Part III: Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding (Section A); Be Out-Rage-Ous…Not Just “Out of the Box”: (Section B)

Section A:  Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding

 

As the first two essays of this four-part series – “Less Is More…More or Less and Play to Strengths” and “The New KISS:  Keep It Simple and Smart” – illustrated, leaders, really all communicators, more than ever need to consciously craft clear and concise yet also compelling messages.  (Clearly, the Stress Doc is still learning to “heal thyself.”)  The never ending digital/media bombardment, a) not only strains attention spans, and b) fosters ever-lurking “d and p” – distraction and procrastination, but c) can foster social isolation d) rigid fixation, and e) drain energy for even looking at another message, let alone thoughtfully ingesting and responding.  (And being so digitally sedentary and sedated is not good for the brain, back, or belly.)  Is today’s new mind-body mantra, Time to detox from your digital inbox?

 

In fact, with this ever-present “brain-body strain” and constant cacophony of data, dalliance, and diatribe, as one author succinctly asked:  Are You Being Heard or Are You Just Making Noise?

 

Designing the Pass in the Impasse

 

In a TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – driven and distracted world, being “clear and concise” are increasingly necessary conditions for a message to be noticed.  However, these two message components may not be sufficient for your missive to be recognized and received, let alone engaged and embraced.  In a media jungle one must have distinctive verbals, visuals, and nonverbals (including body language, volume range, expressions, gestures, tone, pacing, etc.).  Even being loud or commanding may fall short.  One must project a message that radiates compelling contrast.  And my “Contrasting Message Mantra”:

Ø  Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding

Ø  Be Out-“Rage”-Ous…Not Just “Out of the Box”!

 

So let’s examine both components for fighting “digital distraction” and “in-box burnout”:

1. Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding.  Outstanding or exceptional knowledge and experience in a complex skill- and practice-based endeavor or field typically requires ten years and thousands of hours of trial and error learning and practice.  An extended apprenticeship is necessary for consistently performing consciously and skillfully and for improvising as needed.  High performance relies on both overt and implicit or “muscle memory.”

 

With this rite of passage, an insightful communicational leader develops well-honed “Substance and Style, Structure and Strategy” concepts and skills, tools, and techniques.  Such a conceptual-performance matrix is foundational for launching a truly meaningful and compelling – or “outstanding” – message and media platform.  And, once into a mutual engagement process…an authority’s savvy, integrity, and wisdom (or lack thereof) will often be affirmed (or exposed).

 

Finally, three key components of savvy, integrity, and wisdom:  a) a well spring of conscious and unconscious knowledge and memory along with comfort with uncertainty or complexity; at the same time, a drive to learn continuously, b) an ability to engage in both decisive action and judicious restraint, and c) a capacity for discerning the need for intimate involvement and emotional detachment; a recognition of the yin-yang nature of pain, partnership, and progress, i.e., to achieve “growing pains and evolving paths” wisdom.

The Challenge of Getting Started

However, there’s that start-up/engagement problem.  Let me provide an analogy.  Most of us know the time-honored adage:  “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”  Alas, these days that text/book may never be sighted, picked up, or downloaded, let alone evaluated, without an eye-catching and mind-grabbing verbal-visual or audio-video “brainbow”-colored jacket.  (Brainbow comes from 2013 Surfaces and Essences by Douglas Hofstadter and Emanuel Sander, a ground-breaking work on the power and omnipresence of analogical thinking.  A brainbow is an analogy that vividly connects diverse or distant minds).  When folks are in scan (or emotional stress) mode, they may not have the focus and persistence nor take the time to begin distinguishing foundational or underlying excellence from a seemingly hot, smoke and mirrors façade…unless you fight smoke by providing some brain fire.

 

The Triple “A” of Audience Engagement:  Attention-Anticipation-Action

Three steps for powerful engagement:
1) In multi-sensory fashion, your first task is to grab an actual or potential audience’s attention.

2) You want them on the edge of their seat in anticipation of your next communication or action.  (And being seen as edgy or quirky or deemed a “firecracker” – as personally dubbed by a Ft. Hood Senior Sergeant – is often a differentiating plus.)  So in addition to being eye-catching or “brilliant,” increasingly you must bring and trigger energy, illumination, and “heat.”  One must risk being provocative, even at times generate mind-challenging friction and conflict.  (Of course, a danger as a communicator is that your heat mostly morphs into message smog and “hot air”; e.g., while some may find her “hot,” I’m most aware of Fox News pundit Ann Coulter’s “light-weight” yet deceptively oppressive and often toxic “air quality” index.)

 

3) Finally, to solidify your connection with an audience, and to stimulate their sense of commitment and involvement, provide an opportunity for group’s to take meaningful problem-solving action.  I always introduce or illustrate a concept or skill with a “hands on” small group activity: buying-in to a new vision or viewpoints, skills and strategies, or tools and techniques requires applied knowledge.

Soular and Lunar Power

 

This engaging “Triple ‘A’” will help you reach your “stand out” goal:  achieving genuine and meaningful connection and contrast!   You must be the solar (and “soular”) power among the competing planetary platforms and programs.  And even if smaller, you can still be unpredictably lunar by possessing dimensional variability or bring a touch of divine lunacy; loom in the shadows, disappear and return, have ebb and flow (obvious and subtle) influence on the currents and characters of change; cast an indelible, luminous image on the waters, place events in a bewitching light or mysterious perspective, etc.  All of the above help you both exert a gravitational-motivational pull while out-shining other “stars” in that swirling and swarming social media galaxy.  Such an uncommon performance would truly be “outstanding.”

 

 

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

Less Is More and Play to Strengths: Inspiring Communication and Leadership Performance in a “TNT/3-D” Digital Age:

Reviewing my recent essay on “Compelling Communication and Leadership Performance,” I belatedly realized needing to better walk my talk and herd my words, especially in light of the essay’s theme.  So here’s a streamlined version that hopefully convinces that on many occasions “less is more.”

 

In this TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – World and 3-D – Driven-Distracted-Disruptive – Digital Age – capturing people’s attention amidst all the competing sources of data and diatribe, entertainment and excess is no small feat.  And then holding that ephemeral and excitable attention span borders on the extra-ordinary:  consider this feedback from an hour-long, “Stress Resilience & Passion Power” keynote with a mix of Human Resource Managers and Professionals:  Mark’s presentation was both “insightful and engaging”…. “very exciting and informative”…“very interactive and useful.”   He has a way of captivating the audience and makes them want to hear more… Mark Gorkin is a must hear!

So what is the magic elixir when it comes to capturing people’s attention, by being captivating not just commanding?  And believe me; it’s not just in my DNA, though some hypomanic tendencies probably play a role.  Presentational understanding and skills have evolved in trial and error (if not occasional terror) fashion over decades.  Here are four applied concepts you might want to add to your mindset and skillset:

A.  Less Is More…More or Less; and Play to Strengths
B.  Try to Keep It Simple and Smart
C.  Stand Out…Don’t Just Be Outstanding; Be Out-Rage-ous Not Just “Out of the Box”
D.  Design an IC² Platform for Creative Play, Performance, and Partnering

A.  Less Is More…More or Less; and Play to Strengths

So let me walk the talk and provide brief aphorisms and bullet points as well as stories to highlight “Less Is More”:

1.  The Range, Reins, and Rewards of “Less Is More”

a.  Have an Initial Tight Program Outline and Be Ready to Let Go and Go with the Flow.

(1) You can’t do it all; choose the best, toss the rest; and often it’s a learning curve
(2) Streamline on the fly; improvise based on audience response and time constraints
(3) Recognize limits and imperfect resolution

b.  Make the Audience Part of the Show.  Learn to transition from a solo performer to a leader that transforms an audience into quartets and ultimately an orchestra.  Generate meaningful educational and entertaining structures and activities.  Your goal: to help individuals and teams bring out their best music while boosting mind and mood, motivation and morale.

c.  “Less Is More” Payoff.  Sometimes it pays to give folks just a brief taste of an intriguing leadership concept such as my “mind-mood” integrative creative communication model “Passion Power.”  After briefly outlining the model for Human Resource leaders, we then moved into a social risk-taking exercise.  We spent a considerable amount of time on the exercise, which was a big hit.  Yet, when the Program Chair invited me to return in two months to speak on at the chapter’s annual conference, her requested topic, naturally, was “Passion Power.”  Seems like providing less had them wanting more!

d.  Less Is More…More or Less.  Of course, when it comes to quantity and quality, sometimes less is less and more is more.  However, I recall reading of a succinct apology to a contemporary by one of those noted 18^th c. English scribes due to his verbiage in a correspondence:  I’m sorry; I didn’t have time to write a brief letter.

Remember, you can’t do it all, that is, another “more or less” slogan; and perfection is an ideal if not an illusion.  Establishing boundaries sets limits; it also provides borders, challenges, and demarcations to be purposefully surveyed, surmounted, or surpassed.  With prescience and pith, acclaimed translator, James Falen, captures the power of constraint:

There are magic links and chains
Forged to loose our rigid brains,
Structures, structures, though they bind,
Strangely liberate the mind.

2.  “Less Is More” Means Being Pithy and Provocative, Palatable and Powerful

After you’ve selected the key program topic areas, the next challenge is to deliver the content in a manner that promotes the aforementioned FIT-ness:  the experience is FUN-Interactive-Thought-provoking:

a. Introduce an Absorbing and Thought-Provoking Subject for Your Audience.  A catchy and pithy introductory title helps, for example, “The Four Stages of Burnout” or “Combat Strategies at the Burnout Battlefront.”  In a “TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – world, a world that’s definitely “3-D” – Driven-Distracted-Disruptive – most people can personally relate!

b) Break It Down and Make It Digestible.  Break down your concept into key or critical, readily identifiable pieces or examples; deliver the data or ideas with a substance and style that’s easy to take in – clear and concise, motivating and memorable – bullet-like components; two or three “smoke signals” from the first stage should suffice.  For example:

(1) Mental, Physical, and Emotional Exhaustion – e.g., you may be holding it together at work, but as soon as you get home, do you head for the fridge, get out the Haagen-Dazs and Ben & Jerry’s, turn on the tube, hit the sofa, and you’re comatose for the rest of the evening…or wish you could be?

c.. Present Info and Ideas in a “Scannable” Format.  When dealing with data overload, people want to take away important points without having to further strain their brain; make the message light and enlightening:  People are less defensive and more open to a serious message when gift-wrapped with humor!  Provide a supplemental handout for later in-depth exploration.

3. “Less Is More” Means Emphasizing “How To” Strengths for Participants and Presenter.  Consider these three realms for displaying action steps and strengths:

a. Accentuate Action Over Analysis.  Follow the old 80:20 axiom:  when dealing with a problem spend 20% of the time on problem description and diagnostics, 80% of time and energy in providing problem-solving tools and techniques.  I don’t need tech support to educate me in detail about my hardware glitch; just get me up and running!

b. Facilitate the Sharing of Strengths.  Once you establish your credibility as a concerned and knowledgeable leader, you really can loosen the reins and create forums/exercises that allow others to share and shine.  If you need help in generating real and relevant exercises, I provide skills and tools coaching in this arena.

c. Recognize the Value of Multiplicity and Variety.  Being a diversified presenter means playing such roles as an educator, an entertainer, as well as an emotional expression and empathy energizer.  Beware confining yourself to just one presentational slot, e.g., lecturer.  How about “Leading and Learning with “E”s:  Educate and Energize, Entertain and Evangelize…and, whenever possible, applying all concepts in group Exercise; actually, more on the value of acronyms and rhyme shortly.)  The challenge is not being one-dimensional.  Variety is the “spice” and “rule” of life, learning, and leading.  (I am not going to touch the fourth “l”…loving!)

d.  Mostly Play to Your Strength.  Still, when time is limited and the task is bounded, lead with your strengths.  If strongest as an “Educator,” let this be your trump suit or default position.  However, even if only for a short trial, inject one or two of the other “E”-roles in your presentation.  Be unpredictable; defy expectations.  Why?

(1) you capture people’s attention and generate on the edge anticipation,
(2) pleasurable surprise releases pain-reducing and joy-enhancing brain chemicals like endorphins and dopamine; and while there are differences in temperament, brains hunger for if not crave the new and optimal variety
(3) the continuous practice and expansion of range and repertoire builds your risk-taking and performance muscles; also, you achieve finer and finer definition especially as you evaluate and integrate audience feedback, that hard-earned source of adaptive wisdom, and finally,
(4) as a risk-taking and variety generating role model, you are also illuminating an evolutionary, multifaceted mind-mood-muscle skill path for your audience.  As Dr. Jonas Salk, the renowned founder of the polio vaccine, observed:  Evolution is about getting up one more time than you fall down; being courageous one more time than being fearful; trusting just one more time than being anxious!   Amen and women to that!

Closing

We have outlined three key components of “Less Is More…More or Less” and “Play to Strengths.  These performance- and leadership-enhancing dynamics include:

1.  The Range, Reins, and Rewards of “Less Is More”
2.  “Less Is More” Means Being Pithy and Provocative, Palatable and Powerful
3. “Less Is More” Means Emphasizing “How To” Strengths for Participants and Presenter

And there’s a sure way of knowing you are hitting that “sweet spot”:  When you give folks “less” they let you know that they want more!


Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc also leads “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.

The New KISS: Transforming an Old (and Rusty) Saw

Keep It Simple and …

To my surprise, the result of a long simmering discontent with an educational adage/acronym (along with a somewhat obsessive nature) is driving the evolution of a hopefully “multi-faceted if not elegantly simple” matrix:  The Stress Doc’s ™ Four “C’-ing – Concrete-Challenging-Creative-Collaborative Communication-Leadership Model.  (More about the “C”s in a future essay.)  That is, I believe a presenter or facilitator becomes a most compelling communicator-leader as well as an effective small- or large-group catalyst and coordinator when bringing these “Four ‘C’s” to life.  And this performance-partnership transformation occurs by knowingly engaging with: a) your audience on an insightful, emotional, and skill-building basis and b) encouraging audience members to interact with and share, support, spur on, challenge and cooperate with, and learn from one another.

The KISS of Death (or at least Decaying Brain Cells and Dis-Eased Relations)

However, before fleshing out the “Four ‘C’ Framework,” I want to highlight the formative building blocks, which brings us back to my state of discontent.  As you may have discerned from the title, I’ve never been a big fan of the teaching truism KISS:  Keep It Simple Stupid.  And whether the word “stupid” is a directive for the instructor, drives the content, or describes the audience from a so-called expert’s “bird’s eye” or perhaps more a “bird-brained” view…frankly, for me it’s demeaning; a “superior-subordinate” method of learning and relating.  Most egregious, it ignores the potential for disclosure, discovery, and synergy in the room.  (And by synergy, I’m talking both: a) the interaction of parts such that there’s a “whole is greater than” mind-body energy along with a surprising effect and that b) the parts evolve and transform into high performance partners.)

Actually, I prefer a touch of compassion over a stale kiss, for example, the maxim:  People don’t care what you know till they know that you care…duh!!!  And once folks know you care and you’re willing to “dialog” – acknowledging difference, allowing others to disagree and dare…better be aware; you will be getting much more than you imagined possible!  (I suddenly recall an old Stress Doc maxim:  Difference and Disagreement =/= Disapproval or Disloyalty; nor, conversely, does acknowledgement mean agreement.  But attention and acknowledgement show respect, the foundation for effective and efficient communication in an ongoing relation.)

Bringing KISS Back to Life (or Life Back to KISS)

Then recently an obvious KISS replacement leaped into consciousness:  Keep It Simple and Smart!  And while the new adage-acronym was not word tight it felt right.  Of course, everything is “smart” these days – from phones to cars, with their digital diversity and dexterity.  According to Dictionary.com, from a systems perspective, smart means “operating as if by human intelligence by using automatic computer control.”  (Of course the irony of the aforementioned smart phones and cars is the numbers who engage in “stupid and selfish,” criminally dangerous behavior – texting while driving!)  No wonder at times I wax nostalgic.

Growing up the word “smart” was immediately linked with mere human “intelligence” or being “clever.”  Now, in addition to its technological pedigree, it also connotes being “elegant or fashionable” – as in stylish, trendy, or chic.  Another synonym for “smart” is “lively”:  vigorous, energetic, or quick (which brings us back to keen and clever).  Of course “smart” has a shadow side:  e,g., insolent, rude, sarcastic, etc. and a connection with “pain” as in sting, burn, hurt, etc.  A smart comment can definitely smart; I call this “scarcasm.  With this caveat, I still like my candidate for the new KISS.

“Simple” Isn’t So Simple

Let me also dwell a moment on the first “S.”  While the “simple” of KISS for most traditionalists connotes such terms as mentally deficient, ignorant, unsophisticated, and gullible, the word potentially has more positive connotations, such as humble, tasteful, guileless, unaffected, natural, informal, real, essential, and genuine.  So in my book, a message or story that is “simple and smart” – is clear and genuine while also being clever, lively, and quick, and perhaps it might have a bit of an edge, as this example illustrates.  When reviewing stress smoke signals with an audience, I’ll ask if anyone deals with TMJ.  (It’s often a stress-related condition involving the chronic clenching of the jaw.)  Invariably several hands flutter.  My immediate reply, “And we know what TMJ really stands for:  Too Many Jerks!  Most assuredly simple and smart on several levels.

Ways to KISS

And there are more variations on a KISS theme than the French technique.  (Obviously, I’m keeping said tongue well planted in my own cheek.)  Let me count several ways of enabling your communication-message to be “Simple and Smart”:

1.  Acronyms.  Clearly, acronyms allow a message to be succinct and powerful (if not always “smart” in the “Emotionally Intelligent” sense of the word).  KISS or TMJ…these letters and lines definitely package and pack a punch; see “Alliteration” below.  Through form and function, acronyms allow for the selection of a manageable and digestible number of key “food for thought” elements.  Not only do acronyms help make a message seem meaty, in addition they make it memorable.  For example my “Natural SPEED Formula for Stress Resiliency, Brain Agility and Emotional Integrity”:  Sleep-Priorities-Passion-Empathy-Exercise-Diet.  Of course, use some discretion; it’s easy to OD on acronyms.  I’m a charter member of the new 12-step AA group:  Acronyms Anonymous.

2.  Analogy.  Analogy is a similarity between two things, having features that, at a first glance, are not always seen as related.  This cognitive-categorization process evokes a comparison whereby the resemblance may be more readily and rapidly understood: the analogy between the heart and a pump.  Analogy enables us to a) take familiar knowledge and experiment in a new arena or have a new situation challenge a conventional view, b) to perceive common threads among disparate elements or situations, c) sort wheat from chaff, and d) rapidly and often reliably get to the crux of a problem, thereby facilitating new perspective, applications or adaptations…talk about a smart (and survival-driven) conceptual tool!

Or use metaphor or comparative symbolic imagery to put some meat on a message bone.  Let me provide a personal example.  When I submit program titles for various speaking engagements, a frequent subtitle is:  “Combat Strategies at the Burnout Battlefront.”  People often feel there are war zone elements in their work situation.  I recall VA Head Nurses introducing themselves at the start of a stress workshop by barking out their last names and their wards:  “Walker, W-14, Thompson, W-18, Jones W-20.”  I immediately exclaimed, “It sounds like your reporting from the battlefront!”  Their sighs and nodding heads let me know I was on target.

So even if “Burnout Battlefront” is an exaggeration, folks believe I have a sense of their intense work conditions/stress levels.  Though for these nurses it wasn’t much of an exaggeration.  Their two favorite slogans:  “Do your eight and it the gate; nine to five and stay alive!”  (We’ve previously illustrated, a slogan or an adage is another way of generating an effective KISS.)  As for the extreme conditions, maybe it was a coincidence, though I don’t believe so…the very caring Director of Nursing who brought me in to lead the workshop was dead within a year from cancer.

P.S.  Surely, another way to convey “simple and smart” is through a pithy story, especially one that ranges from the playful to the poignant or vice versa.

2.  Alliteration and Rhyme.  Or try punching up a KISS by using alliteration; repeating the same letter at the beginning of a word, e.g., “burnout battlefront,” or repeating similar sounds, which takes us into the realm of rhyme.  The aforementioned nurses’ slogan will do:  “Do your eight and hit the gate; nine to five and stay alive.”  Walk the talk clearly has permeated mass consciousness.  Alliteration and rhyme give your words a “rhythm” – a beat, a pace, a cadence, a pulse – which makes your message vibrate, makes it distinctive, and helps capture peoples’ attention.  A radio host recently thanked me for being on his show and added, You have a unique rhythm to your speech that I want to tap on and you have great delivery.  Thanking him, I mentioned trying to project the emotional valence of just about every word or phrase that I use.  (Many moons ago, as a novice starting in radio, getting speech lessons from a theatre actress definitely helped.)

3.  Simple and Smart but also Silly or Sly.  Clearly, so many try to employ or simply enjoy humor as it helps grab attention, may facilitate social bonding or defuse interpersonal tension, and a good laugh relieves stress.  As many humor students have noted, laughing with gusto is like turning your body into a big vibrator, giving vital organs a brief but hardy internal massage…talk about a “simple and smart” message!  (Of course, in addition to healing or harmonizing humor there’s the hostile variety.  Darn, now I may need to start an Alliterations Anonymous group as well.)  And when your message can both quickly, and mostly gently, poke fun of cultural icons while helping us knowingly laugh at our own flaws and foibles…well that’s one desirable if not delicious KISS.  Consider the opening lines of the Stress Doc’s Stress Rap:

When it comes to feelings do you stuff them inside?
Is tough John Wayne your emotional guide?
And it’s not just men so proud and tight lipped
For every Rambo there seems to be a Rambette!

As I once penned, People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor!

4.  Be Surprising.  For some a message that’s both simple and smart may seem contradictory if not oxymoronic.  Actually, when you place “simple and smart” content in a quick and unexpected package you basically have captured the definition of “wit” as observed by revered American humorist, Mark Twain:  Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.  “Practice Safe Stress,” anyone?

Ironically, delving into my “wit” memory bank actually short-circuited my “New KISS” campaign.  Recalling Shakespeare’s dictum, Brevity is the soul of wit, I could no longer confine my creative communication concept to “simple and smart.”  The conceptual floodgates had opened.

Designing the Pass in the Impasse

In fact, my conceptual contentment lasted two days; predictably, my mind would not let me rest on “well enough” laurels.  Rumbling from underground were the cries:  “what about short and smart or simple and surprising”?  And of course, with the “fashionable” word smart we were just a small step from another powerful if not trendy “s”-word “sexy” – as in exciting, appealing, and a mind-opening “sexy idea.”

In fact, despite my angst about not getting too complex, I kept pushing the communicational envelope, coming up with various conceptual foursomes and combinations.  For example, my ascending action steps go from the “Concrete to the Collaborative”:
Concrete:  simple-short
Challenging:  smart-sexy
Creative:  surprising-synthesizing
Collaborative:  sharing-synergizing

And, yes, for those with Rubik's Cubed minds, there are all kinds of permutations as you envision the above "Four 'C' Dynamics" cognitively dancing with a "Process" also having four dimensions:  Information, Ideation, Integration, and Interaction.  The most obvious “CI” pairings actual constitute “action step” pathways:  Concrete Information Path, Challenging Ideation Path, Creative Integration Path, and Collaborative Interaction Path.  And this is just the beginning!

But this cacophony will be addressed in future writings and matrix-like images.  Hopefully, for the present, less will have you wanting more...as I buy some time for fleshing out this conceptual- and performance-driven multi-dimensional skeleton.  And the biggest challenge:  trying to maintain the spirit of KISS.  Till next time…Keep It Simple and Smart

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist andTeam Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  A training and Critical Incident/Grief Intervention Consultant for the National EAP/Wellness Company, Business Health Services in Baltimore, MD, the Doc is also leading “Stress, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online -- HotSite" -- www.stressdoc.com -- called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com.

Building Stress Resilience: Five Part Series

Through the wonders of Linked-in I connected with a Nurse-Research Analyst working for a national insurance/health benefits consulting firm.  This health expert wants to address the stress-related factors that contribute to the “Big Four Impacting Workplace Wellness”:  high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity, and alcohol and smoking.  (For the last abusive symptom mix, with a touch of cynicism, I suggested an expansion of the category.  Follow the government’s nomenclature; call it ATF:  Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms!  As you may already know, I would add Sleep to our “Medical MT. Rushmore.”)  As this consultant explained, wearing a pedometer is useful but hardly sufficient to address the near crisis health conditions.

We agreed I would present a 20 minute phone conference to the health benefits team of a client company.  The goal was providing future “Lunch and Learn” wellness programs to company employees.  It went well enough that two days later the company’s health benefits team in Charlotte also asked for a stress resilience phone conference.

The Birth of a Series and a Good Omen

But perhaps the most important moment was when the coordinating consultant asked if I could put together a series of “Stress Resilience” programs.  That was all the encouragement needed.  It’s as if this idea had already been gestating, and only needed a little prodding to come kicking and screaming out into the world.  Knocking out a stress segment a day...a new ready to roll and bounce Stress Doc offering.

Each program segment has a blurb and five objectives.  Also, knowing she would have to sell me and the stress resilience concept to her boss, the Nurse Consultant asked me to address the question of my qualifications to deliver the series.  Career path and skills-based outlines follow the five program blurbs and objectives.  Also recent and past, including military, testimonials.

Clearly, this is a series I am opening up to the universe.  In fact, yesterday brought a good omen.  An Army Officer/recent Company Commander that I met a few years back while leading a program for Command Officers at Ft Hood, TX, dropped me a Linked-in note.  K. asked if he might pass my name to the Media Relations Officer at Ft. Irwin, Cal.  Stress Resilience is the buzz in the Army.  We were definitely on the same wavelength!  (Actually, he initially asked if I might be interested in doing a radio talk-show.  Interested…for years my objective has been to get enough exposure so I’m finally arrested for indecency!)

 

Await your ideas on content – additions and subtractions – on edits, elaborations, questions, etc.  Please feel free to share.

Remember, my motto:  Have Stress?  Will Travel:  A Smart Mouth for Hire!  Thanks,
 

Mark

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1)  Blending Burnout Prevention/Recovery, Psychological Hardiness and Natural SPEED

2)  Proactively Engaging with Change and Loss, Trauma and Bad Habits: Grieve, Let Go, Seek One in the Know and Grow with the Flow

3)  Empathic Assertion: A Communication Skillset for Disarming Power Struggles and Defusing Critical Aggressors while Developing Integrity, Collaboration, and Trust

4) The HARP Method: Blending Healing Humor, Acknowledging flaws and foibles, practicing Resilient Risk-taking, and overcoming Procrastination

5)  Designing Resilient and Responsive (“R and R”) Teams: A “Helmets Off and Hands On” and “High Tech and Human Touch” (HT²)™ Approach
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1)  Building Stress Resilience:  Blending Hardiness, Burnout Prevention/Recovery, and Natural SPEED

In a 24/7 world that's cycling from “do more with less reorganizing to ever faster upgrading” managing stress and achieving better balance and sense of control of one’s mind-body health, work-life, and psycho-social-organizational systems are vital.  The challenges to wellness, morale, and productivity have never been greater, especially in times of rapid change or organizational cultural transition.

Have no fear…Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Learn to recognize stress smoke signals, recover from or prevent burnout, develop stress resilience or “psychological hardiness” (especially useful in transitional times).  In addition, learn of the Stress Doc’s self-designed Six “R” burnout recovery plan.  Discover the Stress Doc's Natural SPEED model and method for expanding personal energy, stress resiliency, cognitive agility, and emotional integrity.  And finally, experience the Stress Doc as a “healing humorist,” that is, his pioneering work in the field of psychologically humorous rap music “Shrink Rap” ™ Productions.

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You
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OBJECTIVES

1.  Rapidly and playfully identify stress smoke signals; discover the “Four Stages of Burnout”

2.  Overcome and prevent burnout by learning to “let go”; in a small group exercise, explore the challenge of “letting go vs. holding on”; gain the company-based research for thriving in transition – the “Four ‘C’s of Psychological Hardiness”

3.  Discover the Stress Doc’s Six “R”s Personal Burnout Recovery/Rejuvenation Model: Running (an Exercise Regimen), Reading, Retreating, Writing, Relating and Risk-taking

4.  Discover “The Stress Doc’s Stress Resiliency, Brain-Body Agility and Emotional Integrity Formula for Natural SPEED – Sleep, Priorities, Passion, Empathy, Exercise and Diet”

5.  Experience “healing humor” through the Stress Doc’s acclaimed “Shrink Rap” ™

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!
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2)  Proactively Engaging with Change and Loss, Trauma and Bad Habits: Grieve, Let Go, Seek One in the Know and Grow with the Flow
 

We live and work in a TNT/3-D – Time-Numbers-Technology/Driven, Distracted & Disruptive – World where upgrading, restructuring, and uncertainty seem constant and everything happens NOW.  Not surprisingly, stress resilience requires dealing productively with loss and change – whether involving people and projects or deliverables and dreams.  The blow may also come from the unexpected departure, illness, and death of a beloved colleague, team member, or leader.  It is critical to have a mindset, skillset, and support-set for effectively and resourcefully engaging with and learning from loss and change, grief or trauma.

Have no fear…Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Recognize the “danger and opportunity” in personal-professional change and crisis.  Understand how personal baggage may become a heavy anchor.  Especially in times of major transition or uncertainty, the ability to:  a) quickly yet meaningfully process emotions, especially angst and anger, yet also realize grief has its own personal timeline, b) understand the difference between natural, self-healing grief and life-constricting clinical depression, c) know when to seek out a “stress buddy” or supervisor, mentor or professional health advisor, d) consider a “good enough” range of options and move in a new direction by making “sadder but wiser” (even if imperfect) decisions, e) reconsider limitations or restrictions of an outmoded past and f) envision and remodel a new – streamlined or expanded – personal-professional identity, reliable support-resource pool, and future career-life path is vital.  Also invaluable is the capacity for finding healing humor in “somber circumstances and irksome tasks” (as noted by the pioneering humanist, Helen Keller.)  Finally, sometimes it’s our own rigid restrictions or self-defeating habits (or addictions, alas) that trap and drain us.  Once again the mind-body-spirit pass is in the impasse:  Grieve, Let Go, Seek One in the Know and Grow with the Flow!

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.
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OBJECTIVES

1.  Understand why many freeze, flee or fight change rather than face and reframe it and then flow

2.  Engage in a small group exercise that illustrates the danger and opportunity” in loss or change, trauma or crisis; learn to recognize and “Confront Your Intimate FOE” and grapple with “Grief Ghosts”

3.  Learn what it means and what it takes to truly “let go” (including recognizing the “stages of grief”), manage the edgy unknown, and be open to new ideas and future possibilities

4. Discover why and how healing and harmonizing humor can enable individuals, departments, and all manner and sizes of teams to break through grief barriers, overcome dysfunctional conflict, and reengage as a vital community

5.  Experience a relaxation-visualization exercise that examines and helps you begin to “let go” of rigidities and self-defeating habits or behavior patterns while envisioning yourself in a new and proactive light.

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!
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3)  Empathic Assertion:  A Communication Skillset for Disarming Power Struggles and Defusing Critical Aggressors while Developing Integrity, Collaboration, and Trust

 

In times of rapid change, when people are operating with significant stress and uncertainty – at work and/or in their home lives – workplace tension will often have a communication and conflict component.  Add a high demand work world, where employees experience:  a) regular disruptions in the control of their work, their output, or schedule, b) face significant staffing, resource, training, support, career promotion, and chronic time pressures, c) interact with a top-down, slow-responding, or remote chain of command not open to diverse ideas, and/or e) perceived “favoritism,” rumor-driven cliques, or “stress carriers” permeate the environment…Not surprisingly, research suggests as much as 75% of workplace stress has an interpersonal component!

 

Once again, Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Reduce interpersonal tension and create a more open and participatory work culture by walking the Doc’s Triple “A” and “PRO Relating” talk.  Especially discover what showing genuine “Respect” and being “Responsible” really mean.  Practice “Empathic and Tactical-Tactful Assertion” skills, including the trust-building power of asking “Good Questions” and “meta-communicating” for disarming power struggles and defusing critical aggressors.  Discover the “Art of Active and Reflective Listening and Questioning.”  And finally, learn different conflict problem solving styles and employ the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Inventory to engage “Collaboratively” with a real personal-professional issue.
 

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.

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OBJECTIVES

 

1.  Discover the Triple “A” – Authority-Autonomy-Accountability – for fostering a climate of Individual/Organizational Responsibility and Resiliency (aka “Helmet’s Off and Hands On”)
 

2.  Restore a Four “R” culture that fosters PRO – Professional-Reciprocal-Ongoing – Relating:  being Respectful-Real-Responsible-Responsive; learn new, thought-provoking ways of envisioning the Four “R”s
 

3.  Through modified and fun role-play, gain “empathic assertion” skills for defusing power struggles by asking courageous “Good Questions” and building trust; learn to tactically and tactfully disarm a critical aggressor
 

4.  Discover the “Art of Active and Reflective Listening and Questioning”; learn to clarify and be concise; paraphrase and pause; differentiate reaction from response and when and how to reflect and reveal; mutually strategize and summarize
 

5.  As a small group exercise, use the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Styles Inventory to address “collaboratively” a real conflict situation; discover the creativity by harnessing diversity.
 

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

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4)  The HARP Method:  Blending Healing Humor, Acknowledging flaws and foibles, practicing Resilient Risk-taking, and overcoming Procrastination

As the world moves, spins, and evolves at an ever faster pace, learning to engage in conscious and calculated risk-raking is a necessary tool for survival and adaptation.  Despite anxieties, doubts, and/or resistances, being decisive while knowing when to exercise restraint (e. g, understanding when to spur to action or when to purposefully place some reins on unbridled passion) are critical resiliency components.  And while reflection is often a plus…inertia invariable becomes a self-defeating trap.  So first off, let’s confront that aversive and subversive “P”-word – Procrastination.  Next, how to find that optimal balance between “stability and chaos,” to be open to the new but also apprentice long enough to develop some real mind-body muscles, meaningful experience, and maybe even some hard-earned wisdom?  And perhaps the two most important mantra-tools in the “Resilient Risk-Taking” mind-mood tool box:  a) “Learn to Fail or Fail to Learn” and b) “Laugh at One’s Own Flaws and Foibles”
 

Have no fear (well, perhaps a little)…Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Through fast-paced presentation and group interaction, gain skills and strategies for playing the HARP:  overcoming procrastination and establishing better organizational patterns.  Discover the key steps to becoming a “Resilient Risk-Taker; for yourself and team members, learn to appropriately apply “healing humor” to better reduce the “ego” and “egoal” risk of trial and error; develop a multi-faceted – “learner not loser” – view of failure. And finally, bring it all together:  a) overcome procrastination, b) take a small but meaningful risk, c) engage in self-affirmation by share self-effacing and healing/harmonizing humor, and d) strengthen team cohesion and resilience by engaging in the Stress Doc’s acclaimed “Four Word Exercise.”
 

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.

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OBJECTIVES

1.  Grasp the dynamics behind why we procrastinate; learn to PANIC to achieve “Emancipation Procrastination”
 

2.  Engage in a small group/peer consultation exercise to strengthen strategic time organization
 

3.  Learn the “Four Steps of Resilient Risk-Taking” – from “Aware-ily Jump in Over Your Head” to “Design for Error and Opportunity, Exploration and Integration”
 

4.  Appreciate the power of “healing and harmonizing humor” for fostering individual and team resiliency; discover a simple too for evolving as a healing humorist
 

5.  Participate in the powerful, inspiring, and FUN stress- and group resiliency- as well as camaraderie- building exercise – “Confronting the Intimate FOE.”
 

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

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5)  Designing Resilient & Responsive (“R and R”) Teams:  A “Helmets Off & Hands On” and “High Tech and Human Touch” (HT²)™ Approach
 

In today’s 24/7, hyper-paced world, building personal-professional stress resilience is certainly a vital and necessary step.  However, it is not sufficient.  We need to weave a safe and secure net of interdependent relations.  This support net knows that in times of stress and conflict, productive problem solving is often less a matter of “fight or flight” and more “tend and befriend.”  (Of course, some individual and group conflict is inevitable and needs to be addressed with “good enough” skill, honest dialogue, and personal-professional integrity.)  Evolving team leader/member communication-relationship transparency and trust enhances the likelihood of:  a) constructive engagement, b) meaningful resolution, as well as c) strengthened team consensus, cohesion, and resilience.  And in the workplace the ideal group to provide that revitalizing mix of “high tech/task and human touch” is the work team.  How can a work team live up to its potential for generating “R and R” – Resilience and Responsiveness?  Discover a group process for cultivating the Stress Doc’s notion of “team synergy”:  where the whole is not just greater than the sum of the parts, but the parts evolve into purposeful partners!
 

And in the final session, Mark Gorkin, "The Stress Doc" ™, is here with his dynamic and interactive, thought-provoking, inspiring, and FUN-filled presentation and small group exercises.  Discover the Doc’s “Helmet’s Off and Hands On” method for cultivating a “High Tech and Human Touch (HT²) ™ Culture.”  Appreciate why and how “winning” teams blend “Individual Creativity and Interactive Community.”  Engage in a “Barriers and Bridges” exercise for developing “Resilient and Responsive” teams.  Learn “how to” structures and techniques for facilitating team member participation in and commitment to both individual and group vision and goals.  At the same time, it’s vital that team members and, especially, leaders know how to professionally engage dis-eased, disruptive, or dysfunctional group members.  And lastly, close with a strategic “Five Session Series Review and Next Steps.”
 

Seek the higher power of Stress Doc humor:  May the Farce Be with You.

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OBJECTIVES
 

1.  Understand why “There’s no ‘I’ in team” may not be the best team mantra; grasp the importance of “Helmets Off and Hands On” and the Triple “A” for building “Winning” teams

2.  Engage in the acclaimed “3-D – Discussion-Drawing-Diversity – Team Building Exercise”; identify key barriers to more coordinated, supportive, and productive teams

3.  Engage in the follow-up “Consultation Problem Solving Team Role-Play”; build communicational and structural bridges for more coordinated and supportive, focused and productive, diverse and synergistic teams; discover the “Stress Doc’s Elite Eight for Building Resilient and Responsive Teams”

4.  Explore constructive ways for team leaders and team members to respond to a disruptive “stress carrier”

5.  Closing review of what participants have learned/applied; finally, strategic next steps and commitments for “Sustaining Stress and Team Resilience.”

Don’t miss your appointment with the Stress Doc!

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Why Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, the “Stress Doc” ™, is the right person to deliver this “5-Part Building Stress Resilience Series”:

 

Overview:  Stress Resilience Background and Experience, Skills and Credits
 

1.  He is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over thirty years of private practice and agency experience

2.  After burning out on a doctoral dissertation, he became an expert in the field of stress and burnout, including breaking into radio and television becoming known as the “Stress Doc”; in the ‘80s, had a syndicated “Stress Brake” radio feature with Longhorn Radio Network, University of Texas, Austin

3.  In the ‘80s, as an adjunct, he taught Crisis Intervention/Brief Therapy Techniques to Social Work Grad Students at Tulane University, New Orleans, LA; often had largest elective class enrollment; became known as “Mr. Crisis Intervention”

4.  Over the years he has published hundreds of popular articles on the topics, of stress, burnout, loss and change; in addition to his own blog, his writings are regularly published by the large web platforms – Workforce.com (as a “stress expert,” his Q and A responses to reader’s questions has been a long-running as-needed feature), HR.com, Mental Help Net; his website – stressdoc.com – has been called a “workplace resource” by National Public Radio (NPR); there are a variety of training videos on the site; after many years, he still has a very high ranking on Google for the term “burnout”

5.  He is the author of three “resiliency”-related books:
 

Ø  Resiliency Rap:  The Wit and Wisdom of the Shrink Rapper ™

Ø  Practice Safe Stress:  Healing and Laughing in the Face of Stress, Burnout, and Depression

Ø  The Four Faces of Anger:  Transforming Anger, Rage, and Conflict Into Inspiring Attitude and Behavior

6.  He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop, and retreat leader, having led nearly a thousand programs in the past thirty years for an array of companies, government agencies, non-profits, etc.; areas of specialty include stress resilience/burnout prevention and recovery, conflict and communication skills, transforming loss and change, team building and, most recently, resilient risk-taking and creative leadership; in particular he has led several Pre-Deployment and Post-Deployment Retreat Workshops – “Stress Resilience, Humor, and Team Building” – for various Military Units, especially at Ft. Hood, TX; see testimonials below

7.  In the past five years, he has led a number of resilience-related webinars; for nearly ten years he ran a “Shrink Rap and Group Chat” for AOL; responding rapidly, succinctly, yet meaningfully to participants' Instant Messages (a forerunner of texting) was critical

8.  Living in the DC area since 1990, he has considerable experience with federal, county, and city government agencies; he has collaborated with many EAP programs/professionals

9.  In the ‘90s, he was a Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service; both management and the unions wrote letters of praise regarding his contribution to workforce productivity and morale

10.  For the past three years through the present, he has been doing Critical Incident/Trauma-Grief Intervention Consulting for Business Health Services HQd in Baltimore, MD; and periodically over the past twenty years as an independent contractor, he’s done Critical Incident work for a variety of government agencies; his inspiring manner even emerges in CI work, e.g., after two recent 20-minute critical incident/grief sessions with staff, a Hospital Chaplin commented:  “You had them in the palm of your hands!”

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Stress Resilience Speaking/Training Skills and Tools

1.  He is a dynamic, high energy, and inspiring presenter that helps audiences get more FIT:  his programs are FUN, Interactive, and Thought-provoking; after a program, people often approach commenting on the great energy and ideas; his programs involve and evolve a lively rhythm of group interaction/exercises, take-home ideas and bullets, and Q and A

2.  As many have noted, his ability to integrate skillfully humor and play in programs, even with serious or somber subjects – from speaking to critical interventions – helps him capture people’s attention and his message stand out; as he once penned:  People are less defensive and more open to a serious message gift-wrapped with humor!

3.  The 5- part program illustrates the diversity and range of professional experience as a speaker, workshop/trainer, therapist, stress, critical incident/grief- and team-building consultant, retreat leader, chat group leader/facilitatorauthor and writer.  He has integrated a powerful array of topics for his “Stress Resilience” arsenal:  stress resilience/burnout prevention and recovery, conflict and communication skills, transforming loss and change, team building and, most recently, resilient risk-taking and creative leadership

4.  He is comfortable and experienced working with organizations in both the private and not-for-profit sectors and with audiences of varying sizes – ranging from less than twenty to two hundred or more

5.  His electronic media and public speaking/teaching/writing experience has honed an ability to synthesize and express complex ideas into manageable and memorable concepts and tools; his revision of the old KISS standard:  Keep It Simple and Smart!; from his days in TV and radio, he projects energy and enthusiasm whether he can literally touch an audience member or not

6.  He is adept at facilitating group discussion; in fact he often sees himself as “an orchestra leader, helping others (including teams) bring out their best music”

7.  He is adept at fielding audience questions on the fly; this process often elicits personal-professional (yet appropriate, on point and concise) stories that truly bring to light and life meaningful responses to participants’ questions and concerns

8.  As a workshop and retreat leader, engaging interactive programs along with a facility for “Emotional Intelligence” helps break down communication and status barriers among participants; one military commander noted that after a stress-team building program, during a follow-up meeting, his senior officers and senior sergeants had the most open, least contentious and territorial, and most productive pre-deployment retreat

9.  His substance and style have been noted as supporting and affirming top management’s mission and values

10.  Audiences love his closing:  the Doc’s pioneering effort in the field of psychologically humorous “rap” music – Shrink Rap ™ Productions!

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