To my surprise, the result of a long simmering discontent with an educational adage/acronym (along with a somewhat obsessive nature) is driving the evolution of a hopefully “multi-faceted if not elegantly simple” matrix: The Stress Doc’s ™ Four “C’-ing – Concrete-Challenging-Creative-Collaborative Communication-Leadership Model. (More about the “C”s in a future essay.) That is, I believe a presenter or facilitator becomes a most compelling communicator-leader as well as an effective small- or large-group catalyst and coordinator when bringing these “Four ‘C’s” to life. And this performance-partnership transformation occurs by knowingly engaging with: a) your audience on an insightful, emotional, and skill-building basis and b) encouraging audience members to interact with and share, support, spur on, challenge and cooperate with, and learn from one another.
The KISS of Death (or at least Decaying Brain Cells and Dis-Eased Relations)
However, before fleshing out the “Four ‘C’ Framework,” I want to highlight the formative building blocks, which brings us back to my state of discontent. As you may have discerned from the title, I’ve never been a big fan of the teaching truism KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid. And whether the word “stupid” is a directive for the instructor, drives the content, or describes the audience from a so-called expert’s “bird’s eye” or perhaps more a “bird-brained” view…frankly, for me it’s demeaning; a “superior-subordinate” method of learning and relating. Most egregious, it ignores the potential for disclosure, discovery, and synergy in the room. (And by synergy, I’m talking both: a) the interaction of parts such that there’s a “whole is greater than” mind-body energy along with a surprising effect and that b) the parts evolve and transform into high performance partners.)
Actually, I prefer a touch of compassion over a stale kiss, for example, the maxim: People don’t care what you know till they know that you care…duh!!! And once folks know you care and you’re willing to “dialog” – acknowledging difference, allowing others to disagree and dare…better be aware; you will be getting much more than you imagined possible! (I suddenly recall an old Stress Doc maxim: Difference and Disagreement =/= Disapproval or Disloyalty; nor, conversely, does acknowledgement mean agreement. But attention and acknowledgement show respect, the foundation for effective and efficient communication in an ongoing relation.)
Bringing KISS Back to Life (or Life Back to KISS)
Then recently an obvious KISS replacement leaped into consciousness: Keep It Simple and Smart! And while the new adage-acronym was not word tight it felt right. Of course, everything is “smart” these days – from phones to cars, with their digital diversity and dexterity. According to Dictionary.com, from a systems perspective, smart means “operating as if by human intelligence by using automatic computer control.” (Of course the irony of the aforementioned smart phones and cars is the numbers who engage in “stupid and selfish,” criminally dangerous behavior – texting while driving!) No wonder at times I wax nostalgic.
Growing up the word “smart” was immediately linked with mere human “intelligence” or being “clever.” Now, in addition to its technological pedigree, it also connotes being “elegant or fashionable” – as in stylish, trendy, or chic. Another synonym for “smart” is “lively”: vigorous, energetic, or quick (which brings us back to keen and clever). Of course “smart” has a shadow side: e,g., insolent, rude, sarcastic, etc. and a connection with “pain” as in sting, burn, hurt, etc. A smart comment can definitely smart; I call this “scarcasm. With this caveat, I still like my candidate for the new KISS.
“Simple” Isn’t So Simple
Let me also dwell a moment on the first “S.” While the “simple” of KISS for most traditionalists connotes such terms as mentally deficient, ignorant, unsophisticated, and gullible, the word potentially has more positive connotations, such as humble, tasteful, guileless, unaffected, natural, informal, real, essential, and genuine. So in my book, a message or story that is “simple and smart” – is clear and genuine while also being clever, lively, and quick, and perhaps it might have a bit of an edge, as this example illustrates. When reviewing stress smoke signals with an audience, I’ll ask if anyone deals with TMJ. (It’s often a stress-related condition involving the chronic clenching of the jaw.) Invariably several hands flutter. My immediate reply, “And we know what TMJ really stands for: Too Many Jerks! Most assuredly simple and smart on several levels.
Ways to KISS
And there are more variations on a KISS theme than the French technique. (Obviously, I’m keeping said tongue well planted in my own cheek.) Let me count several ways of enabling your communication-message to be “Simple and Smart”:
1. Acronyms. Clearly, acronyms allow a message to be succinct and powerful (if not always “smart” in the “Emotionally Intelligent” sense of the word). KISS or TMJ…these letters and lines definitely package and pack a punch; see “Alliteration” below. Through form and function, acronyms allow for the selection of a manageable and digestible number of key “food for thought” elements. Not only do acronyms help make a message seem meaty, in addition they make it memorable. For example my “Natural SPEED Formula for Stress Resiliency, Brain Agility and Emotional Integrity”: Sleep-Priorities-Passion-Empathy-Exercise-Diet. Of course, use some discretion; it’s easy to OD on acronyms. I’m a charter member of the new 12-step AA group: Acronyms Anonymous.
2. Analogy. Analogy is a similarity between two things, having features that, at a first glance, are not always seen as related. This cognitive-categorization process evokes a comparison whereby the resemblance may be more readily and rapidly understood: the analogy between the heart and a pump. Analogy enables us to a) take familiar knowledge and experiment in a new arena or have a new situation challenge a conventional view, b) to perceive common threads among disparate elements or situations, c) sort wheat from chaff, and d) rapidly and often reliably get to the crux of a problem, thereby facilitating new perspective, applications or adaptations…talk about a smart (and survival-driven) conceptual tool!
Or use metaphor or comparative symbolic imagery to put some meat on a message bone. Let me provide a personal example. When I submit program titles for various speaking engagements, a frequent subtitle is: “Combat Strategies at the Burnout Battlefront.” People often feel there are war zone elements in their work situation. I recall VA Head Nurses introducing themselves at the start of a stress workshop by barking out their last names and their wards: “Walker, W-14, Thompson, W-18, Jones W-20.” I immediately exclaimed, “It sounds like your reporting from the battlefront!” Their sighs and nodding heads let me know I was on target.
So even if “Burnout Battlefront” is an exaggeration, folks believe I have a sense of their intense work conditions/stress levels. Though for these nurses it wasn’t much of an exaggeration. Their two favorite slogans: “Do your eight and it the gate; nine to five and stay alive!” (We’ve previously illustrated, a slogan or an adage is another way of generating an effective KISS.) As for the extreme conditions, maybe it was a coincidence, though I don’t believe so…the very caring Director of Nursing who brought me in to lead the workshop was dead within a year from cancer.
P.S. Surely, another way to convey “simple and smart” is through a pithy story, especially one that ranges from the playful to the poignant or vice versa.
2. Alliteration and Rhyme. Or try punching up a KISS by using alliteration; repeating the same letter at the beginning of a word, e.g., “burnout battlefront,” or repeating similar sounds, which takes us into the realm of rhyme. The aforementioned nurses’ slogan will do: “Do your eight and hit the gate; nine to five and stay alive.” Walk the talk clearly has permeated mass consciousness. Alliteration and rhyme give your words a “rhythm” – a beat, a pace, a cadence, a pulse – which makes your message vibrate, makes it distinctive, and helps capture peoples’ attention. A radio host recently thanked me for being on his show and added, You have a unique rhythm to your speech that I want to tap on and you have great delivery. Thanking him, I mentioned trying to project the emotional valence of just about every word or phrase that I use. (Many moons ago, as a novice starting in radio, getting speech lessons from a theatre actress definitely helped.)
3. Simple and Smart but also Silly or Sly. Clearly, so many try to employ or simply enjoy humor as it helps grab attention, may facilitate social bonding or defuse interpersonal tension, and a good laugh relieves stress. As many humor students have noted, laughing with gusto is like turning your body into a big vibrator, giving vital organs a brief but hardy internal massage…talk about a “simple and smart” message! (Of course, in addition to healing or harmonizing humor there’s the hostile variety. Darn, now I may need to start an Alliterations Anonymous group as well.) And when your message can both quickly, and mostly gently, poke fun of cultural icons while helping us knowingly laugh at our own flaws and foibles…well that’s one desirable if not delicious KISS. Consider the opening lines of the Stress Doc’s Stress Rap:
When it comes to feelings do you stuff them inside?
Is tough John Wayne your emotional guide?
And it’s not just men so proud and tight lipped
For every Rambo there seems to be a Rambette!
As I once penned, People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor!
4. Be Surprising. For some a message that’s both simple and smart may seem contradictory if not oxymoronic. Actually, when you place “simple and smart” content in a quick and unexpected package you basically have captured the definition of “wit” as observed by revered American humorist, Mark Twain: Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. “Practice Safe Stress,” anyone?
Ironically, delving into my “wit” memory bank actually short-circuited my “New KISS” campaign. Recalling Shakespeare’s dictum, Brevity is the soul of wit, I could no longer confine my creative communication concept to “simple and smart.” The conceptual floodgates had opened.
Designing the Pass in the Impasse
In fact, my conceptual contentment lasted two days; predictably, my mind would not let me rest on “well enough” laurels. Rumbling from underground were the cries: “what about short and smart or simple and surprising”? And of course, with the “fashionable” word smart we were just a small step from another powerful if not trendy “s”-word “sexy” – as in exciting, appealing, and a mind-opening “sexy idea.”
In fact, despite my angst about not getting too complex, I kept pushing the communicational envelope, coming up with various conceptual foursomes and combinations. For example, my ascending action steps go from the “Concrete to the Collaborative”:
Concrete: simple-short
Challenging: smart-sexy
Creative: surprising-synthesizing
Collaborative: sharing-synergizing
And, yes, for those with Rubik's Cubed minds, there are all kinds of permutations as you envision the above "Four 'C' Dynamics" cognitively dancing with a "Process" also having four dimensions: Information, Ideation, Integration, and Interaction. The most obvious “CI” pairings actual constitute “action step” pathways: Concrete Information Path, Challenging Ideation Path, Creative Integration Path, and Collaborative Interaction Path. And this is just the beginning!
But this cacophony will be addressed in future writings and matrix-like images. Hopefully, for the present, less will have you wanting more...as I buy some time for fleshing out this conceptual- and performance-driven multi-dimensional skeleton. And the biggest challenge: trying to maintain the spirit of KISS. Till next time…Keep It Simple and Smart
Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist andTeam Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc is also leading “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services. Mark is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online -- HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc's programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com.
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