Psychohumor ™ Pop Imagery of Workplace Bully Types and Stop Bullying Program

This is my first attempt at writing a Resiliency/Shrink Rap ™ on "Workplace Bully Types."  I am drawing upon:

1) professional experience, e.g., as a “Hazardous Workplace” expert for federal and city government agencies, as a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, as a Critical Incident/Trauma Debriefing Consultant, and as a Licensed Psychotherapist (LICSW) and Executive Coach

2) previous writings, including my book, The Four Faces of Anger:  Model and Method – Transforming  Anger, Rage and Conflict, along with several lyrics/raps on children’s bullying, and

3) current thinking as well as planning for a March 2015 program with Wash, DC Federally Employed Women (FEW), "Coming Out of the Bullying Closet:  Personal Examination and Workplace Intervention."

In this "Rap," evocative types are skewered less with the KISS of Death ("Keep It Simple Stupid") and more with the spirit or the "Breath of KISS"…My spearing/sparing goal:  Keep Images Short and Smart!  It's 5similar to the life-force of my Psychohumor Pop:  Poetry with Pith and Punch.  (Email for previous “Pops.”)  Enjoy.

 

Mark

 

A little lagniappe – a “bullying” program blurb/objectives posted after the Rap:

Coming Out of the Bullying Closet – Personal Exploration and Workplace Intervention: Short-Circuiting the Cycle of Workplace Bullying

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Bullies, Bullies Everywhere

(Oh Where Is There a Shrink?)

How many bully types

Can you start to name?
All those shapes and stripes…
Seek toys for their mind games.

Know-it-alls and demons
Stalking you at work.
Can’t wipe out their venom
Just muttering, “You jerk!”

For they will tease and taunt
Get underneath your skin.
Your dreams they too will haunt…
Oh, where do you begin?

Bully for you, Bully for Me
It’s time for your third degree
Bully for Me, Bully for you
Why are you turning so blue?

Let’s give them a label
Let us expose their rear –
The mean and the miserable
Craving status and your fear.

They’re sharks in the water
Smelling beads of blood
Preying on the weaker
To quench their own mood.

First the “HE Man” Nation
All those lusting for control.
Driven by H…“Humiliation” and E…“Envy”:
Trapped in a Type A-hole.

Next the “Savior” SHE Hound
Could be dudette or a dude
Ever bossing you around
Of course, for your own good!

Bully for you, Bully for Me
victim or Victor…can’t you see
Bully for Me, Bully for you
As long as you give Me my due.

There’s the one “Too BIG to Fire”
She shakes the money tree.
The top dogs give her a flyer and
Brown nose this mighty SHE.

The “Critical Aggressor”
Needs an “Approval Addict.”
They dance affixed together –
Codependent rules so strict.

Finally found your “Mr. Right”
You searched for nights and days
Who knew he’d be so uptight
With a first name of “Always!”  **

The “Explosive Flasher”
Her face flamethrowing red.
A “blame-aholic” boozer:
To lose is to be dead!

Bully for you, Bully for Me
Now here’s My final decree
Bully for Me, Bully for you
Go find one to bully, too!

The “Hollywood Strong Silent Man”
With those big broad shoulders
For him to be strong…You be silent, ma’am!
Just watch him seethe and smolder.

Composed on the outside
On razor’s edge within:
The “Dr. Jekyl-Mr. Hyde”
Backstabs with a Cheshire grin!

Mr. “Hostile Humor’s”
Trail of tears scarcasm.
A serial abuser
Joking off…his orgasm!

These bulbs on the bully tree
Have two things in common:
“The World Evolves Around Me”
And there’s but one opinion:

[For these last lines to ring most true
Sing it just like “Tea for Two”]

you for Me and Me for Me
Oh how nurturing you will be.
Forget to be or not to be…
Just simply think of ME, ME, ME!

 

 

** (Can’t recall the name of the female comic from whom I head the “Always” punchline)

 

© Mark Gorkin  2015
Shrink Rap ™ Productions

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Coming Out of the Bullying Closet – Personal Exploration and Workplace Intervention: Short-Circuiting the Cycle of Workplace Bullying

 

Bullying...it’s not just for school yards and lunch rooms; it’s increasingly found in offices and work-floors, and, of course, in cyberspace.  And workplace bullying, too, has seriously disruptive and damaging effects and consequences.  Bullying doesn’t just adversely impact an individual…when ignored or downplayed, it creates a climate of fear (“Where’s is leadership?”) and self-blame or shame that, like a virus, eats away at respect for leaders, individual and team trust and coordination, organizational performance and morale.  And there often is a communal wall of silence around this issue.  It’s way past time for “Workplace Bullying” to “Come Out of the Closet”!

 

And Mark Gorkin, LICSW, the Stress Doc will help us take off the blinders and shed light on this critical and controversial subject.  The Doc draws on years of experience as a: a) Psychotherapist (as well as a “Psychohumorist” ™ ;-), b) Crisis, Hazardous Workplace, and Critical Incident Consultant (including being a Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service), c) Stress Resilience-Team Building Speaker, Consultant, Workshop/Retreat Leader for the US Army, e) author of Practices Safe Stress, The Four Faces of Anger, and Resiliency Rap, and e) his own powerful memories being bullied as a child and young teen.  Through a mix of poignant and energizing lecture, as well as thought-provoking and fun group exercises, all will have a better grasp of:

 

1) Workplace Culture, the Bullying Process, and Basic Definitions

2) “The Bullying Process” Behavior Patterns of both “The Bully” and “The Bullied”
3) The Four Faces of Anger Model for Transforming Rage and Hostility into Passion and Assertion
4) Defusing Power Struggles and Aggressors:  Assertive Communication-Negotiation Skills
5) Workplace Action Steps for “Short-Circuiting the Bullying Process”

 

Outline/Objectives

 

A.  Workplace Culture & the Bullying Process:  Overview

B.  Bullying Definitions and Derivations

C.  Bullying Process Practices and Environments:  Dynamic Dozen

D.  Bullying Personalities and the Bullying Processes:  Dynamic Dozen

E.  Warning Signs:  The Bully’s Behavior Patterns

F.  Warning Signs:  The Bullied’s Behavior Patterns

G.  Anger Dynamics and The Bullying Process

H.  Assertive Communication-Conflict Negotiation Skills

I.   Initial Bully Process Intervention

J.  Transforming Burnout, Loss & Grief and Creative Expression Skills

K. "Out of the Closet" -- Short-Circuiting the Bullying Process:   Action Steps

Don’t miss your Appointment with the Stress Doc:

 

It’s time for all to “Come Out of the Bullying Closet!”

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Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW
The Stress Doc ™
Stress& Change Resilience Counseling-Coaching-Consultation
Crisis Intervention-Burnout-Bullying/Conflict-Loss-Grief
Phone-Electronic-Skype-In-Person
301-875-2567
www.stressdoc.com
stressdoc@aol.com
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“Psychohumor Poetry” and a “Passion Power” Essay

A mix of “Pop” and “Passion” – “Psychohumor Poetry” and a “Passion Power” Essay.  Enjoy!
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Psychohumor Pop:  Poetry with Pith & Punch!

Err Apparent [a bumper sticker perspective]

Consider this slogan, perhaps circumstantial
Perchance an omen – more existential
Or maybe simply how it is done:
To err is human…but to blame someone…
Now that shows management potential!

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The Paradoxical Dream and/or Delusion

 

To bridge the head and the heart

To see an end as a new start
To gain control by letting go
To be so humble yet steal the show
Both oak tree firm and willow nimble
Flowing as one Yin/Yang symbol
To nobly reach a lifetime dream
To be much more than what you seem.
The highest art of any magic –
To find some comic in the tragic.
Oh how to fuse both earth and sky?
Simple:  Be a wise man and a wise guy!
All this is truly hard to do
Except, of course, for "the chosen" few –
The self-righteous who join body and mind
By parading their EGOs up their behind!
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Disarming Egos and Power Struggles

Do you get caught up in power struggles
Mostly cause of big EGO tuggles?
When someone tries pulling your chain
Duh…it doesn’t take too much of a brain…
One simply must pull stronger and longer
When there are only winners and wrongers.
Hey, no matter the name of the game
God forbid you should appear lame!

Black or white, might makes right
Think like me or out of sight.
Good or bad, why so sad?
Get in line…don’t make me mad!

But wait…let’s head off the next migraine
And view this from another frame:
You don’t have to be a saint
All you need: a touch of restraint…
Now who’s being smart…and who just ain’t?
As the other keeps pulling harder and harder
Flexing those muscles or being a martyr
A bit too proud of their stress and strain…

Big or small, we all must fall
If we are to hear our call.
The true path of humble pie:
Stumble, tumble...leap and fly!

Pretend to be a very Mad Hatter
Ready to scuffle, be a little insane…
First a wolf howl, then non-stop chatter…
Enough!  Suddenly smile, your new way to cope
Do the royal wave – your best beatific Pope
I wonder who’ll feel like the big dope
As you, oh so calmly, “Drop the da_n rope!”

One must eat a little crow
To find life’s key:  “Letting go!”
You are more than what you seem
When you allow a “Self” to scheme!

Remember, dropping the rope isn’t based on fear
Nor does it mean you could not less care…and
Despite ranting and rage…at our tender age
Most can’t afford to lose anymore hair.
This kind of struggle is a big waste of time…
Either you and I start using our noodle
And join together for a brain huddle
At least becoming partners in crime
Or I go back and mind my own muddle
Lampooning the world through rhythm and rhyme.
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The Blaming “You”s

“It’s all your fault”; “You drive me crazy!”
Sounds like an assault from a mind that is lazy.
Do not be shy, here’s one good reply –
Looking eye to eye…with tone a tad dry:
“Time after time, I know you have said it…
Alas, you still give me way too much credit.”
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You for Me:  The Narcissist’s Version [to the tune of “Tea for Two”]

You for me and me for me
Oh how nurturing you will be
Forget “to be or not to be”…
Just simply think of Me, Me, Me!
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Losing It

You may think I’m at a loss
Not having you as a boss.
But when it’s just me
Not us or you…
Please, do not tell me what do.

Even when you “know what’s best”

(Though never quite put to the test)
Let me flounder; wait...still better
A request:  Geez, Louise…Just let it rest!


© Mark Gorkin  2014-15
Shrink Rap ™ Productions
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The Cultivation of “Passion Power” – Part I:
On Becoming a Compelling and Engaging Communicator

Several years back, waiting to give a talk on “Passion Power” to a Virginia Chapter of the Society of Human Resources Management (SHRM), an attendee approached, spurred by the program title.  Having been a Sales Manager in another life, he shared a popular slogan from his former profession:  Logic Tells…But Passion Sells!  Perhaps he was a fan of the 17th century French classical writer, Francois La Rouchefoucald.  FLR observed (quoted in Kay Redfield Jamison’s Exuberance:  The Passion For Life, Random House, 2004):

Passions are the only orators which always persuade.  They are like an act of nature, the rules of which are infallible; and the simplest man who has some passion persuades better than the most eloquent who has none.

There wasn’t time for real discussion with the ex-sales pro, but his pithy slogan resonates across many domains – from selling to an external public to servicing, managing, and bringing to life people, policies, and procedures within a corporation or organization.  In my mind, the crux of this mantra has vast implications for whether “message sent is message received”…and acted upon!  That is, “logical information or analysis mostly places “data” on the table.  Whether the data is seen or scanned, picked up and mentally manipulated, toyed or played with (in a positively cognitive-imaginative sense), and finally ingested…eventually providing food if not inspiring fuel for thought… well, that’s a whole other category of experience.  (And in today’s TNT – Time-Numbers-Technology – Driven & Distracted World,” just penetrating a perceiver’s consciousness is no small accomplishment.)

“Passion”:  Roots and Boosts

So why does data with an aura of passion or content designed or delivered by a passionate communicator so often touch, grab, and successfully target the head, and especially, the human heart?  What enables this information to become a more compelling and engaging “category of experience?”

Let’s get to the root of the issue…Passion!  What does it evoke?  Intensity, heat, steaminess…the “s”-word:  “soap opera?”  No, of course it’s Sex.  Actually, we in the Washington, DC area know the real “s”-word for passion…It’s “Senator.”  (Or it was until Bill Clinton ruined my joke.)  Interestingly, if you have a good dictionary the “s”-word for “passion” is neither sex nor senator…it’s “suffering,” as in the Passion Play.  This relates to the sufferings of Jesus or, more generically, to the sufferings of a martyr.  (Imagine all this time I never knew my Jewish mother was such a passionate woman!  Not surprisingly, wit and humor often adds to the passion and power of a message.  This booster effect especially holds when these cognitive-affective-communicative tools help us knowingly laugh at and forgive our own human flaws and foibles, or humble and bring down to earth a haughty or all-knowing/controlling EGOtist.)

Leading Edge of Passion

Over the years, the best audience free association to the word “passion” has been “Rosa Parks.”  Which inspires speculation around the connections among “suffering,” “passion” and being a powerful leader or motivator?  For me, it’s an individual who has experienced and is sensitive to injustice or, at least, has a low threshold for “constructive discontent.”  And such a person also identifies and empathizes with her own and others’ pain while articulating this personalized understanding.

Also, the passionate leader doesn’t just recall old wounds or wonders; he or she is capable of learning from the past to better forge new pathways to the future.  Regarding the last point, renowned 20th century English author, John Fowles, called emotional memories his electric current; to maximize his creative juices he needed to be plugged in to this “power source.”  And these creative perceptions and pathways may help lead others to a land of more promise, if not the “Promised Land.”  So when an individual connects past and current passion-pain and then plugs into or partners these two with a sense of individual and communal purpose, an uncommonly fruitful species of common and uncommon power is evolving.

Stay tuned for Part II:  The Cultivation of “Passion Power”:  Improvising the “Out-Rage-ous”.  Until then…Practice Safe Stress!

 

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, "The Stress Doc" ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is a national keynote and webinar speaker and "Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst" known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations.  The Doc is a training and Stress Resilience Consultant for The Hays Companies, an international corporate insurance and wellness brokerage group.  He has also led “Resilience, Team Building and Humor” programs for various branches of the Armed Services.  Mark, a former Stress and Violence Prevention Consultant for the US Postal Service, is the author of Resiliency Rap, Practice Safe Stress, and of The Four Faces of Anger.  See his award-winning, USA Today Online "HotSite" – www.stressdoc.com – called a "workplace resource" by National Public Radio (NPR).  For more info on the Doc's "Practice Safe Stress" programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email stressdoc@aol.com or call 301-875-2567.