. And by synergy, I’m talking:

1) the interaction of individuals yielding a “whole greater than the sum of the parts” effect,

2) an increase of reciprocal mind-body-communicative energy along with a surprising, mind-opening, and thought-provoking impact on the system, .e.g, program speaker and audience, and

3) these interrelating parts evolve and transform into high performance partners.

Actually, the iconic writer and humorist, Mark Twain, seems to have succinctly yet insightfully captured this triptych definition of synergy with his notion of "wit": Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation! As we'll note shortly, Mr. Clemens' adage definitely KISSed it.

Also, I prefer a touch of compassion over a stale or deadly KISS, for example, the mind- and empathy-expanding maxim:  People don’t care what you know till they know that you care…duh!!!  And once folks know you care and you’re willing to “dialog” – acknowledging difference, allowing others to disagree and dare…better be aware; you will be getting much more than you imagined possible!  (I suddenly recall an old Stress Doc maxim:  Difference and Disagreement =/= Disapproval or Disloyalty; nor, conversely, does acknowledgement mean agreement.  But thoughtful attention and acknowledgement of another's "lived experience, emotional framework, and worldview" is my definition of respect, the foundation for authentic and stimulating, if not inspiring, communication and connection.)

Bringing KISS Back to Life (and Life Back to KISS)

Then recently an obvious KISS replacement leaped into consciousness:  Keep It Short and Smart!  And while the new adage-acronym was not word tight it felt right.  Of course, everything is “smart” these days – from phones to cars, with their digital diversity and dexterity.  According to Dictionary.com, from a systems perspective, smart means “operating as if by human intelligence by using automatic computer control.”  (Of course the irony of the aforementioned smart phones and cars is the numbers who engage in “stupid and selfish,” criminally dangerous behavior – texting while driving!)  No wonder at times I wax nostalgic.

Growing up, the word “smart” was immediately linked with mere human “intelligence” or being “clever.”  Now, in addition to its technological pedigree, it also connotes being “elegant or fashionable” – as in stylish, trendy, or chic.  Another synonym for “smart” is “lively”:  vigorous, energetic, or quick (which brings us back to keen and clever).  Of course “smart” has a shadow side:  e,g., insolent, rude, sarcastic, etc. and a connection with “pain” as in sting, burn, hurt, etc.  A smart comment can definitely smart; I call this “scarcasm."  With this caveat, I still like my second "S" candidate for the new KISS. These days being "smart" might as well be a synonym for survival!

So what's behind the first "S" door?

When Paired with Smart You Can't Come Up "Short"

In a social/media world that bombards with non-stop messaging, perhaps the critical question is: Are you being heard...or are you just adding to the noise? And clearly, even a meaningful message may be misconstrued as noise (if not totally ignored) in a multi-tasking culture with ever shrinking attention spans. So in addition to being "smart" -- sharp and lively, perhaps possessing some style or sauce if not a touch of sass -- effective communication increasingly needs to be effective and efficient. Whether it's texting, blogging, speaking at a meeting or conference, or running for public office, how to be heard among the maddening crowd? Initially, at least, capturing an audience's attention invariably requires bullet points, lines that carry a punch, if not punch-lines, and/or "sound -- as in brief yet substantive -- bites." A high impact communicator must distill information and ideas in a concise, brief, succinct, compact, economical manner. Condensed does not have to be dense -- as in thick, impenetrable, complicated...or stupid!

A winning message needs to Smart...but also Short!...but preferably not SHORT which is mostly shouting. And while short also connotes a small amount or brief, momentary, temporary, short-lived, impermanent, when paired with smart, short packs a thought-provoking and memorable if not Mark Twain "wit"-laced proverbial punch. How about these Stress Doc remedies for those who have difficulty setting boundaries or grimace and grind their teeth when having to disappoint others: A firm "No" a day keeps the ulcers away...and the hostilities, too! And, Do know your limits and don't limit your nose!

So in my mind, a message or story that is “Short and Smart” – is clear and compact while also being clever, lively, and quick; such a message may be "cutting edge" or may have a bit of an edge. (And may keep an audience on the edge of their seats.) As "The Bard" himself noted: Brevity is the soul of wit! Finally, speaking of grinding, consider this "S and S" example:  when reviewing stress smoke signals with an audience, I’ll ask if anyone deals with TMJ.  (It’s often a stress-related condition involving the chronic clenching of the jaw.)  Invariably several hands flutter.  My immediate reply, “And we know what TMJ really stands for:  Too Many Jerks!  Most assuredly short, smart, and sassy on several levels.

Closing Summary

In Part I, a case has been made for placing the "superior" slogan KISS -- Keep It Simple, Stupid or Keep It Simple Stupid -- out to the proverbial pasture. To be a high impact communicator in today's TNT- Time-Numbers-Technology -- driven and distracted world one must cultivate and spread a new and compact message-delivery technique. It's a practice and performance that is energetic and edgy, deceptively simple, yet packs a quality punch. Are you ready to become a "Short and Smart" KISSer? If so, stay tuned and puckered...Part II: The Stress Doc's KISSing Technique -- Skills, Steps, and Strategies!

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote, kickoff and webinar speaker as well as a "Motivational Psychohumorist & Communication Catalyst." Stress Doc programs help an audience "Get FIT"– by being FUN, Interactive, and Thought-provoking. The Doc is a Training and Stress Resilience Consultant for TrainingPros and The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group. He has also led “"Stress and Communication,” as well as “Managing Change, Humor, and Team Building" leadership retreats for a variety of units at Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA as well as Andrews Air Force Base/Behavioral Medicine Services.

A former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, the Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Resiliency Rap. .  The Stress Doc blog appears in such platforms as HR.com, WorkforceWeek.com, and MentalHelpNet.  His award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- was called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).

With his singular wit and wisdom, real world tools, and especially his surprising and engaging small group exercises, the Doc encourages participants to "go for it."  Audiences develop skills and strategies for unleashing dynamic energy and reducing status barriers. Learn to purposely inspire and collaborate with others. As SHRM and IPMA-HR Program Chairs noted, Mark has a way of captivating an audience and makes them want to hear more...Take a passionate and creative ride with the Stress Doc!